***Disclaimer*** for creative purposes only, and I claim no ownership of the fandom, characters and setting. I do own a lot of cleaning products I have to use for my rent inspection but I've been too busy working on this (priorities :/ ).
A big thanks to the reviewers and followers, I did my best to get this out as soon as I could. I started writing it and deleted it all a couple of times, to be honest a lot of this chapter was set a couple of chapters later and it wasn't until I scrapped two chapters that I got into the flow and kept writing it. Then I realised I needed at least one scene instead of just mentions. And here it is, kind of three planned chapter smashed into one.
Okay so as I write this and plan to upload my internet has decided to play up, it has the worse timing, so I cannot comment personally to the reviews. Any non guest ones I will PM when I have the time, I know I really wanted to respond to some, there were some great ones with great comments and questions. There is an AN at the end that kind of addresses them vaguely. But even if I can't list people or be more specific because I will quickly upload this when I get a chance in case I have more internet problems, I want you to know I REALLY appreciate the comments. So a big thank you all. Hopefully this will be up soon. Enjoy.
Chapter Fifteen
They sat on the couch next to each other, her face resting lightly against his shoulder as their eyes stared into each other. Julian cupped Brooke's cheek, he had just finished kissing her, his heart was full "I love you, Brooke Davis"
As soon as the words were out Julian knew he had pushed Brooke too far, her whole expression changed, her usually open eyes suddenly had a wall between them, the first thing she did was slap his chest before moving so fast away from him he wondered if she got whiplash.
Brooke frowned which made her look even cuter to Julian, "why would you say that, you don't need to tell me that to get me into bed"
Julian laughed, "I'm saying it because it's what I feel, I am falling madly in love with you" he reached for her going in for another kiss but Brooke stood and quickly stepped backwards.
"I don't do that" she shook her head in shock, "I'm a mother for god's sake" she spat the words out as if they could protect her and Julian laughed more.
"What does that have to do with anything" he stopped laughing when he took note of her face, "Sorry I said anything, I didn't realise saying I love you was…" he seemed confused, "so wrong"
"You just caught me off guard"
"Okay, fine, I won't say I love you again even if I do in fact love you" he began to grin and Brooke cringed, her reaction was so over the top ridiculous Julian followed her with a smile as she tried leave the living room, he told her he loved her again and Brooke practically stamped her foot.
"Quit it!" she slammed her bedroom door between them and clicked the lock.
After twenty minutes of silence Brooke peeked her head out and slowly exited her room, barefoot she walked down the hallway and saw Julian sitting at the dining table on his laptop, "you're still here?"
"I didn't know you dated Ryan Reynolds" he answered.
Brooke quickly made it over to him, "where did you hear that?"
"It's this website, who dated who dot com, it lists everyone you've dated for the last five years"
"They can't do that!" Brooke yelled it outrage and went to close the laptop, Julian stopped her hand and moved the lap top away, Brooke looked over his shoulder, "but this is all wrong I never dated him, or met him" her head tilted, "yeah I would have dated her but no. Oh my god you cannot believe everything you read on the internet" she rolled her eyes.
"Yeah but even if you can believe half of it the sheer volume" he smiled at her, "wow!"
Brooke's mouth dropped, "okay" she quickly jumped over him and took the laptop, slamming it shut, "play time's over" she placed it behind her and protectively stood in front of the device, "why are you doing this?"
"Because I am trying to figure out why you got so freaked out by what I said"
"By examining my ex list? I dated a few guys in New York, so what?" she shrugged.
Julian stood, his eyes curious, "You weren't in love with any of them?"
She gave a little laugh, "I didn't have time for love okay, and even if I had Victoria would have never allowed it" Brooke licked her lips, "so there it is"
All traces of humour disappeared from Julian, "so the last time you were in love… now I get it" his voice lowered.
Brooke shrugged one shoulder and she folded her arms, "was a long time ago"
Julian turned around towards the small bookcase, Brooke stepped closer, "what are you doing?"
"If you have more than one copy of Lucas' book I am out of here" he was only half kidding, a quick surface look had Julian turning around.
Brooke stood meters away still with her arms folded, her hands hugging herself, "I am sorry if this is weird for you but you knew I have a past with Lucas"
"You still love him?" he asked it watching Brooke carefully.
Without blinking Brooke stared right at Julian, "No. I don't" the pause, the matter of fact emotionless way Brooke said it, the way her jaw tightened, all of it didn't settle well with Julian, the biggest thing he noticed was her eyes, they still had that wall over them.
"Yeah" he gulped, "that's what Peyton said"
Emotion flared back in Brooke, "First of all. Peyton fed me that story long before she told it to you, so I've been there. And second, I love her, but I'm not Peyton"
"I'm sorry but I have already been in a relationship that had the stench of Lucas Scott hanging over it"
"And how do you think I feel? I'm the girl who's dating the guy who came to town I the first place to get Peyton back while the father of my child is about to marry and have a baby with her"
"Okay, not exactly true but point taken"
Her brow kinked, Brooke stood her ground, "yeah, it sucks always being the footnote in someone else's love story"
"But you're right, you're not Peyton-" Julian smiled "- Their story is all about romance and destiny and fate, but you're different"
Brooke's brow kinked further, "um… thanks"
"I mean, Brooke Davis writes her own story like you did with your career and your company and Sam. You choose your own path"
"Yeah but you can't choose who you love."
"You're right. You don't. You can choose whether or not you open your heart to love" Julian's frustration began to show and Brooke helplessly defended herself.
"What do you want me to say?" she asked unable to give him what he wanted.
"How about, 'I love you too Julian'?"
Brooke dropped her arms, the wall dropping from her eyes and a hint of sadness and regret was there, "how about, I like you a lot… this is all happening really fast. We were meant to be taking it slow, having fun, and you know it's not that simple for me. I have Sam and Noah to think about"
Angry Julian shook his head "don't do that. Don't hide behind the kids"
"I'm not hiding"
"Yes, you are. You're a package deal and I knew that when I fell in love with you, Sam and Noah aren't an obstacle they're just two more reasons why I love you. You're an amazing mother, Brooke"
"This isn't so easy for me"
"Never let it be said that Brooke Davis is easy" he smiled sadly, "you know, you're not Peyton, and I'm not Lucas. And I don't know what you are waiting for but she's not going to come knocking on that door declaring her love for me-" Julian stopped suddenly as something flickered in Brooke's eyes. Stepping forward he went to touch Brooke, "is that what happened"
"It was a long time ago" Brooke sidestepped away from Julian's comforting touch and turned her back to him, her fingers gripped onto the cabinet behind her as she took a few hard breaths.
"In the book when you broke up with Lucas there was something missing, one minute everything was fine and then suddenly it was like… a bomb dropped and you just let him go"
"Julian" her tone told him to stop.
"She told you she was in love with him?"
Brooke turned around and he could see the truth in her eyes, "none of this matters"
"It matters if you keep protecting your heart so no one else can get in. I get it now, you were happy and then your best friend, one of the two people you loved most in the world, broke your heart"
"She didn't break my heart"
"Right. She ripped it out. I'm not going to do that" they stood facing each other.
Keys rattled in the lock and Sam walked in, followed by Victoria, "good day" the older woman greeted while Sam bounced her eyes between Julian and Brooke.
"We have to get ready for dinner" Brooke looked at Julian, he nodded.
Sounding cheerful Sam lifted a couple of shopping bags, "I've got some new crap-"
"I wouldn't call it crap" Victoria cut in, she eyed her daughter "we picked out something lovely that will suit your pale skin tone"
"Thanks" Brooke gritted out and left Julian to see her mother out.
Sam looked at him, her hands full, "did we interrupt something?"
With a smile Julian replied, "I can wait".
-x-
Arriving first at Nathan and Haley's house Lucas was welcomed warmly, Haley let the father and son in and quickly instructed Jamie to take Noah outside, both boys walked off dutifully and a slightly solemn Lucas followed Haley into the sitting room after a brief hug and kiss.
The two friends comfortably started talking but Haley could read the shadows in her brother-in-law's eyes, "where's Peyton?"
"She'll be here soon, she's at the studio" his mouth turned down.
Haley gave a kind smile, her voice echoed Lucas' worry "you don't sound happy about that"
The sigh that came from Lucas spoke volumes, a helplessness deep in it, Lucas shook his head and answered, "when she's not acting like her death is a foregone conclusion and practically planning her funeral Peyt is full steam ahead acting like nothing has changed. I just wish she would slow down a bit"
"She's scared, Luke"
"So am I but… never mind" he shook his head again and left his sentence unfinished, "how are you?"
"I think unemployment suits me" Haley grinned light-heartedly and cocked one shoulder, Lucas laughed, "It's nice actually, going back to my music, speaking of unemployment what are your plans?" and her tone turned cheeky.
"And back to me" Lucas turned around, "where's Nathan?" he changed the subject blatantly as he looked around for his brother. Haley grabbed Lucas by the arm, her mouth opened as she went to speak but was interrupted by the doorbell.
They went together, Haley dragging Lucas behind her, the loud voices of an arguing Sam and Brooke gave the next guests away. When the door opened the two brunettes were smiling widely, mouths closed, Julian behind them with a contrite expression on his face.
"Hi!" Brooke pushed forward and grabbed Haley in a tight hug, "save me from teenagers" she whispered in her friend's ear and then let go, "Luke" she nodded her head in his direction as greeting before walking inside the house.
Sam and Julian followed, the latter handed Haley a bottle of wine before giving Lucas' hand a shake.
From the direction of the back of the house Jamie and Noah appeared, they ran straight to Sam, Jamie grabbing the girl's hand while Noah stopped just before reaching her, both pleaded for her to come with them and she disappeared with the younger children.
"Oh, hi Noah, I missed you too" Brooke jokingly called after her son who was too far away to hear her, the other adults laugh.
Haley ushered everyone into the main living area and immediately poured everyone a glass of wine, "what's Sam done now?" Haley asked.
Brooke shivered, "she has hit an all-time low"
"Worse than stealing your ID?"
Brooke nodded, her eyes large, she shivered in disgust again unable to even say it, "she… likes Victoria"
Lucas almost spat out the sip he had just taken, "no one likes Victoria"
"Exactly!" Brooke's arms went up in the air, "they go shopping and meet for coffee, she never took me shopping" and then she looked directly at Lucas, "Noah even gets along with her. This is the woman who went to Milan instead of coming to my graduation, who… who… it's Victoria for God's sake!" her shoulders dropped, "when she said she was going to stay and be a… mother-" her lip curled up "- I gave her a week at most and she is still here"
Haley didn't know what to say, her words were hesitant, "that's… ah… nice"
"Is it?" Brooke seemed unsure too, "just because she finally remembers she's the parent and writes one letter to some judge that doesn't erase twenty- three years of neglect, god Luke you are so lucky yours is dying" the last comment was said in true Brooke Davis flippant style and though Lucas shared the same sentiment the frozen looks on the others faces had Brooke turning, her mouth dropped.
Not far away Nathan stood, Brooke's mouth dropped briefly, "Nate I am so sorry, I didn't mean it like that" she struggled to apologise.
Joining them Nathan wore a frown, "don't worry about it, I know what you mean" and he quickly grabbed a beer for himself. There was silence for a moment, Brooke placed a hand on Nathan's back and gave a quick rub before leaving it there.
"To us he's Dan, the epitome of bad dads, a murderer, but to Jamie he's just Grandpa Dan and for some reason he sees something in Dan that he loves"
"That boy has a big heart and Jamie's going to be alright because he has one of the best dads there is" Brooke smiled at her friend.
The silence that followed was filled with emotion as they all briefly thought of each other's heartache with their parents, Lucas thoughts went to Brooke as he watched her through his eyelashes and he lifted his head his dusky blue gaze soaking Brooke in while her attention was away from him. Brooke always wore her emotions in her sparkling eyes, it was one of the many reasons why Lucas found himself staring into her eyes so much. Lucas' vision cleared, the rest of the room came into focus and his eyes were drawn to Brooke's right and Lucas found himself being stared down by Julian who watched Lucas with a crease in his brow.
-x-
The doorbell rang again and Brooke immediately went to find the children doing her best to hold off seeing Peyton. It might have been very adult of them all to be here together breaking bread however Brooke wasn't completely comfortable at the prospect and was sure she wasn't the only one. She reached the backyard and saw Noah sitting in a tree, his eyes on the sky, and Brooke remembered why they were all there.
A hand touched Brooke's shoulder, she turned and smiled at Haley, the other woman smiled back and then yelled for the kids to come inside.
They all walked into the dining room together, more greetings were exchanged and Brooked did her best to smile at Peyton knowing what her old friend was going through and even if Peyton wasn't speaking to Brooke right now she knew the blonde will need her even if Peyton would not admit it.
The night was going well, as smoothly as it could with the undercurrents that ran between everyone. There were even a few laughs, the boys finished dinner first and were growing bored, Haley put a movie on for them and they ate dessert on the couches. Sam remained with the adults at the dining table as they all chattered and finished off the wine, Peyton wore a dark expression and a sad smile though did her best to participate.
Lucas grabbed Peyton's hand under the table and squeezed, Sam's voice had him lifting is head to the teenager, "sorry about your movie" she told him.
"That's alright, we had to cut so much it was barely my story anymore." Lucas shrugged, he slipped his hand from Peyton's and leant against the table.
"I finished your book"
"Sam!" Brooke groaned.
"You were my favourite character" Sam told her foster mother and then grinned at Lucas, "I thought the ending was a little lame"
"Uh… thanks" Lucas chuckled, "I emailed you my comments about your latest few chapters, it's great by the way"
"I know it"
Lucas saw the sparkle in her dark eyes and chuckling still he raised his brow at Brooke, "you sure she's not our secret kid too?" the comment slipped out without thought, he saw himself in the teenager and her heartfelt writing yet looking at those devious dark eyes and constant barbs Lucas saw Brooke in the girl she had taken on.
An odd air went around the table, Peyton straightened up, Lucas didn't understand why the comment made everyone uncomfortable after all Noah had been with them for so many months now he thought everyone had gotten use to the situation. It was simply fact that he shared a child with Brooke.
His joy subsided, Lucas' eyes narrowed further, "I look forward to the next bit"
Julian placed a hand over his heart "feeling a little hurt you ditched me for a basketball coach"
Sam placed a finger on her chin, "hmmm, who to get writing advice from published bestselling author or director? If you think about it…"
Nudging the teen next to him Julian rolled his eyes, "I get it"
"She is very talented" Lucas defended Sam and Haley nodded.
Julian was quick to comment, "and she knows it"
Sam took the compliments and then leant forward 0ver the table stretching her neck so she was as close as she could be to Lucas who sat down the other end on the opposite side, "you were only like nineteen when you got your novel published right?"
"Yes"
"That must have been cool" Sam hid how impressed she was but her next words had an excitement in them "what did you do when you found out? Like the first thing you did? I would be spending that advance"
Brooke coughed at the question and for a brief second Lucas eyes strayed to his ex, no one seemed to notice except Brooke who looked away and quickly finished the glass of wine in front of her.
"I uh called a friend, you know, share the good news" Lucas sat back.
Unaware of the emotions running turmoil inside her fiancé Peyton sat up showing interest, a smile on her face "I've never actually heard this story" she looked at Sam and then back to Lucas "That was just after we broke up. So, you called Haley before your Mom?"
Haley laughed, without thinking she spoke "no. I heard it third hand from Nathan who heard it from Deb who heard it from Karen. Then I called Lucas to yell at him, he was already in New York by that time celebrating with Br…" as soon as she started saying the name Haley started to rethink what she was saying but it was too late and with a hesitant pause Haley finished, "-ooke."
"I was living in New York back then" Brooke explained without looking at Lucas, "as I recall Lucas did a lot of complaining about Lindsey wanting to change his story"
"I don't remember that" Lucas looked to Brooke
"Free Champaign will do that" Nathan laughed and then he winced.
"Ready for dessert?" speaking fast Haley stood up from the table, Nathan gave her a strange look wondering why his wife has kicked him.
Peyton had become unusually silent, her eyes watching everyone at the table, Haley went around grabbing a few of the left over dirty dishes while Sam asked a few questioned about Lucas publishing his first novel, it wasn't until Haley was back with the cake for dessert that Peyton stood up and excused herself.
A moment after Peyton left Lucas followed her, Peyton was at the kitchen sink "hey, are you feeling okay?"
"You called Brooke first"
"She's my friend, I had to go to New York and she was there"
"That's it?" Peyton asked, "because sitting at that table I got the impression there's more to this story which I for someone reason I have never heard before, so is that all that happened?"
Lucas stood on the spot, he could hear the quiet outrage in Peyton and straight away wanted to go on the defensive "we weren't together at the time"
"Not the question I asked!" Peyton's voice raised.
"We got drunk, we kissed, that's all." Lucas just got it out, "It doesn't matter, Peyton, this was over four years ago"
"If that's all why am I just hearing about it now"
"Because we didn't talk for three years! When do I say oh by the way Peyton after we broke up I saw Brooke this one time and one thing led to another and I kissed her"
I kissed her. The words went around Peyton's head, she placed a hand on her stomach, hormones were racing through her and Peyton had to fight not to cry. Perhaps if she was not pregnant she could think clearly, perhaps if she wasn't already holding anger towards Brooke inside her then Peyton wouldn't be so upset or angry over a kiss from four years ago.
In the dining room the others sat, Peyton and Lucas' voices carrying in. Sam let out a deep breath, "and I thought what happened in the book was dramatic" the teen whispered.
Peyton held the bridge of her nose between her fingers, "okay, is there anything else I should know?"
"What? Between Brooke and me? No, of course not"
"Right" she glared at him, "don't joke about having more kids with her"
"Okay. I am sorry for that"
Her hand lifted to stop him, Peyton shook her head and went back to join the table. Together they all quietly ate their dessert, slowly conversation began again, and soon Sam left them to join the boys and the adults went outside for some fresh air.
The sun had not set yet, Nathan asked Lucas if he wanted a quick game and Lucas then asked Julian, "I'll pass" Julian shook his head.
Brooke cuddled against Julian and the other men went to start the game, Peyton saw the smile on Brooke's face and watched as Julian placed a kiss on Brooke's cheek.
"Haley" Peyton turned to Haley, "I've been meaning to ask you, would you be my maid of honour?"
The question shocked Haley, she sent Brooke a quick look and the brunette lowered her eyes, Haley tried to smile "of course" and they hugged. It was an awkward moment because they all were aware Peyton had previously asked Brooke before Noah's existence came out.
Still angry Peyton then began to talk about the new wedding dress she had picked out, Brooke snapped, "I know you're going through a lot but you don't have to be such a bitch"
Peyton laughed, "me a bitch? I'm sorry. You're the one who lied about being pregnant and then waited six years to tell us, called me a backstabbing bitch but got Lucas drunk and made your move, just like you did with Nathan" her words weren't quiet.
Just about to start their game Nathan and Lucas stopped, their attention drawn to the deck.
"Excuse me. I never made a move on Lucas when he was with you, contrary to what you believe you don't own Luke, Peyton, you don't get to own his every second of his life. You were never together when anything ever happened between Lucas and me. Not in high school and not after, and don't throw Nathan at me. You dumped him as well and yes what I did was a shitty thing but I never ever went after any one of your boyfriends so DON'T try to make yourself feel better about what you did by acting like I ever did the same thing" Brooke's face was red.
"At least I'm not a lying slut"
"You should be thanking me for being a 'lying slut' because it got you here" Brooke used air quotes, "you have Lucas, you are having his baby and wearing his ring, why are you so angry? This isn't a competition but you won Peyton, you won!"
"I should thank you, for what? For lying? For waiting until we were having our first child and then telling us about your kid"
"I had no choice, I had to tell Lucas then. Would it have been better for you back in high school? I didn't have to break up with Lucas, I didn't have to say no to him in that hotel room in New York when he kissed me and asked me to stay, so yeah maybe you should thank me Peyton for stepping out of your way, not that me being there ever stopped you anyway"
Nathan and Lucas reached them, "this isn't helping anyone" Lucas tried to say but his voice went unheard.
With two steps Peyton had moved closer to Brooke, "Like I believe anything you have to say, you got lucky it was Luke who actaully knocked you up with the way you slutted around"
Brooke almost slapped Peyton but she held back remembering Peyton was indeed pregnant, Lucas grabbed Peyton's hand, "Peyton!" he yelled in disapproval.
At the same time Julian stepped in front of his girlfriend, "don't, don't talk to her like that"
"You think she actually cares about you?" Peyton turned her attention to Julian, "or is she with you just to get back at me?"
"Peyton stop" Lucas hissed.
Julian stopped Brooke from holding him back, "despite your behaviour, both now and in the past, you're better than this, Peyton. Don't yell at Brooke when she has done nothing to you, she didn't get herself pregnant"
"She's got you wrapped around her finger too, Saint Brooke she's not"
Julian shook his head, "have some respect Peyton, you're the last person who should speak"
"Julian stay out of it" Lucas turned his anger onto Julian.
"She called Brooke a lying slut" Julian gave Lucas a withering look and then sent Peyton a glare, "you sit on your high horse judging Brooke for having consensual relationships with single men as if that's some crime meanwhile you had no problem telling Brooke you were in love with Lucas when she was still with him"
Peyton's jaw dropped, she stumbled on her words, Brooke closed her eyes, and Lucas looked between Julian and Peyton, then Brooke and then Peyton again.
Voice commanding Lucas gently pulled Peyton to his side, "we're going. Sorry everyone" and he left with a silently fuming Peyton.
In a whisper Brooke sighed, "Julian"
"Somebody had to stop her"
"I was doing fine by myself"
"That's the point, you shouldn't have to defend yourself"
Haley was still slightly shocked, "he's right Brooke, that should not have happened. Peyton was out of line"
"She's just scared at the moment" Brooke defended Peyton despite the fight they just had, "I should have ignored her. I started it".
Caught between two good friends Nathan wasn't happy, "she still shouldn't have said what she did. Julian's right Brooke, you haven't done anything to Peyton"
"Calling her a bitch was probably not a good start though" Haley joked.
Turning back into her normal cheery self, Brooke scrunched her nose up, "but kind of true" she smacked her lips, "and on that note-" she playfully slapped Julian's chest "- we should probably go home".
-x-
The car ride home was silent, both fuming, Peyton and Lucas entered their home with tight expressions. Peyton threw her purse down and Lucas closed the door with slightly more force than needed.
Ready for a conversation Peyton was shocked when Lucas walked by her without looking in her direction, Peyton followed, "Luke?"
"Not now Peyton, let's just get ready for bed" and he disappeared to have a shower, Peyton waited a minute and then went to join him. Naked she stepped in and wrapped her arms around Lucas, her large baby bump resting against Lucas' back.
A large sigh came from him, Lucas let the warm water run over them, Peyton then began to wash Lucas and after a few minutes he took over and then helped Peyton. More relaxed Peyton went to kiss Lucas but he shifted his body and left the shower and grabbed his towel.
When the two of them slipped into bed Peyton couldn't bare the distance between them, "do you have something to say?"
"Trust me, Peyton, you don't want to do this now"
"Do what?" she grabbed his pillow from under him, "I am so angry at you!" her anger was quiet, she sounded as if she was talking about what to have for breakfast.
Lucas snatched the pillow back, "I'm furious with you. I have told you time and time again not to make trouble with Brooke and yet you couldn't help yourself"
"This is my fault? Why are you always defending Brooke? I'm the one wearing your ring!"
Lucas swore, "that doesn't give you a pass to do what ever you like, Brooke is our friend, she is my son's mother and has never done anything to you. She did this to me, to me, Peyton, not you"
"She couldn't even wait a week to try to get you into bed after we broke up!"
"No" Lucas jumped from the bed, "She didn't, she was a good friend to me that night and was exactly what I needed, she got me to that room safe and when I was stupid she left me there alone. Brooke showed us the utmost respect that night, as she has continued to conduct herself ever since. Yell at me not her"
"She called me a bitch" Peyton spat, her anger growing at Lucas.
Lucas tsked, "and what did you do for her to say that?"
Shocked Peyton gaped at Lucas, she watched her fiancé pace the room, he stopped, Lucas faced the door but he tilted his head to look slightly at Peyton, his hand running through his hair, "what did Julian mean when he said you told Brooke you were in love with me while she was with me?"
Watching him Peyton rolled her eyes and gave a mocking laugh, "Julian doesn't know what he is talking about"
"So why don't you explain it to me"
"Like you said before it was over four years ago" Peyton's eyes grew wider, "I didn't want a repeat of our junior year so I told Brooke the truth, I was and am in love with you"
"When was this?" he turned to look at her not sure why he wanted to know, not sure what good it would do after so many years.
Peyton looked away, "after Nathan and Haley's rehearsal dinner"
"That's why you two were fighting?" Lucas closed his eyes, "that's why she broke up with me"
"No, no, no. Brooke told you why she ended it she said it wasn't because of me"
Laughing Lucas couldn't believe how naïve Peyton was being, "and you believe that? I didn't. That's why I came to you and poured my heart out and you said nothing"
"Need I remind you what you wrote, everything else was a denial of the truth I was and would always be in love with Peyton Sawyer"
"I do love you Peyton, I chose you, I want to make a life with you but that doesn't mean I didn't deserve the truth"
"Right" Peyton scoffed, "because I'm the one who lied to you"
"Just because Brooke did something wrong doesn't mean that you haven't"
"You're not innocent in any of this" her voice was eerily calm next to Lucas' reserved anger.
"Is it my fault you never told me? I can understand why you confessed your feelings to Brooke what I don't understand is why I am finding out about it over five years later instead of back then when it mattered"
"Like you said it doesn't matter now" she sounded exasperated.
Lucas looked confused, "but a kiss from years ago does matter?"
Sitting on her knees on the bed Peyton rubbed her stomach, shaking her head without even realising it, "it's not the same thing. It's not the same thing at all"
"You're right because you lied straight to my face" Lucas said it slowly.
"And you tried to fuck my best friend"
His face repelled, "it wasn't like that"
"What was it like then? One day you're asking me to marry you and the next you're in a hotel room with Brooke" she said it with disgust, her eyes narrowed and her chin lifted.
"Peyton-"
"Don't Peyton me. What would have happened Luke if Brooke hadn't said no?" she held in the scoff knowing the answer, Lucas said nothing and Peyton sent him a sad smile "I thought so"
"This was four years ago, I was drunk and heartbroken if you remember"
Her voice begun to rise, Peyton hugged her belly "so you decided that Brooke would make you feel better? How should I feel about this especially now that I have Noah as a constant reminder that you two were together, why didn't you tell me about New York, why was it Brooke you called when you found out about your book, why was she even a consideration while you were sitting at the airport before you called me and asked me to marry you? That wasn't four years ago, Lucas. This isn't just some ex, that's meant to be my best friend" she sighed "the mother of your child" it all hit Peyton again. Her body fell against the bed, tears falling from her eyes "I just… I just can't deal with this right now"
"I know, I know" Lucas returned to the bed and covered Peyton's hand with his own, "you have so many emotions going on right now, I knew we shouldn't have started this. I'm hurting too Peyton but I need you to be honest with me, don't attack Brooke, you don't need to worry about that. I am here for you and our baby" he covered her stomach, "and nobody is going to go anywhere. We will get through this, I will take care of you both"
"I can't handle any more surprises"
Lucas let his anger go, he had to focus on the present and the future not the past, in another time he could let his anger simmer but Lucas knew he had to forgive Peyton in the same way he forgave Brooke, for his children's sake.
He softened his tone, "we need to listen to the doctor, you need to rest, stay away from stress. Let Haley take care of Red Bedroom and I will take care of you"
"I'm sorry, I am so sorry, I don't know what got into me" still crying Peyton buried her head against Lucas, and in that moment the two of them forgot about all the words left unsaid.
-x-
Without complaint Julian carried a sleeping Noah into his bedroom and watched as Brooke covered the boy with his blankets and gently kissed Noah's forehead. Sam said goodnight as Brooke walked Julian outside, alone they stopped at his car.
"Thanks for earlier, I do appreciate everything you do"
He smiled, "I love you, I would do anything for you"
The words had Brooke's lashes flicker down as she hid her expression, "Julian… this is too fast. I appreciate how great you have been but I am not ready for love"
"I think you do love me or you could love me but you're too stubborn to admit it because you're afraid of getting hurt again. I'm just asking you to open your heart to the possibly of love… preferably with me"
"The movies finished" Brooke said instead, "you're leaving Tree Hill"
Eyes staring at her Julian put on his best charming grin, "give me a reason to stay" his grin grew more, "or come with me. I can be a father to Sam and be there for Noah, you can have it all"
"I can't go, everything I care about is here and I can't ask you to stay" she shook her head, "not when I can't say the words back"
"So that's it?"
Brooke's lips parted, she looked up to the skies for an answer, "I can't choose the way I feel, I care about you. Too much to ask you to wait for me to be ready"
"You're going to let someone else into that heart of yours again one day Brooke Davis" he promised and gave a sad smile, "I guess that day is just not today"
"I'm sorry"
To Brooke's surprise Julian gave her one last kiss, "when you are ready, remember me" he whispered, "this isn't goodbye" and with that promise Julian drove away. On the curb Brooke gave a wave, "goodbye, Julian" deep down the brunette knew she would never see the producer again. And she never did.
-x-
Thanks for reading. Please review and follow.
I know this chapter was very dialogue heavy, hope it flowed alright. I'm a bit of a talker so I worry that when I get going on the characters talking my own tendencies come through too much. It's very back and forward and sometimes short but that's how I view these conversations happening so details sometimes disappear between the yelling.
I really enjoyed the feedback I have been getting I loved hearing peoples thoughts and where they see it going, what they like, what they think is off. Not that I always agree. There is an outline for this story and it is not short (think over the course of years in the timeline) and though there will be some significant time jumps nothing is happening overnight. Needless to say some readers will like the choices I make and others would prefer something else, I really put thought it what was going to happen and the timing of it all and settled on my plan. Some things you guys are really going to hate (sorry in advice) but things just need to run the course so when you think NOOOO WHY just hold your breath and trust me there are reasons, though you still may hate me lol. Peyton isn't just going to disappear in a puff of smoke (ooh will she die…. Or won't she, I won't spoil) but whatever happens BL are end game, sorry for anyone who is still reading and thinks there's a chance this LP is endgame, ah no, I am rewriting season 6 for a reason. But I'm not going to just have Lucas abandon his family, I think Lucas would do anything to not be the bad guy, to not abandon his pregnant fiancée. He's not going to think damn I still like Brooke here's my chance and ignore the fact he made a commitment to Peyton and they are expecting a child. He is torn and going to do his best to be there for everyone and this is not the time to be leaving anyone. He forgave Brooke and stood by her side for Noah's sake and because he cares about Brooke, he is not trying to do the same thing with Peyton for the same reason.
On the plus side, Julian is gone! He isn't coming back. So feel free to dance along to another one bites the dust.
Mickei