***Disclaimer*** for creative purposes only, and I claim no ownership of the fandom, characters and setting. I do however own may too many coffee mugs for a person who doesn't drink hot drinks.

Firstly I apologise for the late update, it's one of those times I couldn't help it. My son spent a night at his father's so I've dedicated the last 20 hours to this chapter every free second that I could and will do my best to post the next chapter earlier than my two week deadline, perhaps if I get a good response I will kick my own butt to get the next update on here within a week.

I would like to thank everyone for their reviews, thanks to the guests as well as breathbrooklove, salazarjasam, boblina, noah, n'íthoughtiwascrazy, new to brooke, lucasbrooke, lileen, k-pixy, bjq, notrob, diane, clavyus and callison. You guys rock.

Chapter Seventeen

Glasses covering half her face Brooke stood discretely behind a tree, or that was what she told herself half hidden peeking from behind the trunk.

"Brooke?"

She winced and slowly turned around, "hi, Luke" she tried to look casual but he stared at her oddly.

"Everything okay?"

"Sure, why wouldn't it be" she looked around, "I'm just… taking a walk, it's such a beautiful day"

"Yes, it is" he walked up next to her and looked in the direction she had been staring, "so who are we spying on?"

"Me" she pointed to herself and laughed, "spy? I am just taking in the view" her smile dropped when he raised his brow at her, "fine. I'm watching Sam, she's with her birth mother again and I am just…"

"Watching?" he smiled and then laughed when Brooke pouted and glanced back in Sam's direction.

"She looks happy right but not too happy?"

"Sure" Lucas tilted his head and saw Sam throw her head back and laugh, "the perfect amount of happy"

"I know she's happy with me" Brooke nodded her eyes staying on Sam and Rebecca, Lucas narrowed his eyes as he watched Brooke.

"Sam adores you"

"Of course she does, what's not to adore? It's just she's spending more and more time with Rebecca. I wish I could hate her but she's so damn nice and reminds me so much of Sam"

"Sounds horrible"

Brooke slapped Lucas' chest with the back of her hand, "shut up"

He laughed happy that he could distract Brooke, "where's Noah?"

"With my mother"

"That sounds like a blast" he slowly started walking down the street, his hands going into his pockets, and without even realising it Brooke walked by his side as they talked, "how is Noah feeling about the trip?"

"I have no idea, I can't tell if he's excited or nervous or just… fine with it. I think he's okay, as if performing in front of hundreds of people doesn't bother him at all"

Lucas nodded, "I for one am excited, to see Noah up there-"

"Yeah" Brooke looked back briefly, she sighed and put thoughts of Sam behind her, "he is going to look so cute in his little suit"

For a few metres they didn't talk, they walked in step with each other, both thinking silently. Lucas spoke first, "I talked to Nathan, he is going to pick you guys up first then swing by and grab me"

"I wish they could come too"

Lucas shrugged, "Nathan has training"

"I know" Brooke stopped, "I should probably go to my car and drive back to pick Sam up as if I didn't just park around the corner"

"Right" Lucas chuckled and lifted one hand from his pockets to wave goodbye at Brooke, "I'll see you tomorrow"

"Take care, Luke"

"You too" he stood watching her walk back in the opposite direction, her hair glowing in the sunlight.

Brooke walked straight by the tree he'd found her hiding behind and kept walking, he watched until she turned the corner and then Lucas continued walking down the street. It was a familiar route he took, enjoying the summer morning and when he eventually reached the river court Lucas was greeted by a jumping Jamie and Drey and a smiling Nathan. The brother's shared a one-armed hug and Lucas stole the ball from Jamie, dribbling it down the court before Nathan ran and took it from him.

The younger brother slam dunked the ball and then bounced it back to Lucas, "how you doing?"

"Good. You?"

"Yeah. Peyton?"

"Bored crazy" Lucas scored and stepped back as Nathan caught the basketball before it hit the ground.

Wanting to be involved the boys ran around Nathan and Lucas, giving up the ball Nathan and Lucas walked to the side of the court to take a seat while Jamie and Drey played.

Avoiding his brother's eyes Nathan asked another question, "ready for New York?"

"It's next week"

"Not what I'm talking about. You ready to be going away with Brooke, just the two of you alone, in the same place as five years ago?"

"We won't be alone" Lucas scoffed.

Nathan shook his head, "I don't know man, Hales thinks this is a bad idea. You are meant to be putting space between you and Brooke"

"And I am but I can't avoid everything to do with Noah to avoid being in the same room as Brooke"

"There's a difference between the same room and the same hotel room" Nathan eyed Lucas, "need I remind you of your history with Brooke and hotel rooms"

"I don't know Nate; do you avoid Taylor at all family events?" Lucas threw back.

Not taking the bait Nathan smiled, "the difference is Taylor and I were never in love"

"You want to come be our chaperone, hold our hands, bring a measuring tape and make sure we always have two feet between us?"

"Sorry Luke" Nathan let the conversation end and nodded towards the court and the boys, they both stood and they joined the game. Nathan didn't bring up the trip again.

-x-

Once they were home Brooke felt her phone vibrating, "I have to get this" she walked by Noah, touching his shoulder briefly before escaping to her room and closing the door.

When Brooke ended the call she stared at the wall, her heart thumping, there was a knock and the door opened. Victoria walked in, "is everything alright, darling?"

"You're the last person I want to talk to right now" Brooke didn't look at her mother, she flung her phone onto the bed. No.

The door clicked shut though Victoria walked closer to Brooke, "I can tell that you're upset"

"You have avoided being my mother my whole life, don't think you can walk in and start now. For the children's sake I'm allowing you to stay around but if I need a shoulder to cry on there are a million people I will turn to before I even look in your direction" Brooke turned her head to the side, Victoria saw no tears yet Brooke's face was pale and her eyes were glassed over.

"I don't see anyone else here"

Brooke slowly turned around, "that was Carine, I had asked about adopting Sam"

"Well?"

"Rebecca would have to agree to it… and she's already asked to have Sam back" Brooke chocked back the tears, she refused to let one single stray tear drop especially in front of Victoria.

"I see how much you care about that girl and how much she loves you, she loves you not some woman she just met" Victoria reassured Brooke.

The feelings that were inside of Brooke were not those of reassurance, Brooke was nervous and worried, she could see her plans slipping between her fingers.

Brooke knew what she wanted, she was just no longer so sure what Sam wanted anymore.

Victoria tried to comfort Brooke though as soon as the older woman went to touch her Brooke side stepped, shaking her shoulder away from her mother. It was hard for Brooke to feel the touch of her mother when she was upset, to seek the woman's comfort, it was something Brooke had never received when she was younger and it made it that much harder to be vulnerable around Victoria.

Never having seen her mother cry Brooke had often wondered if Victoria was even capable of such emotion.

"It's out of my hands" to the best of her ability Brooke acted strong, she lifted her chin and straightened her shoulders. Inside her heart recoiled, a part of her going over everything she could do and Brooke knew nothing would be clear until she spoke to Sam.

Without blinking Brooke stepped around Victoria and left the room, putting on her smile when she joined the children, willing her face not to betray her.

There was a blush to her face but other than that her emotions were hidden for anyone looking, when she spoke her voice was huskier, "what's everyone's plans?"

"Is it alright if Jack comes over?" Sam's eyes were hopeful and Brooke nodded.

"Sure, keep your door open though"

"Yeah, yeah" Sam rolled her eyes and quickly ran upstairs, Brooke turned to Noah and kinked her brow in question.

"I was planning on doing some reading" at the words Brooke's face slightly fell and Noah licked his lips, looking into his mother's eyes the boy added on "or you could help me with my stars?"

Brooke's face lit up, "I would love to help" she paused for a moment, "what stars are we talking about?"

Victoria watched, worry etched on her face, "Brooke-"

"Thanks for staying with Noah, we're good here now" Brooke interrupted cutting her mother's words off.

With a nod Victoria farewelled them promising to see her tomorrow, with Victoria gone Brooke turned her attention to Noah "where were we?"

"My stars" Noah answered, slowly walking to his bedroom with expectation that Brooke would follow, she did so and entered the boy's room to see Noah looking up at his roof where Brooke had randomly placed all the glow in the dark stars.

Noah shook his head, his lips puckered in thought, "it's all wrong".

-x-

It was late in the afternoon when Lucas returned home, his hands full, he was surprised to see Peyton standing in the kitchen, "hi" she smiled at him.

"You okay?" he asked, placing his bags down. Both their eyes gave away the tell-tale signs of lack of sleep.

Peyton shrugged, "I'm fine. You didn't need to send Skills to babysit me" she sent him a sharp look and Lucas held her gaze.

Not replying Lucas instead eventually picked his bags up and started walking towards the nursery, Peyton began to follow, "you went shopping?"

"Yeah"

"What did you buy for the baby?"

Lucas closed his eyes knowing Peyton couldn't see him, he walked into the bedroom and placed the bags down, "I wasn't shopping for the baby. Noah's birthday is coming up, we've started to get supplies for his party and I got him a few gifts"

"Oh" Peyton eyed the bags and boxes, "what did we get him?"

"I saw a telescope, I thought he would like that" Lucas turned to face Peyton, "I did have a look at a few things though… for the baby, I tried a few prams that you said you liked and checked out car seats, added things to our list" he shrugged.

Peyton looked away from him, her arms folded, she glanced around the unfinished nursery, "you need to clean the nursery, finish the furniture" and she turned around to leave.

With a sigh Lucas moved all the things for Noah to one side and decided that he had no better time than now to do as Peyton said.

-x-

It was weighing on Brooke's mind all afternoon, when Jack's foster father came and collected him Brooke waited ten minutes before going up to see Sam.

The teenager was sitting at her desk, her back to the door, her eyes focused on something in her hand, "hey what you got there?" Brooke asked from the doorway, Sam tuned her head to smile at Brooke and the older woman walked in to join Sam.

Placing the photo down Sam's voice was different to usual "my… uh… Rebecca gave it to me, it's her house" she gave a lopsided smile, "I always wanted a white picket fence"

Brooke rested her cheek against the top of Sam's soft head, "we can have a picket fence if you want one" Brooke whispered, "anything you want you just have to ask"

"I know" Sam's eyes were still on the photo.

Something inside Brooke flipped over, "you're happy hear right?"

Sam frantically turned around, wide eyes looked at Brooke, "of course… I…. I love it here, you've done so much for me, you've done everything" and she hugged Brooke.

Brooke gently pulled away, her hands still on Sam, "are things going… good with Rebecca?"

"Yeah" Sam nodded, "is that okay?"

"Of course, it is" it hurt Brooke to say it but it was true, she smiled "as long as you're happy. I worry about you that's all" she lifted Sam's hair and brushed it away from the girl's face, "never be worried about telling me how you feel though"

"She was just my age when she gave me up, you know, she didn't want to but her parents made her do it" there was a sheen in Sam's eyes.

Brooke nodded, she thought back to when she was seventeen and seven months pregnant crying in a strange bed as her parents argued about her in the other room, and then she thought about the feeling in her heart when she was able to hold Noah for the first time over six years after the day she thought she was saying goodbye.

"Whenever you want to see her you can, we can figure something out"

"You won't hate me if I want to see my real mom?"

Brooke was taken aback, not just that Sam was worried about how Brooke would feel about her but at Sam calling Rebecca her real mom. In that moment Brooke knew that no piece of paper would ever make her Sam's mom.

She smiled, "I will never, could never, hate you. I love you, Sam, and no matter what happens you will always be a part of this family" Brooke carefully picked up the photo of Rebecca's house, "no matter where you call home"

"This is home" Sam told Brooke but there was a crack in her voice, her eyes strayed to the photo.

Brooke went to sit on Sam's bed and patted the spot next to her, Sam obediently walked over and sat next to Brooke.

"A part of me wants to hate Rebecca and hold you tight and never let you go, to scream that she let you go, but I can't hate her" Brooke touched Sam's hair with a smile, "because she's a part of you and in a way she's part of me. I've been her."

Sam licked her lips and Brooke continued, "I want you to know that I love you and I want to be your mother, I talked to Carine about officially adopting you. You will always have a home under my roof for as long as you live but more than anything I just want you to be as happy as you can be, safe and loved. And if you need to find your home elsewhere then I'll support you and I'll let you go to it with a smile and I'll be here whenever you need me, for however long you do"

"Why are you so good to me?"

"Because I love you. Whatever you choose, nothing will change that" inside her heart was breaking but there was also a calmness, a knowing that she was doing what was best for her child because no matter what Sam chose the girl would always be one of Brooke's children.

-x-

At ten in the morning Lucas arrived at Brooke's, the engine was still running when Brooke's front door opened and Noah came running down the steps.

Brooke waited by the door, watching their son until he was at the car, Lucas stepped out and opened the door for Noah turning back to Brooke to wave as he hopped back in the driver's seat. Noah waved to his mother as they back up and Lucas gave a honk of his horn before driving off, Brooke stood for a moment before going back inside.

Eyes back focused on the road Lucas addressed Noah with a smile in his tone, "do you still want to go to the library today?"

"Yes, please."

During the holidays Lucas and Brooke had found that Noah got exhausted from all the back and forth between his parents, they had quickly decided that during the week Lucas would spend a few hours with Noah every second day but it was usually no more than four hours, so the boy had down time at home to do as he pleased, usually spending the time to himself in his room, yet still spent time with his father.

Once a week Lucas would take Noah to the library, another day they went for a nature walk, one day Noah got to choose whatever he wanted to do with Lucas and on the weekends when Lucas had Noah for the whole day Lucas usually spent the morning playing various board games or video games at home with Noah and after lunch they would go visit Nathan and Haley where Noah would practice on the piano and swim, later they'd go together to the river court and have dinner before the sun set and Lucas would take Noah home to Brooke.

Noah appreciated the quiet times with his father and the comfortable walks they took. At first he had found his father very emotional and overwhelming though as the weeks had turned to months Lucas' expectations had dropped and Noah found his father very calm and relaxing. Lucas didn't mind the time they spent together if Noah was silent or thinking and the boy discovered when they did talk his father was a good listener and always gave thoughtful responses.

The library was one of Noah's favourite places, he liked how quiet and peaceful it was, Lucas always took his time finding a book as well and Noah never felt rushed. He could spend a whole day going through the books, getting lost in the information and the smell of the pages.

There was small table with two chairs under the window that Noah loved the best, it was always warm and away from the busier section of the library. Lucas would even leave Noah alone sometimes for ten minutes as he went looking for books, safe in the knowledge he would find Noah still at the same table.

The two of them sat at the table, each with a book, Noah sent a small smile to his father as they sat opposite each other, their movements oddly similar as they opened their books. Lucas smiled back, he loved Noah's smile, not just because it reminded Lucas of Brooke but because every smile Noah gave no matter how slight showed how far Noah had come.

The six-year-old was making attachments, he was not only growing comfortable with other people it seemed to Lucas that Noah was growing more comfortable in himself.

Lucas checked what book Noah was reading and noticed it was an astrology book, he smiled inside his mind and flipped through his baby name book.

Five minutes later Noah's nose lifted as he tried to look at Lucas' book, "baby names" Lucas told Noah, "any ideas?"

"Ariadne" Noah was quick to say, Lucas laughed thinking about Noah's research into Greek mythology, and then Noah added on "or Henry"

The differences between the names had Lucas curious, "why those names?"

"I like the sound of them" Noah shrugged.

"Me too"

They both smiled again and Noah went back to his book. Lucas stopped looking at names and watched Noah, it was the little things that amazed Lucas.

-x-

As soon as Carine left the house Brooke wrapped an arm around Sam, despite how inside a hole was slowly widening inside her, Brooke's thoughts were on how Sam was coping with everything. Carine had been supportive, it wasn't as easy as Rebecca asking to have Sam and Brooke knew that with everything she went through to get Noah back. Carine had been positive, Rebecca was ticking all the right boxes.

"How are you feeling?"

"I don't know" Sam's big brown eyes looked shocked, "excited, nervous… scared" she shook her head, "what if this doesn't work, what if I move in with her and she is like a crazy cat lady or something?"

"Does she… talk about cats?" Brooke asked slowly, her brows narrowing.

Sam sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, "well, no" and they both rolled their eyes. Brooke hugged Sam to her side, Sam leant against her foster mother once again feeling so torn, "what if she hates me"

"That's impossible" Brooke quickly kissed Sam, "but FYI, you might want to try to avoid stealing her ID or throwing parties at her workplace or trashing her stuff-"

With a huff Sam sent Brooke a glare, "I get it"

"She is going to love you and every… well nearly every minute she spends with you" and she hugged Sam tighter to her side.

Every minute she had left with Sam was a moment Brooke was going to treasure, neither knew yet when that last moment would be.

The deepest part of Brooke secretly hoped that Sam would choose to return to her, it was a selfish desire and Brooke was well aware of it, the rest of her wanted Sam to be as happy as she could be and Brooke also felt for Rebecca. Second chances weren't offered to everyone, they were both two mothers able to have a second chance with the child they let go of.

Half an hour later Brooke was making the two of them a coffee when there was a knock on the door, Brooke checked the time wondering if Lucas was already back with Noah but there was still at least an hour before she expected them.

Sam was the one who answered the door, she opened it with a barely there smile and then her smile dropped further. Not knowing what to say Sam stayed silent, Brooke saw the teenager freeze and quickly went to check on her.

As the space in front f the teen came into view Brooke tensed herself, she sent Sam a look and Sam nodded as she left to go upstairs to leave Brooke alone with her guest.

"Hi" Brooke kept a hand on the door ready to close it, "what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you" Peyton didn't outwardly appear nervous however Brooke knew Peyton well enough that she could recognise the tell-tale signs. What Brooke didn't see in Peyton was any anger, something had changed in Peyton.

Still with a sigh Brooke stepped slightly behind her door, placing a barrier between them, "I don't have time for-"

"I'm sorry I called you a lying slut, you're not a lying slut" her tone was contrite but Brooke smiled at the words.

Opening the door wide Brooke stepped away, "come in" and Peyton walked into the house that not long ago she had called home, Brooke followed Peyton into the living space, "shouldn't you be at home, resting in bed"

Peyton turned around, "yes but I didn't think you would be willing to come visit me" and she sat down on the couch behind her.

Despite Peyton's change of attitude Brooke sat as far away from Peyton as she could, resting against the arm of the lounge chair instead of sitting comfortably, she crossed her legs, her hand placed on he knees. It was a defensive stance and Peyton kept her eyes on Brooke's face.

"I owe you an apology. Forced bedrest has given me a lot of time to think over everything and I admit I handled things… badly" Peyton tried to smile, it shook, faltering before she could truly smile "for a moment there I looked at you and saw my enemy, I lost sight of my best friend"

"I didn't mean for you to get hurt"

"I know. You were thinking about Noah, nobody else" Peyton shook her head, "it all felt so unreal and I didn't do right by Lucas or Noah, or even you"

"I'm sorry too" Brooke blinked, she unfolded her legs, "I did lie. I lied for six years to everybody, I thought I was doing the right thing but I should have told Lucas the truth when I was pregnant" she paused, "I will have to live with my choices for the rest of my life"

"I can't blame you for that" Peyton frowned, "you don't need to say sorry to me and it shouldn't have taken this long for me to say sorry to you. I am, Brooke, I am sorry for everything, you know I never meant to hurt you either?"

"I know" Brooke nodded but there was a part of her that wasn't so sure. Brooke wanted her friend back despite the rollercoaster the friendship often was, despite the lows Peyton was family and a part of the highs as much as the lows.

Suddenly Peyton started crying, Brooke knew the Peyton who knocked on her door was different, her body didn't stand as tall, her voice weak and afraid, and the tears unashamedly falling down her cheeks were different to any tears Brooke had seen Peyton shed before. The closest thing this Peyton reminded Brooke of was the little blonde girl when she had buried her mother.

"I really need my best friend right now" she sobbed through the words and Brooke closed the distance between them, sitting next to Peyton she pulled the other woman into a hug holding her not so differently to the way she had hugged Sam earlier.

Brooke embraced and comforted Peyton, she listened to her friend, but despite the apology, despite how sincere Peyton appeared, or the circumstances her friend was in, something was different. Something had changed between them. Despite how close Peyton was physically there was something inside Brooke that kept an unseen distance between them, a thin wall that prevented the curly haired blonde all the way back in.

Peyton eventually left and though on the surface it appeared a bridge had been built between them Brooke felt a gaping chasm between what they use to be and what was left of their relationship. Coming from upstairs Sam reappeared, "you okay?"

"I'm fine" Brooke's tone was deadpan.

Sam grimaced, "I'm fine usually means someone isn't fine"

"I'm fi- everything's okay, crisis averted" Brooke didn't meet Sam's eyes and the teen went to the kitchen to grab their abandoned coffees. They were cold and without saying a word Sam emptied them down the sink and remade a hot drink for both of them.

The teen handed Brooke her drink and offered her advice with it, "just because she suddenly wants to be friends again doesn't mean you have to do it"

"It's Peyton"

Sam kinked her brow as if to say so? And Brooke wondered if Victoria's dislike of Peyton had rubbed off on the girl, "let's just focus on the two of us right now, let's go shopping before Noah comes home? We can find something for New York" Brooke clapped her hands together excited at the thought and Sam reluctantly agreed. Brooke was grateful, she wanted her focus to be on her children and to put all the drama and confusion behind her.

-x-

Road trip next chapter!