trigger warning: this chapter contains a depiction of an almost-attempted suicide and discusses themes of depression and suicidal thoughts

They arrived at the top of the hotel in time before any first responders had shown, the precise scenario Lena wanted. It could be overwhelming to have loud sirens and flashing lights and people yelling, and the last thing she wanted was for the individual to throw themselves off the top of the building for that very reason.

Suicide was quite a concept that that innately human. Lena had felt a particular draw to the idea, doing small amounts of research on the phenomena in nature. There had been studies, and while animals killed themselves, it was never suicide. The act of suicide, a living organism craving oblivion in a dangerous way, was only enacted by human beings.

Her curiosity stemmed from a deep, dark feeling that had dominated her daily interaction with her abusers. Abusers were the word that Tony and Peter used. It described the beings that tore her apart piece by piece, leaving her a shell that her peirasmos had figured out how to fill.

She stared at the figure whose hands were shaking and took a moment to enter inside their head to get a sense of what they were feeling. Without warning, a wave of emotion came over her, and it was strong yet empty at the same time. A sob broke through her chest, two or three tears falling out of her eyes and piling up in the socket of her goggles. PET released some of the pressure, allowing them to slide down her face. She felt Peter's hand on her shoulder, knowing that these tears were caused by her empathic abilities, and she was taking on this man's unimaginable sadness.

The man was in deep sorrow. A pit of darkness that seemed to never end. She wanted to step into his life and fill that hole, but she knew that this illness that he has was going to be an uphill battle and a fight he needed to solve on his own. She inhaled and hummed, audible enough to creep into his senses and ease him backward. He wanted to resist, but her soothing melody was pulling him in.

Austin… she fished around for his name and sang to him when she found it.

"I-I…"

She stepped closer, Peter's hand falling off of her back. With each step she took forward, she beckoned Austin back, hoping and needing the space between them to get smaller. When she was just a foot away, she could feel him resist, craving to fight back and fling himself off the side of the very tall building. She felt her throat clog with tears again but swallowed and shoved them away, knowing she needed her strength to save him from himself.

"Are you…"

I'm The Siren, Austin. She sang it in her alto voice, I know you are distressed and looking for peace. She dug through his mind, searching for someone to emulate, to help him feel more at ease. The image of a young girl appeared, she was significantly younger than him, potentially his teenage daughter.

Look at me, Austin.

He only turned his head until he was able to grasp what he was looking at. A perplexed look flashed on his face as his body followed what his head wanted from him. He clenched his teeth and his face scrunched; he was holding back tears. Lena stepped forward, wrapping her hand around the back of his head and letting it fall onto her shoulder until they were both kneeling, him grasping at her desperately.

"It was a drunk driver. Two years ago a drunk driver killed her," his voice was muffled through the material of her suit, but she understood him, "It's so hard to live in a world without her. She was our only kid..she was everything."

Lena would not have understood this when she first started transitioning into a human being. Her relationship with her parents had been a hateful and strenuous one, as well as nonexistent. The relationship she had built with Tony, though, had replaced it. They would never admit it to each other outright, but she saw Tony as her father, and let him fill a space in her heart that she had not realized was there.

"I understand," she said this out loud, breaking the trance. She had felt the presence of paramedics enter the space, and a gurney was waiting to take Austin away to where he would be safe. "Stay here for her."

They gently guided him towards the medical professionals, letting him lean on both of them for support until he was laying down, blankly staring at the sky until he was wheeled away. As they turned to walk away, Lena felt the intention of a paramedic, a desire to ask a question.

A paramedic wants to talk to us. We should leave.

Peter gave her a short nod, took her by the waist, and propelled himself off the roof, taking him off into the city.

…

She sat on the edge of her pool, a thin white T-shirt hanging on her tiny frame, letting the emptiness in her head fill the room. Her tail waved in the unmoving water, drifting in a similar way that her thought process seemed to. Her heart felt heavy, and she could not determine how to proceed after the strikingly familiar feelings she saw in Austin. He had not been the only one who contemplated death to great lengths.

Peter was leaning in the door frame between her pool and her bedroom, not speaking. She heard his feet against the floor as he approached her, falling onto the ground and dipping his feet into the water. His legs looked short next to the tail that almost disappeared in the thick water. He tentatively raised his hand and rested it on her bare back, his fingers slightly calloused.

"You're not letting me in. Is everything…" he trailed off.

She did not want him to see the darkness she was stewing in. There was a state of mind that her interaction with Austin had taken her back to. Allowing Peter to understand her pain meant that she had to accept it herself, and she had been putting that off ever since she was effectively able to communicate with Peter. It seemed easier for her to be ignorant of her own emotions.

"When I lived in the sea...I sought death in a similar way that Austin did."

Peter tensed next to her, his jaw clenching and the hand on his back tightening. He had not expected this to be her explanation.

"You were treated pretty badly," he responded quietly.

The word 'badly' did not begin to cover it.

Lena could feel Peters mind spinning in a spiral, imitating what hers was doing. Tears tempted to spill out of her eyelids, which was frustrating. She had just saved a man from death by his own hand, yet all she could think about was her own past. It was selfish.

"It's not selfish," Peter whispered, "You just need to process it."

"What do you mean?" what he had said sounded like something humans said often, but it was unfamiliar to her ears.

He scooted closer to her, their hips touching, and his foot grazing the side of her tail, "For the first time you were able to meet someone who felt the same way as you did. That can be scary, and it can also be…" he was searching for the correct word, "validating. MJ says that to Ned and me all the time. 'Your feelings are valid.'"

She had been frowning for so long that her face felt frozen. She relaxed, her face falling into her hands, "I can not stop thinking about it."

A kiss was pressed into the side of her head, "That's okay."

She wiped away tears that she had not realized stained her face and gave Peter a forced smile, "I am going to swim for a while. Will...can you sleep here tonight?"

He nodded, squeezed her hand, and took a seat in the small porch swing that Tony had just recently installed. After a few weeks of Peter sitting on the floor to watch Lena swim, Tony had finally developed a solution so he could be a little more comfortable. The swing, as well as a small tablet connected to a camera that followed her motions allowed Peter to curl up in the swing and relax in a similar way that Lena did when she swam.

Throwing her shirt to the side, she slid into her pool, letting the water wash over her, touching every part of her body, all the way to the tips of the ends of her hair. It was everything that she needed. She felt at home, but in a whole new way. Before, the ocean had been where she lived, but it had also been where was tortured. There was something bittersweet about the way she remembered the Atlantic. It was deeply saddening that she would never step foot in it again, but maybe that was for the best.

Pressing her lips together, she hummed. When she sang underwater, the noise was more malleable and echoed in a mystical way. The water somehow projected the sound farther, providing ways for sailors, and in her case, Peter, to hear it much better. She hummed the tune that Peter had played when first discovering her.

My heart is pierced by cupid

I disdain all glitter and gold

There is nothing can console me

But my jolly sailor bold.

Some days, Lena felt that Peter was her sailor, but others it was the opposite. They supported each other in a way that no other person could. The bond opened them up so that they knew every single thing about each other. It allowed their empathy to become whole, as there was nothing deeper than knowing exactly how another was feeling. She felt fulfilled in a way that made her stronger.

It was a wonder as to why her sisters never embraced that.

She resurfaced, water rushing down her face, and looked over to see Peter fast asleep, the tablet sitting against his knees that were curled into a ball. She smiled and hoisted herself out of the water, letting the fan on the ceiling dry her out so she could put some clothes on and potentially fall asleep herself. If she wanted, she could just will the sleeping Peter over to her bed, but she left him where he was for now.

Since it was just her by herself in her bedroom, she did not bother covering up with a robe or a towel. She was still confused by human modesty rules, but she followed them whenever she felt it was necessary. Yanking open a drawer, she rifled through a few pieces of clothing, all very similar in nature, and decided on a long white T-Shirt that stopped just at her knees. It was typical for lounging. She was about to throw it over her head when she felt a presence in her room that was not supposed to be there. She did not move, she only attempted to see into his mind, which failed before she got anywhere.

"Don't even try to take a look, Siren. I've figured you out. My brain waves are completely off limits to you."

All at once she understood why humans insisted on covering themselves. Standing naked in front of a stranger, let alone a male stranger, was a new kind of uncomfortable she had not experienced before. Her body began to tremble, her skin forming what Peter had once referred to as "goosebumps."

"Here's what we're going to do, Miss Siren. You are going to put your shirt on, slowly. No funny business. Then you're going to stand, with your hands on your head, and not move a single muscle. You will remain silent. If you say even half of a word, or you attempt to use that odd superpower of yours, I will first kill lover boy sitting on the bench, and then I will blow this entire building to shreds. Do you understand?"

She thought of using the bond to stir Peter awake. She thought to reach out into Tony's mind to try and call for help, but the thoughts were followed by a piercing headache, almost forcing her to crumble to her knees. When it stopped, she was out of breath.

"Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Not in the way you know what others are thinking, but I figured you would have hesitation. That was the lowest setting, so unless you want a blinding headache, you better cooperate."

Every movement was slow. Her shirt went over her head, finally covering what she wished the strange man hadn't seen, and her fingers intertwined on the back of her head. Inside her chest, her heart felt as if it would burst out if it were to beat any faster. She was paralyzed with fear and completely helpless.

If only she hadn't lulled Peter to sleep.

A set of hands moved hers behind her back, a rag placed over her mouth, and she felt the world slow, her eyes rolling into the back of her head and an encasement of darkness.

an: thank you so much for your patience! be sure to leave a comment, it would mean the world!