It takes Santana a few days to get back into the swing of things. It's always like that after she loses a patient. She'll numb herself doing sutures in the pit, feeling like a superhero with each wound close, with each parent she gives peace of mind to. And she'll relish the successful tonsillectomies and appendectomies she does on those days after too. Surgeries she can do in her sleep, but surgeries where she feels a sense of security.
She doesn't see Dr. Pierce again for a week. That doesn't mean she hasn't thought about her though. That doesn't mean she hasn't tried to push down the memories of whatever that strange stirring was when she was close to her. That doesn't mean she hasn't let this sort of anxiety build up inside of her, about seeing her again.
It's not an accident, when they see each other again. This time, it's Dr. Pierce seeking her out. She hasn't come to her office since they were working on the Martinez case together—the huggin' babies, Santana can't help but smile, thinking of Liam—but there she is, standing in the doorway with two cups of coffee, and a bag from the coffee shop.
"Hey." Dr. Pierce leans against the doorframe. "I hadn't seen you in awhile, and I figured I'd bring you a cup of coffee and…"
"See how I'm doing?" Santana bites her lip, feeling her cheeks heat up at the thought of how hard Dr. Pierce had seen her cry. "I'm fine. Totally fine. I'm sorry you had to see me act like that the other night."
"No apologies necessary." She comes into the office and hands the coffee over to Santana. "Americano, black, and a vanilla scone."
"You didn't have to bring me coffee. Or…remember my order."
"It's not that complicated. And, I was there, so I figured it wasn't a big deal. Plus, I wanted to see if you felt like having dinner with me."
"I—huh?" Santana almost spits out her coffee, then kind of wants to crawl under her desk.
"Oh, sorry, are we not at that friendship level?" Dr: Pierce wrinkles her nose, then smoothes her already-crisp white coat. "I just figured…"
"Oh…no. We're totally at that level. I mean, I've been to your house, and celebrated your kid's birthday. Sorry, I'm just distracted, reading this new thing about treating spina bifida in utero. I mean, not my field, but I'm totally fascinated by surgery in utero."
"I haven't seen one in years."
"If you ever get a chance, get a seat in the gallery for one of Dr. Holiday's. She's seriously one of the best in the world, and she makes it look easy."
"I'll keep that in mind. I do always love watching a really good surgery."
"Um…" Santana pauses and takes a breath. Why she's acting so weird, she really has no idea. Maybe it's because she never really has dinner with her friends, or maybe because she'd been having weird non-friendly thoughts about Dr. Pierce, but she needs to stop. "So you wanted to have dinner?"
"If you want. I don't usually have a free night, but I was down in North Carolina for a conference until late last night, and my mom isn't bringing Liam back from Boston until tomorrow."
"Ooh, hot night out then." Santana teases. "I'll bring the drugs and the strippers."
"I was thinking more like Indian food."
"Equally as risky. Alright, let's do it. I know a great place a few blocks from here."
Santana decides that she's the most awkward person there ever was. And that's saying a lot, considering she regularly has patients between the ages of nine and fifteen, the universally accepted "awkward years." But she really is. She's so used to eating from takeout containers, either at her desk, or on her couch at home, that she basically forgets how to behave in a restaurant. She wonders if she was like this on that horrible blind date a few weeks back. Probably. Not that she cares.
She spills water on herself about three minutes into dinner, and once she starts on the wine, that doesn't make things any better. She probably should have just changed into her scrubs before going out, because Dr. Pierce teasingly points out the trail of vindaloo sauce on her chin, and all down the front of her blouse. It's a reallygood thing this isn't a date, because she actually enjoys Dr. Pierce's company, and the fact that their just friends makes her awful awkwardness a little more acceptable.
"You were right, this place is really good." Dr. Pierce wipes her face with her napkin and grins. "I'm going to have to try and convince Liam to try it. We need to start branching out from Johnny Rocket and buttered noodles at Fratelli."
"Is it hard, doing it on your own?"
"Yes and no." She shrugs. "It definitely isn't what I expected to be doing right now, but I'd rather do it on my own, than do it with someone whose heart isn't in it."
"Your ex?"
"Yeah." Dr. Pierce sucks her lips into her mouth, and her face tightens. "We'd never planned to have children. Or, rather, she never planned to have children, and I went along with it. But then I ended up with Liam, and she wasn't going to end our engagement, but she made it clear that he'd be my…problem."
"Well that's a pretty fucked up way to go into a marriage."
"Exactly, which is why I didn't. I wasn't going to raise him like that. My sister would have hated it. She obviously didn't pick me as his guardian thinking something would happen to her, but, she knew if it did, her son would be in a loving home. The day I went from Aunt B to Mama, I shifted every priority I had."
"Were…you adopted too?" Santana chances, though she's pretty sure if the roles were reversed, she'd have told someone to mind their own damn business.
"Because of my dad? No. My mom was pregnant when she married him, whirlwind romance and all that. He never treated me any different than my sister."
"Like I imagine it would be for you, if you ever had children."
"Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I'm pushing forty, so the odds of that happening are slim." Dr. Pierce chuckles and tucks her hair behind her ear.
"You never know, you might meet some hot younger woman who sweeps you off your feet and wants to have your babies."
There's a pause, a look, and the waiter approaching with the check cuts off the conversation. Without missing a beat, Dr. Pierce pulls out her credit card, at the same time Santana reaches for the check.
"I asked you to dinner, and you showed me this place, so it's my treat, as a thank you for saving me from Kraft Mac and Cheese tonight."
"I'm sure you'd have found someone to go out with you." Santana rolls her eyes.
"Yeah, maybe if I drove to Boston, where all my friends are."
"Ah, so I see how it is, I'm the consolation prize."
"No." She slips her card into the check wallet, and quickly passes it to the waiter. "Just because you happen to by my first friend here, definitely doesn't make you a consolation."
"Um…" Santana looks away, because Dr. Pierce's blue eyes are a lot for her to handle. "So you feel like getting ice cream? As long as that is my treat."
"Yeah, ice cream sounds good."
They walk, mostly quiet, to Haagen Dazs around the block, and then, ice cream cones in hand, they start walk back to the hospital to Dr. Pierce's car. She's insistent upon driving Santana home, and Santana has had just enough wine that she won't take a cab simply to avoid inconveniencing anyone.
"Nice building." Dr. Pierce compliments, when she pulls up in front. "I actually looked here, when we were moving."
"Really?" Santana scrunches her nose.
"Yeah, a pool, a children's room, a gym I liked that."
"I've never used any of it."
"I'm not surprised. I mean, this is your second home."
"Huh?"
"Sorry, bad joke. I meant because you mostly live at the hospital."
"Oh, yeah, that's true." She laughs. "It's a nice building though. I'd choose it as my first home too."
"It was close, but my sister and I grew up in a brownstone in Boston, and we loved it. I wanted the same for Liam…"
"That's fair." Santana looks at Brittany for a moment, then fiddles with her bag. "Well, thanks for dinner, and for taking me home."
"Thanks for coming, really." She leans in to hug Santana, and Santana's stomach drops as she feels eyes on her lips. Dr. Pierce doesn't kiss her though, she just brushes cheeks, the way friends say goodbye. Still though, it's a lot, and Santana just about bolts out of the car, sparing a quick wave over her shoulder, before getting upstairs as fast as humanly possible. away from Dr. Pierce, and further away from that uncomfortably twisting in her stomach.