Broken Trust

CONTENT:
Rating: Mature
Flavor: Adventure/Drama
Language: yes
Violence: slightly
Nudity: a bit (m)
Sex: discussed
Other: none

Author's Notes:

This is part of the Bargain, before I put Zevran's scene in between.

Broken Trust

==#==

Bannon dragged himself out of bed the next morning. He hadn't slept well, though he was hard-pressed to tell if his nightmares were from the Archdemon, or simply fears conjured by the witch. He doubted now that Morrigan had any intention of saving him or any other Grey Warden. But he had no other hope to cling to, save that Riordan - and perhaps even Alistair - would die so he wouldn't have to.

He dressed in darkness, then left his room, mind churning. Never mind the demon or the witch - what was he to do about Zevran? The Antivan had been almost infuriating throughout the entire insane relationship - but now that he'd broken through those barriers and found the part of him that could love, Zevran was terrified to commit. And Bannon couldn't blame him - how could he be so cruel as to offer love to Zevran and then die, tearing the man's heart apart once more? If he survived the Archdemon, perhaps then Zevran would be able to love him without fear. The problem was, he had over-committed his own heart, and he didn't know if he could survive this without Zevran to be there for him.

As he came to the corner of the hall, he ran into Zevran coming the other way. Startled, he stopped dead. The Antivan's face was twisted in anger. Bannon felt his heart drop into his stomach. "I see you did not waste any time finding yourself a replacement bed-mate," Zevran snarled.

Shocked, Bannon reeled back a step; he felt gut-punched. His heart lurched back into motion, double-time now in panic. Zevran knew? But how? Worse, he now heard Riordan coming down the hall behind them. If the Orlesian Grey Warden found out about Morrigan's offer, he would never stand for it. He didn't know Morrigan; he'd have her executed as an apostate. "Keep your voice down!" Bannon hissed. He grabbed Zevran by the arm and lunged for the door to Alistair's room. It opened, and he shoved the Antivan inside, ducking in behind him and slamming the door shut.

Alistair yelped in surprise at the sudden intrusion and grabbed a sheet to cover himself. "Uh, guys? Naked human, here!" The elves ignored him, and he knew this had to be bad.

"I will not keep my voice down!" Zevran snapped, ignoring Bannon's attempts to stifle him. "I felt so badly for you, my love-" he twisted these words like a knife in a wound - "that I came to your room to... to..." His face reddened in anger, his disgust so palpable he couldn't force out the words. "To discover your door locked, and to hear quite clearly what you and Morrigan were doing!"

"Morrigan?" said Alistair, thoroughly puzzled. He spied his pants and darted to get them.

"It's not what you think," Bannon tried to explain.

"Do not tell me I do not know the sounds of passionate love-making when I hear them!" Zevran shouted.

Alistair dropped his pants. "You slept with Morrigan!?" he asked in disbelief.

"I can explain!" Bannon said desperately to Zevran.

"No! I will not listen to any more of your silver-tongued lies! Morrigan was right, you are a despicable snake! To think, I laughed when you told me how you were just leading her on, making her feel wanted! Never did it occur that you were doing the same to me! How stupid I have been to believe anything you have ever said to me!" He bared his teeth. "You and your witch deserve each other indeed! Good riddance!" He grabbed the doorknob and started to yank the door open.

Bannon slammed his palm against it, shutting it fast. "If you won't listen to me - fine! At least listen to Alistair."

"What does he know about this?" Zevran snarled.

"Me?" Alistair looked baffled. "I don't know anything about - anything!"

"Tell him what Riordan told us last night," Bannon said levelly. His eyes remained locked on Zevran.

"What does this have to do with -?" the Antivan began.

"Just listen will you?" Bannon glared at him hard. Zevran backed off, folding his arms. Both elves turned towards Alistair.

Hurriedly, he put his pants on. "Well, all right. Riordan explained why we need Grey Wardens to kill the Archdemon. It has to do with the Joining, and the Taint." He buckled his belt, looking from Bannon to Zevran to make sure they wanted to hear it all. "It's all very complicated, but the short version is; only a Grey Warden can kill the Archdemon, and the Warden who does so... dies."

Zevran flinched. "Why?"

"It's the only way the Archdemon can be destroyed," Bannon answered, looking at the floor. "The Archdemon's essence is bound to the Grey Warden's soul, and both are destroyed."

"But," Alistair said hesitantly, "I'm not sure what this has to do with Morrigan...?" He and Zevran looked to Bannon for an explanation.

The elf took a breath and began. "Morrigan was in my room last night."

"Obviously," Zevran scoffed.

The elf forged on. "She told me she knew about all this already, and that she knew a way to prevent the destruction of the Grey Warden. She said if... there's a ritual she can perform. All I have to do is get her with child." He swallowed bile.

Alistair made a face. "Gah!"

"Unless you want to volunteer!" Bannon snapped at him.

This time, Alistair shuddered. "Euw! Sleep with Morrigan or die a horrible death killing the Archdemon... I'd have to sit down and think about that one - really hard." Twitching in disgust, he turned to find his shirt.

Zevran had remained silent, his face locked, revealing no emotion. "You believed her?"

"I don't know," Bannon admitted frankly. "But I... I don't want to die. I don't want Alistair to die. Hell, I don't want Riordan to die, but if it means the two of us will survive..." Guiltily, he didn't finish that thought.

Alistair said, "Riordan said he would make the final blow."

Bannon looked at him. "There's only three of us. The odds of all of us even surviving the horde... do the math, Alistair."

"You honestly think," Zevran asked, "that this will save your life? All of your lives?"

"I have to try," Bannon told him earnestly; "if there's even the faintest hope. I want to live. I-" he was about to say 'I hope I have something to live for,' but he realized what he was doing, even unconsciously. he couldn't put that kind of pressure on Zevran. Instead he simply said, "I'm sorry."

Zevran said nothing. He turned and left, and this time Bannon let him. Bannon put a hand over his face. He slumped down in the chair by the door. "Maker's Breath," he sighed, "maybe they're right."

"Who?"

"Morrigan, and Zevran. I am a lying, manipulative, self-centered bastard."

"Well, you've been a good friend to me," Alistair told him, pulling on his shirt.

"Before or after you found out I was a thief?" Bannon shot back bitterly.

"Both," said Alistair, thinking about it only a moment. "Why did you come with me to help me with my sister?"

"So you would owe me a favor that I could cash in on when you were king," the elf replied in a deadened voice.

"Hmmm," Alistair said thoughtfully. "That's odd, because I would think a poor, money-grubbing sister would rank higher on my list of people to be passing out favors to." Bannon looked up at him, as if puzzled by this sudden insight. "Plus the fact that you made damn' sure I wasn't made king - just like I had asked you to, for our friendship's sake."

"Uhmm..." Bannon seemed at a loss for words. "It wouldn't have worked out too well, you marrying Anora right after you just beheaded her father right in front of her and all."

"Which you also let me do," Alistair reminded him.

"I know you hated him, Alistair."

"So you let me execute him, even though it would have been better for you if I hadn't. And you got me off the hook being king, even though that blows your plan to use me for royal favors." He moved forward and looked down at Bannon. "Face it, you're a decent guy. And you really are my friend."

"I..." He dropped his head. "Thanks, Alistair."

Alistair looked about to say something, but he hesitated. He shifted his weight uncomfortably, then plunged ahead. "I didn't want to bring this up before... but since everything is going to hell, anyway..." He shrugged. "Why do you even care about Zevran? He's so shallow. I mean, I understand before, when you were under a lot of pressure, and being addicted to the sex. But love? Honestly, Bannon, is he even capable of it?"

The elf shot a look up at him. "He can't help the way he is."

"That's what I mean. He can't help it; he can't change. So what exactly do you expect to gain out of this relationship?" He sounded truly puzzled.

"I don't want anything from him," Bannon said, spreading his hands in explanation. "I want to give something to him." He ran both hands back through his hair, trying to find the words. "Look, when you were a little boy running around playing in the mud, and I was pilfering apples, he was working in a whorehouse. You had your mother; she loved you and cared for you. I had my family. Zevran... Andraste's Tits, his mother sold him." Bannon scrubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. "I don't think he's ever had anyone really care for him. I just want him to know what it's like to be able to trust someone for once in his life; to feel protected - secure. And I-" he shook his head miserably. "I've failed. I'm the worst person to look to for security." He cursed loudly. "I can't even count how many ways I'm going to die young!"

"I... I don't know what to say," Alistair said quietly.

Bannon took a deep breath and pushed himself to his feet. "It's all right. Thanks for being my friend, whether I deserve it or not."

"You sell yourself far too short," the knight told him.

Bannon shrugged. "Let's get going. I'm not hungry, so we might as well start marching now."

==X==

End Notes:

Deleted Bit:

"Even though you could have let Riordan take him and try to make him a Grey Warden. Which, looking back now, might have been a really good idea. Then there'd at least be four of us." - Alistair