A/N: The end of this chapter contains a sensitive topic and maybe triggering, so please read with caution or skip after the flashback. (Although I suggest not to because it is somewhat relevant to the overall story).

Four years later...

It had been difficult to leave the seclusion of the hotel room in Muggle London. She had always chosen to meet Ron outside the Wizarding world for two very important reasons. One, because it was safer to meet in a world where no one knew who they were and two, because when they did it felt like none of what they did was real. Pansy wasn't living her life, she was living a Muggle's; a young girl who hailed one of those London black cabs, who worked in a swish clothing store, whose only goal was to save up and travel the world; not a Pureblood heiress who had lived through a war, who was cheating on her husband with a man she once considered an enemy and a blood traitor.

After Ronald left, Pansy opened the curtains wide and peered out through the Lanesborough Hotel window. Morning light fell through and though she was still sleepy she couldn't stand the idea of crawling back into that bed alone. She hated herself on most days but this morning was particularly hard on her. He had actually ordered her to marry him. How dare he demand her to leave Blaise, to tell her he loved her and to assume she loved him back. The arrogance and gall of him! It stirred something violent in her. Pansy had never met someone who aggravated her the way he did; his lack of manners, the way he practically inhaled his food without chewing, the way she sometimes caught him adjusting his trousers under his robes like some uncivilized brute and that loud unrestrained laughter when he found a silly thing funny.

Stepping into the bathroom to have a shower her mind continued to imagine how awful things would be. She'd have to live in a small house, with barely any clothes or jewels, and have family dinners with the other redheaded barbarians—and oh Merlin—she'd seen them wearing those jumpers his mother knitted. She'd have her very bloody own one too, she grimaced as she washed shampoo out of her hair. Except, she realised with dread, his mother will probably hate me. Frowning she decided that Mrs. Weasley would just have to tolerate her because Pansy had decided upon waking and seeing that shock of red hair that she would indeed marry the silly oaf and move into a small house and have next to nothing and probably earn the ire of her parents and all her Pureblooded friends. It would be torturous but she'd bear it all like a true martyr. Grabbing a towel, she stepped out of the shower and began to pat her skin down methodically. First starting with her ankles, up her legs, then her arms, her chest, her hair last… Ronald thought it was strange but always watched the routine with a stillness unlike him.

Once she was dressed, she disapparated home, to her big beautiful mansion. Her big, beautiful, empty mansion which echoed every spoken word till the rooms sounded haunted. As she walked down the long wide hall toward the master bedroom she caught a glimpse of shadow reflected by the firelight in the living room. Her heart stopped. Had Blaise come home early to find her gone—?

"You're not my husband," murmured Pansy in relief as she stepped inside and saw the figure of her friend sprawled across the sofa staring up at the ceiling.

"Fortunately not," scoffed Theo not bothering to sit up nor look at her. "Where have you been?"

Pansy sighed with exhaustion. "I stayed at Tracey's, we—" Theo raised a closed fist in the air, his thumb stuck out. "What are you doing?" she clipped, a delicate eyebrow raised.

"Counting the lies you tell me."

She shrugged off her muggle coat and threw it onto the back of the armchair. "Go home, Theodore. It's late and I'm tired," she sighed crossing her arms.

Theo tutted. "You've been a very naughty girl Pansy…"

Pansy remained silent, staring into the fire trying to figure out just how much Theo knew and how. But it didn't really matter, did it? Because soon everyone would know.

"Blaise would be devastated," he said, finally deciding to look at her. "If he ever found out…"

Gritting her teeth, she warned. "Stay out of our marriage."

"End it," he said. "Or I'll—"

"Or you'll do what?" she cut in softly. "Tell him?"

Collecting herself, she walked across the room and began pouring a glass of wine. He watched with unease as she moved toward him.

"Why don't you have a drink?" she sneered, offering it out to him. "It's all your good for these days."

Theo swung his legs down and stood. "Fuck you," he snarled, smacking the glass from her hand. It broke into tiny shards and stained their Persian rug red.

"Now look what you've done," she clucked softly ignoring his violent outburst. "Well, if it's not a drink you're after, then it's breakfast you'll get."

Pansy called her house-elf Minnie. Theo needed to eat. Badly. The elf apparated next to her. "Breakfast Minnie dear," she said giving Theo the once over. "And make it a big one," she added smiling sweetly.

Theo rolled his eyes and walked out passed her in the direction of the smaller of the two dining rooms, where Pansy and Blaise usually took their meals.

"If you don't mind," said Pansy lighting the fire with her wand. "I plan on telling Blaise myself."

"You what?" he hissed yanking a chair out for her.

"As I said," she intoned, sitting. "It's really none of your business."

His jaw clenched. "You and Blaise are my friends, how can I just ignore what you're doing. And with that bl—"

Theo clamped his mouth shut when suddenly Minnie arrived with their freshly made pumpkin juice. He took it and downed the drink as if it were firewhiskey and gave Pansy a challenging glare while waiting for the house-elf to leave.

"—with that blood traitor," he finished.

She let out a delicate laugh that grew raucous till she'd fallen back against her chair clutching her stomach from stitches.

"What the hell's the matter with you?" he snapped.

"You're quite the comedian," she murmured, a grin still on her face as she swirled the liquid gently in her hand.

"Forgive me if I don't find infidelity a hilarity the way you do."

Her lips curled into a feline grin. "Actually I find your hypocrisy amusing," she hummed.

"Whatever you think you know, you don't," he said quietly. But she was fairly certain she knew a lot more than he was aware.

"Oh," she mused, smiling like the cat who'd caught the mouse. "Care to tell me why Hermione Granger stepped down as editor at Obscurus Books?"

Theo gave a noncommittal shrug. "That had nothing to do with me or the publishing house. She left for personal reasons… her parents... it's a long story..."

Pansy ran a finger around the rim of her goblet, her smile slipping as she thought of a young boy she'd once adored. "You know," she began, her eyes pinned on his, watching intently. "I spent the better part of my youth watching Draco drool over that girl and we both know what happens to Slytherins who—"

She could only hear the crackle and spit of the fire behind them as Theo held her gaze, begging her not to finish that sentence. She called Minnie to refill their goblets. They were silent and Pansy regretted that it could not be alcohol the elf was pouring instead. At least that would help drown the ever amounting guilt. Not guilt for Ronald—although there was that too—no… for inviting Hermione to her engagement party. For indirectly putting Theo and her into a room together and telling him, now be nice to her, talk to her, she's come alone without those other two and for Merlin's sake whatever you do, don't bring up the book or Draco. It'll only upset her more. Pansy knew now more than anyone the chain reaction you could set off with just one chance encounter.

"I haven't got the foggiest idea of what you're talking about," he said taking another swig of pumpkin juice. "I barely saw her while she worked there… barely see her now."

Once Pansy wasn't able to see Ronald for a whole twenty-two days. She almost went mad— although the reunion was well worth it.

"Does it matter?" she asked with a tilt of her head. "Her physical presence?"

Theo closed his eyes as if the question exhausted him. "I've known you for what Pans—since we were four or five? I've never asked you for anything, isn't that right—all these years—not one thing, not really."

"Yes," she conceded, a little taken aback with the abrupt change in topic.

"Do me a favor," he clipped and he meant every word. "Do not mention Hermione Granger to me ever again."

Pansy blinked. "Alright," she said with some reluctance. "I promise."

Swallowing some more pumpkin juice her mind pulled back to Draco's funeral. The one and only time she had ever seen Blaise and Theo cry. Except no one was looking at them. They had all been too distracted by Hermione Granger, who had not cried nor said a word of remembrance. There was something so frightening about her gaunt expression and the way she stared at the empty hole in the ground as if she were the one to be buried there instead. Narcissa had lined the grave with flowers. She had done so with Lucius' grave too. Pansy almost startled at the pop of apparition as Minnie and Remy, the other house-elf, appeared and began setting breakfast on the table. It was a beautiful spread that the Muggles in the hotels she frequented called 'the American breakfast' and it had her stomach growling.

Theo began serving himself as if he had not eaten for days and she worried that he actually hadn't. She worried for him immensely, had even aired her concern with Blaise but he'd merely shrugged as if it couldn't be helped. She was sure that something was taking place in her friend's life, something he wouldn't allow anyone else near and she knew, whatever it was, it had something to do with Hermione Granger.

As Pansy began to serve herself she thought of when it might have all started. Possibly two months or so after the funeral, at Diagon Alley.

"Look," sneered Daphne from across the table. "It's Britain's most famous Mudblood."

Tracey who was sitting next to her grabbed the girl's arm roughly. "Don't call her that!" she hissed. "Calling someone a Mudblood right now is dangerous. Anyone overhears and the next thing you know they'll brand us Pureblood sympathizers!"

For Merlin's sake, thought Pansy, her eyes darting around the cafe. Daphne really could be so loud sometimes.

Tracey was shifting uncomfortably in her chair, regretting her outburst as Daphne subtly rubbed her arm. "Sorry, I didn't mean to get so angry but you should be careful how you speak."

Daphne gave an exaggerated pout.

"I haven't seen her since the funeral," murmured Blaise staring out through the cafe window and across the street. Then he turned his gaze to Theo. "Have you?"

Theo blinked. "Have I?" he echoed. "No, not since the funeral."

"I was surprised to see Potter and Weasley there," commented Daphne innocently. "Thought they hated Draco. Even that odd Ravenclaw girl showed."

Pansy caught the split-second glance Blaise gave Theo before shrugging. "Probably came for Granger. Emotional support and all…"

"What is she doing?" scoffed Pansy who was watching as Hermione walked into Flourish & Blotts, her arms already balancing a pile of books. "Does she really need more books?"

Tracey's head was down, almost staring into her lap. "I heard she's going round to all the bookstores trying to buy every copy."

Pansy, Theo and Blaise's heads swiveled to the blonde girl whose hair was falling over her face as if she didn't want to be seen.

"Copies of what?" asked Theo.

Tracey began fidgeting with her serviette. "I thought you would've already heard," she answered without looking up. "Rita Skeeter, she's written a book of sorts…"

Pansy placed her tea down gracefully. "What book?"

She caught Daphne's head turn away, her lips pursed together, which meant that she'd known about this book too.

"It's called the Mudblood Lover. It's about Draco and… and her," said Tracey softly, her head nodding toward the bookstore Hermione had just entered. "It came out last week and I heard it's a bestseller."

Blaise for once, opened his mouth, looking utterly inelegant like a gaping fish. "That's, it's—" he spluttered.

"It's slander," said Theo whose expression had barely changed.

Daphne finally deigned it fitting to speak. "Skeeter changed names and other little things, enough to claim that it's fictional but anyone who has half a brain can put two and two together."

"So the little Gryffindor's decided to buy all the copies so no one else can read it," said Theo as though he'd finished a thought out loud. His eyebrows furrowed as if something didn't quite fit. "She has that kind of money?"

"No," clipped Blaise. "Not even Potter has enough galleons to throw around. Besides, they'd just print more. Demand and supply my friends. I imagine Granger's breaking the bank with her little project."

"I suppose—where are you going?" asked Daphne.

"I'm going to invite her to our engagement party," replied Pansy who had suddenly risen from her seat.

"What— really?" stammered Blaise who understood the implication of her use of the pronoun 'our' included him.

Pansy put her hands on her hips and glared at her fiancé. "It's what Draco would've wanted," she said with a stern tone as if addressing a child. "Don't you think?"

He was nodding away like an imbecile. "Er yeah, of course," he agreed.

She puffed through her nose, clicking her heels irritably against the floor and he was staring at her as if she were a Chinese fireball. "Well, aren't you going to come with me?"

Blaise stood so quickly he seemed to sway. "Coming," he smiled.

She chanced a glance at the girls who were looking at her as if she'd gone mad. Pansy rolled her eyes and gave them a little humph before beginning to cross the street over to the bookstore. The door to Flourish and Blotts tinkled as she and Blaise walked through. Hermione was at the counter and had just finished paying for more copies of the Mudblood Lover. She seemed startled when she turned to find them there at the door. Then suddenly behind them, the door tinkled again and following Hermione's eye line Pansy looked behind and saw Theo enter. She clenched her jaw wondering why on earth he thought it would be a good idea for him to tag along. The Gryffindor was looking at them apprehensively as if three snakes had managed to corner her. To make things worse Blaise gave her an uneasy smile, his eyes darting between the two women, waiting for Pansy to give him a cue.

Merlin help her.

"Hermione," said Pansy opting to call her by her first name. "It's nice to see you. I haven't seen you since..." she faltered not wanting to bring up the funeral. "It's been too long."

Her eyes slid over the three of them suspiciously. "What do you want?" she asked in a small voice.

Theo nodded toward the books which she had put into several paper bags and were cutting, Pansy imagined, deeply into the skin of her palms. "Light reading Granger?" he drawled.

Pansy bit her tongue to keep from yelling at Theo to keep things civil. "Listen, Hermione," she began, disregarding Theo. "Blaise and I—" she subtly elbowed her fiancé in the ribs, "—would like to cordially invite you to our engagement party."

Her beau cleared his throat and snapped his fingers producing a formal invitation for her with a flourish. Hermione took it with some unease.

"It's formal attire," he winked. "Dress to impress, I say."

Pansy fought the impulse to pinch the bridge of her nose and smiled instead. "Or wear whatever you like," she amended. "Just come, it'll be—" She began searching for the right word. "Fun."

Hermione's lips tugged into a frown. "Really?" she asked suspiciously as though they were back in Hogwarts and Pansy was about to snatch the invitation from her hand as some cruel joke. Pansy was so distracted by the absurdity of the situation she almost missed Hermione ask if she could bring someone.

"I'm already going," smirked Theo. "No need to bring me, love."

Blaise almost laughed but quickly covered it up with a cough, while Hermione, to Pansy's satisfaction, ignored him diligently.

"Thank you," she said holding Pansy's gaze. "And congratulations."

The couple smiled awkwardly back. "Well… see you there," said Blaise as a way of ending this torment.

There was a clumsy fumble for the door as they all made to leave at the same time. Theo being the closest held it open as Pansy and Blaise stepped aside for Hermione to pass through first. She didn't miss the nervous glance Hermione threw at him while crossing the threshold. She wondered what that exchange had been about and turned to look back just as Hermione did. Pansy smiled and gave a small wave goodbye. Her heart broke a little as the girl she'd envied, and snubbed throughout school, tried to raise her hand to wave goodbye back, unable to, due to the weight of the books; of her own tragic love story. As the three took their seats back at the cafe, Theo smirked, "Well, that went swimmingly."

"Really?" asked Daphne, unable to hide her curiosity.

Pansy smiled but she knew it didn't reach her eyes. She looked at Blaise who seemed to be relieved now that it was over but content all the same. Theo's eyes, however, had drifted back across the street to the bookstore.

Looking around at her friends she said, "She's bringing a plus one—" Daphne's eyebrows rose. "I'll just have to consult the seating chart and find her a place, that's all—" Blaise had returned to sipping his coffee. "Not as if I've spent an entire month perfecting it!" Pansy smiled again tightly.

Blaise gently laid his hand on her shoulder. "You did a good thing, Pans."

Her shoulders sagged and she looked at him in that sickening way the others couldn't stand. "She's just so… it's like she's barely there and—"

"I have some business to attend to," said Theo, rising from his seat suddenly. He gave Daphne a quick kiss on her temple but Pansy could tell it had been for show. Another month and Theo would have lost interest. If Pansy were being honest, so would have Daphne. Her darling friend was an absolute butterfly. She only liked to flitter from one man to another, like the rotation of a pretty wardrobe she'd wear one bloke one day and another in a few months. Today it's Theo, perhaps tomorrow it'd be Mark. And Merlin help Mark whoever he may be.

Blaise's eyebrows furrowed. "Business?" he frowned, almost as an afterthought. "We went over your estate's finances yesterday—" But the door to the cafe had already closed behind Theo.

Pansy looked across the street. She understood what business Theo had to deal with and it suited her just fine for him to sort things out. Rita Skeeter could burn for all she cared.

"I didn't mean anything by it, I'm sorry," said Daphne so abruptly that she stuttered. "Calling her a Mudblood— I only meant—well I just meant—the book—"

Clearing her throat Pansy interrupted. "Let's talk flowers!" Because anything to do with Draco made her want to get into bed, curl up and never leave it.

A sound broke her from the memory. The clink of something.

"Is Missus needing anything else?" asked Minnie who'd brought the salt and pepper shakers to the table.

She gave the house-elf a swift shake of the head and dismissed her.

Theo was cutting into his egg, the yolk spilling over his bread. Pansy looked down at her own plate and between dredging up old memories and her current predicament she felt like puking into it. She stared at the fried eggs, the yolks round and yellow. Unbroken.

"I was pregnant," she blurted.

Theo's cutlery slipped on his plate making the most awful scraping sound.

"You ought to be a little more careful," she cringed. "All our tableware is porcelain, not to mention priceless."

He merely put his fork and knife down neatly on his plate and waited for her to continue.

She began playing with the stem of her goblet. "It was during the last year of Hogwarts… he made me take a potion to get rid of it."

Theo sat back in his chair, almost a lethargic dismissive countenance. "Why?"

"He didn't think we were ready—and I suppose we weren't and things were muddled with the war and—"

"But you wanted to keep it," cut in Theo.

Pansy's hand shook as she reached for her goblet again. "Yes," she said before taking a delicate sip. "More than I've wanted anything."

Theo's eyes fell to his plate. "He should not have asked you to do that."

She swallowed. "And I should not have taken the vial from him when he gave it to me…" she admitted. "But I did."

"Is this why you've been having an affair with Weasley? Running off to Muggle London instead of here working on your marriage?"

It was jarring to hear the words of her infidelity read out loud to her.

"I'm not a brave person, Theo. Not when it really matters. It's become clear that neither is Blaise."

"You blame Blaise," he supplied… as if he knew. But he knew nothing.

"No, I don't," she whispered, her eyes stinging. "I love my husband very much. I just think that at least one, out of the two, needs to be brave for love to last… and Ronald is so very brave."

Theo's lips tugged into a deep-set frown. He looked so much like Draco when he did so. Such ugly expressions on pretty faces.

"Pansy," he rasped. "You cannot leave Blaise. He has loved you his whole life."

"I think I have to," she said softly. "I'm with child again and it's not his this time."

Theo gulped, his eyes darting helplessly around the table before jumping up, his chair scratching against the marble. Every movement of his these days were rough; grated. Had Hermione Granger done that to him?

"I don't want to know," he whispered running a hand through his hair. "I don't want to know any of this."

Tears were falling into Pansy's food.

She wished she did not love that stupid redhead as much as she did. Things would be far simpler if she'd never walked into that bar. If she'd not been consumed by alcohol and jealousy after finding out about Blaise's little tryst with Ginny. She wished she had never drunk that potion and killed the thing growing inside her. She wished that this news would not break Blaise's heart; the way he had once silently broken hers. But she wished, most of all, to have her best friend back. Draco would've never allowed her to do what she did. He would've fought for her to keep the baby… he would've protected her during that last dreadful year at Hogwarts when Death Eaters ran the school. She'd give anything to see that cocky grin or to hear some snarky remark. Who would now be her child's Godfather?

Pansy smiled to herself through tears wondering if Draco would've found it as amusing as she did that his Godson—for Pansy was sure she was having a boy—would be a Weasley. Dear Merlin, she thought. She was going to accept that prat's proposal and make him deliriously happy. Far too happy and smug for her liking. Pansy decided with a wicked gleam in her eye that she'd wait till after the wedding to announce that she was pregnant with his child.

He wants to marry me and be with me forever? Well, fine, she huffed. He can have me. Me and much, much more.

Serves him right, the handsome bastard.