"No one except your husband knows of the cautiousness at the heart of your life. Your adulthood has been a progressive retreat from curiosity and wonder, an endless series of delays and procrastinations. You wanted to be so much, once, but life kept on getting in the way... You settled." ― Nikki Gemmell, The Bride Stripped Bare
March 1969 - New Hampshire, Bartlet Townhouse
"Oh, pretty baby, don't let me down, I pray. Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay. Let me love you, baby, let me love you…"
The soft hum of her husband welcomed Abbey upon her return home. With her key in the door, she listened to him serenade Elizabeth while he adjusted her white fleece sleep-suit. Fatherhood was an instinctive trait for Jed, in spite of the unconventional example his own father had set for him. Fortunately, Jed strived to oppose the precedent his father had presented.
The front door clicked shut and he noted her presence. "Hey, you're back." His wife softly hummed and received the 3-week old baby from his hold. "I didn't expect you home for at least another hour yet." Jed visibly checked his watch, "How was dinner?"
Abbey scowled, fully conscious of his playful nature. "I couldn't possibly comment… I didn't stay beyond the first course," she sourly admitted. She should have known her attachment to Elizabeth was too potent for her to abandon her baby at home, even for a few hours. Before she had even sped out of the drive, she missed her. It had only been at Millie's relentless plea that Abbey attended the ladies banquet, a formal bachelorette celebration that Abbey could not be absent from, since she was the maid of honour for the bride-to-be. Abbey held Elizabeth firmly to her chest, "I missed her too much." Jed smiled, heart-warmed by her affection for their first-born child. Reluctantly, Abbey returned the tired baby to her cot and ensured the baby monitor was turned on, before she followed Jed into their master bedroom. "Millie must be furious with me." Abbey solemnly perched at the foot of the double bed. She had darted from the restaurant, with barely more than two words of explanation for her sudden departure. At least, she had attempted to devour the calamari appetiser before her dash home. She had missed seafood, in the nine months she had carried Elizabeth. "I was supposed to toast the bride." After the dedication Millie had shown as her own maid of honour, Abbey was happy to return the favour but the inevitable separation from Elizabeth was unbearable.
Jed chuckled, as he folded his arms across his chest. Exhaustion and hormones had done one hell of a number on his wife. Between the two of them, he was more likely to act on impulse but Abbey had suffered from several bouts of irrational attitudes and behaviours in the course of motherhood. It was an enjoyable switch-up, but a temporary one, at most. "Abbey, it's okay." Her lips pushed forward, in the form of a childish pout. She hated the idea that she was destined to become one of those mothers who smothered their child from birth. Abbey mentally noted that she would have to personally call Millie and explain herself. "Millie will understand."
"I hope so," Abbey silently prayed. In an effort to redirect the conversation, she referred to the final chapter of the book Jed had in construction. "Did you finish your chapter?" The book was his latest academic venture into the world of economics.
"No," her husband shook his head, disappointed.
"You have plenty of time to finish it," she promised him, wary not to add to the pressure of the publication deadline that loomed ahead. "Maybe you need a little distraction," Abbey caressed his cheek with her hand, her lips explored his with excitement. The frequency of their sexual relations had naturally decreased, after Abbey hit the five-month mark. Once Elizabeth was born, Jed was hesitant to initiate any physical contact until Abbey was readily inclined. The moment became more heated, as Abbey stretched below his belt and stroked him. Jed softly moaned, at the touch she had perfected, and fondled one breast. It had almost doubled in size, in the course of motherhood. As if on cue, Elizabeth started to whine. "She sure knows how to pick her moment." Abbey rolled her eyes, and abandoned Jed's loosened belt to tend to the child. "Hello, baby," she reentered the nursery and sat on the wooden rock-a-bye chair her father-in-law had personally fashioned. She held Elizabeth to her chest, in order to breast-feed beneath the shirt Jed had pre-unbuttoned, and smoothed the fine hairs on top of her head.
Once Elizabeth was well-fed and resettled into her cot, Abbey returned to the nearby master bedroom, where her husband lay in wait. "She missed you, too." Jed declared, but his comment didn't warrant a reaction.
"She should sleep for a couple hours," Abbey exhaled. How she itched for the time when the baby would adapt to a routine and sleep until for the morn. "Which means we have all the time in the world."
"I like the way you think, but I'm pretty tired, and I have plenty of prep to do for Monday's lectures."
"It's only 9pm." She objected, but her husband appeared unmoved. "Jed?" He hummed, in response, as he busied himself in the en-suite in preparation for sleep. His lack of attention left Abbey disappointed that her husband shunned any hope of continuation after Elizabeth's interruption. She stripped off and momentarily paused, in the hopes he would find her irresistible but spied herself in the mirror and quickly slipped on the silk pyjamas her mother had purchased. Apparently, it was hopeless to wear risqué clothes in bed after the labour of a child, particularly the first. "Jed, do you still find me attractive?"
He frowned, his attention now all hers, "Abbey, of course I do."
Disbelief shaped her features, "You barely touch me anymore." Jed appeared from the en-suite, toothbrush in hand and a circle of toothpaste painted around his lips. She sensed him visibly search his mind for an escape route, and it only infuriated her more. "You know, when I had Elizabeth, I was under the impression that I would have to sacrifice my love of medicine, not our sex life."
The bite of her remark left Jed perplexed, like a man cast out to sea. He retreated, washed his face clean and reappeared with a towel to dry his face. "Abbey, you don't have to make any sacrifices -" She immediately attempted to back-track her comment, as she realised how irrational she must have sounded, but her throat clamped up. "Your career is equally as important as mine, and I apologise if I have ever given you the impression that the opposite is true."
His sincerity almost broke her heart. "God, Jed, you didn't." She enclosed her face in her hands and resisted the temptation to scream. "Before Elizabeth was born, I wasn't sure I wanted to be a parent. I wasn't sure I would know how to -" Abbey frowned, "Compromise. I was worried I would lose myself, that all my hard work would count for naught. You would be the successful one and I would be the -" she stopped short of the word 'failure'. "Trophy wife."
Jed stretched his arm behind her shoulders, "Abbey, you're a wonderful wife and mother and soon, you'll be a wonderful doctor, too."
"You mean, you don't expect me to settle?"
"I expect you to become the greatest physician the world has ever seen." He chuckled, half-serious, and Abbey let the relief wash over her at his words of reassurance. "If anyone's destined to be the trophy in this relationship, it's me."