Chapter 4

After a couple of days, it wasn't that bad. Sanji told himself it was indigestion. Maybe he eat something bad that day. But the longer he kept telling himself those different excuses, the harder it become for him to explain what going on with his body or wrong with him and why he get sick every morning.

But it wasn't the worse he handle before, he told himself, even if it make him feel weaker every time. Sanji didn't felt that bad despite the creepy changes that happen to him recently like the weird combination of food he had no idea where it come from or the mood swings.

No, the worse thing was that the person he love the most, that he didn't want to see him in that state, watch him on purpose and refuse to leave when Sanji threw up his soul. It was the worst torment he could ever feel even if the other man didn't mean it that way.

And Zoro didn't stop to watch him even when he ask him to stop watching or leave him be. Sometimes he yelled at Zoro to go fuck himself! But Zoro didn't move from his spot and kept helping with his hair in silence. His silence was so much worse than the nausea until Sanji wanted to just die right there.

Why is it so hard to just leave him alone in those moments?! Did Zoro think he was helping by being there while his presence alone makes Sanji feel like crap?! Did he feel like his knight or some crap?! while Sanji didn't want to feel anymore weak then he already was!

The stronger he love Zoro, the stronger he wanted him to leave him alone in those weakness moments in the morning. It's not because he didn't trust the man to take care of him or that he didn't appreciate Zoro help. He just didn't want him to see him in those moments. To show him how weak and pathetic he can get! Cause there is always the chance Zoro will get sick of him and leave.

And after three weeks, the nagging marimo forbid him to smoke and start his chant Sanji know would come of "go to the hospital" even though he felt fine. Like Sanji didn't think about it the first time it happens! His reason was:

"cause I"m worried about you, shitty cook!"

Great, thank you green asshole! Like he didn't know he was sick already! Why not go and remind him he was sick every single day they see each other, damn green fucker!? Cause it wasn't enough it was on his mind when he was alone. Sanji curse him and ignore his nagging, sometimes he try to change the subject to something else and sometimes he just yelled he will do whatever the fuck he wanted cause he was Sanji god damn it! And sometimes well, he just use his charm and seduce the fucker to shut him up!

Sanji know his stomach acting weird, he know himself and his body better than anyone else. And he knows something in those weird pains wasn't normal, but still he insisted to ignore it.

Maybe those weird pains will go away on their own if he just ignores it, like the pains of puberty or some crap. And he felt fine other than annoying nausea in the morning that kept until after noon, double appetite and uncomfortable feeling in his lower stomach.

And it wasn't such a big deal, he could still help his father like he normally did. Eat a little more maybe, but it's not something that bothers him that much and just be…his normal self.

His strong will to believe he was okay; that he wasn't sick in something with no cure was what kept him going despite all Zoro efforts to drag him to the hospital or to Chopper. He know Zoro was worried out of his mind and want to help him, but it really piss him off.

Why can't the other man give it a rest already?! Yeas maybe it wasn't that normal for him to have nausea, but he still felt fine other than a little more tiredness.

With every passing day the tiredness become worse and worse, it's like everything he did without effort before like cooking and running or studying become such a difficult task. And his chest hurt, not more than his stomach, but it did. What he never bother to tell Zoro either, cause he know how he react.

Actually he didn't bother to tall him a lot of weird shit that happen to his body lately. That he absolutely didn't care about! or how his stomach get a little weird sometimes. he really didn't want to think deeply about those shit, cause he was convince it will disappear soon.

What did worried him is his changes moods or more accrued to say his depression attacks that come and go. It can be on anything even the most smell and stupid things. When they watch stupid comedy movie together, Sanji can suddenly cry his heart out without any real reason and Zoro would just stare at him weirdly and say:

"Cook. it supposed to be funny. Why are you crying for?"

"Shut up! It just….well, they got..it just.. Sniff sniff"

"Yeas….well, you don't need to cry about it."

"Shut it shitty marimo!" Sanji scream while trying to stop his tears and Zoro roll his eyes and embraced him.

He admit he felt restless and pressure without a clear reason, but he convince himself it was happening cause of two things: Zoro nagging him to go the hospital that he fucking didn't need or want to go, fucking stupid marimo! And the second is the fear from the possibility of him been sick in some weird disuse with no cure that will kill him tomorrow didn't let him sleep well at night.

Those reasons make sense in his head, but sometimes when he found himself weeping on the floor at nights by himself while holding his legs cause Zoro wasn't there with him in that moment or with no clear reason, his perfect reasons start to crumble and not make much sense anymore. He wasn't that clingy and he didn't plan of become one right now! In that he was sure.

Maybe he suffers from depression? he start to wonder about it too, depression isn't that bad compare to unknown disuse with no cure. but it never happen to him in this extreme way until only recently. And most of the time he didn't have that much of a big reason to feel that sad or that happy. Zoro was great, he really did support him but even he had limits. And of course Sanji will never tell him about those nights, he didn't have to know.

But Zoro didn't let him hide for much longer. He come to his house and sticking to him more than ever. He was a pain in the ass, that he love but damn it! He really start to fear from himself and to hurt Zoro.

Sanji try to control his mood swings, he really did try hard. But it was impossible and it make him hate himself even more for leashing out at Zoro at the most random times just cause he was there, shit! He wish Zoro would back off just for a little more time, but Zoro was stubborn and refuse to leave him.

Zoro answer back and stood his ground, his eyes glare at him but they didn't have any malice toward him. they were full of worry and determination. And another thing that Sanji didn't expect to see, Zoro come closer and hold him tight in his arms, ignoring all Sanji curses and tantrum that one morning.

"Shut up, shitty cook! I know you not feeling well, and I would not leave you like this!"

Moments past, and Sanji become quiet and lean on Zoro strong hold. Tears were falling from his eyes.

the truth is he was afraid. He my die tomorrow or after that, but he was more afraid how Zoro would look at him while he was still alive. Sanji start to cry loader and scream in his arms things he didn't mean to say, insulting things, mean things, horrible things.

It was the first time he finally break down in front of the marimo, and it wasn't so bad like he thought it turn out to be. At first all Sanji wanted to do was to run away and hide himself somewhere, but after the first shock Zoro recover quickly and lay down with Sanji on his bed, snuggling and wipe his tears away while not saying a word or judging him. he kept stroking his blond hair gently, staring at the well and kiss his forehead from time to time.

"It's fine cook. Everything is fine. Vent has much has you want at me, we can reconcile latter." he whisper in his ear, encouraging him to take it out while the other blond shake uncontrolledly.

Little did he know about Sanji self-hatred in those moments, that only grow each time cause he really wasn't himself, his emotions were a mass and he can snap at the most tiny things ever. how much he make the other man suffer for no reason, he wonder to himself. Zoro didn't do anything wrong that morning, he just was there and yet here he is throwing a tantrum that he himself wasn't sure why it start.

All he could do is let it out and Zoro let him do it and then cry on the marimo for no reason. Sanji hated the fact he make Zoro take care of him like he was some kind of fragile thing, it was pathetic. And he didn't give him nothing back, he shake from anger inside Zoro arms and bite his lower lip. Hiding his face away on Zoro chest while listening to his heart beats.

He was grateful to Zoro actions and really wanted to do it back, he wanted to support Zoro the same way but there is no way he could do it now. And it was so frustrating!

Moments past while Sanji rest on top of Zoro, the tears dry out and he felt Zoro kiss his head and forehead again, checking out how he's doing.

"You okay there cook? You stop whining and venting for a while. I'm worried for my whiny cook." The marimo tease

"Ohh Fuck you! I'm not whiny!" Sanji choke out with shaking voice and smirk. That asshole sure knows how to light up the mood when he wants too and be an asshole at the same time, he have talent like that. It surprise Sanji every time, he should really kick his ass for this but he was too tired.

Yap, Zoro is amazing at being an asshole softy he love so much. Fuck he should really find a way to make up to him after all the shit he giving him.

After some more kissing and a very long shower, they took off running for school. Sanji burly keep up with him, and when he could not run anymore Zoro took him on his back and run. Their little group started to notice his changes, his appetite change's and created a new nickname for him. Luffy and the other's laugh about his new nickname from the girls "black hole 2" while Sanji hated it with all his might. Cause he wasn't like Luffy at all! Right? Of course he wasn't! it was so cruel! Why they do this to him?! he didn't want to be called like this! Especially not from the girls! It was so humiliating until he wanted to die! But even when he tried to kick the guys he was too busy satisfy his hunger, so he just use his glare and curse them not never ever use this nickname again or they dead.

It all because of that stupid double appetite bullshit that start to control over him! has much has he try to pretend it wasn't there, he still could not stop eating….all day! Luffy looked happy to share this weird…hobby of his while Sanji was miserable of what become of him. Not like Sanji even wanted to share this kind of shit with anyone! Ever! He didn't want this curse from the start, but he was stuck with this so he might has well have a friend to share it with.

The marimo watch him like a hawk, it was really weird how stress out the other man become when Sanji was surrounded by people. Well it true Sanji got much more exhausted when he need to talk to a lot of people, but that no reason to get all protective and freak out about him talking with their friends.

Something was odd with the marimo, and honestly Sanji didn't need those dumb worries in his mind. He have enough pain to handle then Zoro weird behavior. But it still made him anxious and his body shakes from all the pressure he had to deal with.

"damn it marimo! Don't give me more reasons to stress out then I already am!" he scream in his mind and glare at the clueless marimo.

But Sanji kept going and doing the best he could, even if it was hard to go to school and help in his father restaurant. He know he could handle that much, hell he handle so much more harder things before and he didn't even kick Zoro ass for two months.

Still Sanji didn't see it has a problem, even if he became tired for no reason or he got sick every morning or after meals. At least not more than the usual stuff that he was sure will go away soon enough. Until the big incident happen to him that woke him up to the bitter reality.

The reality that maybe it won't go away or get better! And maybe he should start to take care of it.

It wasn't special or different day from all the others before them. At least at first it wasn't, he woke up to Zoro snuggle to him, throw up, brush his teeth and eat again. That was his usual morning routine he got used too, and wakes Zoro up. After school he help in the restaurant in the rush hour, cooking with no break and smoke. Except this time, while helping his father in the kitchen, he felt dizzy and light headed. Sometimes He got dizzy at school or at home or after he throw up, but it always was light dizziness that go away quickly.

This time though it was heavy dizziness that didn't go away and exhaustion fell down on him all at once. He really needed to sit down, but he know he didn't have time to rest since he was in the middle of work.

And before he know it everything start to turn black. He tried to look around and shake his head but it didn't help. He felt himself losing his consciousness slowly while been helpless to stop it. His body felt heavy and he barely know what's going on around him anymore.

He wasn't sure why he was felling to the floor, he was fine just a minute ago! Why was this happening to him and in front of the old man of all people and the other cooks?! they so going to mock him for this – forever. Fainting in the middle of work no less, he was a joke.

And just before he lost consciousness, the only thing he could think of was

"damn it! The old man will have my head for this!"

It hurt, everything hurt in his body. He heard a bang hitting his head and fell into a deep sleep.

When he finally woke up again, he was laying on his bed. A wet towel was on his forehead and a warm blanket covered his body. He felt nausea and took slow and deep breaths to get rid of it. The dizziness was gone but not the humiliation, he wanted to bury himself deep somewhere in a very dark place! so no one will ever find him.

He move his head to look beside his bed, his old man sit there on a small chair and lean his leg on the bed, watching his every move in silence glaring. For a long hour he didn't said anything, only glare softly at his son while the blond look at him back in apologetic eyes.

"I know something going on with you for a while now but…."

"Please just let me explain. I'm fine really, I just felt a little dizzy that's all." but before he could say anything more Zeff cut him off with no mercy.

"Shut up, shitty brat! I'm talking now!" he scream and hit the bed with his leg and that was it, Sanji didn't dare to look back at him. yap, his old man was angry, very angry at him, which mean he mass up big time.

"I didn't think it will get this far! What the hell were you thinking?! Letting yourself become this bad! You look like crap and you burly doing anything anymore! I don't care what it is, but you should take care of it! I have no use for sick people in my kitchen! What if you infect the customers?! Do you want to give us a bad name Little eggplant?!"

Sanji didn't answer to his harsh scolding words, how could he answer for any of this, since everything he said was true. He was an idiot and he let himself ignore his body and all the warning signs for two month's now while also dismiss his lover warning's. the only thing he could answer was a tiny whisper

"I'm sorry, old geezer.." trying his best not to cry.

Zeff huff and fold his arms, stroking his long mustache.

"I don't need your shitty apology! Why didn't you tell me you sick?! You don't trust me?!"

"No I just…." Sanji started but shut his mouth when he sew the old man harsh look. He just didn't wanted to worry him, since he was his role model and he wanted to make him proud.

"Let me guess, you thought it will go away on it's on, right idiot Eggplant?!" he kept scolding him.

Sanji bite his lip hard and look down on his arms in shame that rest on his body, he really didn't have any answer to that too. Since it was also true, he really did convince himself it will work out on it's on, that he was fine.

He heard the old man groan heavily, like the old man he was and a little tired smile come to his face. Has much he felt horrible for what he done, he was a little bit happy the old man was so worried about him.

"You such a big moron! I can't believe I raise such an idiot!"

"Hi! It wasn't that bad, stop making such a big deal out of it! It's not like I'm going to die." Sanji recover back, like their usual arguments.

"Don't answer me back, shitty eggplant! You hundred years too young to answer me back!" the old man frown deeply

"But I'm fine now! I can still work. It just one time thing…give it a break, shitty geezer! Come on, give me another chance." Sanji beg him

"I said shut up or I kick your head so hard you faint again!" Zeff growl at his son, that do has he was told and look away like a kid that just got scolded for staling.

"From now on, you not allowed in my kitchen! And you will go to the shitty hospital, like it or not! and you will call me after those shitty tests or I will not let you come home!"

Sanji body shake and his eyes got blurry from the tears, he not only kicking him out from his home but firing him from the only thing he love to do?! How much cruel can he get?! He might has well kill him while he at it.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not firing you eggplant. But you useless in my kitchen the way you are now. When you get better, I let you come back." His voice got softer toward the end of the sentence, but it still hurt a lot for Sanji to hear. So he could not stop the tears from his eyes, so he was useless now. The one big thing he was afraid off the most actually come true, great. He really didn't want to stop working in his kitchen, and the old man knows it.

"I…I got it. I will…go" Sanji mumble in tremble and hurt voice.

"Good eggplant. I come visit you when I have time." A soft smile was folding in the old man face. They both try to look strong and didn't say much more to each other after that, but the warm eyes were enough for Sanji to know that his old man was there for him if he needed any support.

"Get better soon, shitty eggplant." With those last warm words, he left Sanji to rest in his room and close the door. Zeff didn't look back while stepping out of the room Sanji weep in silence while holding tight into the blanket.

Thinking about what was happening to him there, he really screw it up big time. The old man had any right to get angry at him but it still hurt. What he going to do now without his cooking? At least when he work he could feel like his old self, his healthy self. But now he lost that too. Not even talking about him making Zoro life a living hell on earth for no reason. In the silence of his room, he felt how slowly his world crumbles right in front of his eyes. What else did this stupid disease will take from him, His ability to walk?! He won't be surprise if it's really happen. He was so tired of all this shit. He just wanted it to be over, this suffering. he wanted to be his old self again, his healthy self. Was it too hard to ask?!

He hold up a fist and cry on his arm, taking out the despair he felt in those horrible two months. He was exhausted physically and emotionally and he just wanted to rest. Whatever that disease was, if it didn't have any cure he rather die now then suffer the long wait for it to come. he didn't want to leave Zoro side, but would Zoro really want to stay with a sick pathetic person like him? Someone he needs to take care of all the time? Somewhere in his heart, he know Zoro didn't need something like this, a burden like him and start to imagine how to break out with him. What make him cry even harder and bite his arm because it hurt! It hurt to even think about been without the other man.

Before he could finish his train of thought the door slam open and Sanji jump in surprise and gasp while moving his arm from his mouth. Watching who ever barge in so rudely, his eyes open in shock to see the moss head standing there out of breathe and gasp for air. Like he was running all the way to his house from school without stopping, his open shirt and chest were damp in sweat and he throw away his bag.

"You…scared the shit out me. At least knock on the door." Sanji mumble while shaking a little, he wasn't sure what's going on or why the other man seem so freak out all of sudden, But it didn't help his condition.

Zoro kept trying to get his breaths under control and without answering him, Zoro run into his bed and hug him tight. Making sure he wasn't too rough with him, Sanji could feel Zoro heart beating fast, like he was getting a heart attack.

"That's ahh….my ahh…line! damn it!" Zoro growl under his heavy breath and kept hugging him close while kissing his face many times.

"You..okay?" Sanji ask slowly, a little shocked to see Zoro behavior. Zoro never show him this kind of side and he never freak out so much before. He always was so calm and calculated, even when he got angry he had some kind of control over it. it was so out of character for him so Sanji wasn't sure how to react.

"No!...You ahh…I heard…you fainted. What happen, Cook!?"

Sanji listen to his frantic voice while slowly hugging him back and stroke his short green hair. After hearing Zoro few words, everything made sense. Zoro mast have heard from his old man and thought it mast mean something horrible happen to him than what actually happen. Yeas he lost his consciousness for a moment, but he felt fine now. Since Zoro was aware of his "situation" from the very start, he mast also come to the same conclusion that his life can be on the line.

"I'm fine marimo, I didn't die. so calm down I just fainted is all. Did you run all the way here from school without stopping, you crazy marimo?"

Sanji could not help himself from giggling at the thought of Zoro making circle's around town just to found his place, while running franticly in the streets. damn it, he really love him so much, he felt bad now for thinking of giving up on him.

"Shut it, that's not the point! you not 'just fainted' cook! This is serious! Why didn't you listen to me and go to the damn hospital, you annoying stubborn asshole?! If you won't go now, I will force you!"

has much he tried to sound angry and powerful in his voice, he was shaking in Sanji arms and his heart beat didn't calm down. He was really worried for him, Sanji know that now despite him never saying it out load.

"I'm sorry marimo. You were right, I was stubborn. But geez you don't have to force me! I will…come with you. I just…for a little more time, I didn't want to think about it. I don't want to be sick, I don't want to think about dying. The truth is…." Sanji finally confess with tremble voice that burly could be heard. But he knows Zoro could hear him.

"I was scared of knowing what it is. Has long I didn't know, then there is still a chance it was nothing. the possibility of me not getting healthy again. I…was scared and stress out about it all this time, but I didn't want you to see me has weak and pathetic. But I guess it finally catch up to me."

After he finally said his piece, he sighs in relief. He needed to do this for a long time, but he just run away. he was glad he finally could let it out and be honest with the other man. Sanji burry his face inside of Zoro chest while the marimo heart calm down slowly, It felt so good.

"Are you an idiot?! Who said you going to die!? Don't jump to the worst possibility before you hear who your enemy is! What the point of not knowing the truth?! You have to face this enemy and beat the crap out of it with whatever way possible. Even if it doesn't have any cure, Chopper will create one if needed, so stop thinking like that! You not going to die, you...no we going to fight this and we will win!"

With that Zoro hug him tighter and come closer to lean on the bed, staring at him with determination while Sanji laugh loudly with all his heart. it been a long time since he could laugh happily like this. Like he didn't have any care in the world with a wide smile.

"Oi! What's so funny?!" Zoro growl with a blush on his face, trying his best to look strong and in control but his blushing face betray him.

"hahaha…Nothing it just…hahaha did you ever thought of giving this motivating speech to your club members? I'm sure they would love it." Sanji said with happily. Great now he even more in love with the marimo, how can it even be possible to love someone much more then humanity possible?

Zoro look away with a deep frown and click his tongue, he forgot how much fun it was to tease the adorable marimo. And after he finish laughing, he took Zoro hand in his and kiss it.

"Thank you moss head, really I mean it. Your corny speech motivate me, so be happy marimo, you manage to motivate me with the corniest shit ever. I love you so much!" Sanji cheer in amused voice and kept giggling at him. He really did enjoy this to the fullest. Zoro growl and glare at him in annoyance, his face become even redder then before.

"Shut up!"

Zoro hold himself from starting a fight with him, since he could finally relax and be at ease knowing he was okay, so for now he will forgive him. And he did agree to go to the hospital, what he know for sure would be hard on the blond idiot. still that moron just can't seem to take a break from teasing him, what Zoro didn't like at all. He promise himself that right after Sanji recover, he will punch the shit of him!

"Seriously though, I can't go by myself. I know it's pathetic but I really can't do it." Sanji admit while his eyes were downcast at his hands, he felt like the other man will never see him in the same light has he did before when they first meet.

But he knows he needed this, he wanted to be honest with him and with himself. Still it make him sad he will never be has strong and cool has he was in the marimo eyes. Zoro watch him and sigh, scratching his neck he come closer to Sanji face and force him to raise his face to him, to look at him. A warm smile form toward him and start talking again with his deep voice Sanji love so much.

"That's better. Of course I'm going to come with you, moron! What were you thinking?! I'm your boyfriend! Of course I will want to accompany you there, even without you asking me. Isn't it only neutral?! Geez, for a love cook you sure are stupid!"

Before Sanji could react to any of his insult's, Zoro kiss him passionately, caress his blond hair and make sure Sanji lay down on the bed.

"What…mmm…alright." too daze from the kiss, Sanji didn't have any better replay to answer him. he was too busy been relived and happy Zoro will be by his side in that place. And who knows, maybe it really isn't something to freak out about like he was those two mounts. He truly could believe that now thanks to a certain green marimo.

Zoro set down next to him, keeping to caress his head slowly while Sanji relax to his touch. He wasn't stupid, he notice the blond cry before he come into the room. And hope that whatever he was suffering from, he could cheer him up.

"What happen before I come? Something mast happen."

Sanji whine a little and move his face away, so Zoro won't see his expression.

"Nothing much, the old man….he was here. We talk a little." And try his best not to sound hurt or too upset.

"What did Zeff say to you?" Zoro ask firmly yet gentle. He won't drop it now for sure.

"He said…well he practically fire my ass. great right? Now I don't need to work for him and hear his annoying voice or his annoying bitching every week. It's….very good." He wasn't sure who he try to convince here, him or himself but it wasn't working, his voice was shaken again and his body was trembling, he didn't sound convincing at all even to himself. He felt like crying again, fuck.

"I'm so sorry cook." Zoro whisper in his ear and embraced him, cause that was the only thing he can do for him right now. He know Sanji was hurt, not just from his voice but he always adore his father figure Zeff, always talk about him and on his work days. So he can only imgine how tearing up he was inside when Zeff fire him. it was their bond they share.

"What? Don't be, it's alright. I kind of deserved it. What are you apologizing for, moss head? This nothing you should worry about….really it's…" but he could not continue the sentence, he wail again loudly and row and he know he was ugly right now. But he didn't care, at least not right now.

Sanji hold into Zoro tight while he cry, right now was the time to just hold on into the other male and let it out and he did.

TBC

A/N: hello again it's me. it been a long time but finally I finish a new chapter, this chapter didn't have a beta so please forgive any mistakes.
the next chapter will take much longer cause I need to decide how to write sorting things, I"m sorry about it taking so long =_=
I really want to thank to all of you that been following and comment on this story. I"m really happy you like it and read it.
and I hope you like this chapter and the way it going. I wonder what will be your favorite moment in this chapter, if there is any.
I write too many other stuff that I never finish or publish ^^" I"m horrible XDD