"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is." ― Louis de Bernières
March 1963 - New York, Waldorf Astoria Hotel
The subsequent months bypassed in a hazy blur for both Jed and Abbey, as they completed their respective qualifications. Their relationship had held firm with endurance, in spite of the hot-tempered and sullen moods each suffered; a result of the immense stress only a fellow student could have understood. Yet, with the final few months in approach, Jed and Abbey had been forced to contemplate their future - individual, and otherwise - and it had caused a definitive rift between them. Beseeched by his favoured professor at Notre Dame, Jed applied to achieve further qualification in the form of an M.A. and eventual PhD at the London School of Economics. He had done so, with little consideration for what stead it left Abbey in.
"You look beautiful in that dress."
Abbey smiled, weakly, in appreciation of the repeated compliment. "Thank you for a wonderful weekend." In celebration of a belated Valentine and her 21st birthday, Jed had whisked her away to New York. After months of intensive work, the respite was zealously accepted but the question of whether Jed had the intention to pursue a future halfway across the world had cast a pall over the occasion.
"I decided to accept the school's offer, Abbey." It was the confirmation Abbey had awaited but she harboured resentment at the fact that Jed had not even the decency to look her in the eye when he delivered the blow. He despised himself for that, too. He simply hated to disappoint her.
"I understand," she promptly replied - and she did, partially. It was his ambition and the school was world-renowned. It made perfect sense that he apply for the opportunity and Abbey held a sense of pride that Jed had been awarded an unconditional offer of acceptance. His intellect surpassed even hers, which she denied publicly in jest but happily admitted to him. Besides, Jed had shown her no less than benevolence in his promise to honour her values, especially the importance that she reach her own aspired career in medicine. He deserved a similar curtesy, Abbey wouldn't deny him that.
"This doesn't mean I don't love you, Abbey." Reassurance oozed in every word, if not for her sake but his own. The internal conflict had been far too much for him to bear and he had even pondered whether his decision to apply for a school that would divide them so had been his subconscious need to restore some of the power she held over him.
Abbey dutifully nodded her head, "I know that. I love you, too."
Her answers were what he needed to hear but Jed was unconvinced. "This is an incredible opportunity, Abbey, I would be a fool -"
"There's no need to justify yourself or your decision, least of all to me, Jed." She dismissively interrupted him and retreated into the en-suite, as she peeled the rust-coloured silk dress from her skin. The look of love had filled his eyes when she first appeared in it. She almost lulled herself into a false sense of security that all was well with their world. Like the entire weekend, dinner had been shrouded in small talk. She could hardly nibble at her overpriced entree as Jed merrily conversed the historical patron Saint Valentine and why it was celebrated, before he contemplated the economic profit accrued by the commercial industry. The tedious conversation did little to soothe her uneasy stomach and Abbey forecasted a further hurricane loomed ahead, when Jed barrelled into the en-suite in her wake.
"Okay, let's hear it." Jed firmly planted one hand on the open door and witnessed her slip into her robe. He fixed his eyes solely on hers, in wild refusal to be distracted from the matter at hand. "I want you to say whatever it is that you need to say and I want you to say it now." Bar her initial reaction, Abbey had behaved uncharacteristically reserved and muted her own opinion, whenever Jed actively sought her counsel.
"Well, whatever the master demands, he shall receive," she spitefully sniped, as she collected her chestnut curse into a loose bun atop her head.
The accusatory tone with which she referred to him pained Jed. "Oh, that isn't fair." Emotional distance had been her preferred tactic, since Jed had merely informed her that he would consider the pursuit of a doctorate in London, and Abbey nonchalantly pursed her lips as she removed her make-up. His eyes pierced beyond the mirror she concentrated on. "I have supported you, in every decision." It was the truth. "I abandoned my plans of priesthood for you." Their relationship had been far from one-sided. His love for her had known no bounds and he would much rather have worshipped her than the God he believed in.
Abbey pivoted on her heels, "I never asked you to forgo your dream."
Jed consciously recoiled at the sudden outburst. He replied, baffled. "Nor would I ask the same of you."
Infuriated, Abbey shoved him backward and buried her head in her hands. "Oh, God. How is it, Jed, that someone with your mental capacity can be so incredibly inept?" His eyes fluttered, in confusion. "Harvard Medical School, Jed. Harvard. That has been my dream, since I was ten years old." Any hint that her eyes had started to water was quickly brushed away with the flick of her hand. "How do you expect our relationship to work, if you and I won't even be on the same continent?" When Jed fell backward, silent, Abbey's heart sank with devastation. She had prayed he would have found a miraculous solution. Truth be told, Abbey didn't think one even existed. "London is over 3,000 miles away, Jed." The very phenomenon of the problem Jed had introduced walloped Abbey hard. "I could defer medical school for a year or two, but five?" Two years for the M.A., another three for the PhD and, even then, the numbers weren't infallible. Should he require an extra year of study or decide to tackle an entirely different academia, Abbey would be at his mercy. It was a risk she had neither foreseen, nor prepared for. "To put my life on hold like that -" She had too much drive to simply press pause on the future she so desired. "I mean, in what lifetime would any woman pack up her entire life and move halfway across the world for a man she wasn't even married to?"
The wheels turned rapidly, Abbey sensed the words before he blurted them out. "So, marry me."
He could barely believe the request entered his mind, let alone the conversation. He wasn't even sure it had, until Abbey queried him. "What?" It was the most absurd of times to deliver such a proposal, if it could even be considered one at all.
"I want you in London, Abbey, I need you by my side." The way the words tumbled from him may have seemed like Jed had heavily contemplated the scenario but it had been an impulsive and instinctive decision on his part. A proposal had been in the back of his mind for a while but there had never been an appropriate moment. "Five years, Abbey, I know it sounds like forever but five years is all I ask." He reached for her and curled each hand around her shoulders to inflict momentum. "And, after that, I will follow you to the ends of the earth, I swear it." Seldom was Abbey rendered speechless but the whirlwind conversation had done exactly that, even more so, when Jed fell to his knees and swept her hands inside his for effect. "I mean it, Abbey. I want to marry you." He persisted, his confidence amplified with each second. "I have known it, deep down, since the moment I met you." A hearty chuckle filled the room but Jed quickly replaced his humour with a humbled expression, "Abbey, if you would say yes, it would make me the happiest man in the world." He patiently awaited indication of her response and his body shuffled, his knees in discomfort on the hard tiled floor.
Her response echoed within the tiny en-suite, "No."
Devastation shrouded him and Jed vaulted to his feet. The rapid movement alarmed Abbey and she surveyed the crushed look in his eyes with sheer remorse. "Jed -" Abbey raised one hand to her mouth. He dejectedly wandered out of the en-suite and peered out over the Hudson River that floated beneath their hotel window. Abbey followed him, "I can't marry you, Jed. Not yet." She witnessed the frown displayed on his face in the reflection. "I would be bitter and resentful. I would despise myself, as much as I despised you. Medical school is too important."
"More important than what we have."
"Equally as important, as what we have." She vehemently corrected his assumption that had been driven by his insecurities, which were so very transparent. "I will marry you one day, Jed." Abbey declared with conviction, "But, when that day comes, I won't be Mrs. Bartlet. I'll be Dr. Bartlet."