Clove was fourteen when her mother died. Lung cancer. Smoking kills, apparently.
The ironic part was that Clove's mother hadn't smoked a cigarette in over twenty years. But disease always finds a way, and that's what happened. They thought she was going to make it, but after a month or so of smooth sailing, things escalated and became fatal. Nothing the doctors could do.
Her mother was a great person. Clove was always close with her, something that seemed fairly uncommon considering the fact that she was a teenager at the time. They shared the same love of psychology, and music from the 1950s–1960s, and Clove could talk to her mother about anything, any time. Even Clove's father was okay back then—a bit of a distant asshole, but decent nonetheless.
But after the death of her mother, her father took a turn for the worst. He drowned himself in alcohol, a sign of grief, according to every website and psychologist ever. Clove accepted it for a while, but eventually she began to realize that his drinking habit had become much more than just a coping mechanism. It had become an addiction, impossible to shake.
So, between her mother's lung cancer-induced death and her father's blatant alcoholism ever since, Clove has sworn herself off of smoking and drinking. Call her lame, but she's learned her lesson. She doesn't want to end up like either of her parents.
And that's how she finds herself sipping Sprite out of a solo cup on Friday night, crammed into Marvel's house with over a hundred other kids dancing their hearts out as some rap song with heavy bass thumps out from the speakers. It's the first party of the year, and everybody is here. Even some of the freshmen from the football and cheerleading teams have showed up.
Clove, contrary to what others may assume, actually enjoys parties. The fact that she doesn't drink adds a whole new entertainment factor as well, because she gets to watch as everybody else becomes progressively crazier and more drunk as the night goes on. Like Glimmer, for example, the biggest lightweight Clove knows.
Her friend is currently trapping Clove against her side, a tanned arm slung tightly around Clove's shoulder as she forcefully sways with her.
"Oh my god, I love this song!" Glimmer slurs, and a few of the people around them cheer.
Clove laughs, gripping Glimmer's wrist. "You literally told me last week that you hate this song."
"Clove, Clove, Clove," says Glimmer, finally releasing her and looking into her eyes. "I am very drunk right now, so we both know I don't mean like, anything I say or do." She hiccups. "So just let me live!" She elaborates on the last sentence by throwing one arm up in the air with a dazed grin, and Clove just about loses it from laughing so hard.
"Seriously, though," says Glimmer. "I do mean this, I really do, Clove. I think Madge's dress is so cute. I want it. Isn't it cute?"
Clove follows her friend's glassy gaze to spot Madge Undersee on the other side of the room, talking to Gale Hawthorne. The dress is cute—strapless, light blue denim with a fitted bodice and flowy skirt. Clove tells Glimmer the dress is cute, and Glimmer nods sagely.
"I'm gonna go say hi to them," Glimmer decides, and Clove shrugs.
"Just don't trip, please," she says, more to herself as Glimmer hobbles across the room in her heels.
Clove shakes her head with an exasperated smile, realizing that her drink is almost gone. She makes her way to the outdoor bar, dodging bodies as she goes. At one point a kid wraps an arm around her shoulder and asks her to dance, but she shrugs him off with a half-assed apology. When she finally makes it to the island on Marvel's stone patio, she's out of breath.
She refills her cup with Sprite, pouring it about halfway. As she's closing the bottle, she senses someone approaching. She turns to see Cato, somehow looking amazing in one of the most plain outfits she's ever seen—literally cargo shorts and a blue Polo.
God, she hates herself.
"How's the party animal?" Cato asks, standing beside her and topping his own drink off, rum and coke. It takes Clove a moment to realize that he's talking about Glimmer.
"Oh, she's fine," Clove says with a dismissive wave of her hand, leaning back against the bar. "She just had to go over and tell Madge how cute her dress is. She's such a sociable drunk."
Cato hums in agreement, mirroring her position and leaning against the bar himself, crossing his ankles. "You look good," he says suddenly, and Clove blinks.
"Oh. Thanks," she says, somewhat awkwardly. She didn't try overly hard tonight, throwing on a pair of denim shorts and tucking a loose, light purple camisole into the waistband. She didn't even curl her hair or anything, simply left it free of its usual braid.
Cato nods at her acknowledgment and she closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. Be natural, Clove. It's just Cato, for god's sake. "You look alright too, I guess," she says, keeping her voice light.
"Just alright?" Cato says, mocking offense. He suddenly leans in, close enough that she can smell some of the alcohol on his breath. "Clove, this is my best Polo. I got all dolled up!"
"Right, right," she says, trying to subtly back away. She doesn't want him getting too comfortable in his buzzed state. "How silly of me. You look so good, Cato."
"That's more like it," he says with an affirmative nod, holding her gaze for another moment before finally leaning away and resuming his earlier position against the bar. "You staying over here tonight?"
Clove nods. "Yeah, I think Glimmer and I are gonna take one of the guest bedrooms. She's obviously too drunk to drive home, I don't have practice tomorrow and my dad doesn't give two shits about what I do, so it makes more sense to just stay."
Cato nods. "Me, too," he says. "Sleepover."
"Sleepover," Clove agrees.
Cato says nothing for a few beats before he finally blurts out something that Clove does not expect to hear.
"I don't think Glimmer loves me."
Clove chokes on her drink, the carbonation burning her throat as it goes down the wrong way. She coughs, her eyes watering, and when she turns to Cato she can see that he's absolutely serious. "What?" she asks incredulously.
Cato shrugs. "I don't think Glimmer loves me," he repeats.
She doesn't really know how to respond to that. It's a total bombshell, completely out of left field. As far as Clove knew, Cato and Glimmer had a very healthy, stable relationship with barely any complications. Nothing that either of them have mentioned anyway, not until now.
"What makes you say that?" she asks tentatively, not sure if she even wants to know the answer.
Again, Cato shrugs, his gaze set straight ahead. His lack of eye contact concerns her. "I don't know. She just doesn't seem as into me anymore. Like, she's always busy when I want to hang out. And this is probably way too much information—but I'm your best friend and I'm legally obligated to tell you everything—but we haven't even had sex since the summer. Something just feels different."
Clove frowns, still trying to process what he's saying. "Do you… do you love her?" she asks, bracing herself for the inevitable, slightly-heartbreaking truth.
Cato doesn't answer her immediately. "Yeah," he says, and her heart drops a bit. But then he backtracks. "Well, I did. Do. No. I don't know, Clove. I loved her a whole lot when we first started out, but like I said, something feels different now. I don't know if what I'm feeling for Glimmer is love anymore. And I'm kinda terrified by that."
Clove nods. "Okay," she says.
"Is that all you're gonna say?" Cato asks, finally turning to face her again. She's caught off-guard by the pain and vulnerability in his eyes. "You're like, a total genius. You're in AP psychology and you're literally going to be a psychologist someday, and that's all you're going to tell me? Okay?"
"Well, I'm sorry that this is the first I'm hearing about this," she snaps, suddenly annoyed. Is he really getting angry with her right now? "I wasn't exactly aware that my two best friends are apparently falling out of love."
Cato sighs and runs a hand over his face. "I know," he groans, defeated. "I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be getting upset with you about this. I'm just… I'm kinda out of it right now. Alcohol and whatnot."
"You don't say," says Clove, the corner of her mouth twitching upward. She really just can't bring herself to stay angry with him.
Cato chuckles. "Damn, I probably don't even know what I'm saying right now," he says. "I think I'm more drunk than I thought I was."
"Maybe," says Clove, but she isn't convinced.
Cato nods. "Well, I think I'm gonna go," he says. "I need to kick Finnick's ass in pong. Wanna come watch?"
"I'll be there in a few," she promises. He beams—and boy, does that bring on a whole onslaught of butterflies—before pushing away from the bar, giving her a wave before heading toward the other guys, who cheer when they see him coming.
Once he's safely out of range, Clove lets the smile drop from her face. She's still trying to wrap her brain around what she just heard. Maybe it's true that he's drunk, and maybe it's true that he doesn't know what he's saying, but she can't help but remember the cliché quotation that she's found herself thinking about ever since her father turned to the bottle.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
After the party has died down and people have finally left, Clove finds herself cleaning up, picking crushed solo cups and empty bottles from the ground and from sticky surfaces. She's used to this type of cleanup.
Marvel is the least buzzed of the other three, so he's helping her as well. She wonders if he knows anything about what Cato told her not even two hours ago, but doesn't want to ask for fear of revealing something that she shouldn't. She fleetingly wonders what Glimmer and Cato are up to inside—if they're talking to each other, or on opposite sides of the house. She isn't sure which scenario would be better.
"I think this party was a success," says Marvel, holding a trash bag open for Clove to toss a cup into.
Clove nods, reaching for another cup. "Seems like it," she says. "I've never seen Finnick get so into cup pong before."
"I've never seen him that drunk before."
Clove snorts. "Oh, I know. Did you see Annie? She literally wanted to die the entire time."
Marvel laughs at that. "Oh my god, seriously. It must but fun for you, being like, the only sober one around."
Clove shrugs, chuckling. "You aren't wrong," she says. "I've got so many secrets and blackmail fodder, you have no idea."
"That is absolutely terrifying to hear, thanks."
Once they've finished cleaning up the yard, they meander inside. After finding Glimmer and Cato, who are sitting on opposite sides of the couch and very awkwardly quiet, the four decide that they're just too tired to do anything other than sleep. The boys head to Marvel's room, Cato volunteering to sleep on the floor, and Glimmer and Clove make their way to one of the many guest bedrooms just down the hall from Marvel's.
"Thanks for being my friend," Glimmer says tiredly as Clove helps take off her makeup. "I don't know anyone else who would help me get ready for bed when I'm drunk like this. You're a real one."
Clove laughs a little, playfully patting Glimmer's cheek. "It's what I'm here for," she says, standing up to change into a more comfortable tank top and athletic shorts, her go-to pajamas.
Glimmer hums appreciatively, standing on unsteady legs to change into her own pajamas as well. They're just settling into the queen bed when Glimmer speaks up.
"I have a secret."
Clove's arm freezes halfway to the bedside lamp. "Oh?" she says carefully. Could this be similar to what Cato told her?
"Yeah," says Glimmer. When Clove looks to her, she's lying on her back, hands folded over her stomach as she stares up at the ceiling. "It's just… I think…" she trails off, as if she's trying to decide how to word whatever it is that she wants to say. But instead she sighs, shaking her head. "You know what? Never mind," she says. "It's stupid."
Clove frowns and purses her lips. She wants to know what it is that Glimmer was going to tell her, but also knows not to pressure her into saying anything she isn't ready to. And so she turns off the light and slips further under the covers, pulling them up under her chin and turning to lie on her side. "Okay," she says.
She's met with silence, save for the steady rhythm of Glimmer's light snoring.
And the plot thickens! Didn't I tell you that the drama was coming?
What do we think of Cato's big reveal? And Glimmer's supposed secret? What does this mean for the other relationships in the story?
Anyway. I feel like I haven't shown nearly enough Marvel yet, so hopefully I'll be able to add him in some more since he and Clove are totally my brotp. I tried to add a bit of it in this chapter, but the central focus needed to be the growing turmoil in Glimmer and Cato's relationship. But I promise, more Marvel coming soon!
Don't forget to review! Reviews bring me happiness and motivation.
P.S. To close off this painfully-long AN, I created an ongoing Spotify playlist for this story if you want to check it out! My username is rxses_ and the playlist is titled "why don't you stay with me?" It's songs that I feel are fitting to the plot, or that'll be featured in the story, or both. So yeah, give it a listen if you want! It's a work in progress, so if you have any song suggestions of your own, feel free to send them this way!