***Disclaimer*** for creative purposes only, and I claim no ownership of the fandom, characters and setting. I do however own two broken dvd players, just another item that keeps breaking on me.
So funny story… last chapter, mixed reactions. You know how I was rushed and under pressure because of my laptop, well one of the things I didn't do was actually check the outline of the chapter and story and I f'd up my whole timeline. But I will explain after the chapter. I would apologise in advance for what I'm about to do but instead I will say thank you for your understanding and your great response from the last chapter. I got a universal charger for my laptop and the tip they sent out that matches my laptop came the other day so I now have a charged laptop which is awesome. Yay for that.
I would like the thank the guest reviews, GH Jasam Fan, salazaarjasam, bjq, Ivonne, k-pixy, brucas mc, new to brooke, notrob, lileen, brucaslove, breathbookslove, dianehermans, callison and clavyus. Clearly there are many mixed feelings about the cliffhanger, some loved it some hated it I am sure this chapter will make a lot of you even more… sigh. Anyways I don't really know what to say except thanks for the feedback and read on.
Chapter Nineteen
The nights had been quiet but the days offered distractions, Haley stopped by every day to check on Peyton and the blonde was grateful. Haley was perched on the bed while Peyton remained under the covers propped up by too many pillows, "thanks Hales for taking care of me"
"I can't let you starve or my beautiful niece or nephew. How are you coping without Luke?"
Peyton covered her ever growing bump, "we're okay" she forced her smile to grow, "just a few more hour and he'll be home. It's strange being in this house without Lucas"
Voice growing more cautious Haley tried to appear normal, she began to clean up from their lunch, "and things are… better?"
"We're trying harder" Peyton nodded, she licked her lips even as she rubbed her belly, "eventually everything will get back to normal, we have this little one to keep us strong" she relaxed back into her pillows and smiled more. There was a new confidence in Peyton and Haley felt relieved, the blonde sighed "I don't know why I let myself get so stressed over high school drama. Other women would worry about their partner going away with their ex on a family trip but I'm lucky-" she gave a content closed lip smile "- I have nothing to worry about"
Haley almost choked, she was shocked by Peyton's change of attitude, "this is a change of tune" she sounded dubious.
With a laugh Peyton replied, "there was a time I forgot who we all are but this is Lucas and Brooke, she's my best friend, Brooke would never cross the line. I got a bit crazy for a while but sometimes all that's needed is a reminder."
There were secrets buried inside Peyton's pale eyes and her smiles today, she rubbed her belly, content in her safe little world.
-x-
The silence as they waited at the airport was deafening and awkward, Sam reached for Brooke's hand and squeezed it feeling the older woman's conflicted feelings. Brooke sent her a grateful smile and Sam smiled back, though Brooke knew Sam had no idea the truth behind the sudden change within the group on this last day together.
Lucas sat all too aware Brooke wouldn't look at him, that the shadow in her eyes was shame and guilt. It circled through his thought what he should have done, what he should have said, and though Brooke's eyes gave away a sleepless night Lucas had slept and instead been plagues by dreams. The dreams had been so real Lucas was almost confused about what had actually happened and what was fantasy, he could still feel her skin beneath his touch and taste her on his lips.
When Nathan arrived to pick them up and take them home his welcoming grin dropped as soon as he saw his older brother and friend, locking his jaw Nathan opened the door to the car and slammed it a little too hard once the kids and Brooke were inside. At the trunk he helped Lucas pack away the luggage, Nathan hissed, "I warned you it was a bad idea"
"Nathan, leave it alone"
The tension increased on the drive, Nathan insisted on taking Brooke and the kids home first and Brooke seemed grateful at the idea of being back home as soon as she could. Lucas went to get out of the car and Nathan stopped him, he shook off his brother's hand and continued getting out, Lucas didn't go near Brooke as Nathan helped her unload their luggage but he gave Sam a hug good bye and then as he let her go Noah wrapped his arms around Lucas' middle and Lucas gently hugged his son as well, "I'll see in a couple of days" the hug ended as they pulled away from each other "love you."
Noah looked up at his father, "love you too, Dad" and his dimples were on show.
His breath hitched, Lucas just smiled the tension leaving him and ignoring Nathan's hints to get back in the car Lucas stood and waiting until the others were all safely inside, with one last wave to each other Lucas lost sight of his son. Nathan returned to the driver's side and had already started the engine by the time Lucas was back in his seat strapped in.
"You going to tell me what happened?" Nathan asked as he drove.
"What makes you so sure anything happened?"
Nathan scoffed, "you have that guilty puppy look on your face" his fist on the steering wheel tightened, "and Brooke… I know when she's angry and I sure can tell when she's angry at herself. Whatever, don't tell me, I'm not the one who you need to talk to" he hit the steering wheel, "damn it, Lucas! do you ever think before you do anything"
"All I do it think" Lucas mumbled.
"Sure as hell don't seem like that"
Lucas looked out the window, "it was one kiss, we both ended it, we both moved away. Just one reckless kiss, okay, and, if you didn't notice, the chances of anything like that happening again is zero-" he faced Nathan "-Brooke and I will never be that close to each other again, you happy? You were right. Now you can keep harping about it but nothing you could possibly say I haven't already said to myself"
It was a few minutes before Nathan replied, "you gonna tell Peyton?"
"I don't know, Nathan, I just…" he stopped. One kiss. One minute. That's all it was and I just want to forget it. Brooke's words came back to him.
They were nearly at Lucas' house, "you better figure it out" Nathan parked in the driveway as he spoke his final words.
With a nod and a brief thank you Lucas got out and retrieved his suitcase, he more than anyone knew he had to do something.
Peyton was inside waiting for the sound of an engine, of the thud of a car door and the jingle of keys in the front door. She lay propped up as foot steps sounded down the hall way and then there he was, Lucas stepped into the room, he dropped his suitcase to the ground as his shoulders slumped.
Almost instantly their eyes met and Peyton saw something, a dark shadow in his eyes, an expression she knew well and she knew Lucas was going to hurt someone and that someone was probably her. With a shaky smile Peyton lowered her lashes, "hi" and as if the baby inside her new their daddy was home a swift kick hit Peyton's ribs and she covered a sudden lump that appeared on one side of her extended belly that was now lopsided.
Eyes trailing from Peyton's face to where her hand rested on her pregnant belly Lucas stopped one he reached where his child was rested peaceful and innocent, "hi" he replied back and stepped closer, "how are you?"
"I'm fine" but as she said it Peyton felt the tears start to fall in a steady quiet stream. The rest of her body didn't move it was just the silent stream of tears, "you?"
"Peyton?"
"What do I do, Lucas? What am I meant to do? I am stuck here, trapped by this pregnancy" she met his eyes and tried to smile "and you're out there, and you are here in front of me but… why do I feel like you're still not here"
Lucas moved, he quickly joined Peyton and reached for her hand, under his finders he could feel their child moving as real as the woman whose hand he held, "I'm sorry" he said it not once, the words once out repeated over and over again and Peyton's face fell forward her forehead falling against him and their heads propped each other up.
"I am so sorry, for everything, for all this confusion and doubt. I love you, I do, I love you and I never wanted to hurt you"
"But you will, right?" she wet her lips and could taste her tears, Peyton closed her eyes, "can't the past just be the past? What I've done, what you've done, all of it, can't we just let the past go" she squeezed the hand touching hers and with her other one moved it to where the baby had shifted to, her face started to lift up, her lips so close to his, "this is the future, this is our future"
"Peyt-" his voice tremored but he was stopped by her lips on his. Unable to return the kiss Lucas pulled back slightly, "Peyton"
"I don't care, I don't care" Peyton pleaded, "this was the dream, we are so close to everything we ever dreamed, I won't just throw it all away because of mistakes" her watery eyes met his trying to read him.
Lucas' pupils were flicking side to side and Peyton new he was trying to do the same, knew he was thinking things over and over again and trying to understand not just everything else but her and she smiled hopefully.
"That's what you want?"
"Let's just make this right, we can do that, we can make this right" her voice was so sincere and Lucas searched her eyes again.
Her tears had stopped and Lucas wiped Peyton's cheek with his thumb as he cupped her face, something tightened in his chest but he nodded, "marry me?"
Peyton laughed, "I've already said yes"
"I know, and I know I said I wanted to wait until the baby was born but let's do it now just the two of us and a couple of witnesses, here at home. Let's just do it"
"Yeah" her grin grew wider and as she laughed and wrapped her arms around him, her happiness so clear Lucas' heart settled in his chest, he gently embraced her back and his face dropped.
There was doubt inside him, so much doubt, but everyone had told him he needed to do something, and he knew he could make at least one person happy, three if he counted the children. Stability, clear lines, and love. Lucas told himself he could do that.
Peyton's loving laughter continued, a comfort that eventually caused Lucas to grin as well.
-x-
Shocked Lucas stared at his best friend and his brother, the couple had looks of horror on their face and Lucas was genuinely taken aback by their reactions, "you're really saying no?"
"Are you nuts?" Nathan yelled, "jumping into things is what got you into this mess"
"I don't get you both. I'm staying away from Brooke, I am committing to my relationship with Peyton, just like you both having been drilling into my head is what I should do but now I want to marry Peyton you're saying no and that I am crazy"
"It's great that you're taking this seriously but rushing into a wedding as a knee jerk reaction to what happened in New York is not the answer"
"What's the difference between now and in three months' time?" Lucas ran his hands through his hair, "I'm marrying Peyton, this is what she wants, this is what she has been begging me about for months"
No. No. There's nothing to talk about, you're marrying Peyton and I can't do this. I can't put my heart on a platter for it to be pecked at. I don't need to talk about it. Go home, go home to your wife.
Brooke's cutting words were still an echo, still playing in his mind as strongly as her touch still clung to his skin. Lucas threw his hands up in frustration, "I'm drowning here. Please, I'm asking for your help"
"It doesn't have to be now" Nathan's voice softened but Lucas looked beyond Nathan to where Haley had turned her back on him, he stared at his best friend for what seemed long enough he could count each strand of hair on the back of her head but was probably only a few seconds.
"Luke" Haley turned back around, her eyes bigger than normal, "it's not that we don't want to support you"
It's not that I don't care. No matter what I want you to know-
What? What? This is why I can't do this, Broody. We can try to uncomplicate this but the more we try the more knots we are making. Let's just walk away now while the only causality of this stupidity is our dignity.
Haley looked to Nathan for help but quickly faced Lucas again, "but having us there isn't going to help you or Peyton. Please just take some time to breathe and think about it and If you still think this is-"
"Enough" Lucas yelled loudly causing Haley to jump, her words falling into the unknown, Lucas pointed at the two of them, "fine, don't come. That's your choice, but one day you may regret it because I'm marrying Peyton" he stormed off furious and as he retreated Haley covered her mouth, she leant against her husband.
"Are we horrible people?"
Nathan kissed the top of Haley's head, pulling his wife further into him, she sniffed, "I just fear he will be the one regretting it"
"It's his choice, Hales, and his regrets to have".
-x-
There was an impending dread within Brooke, she knew when she woke up earlier in the morning that it was going to be a terrible day. Brooke didn't know how she would keep standing, yesterday had been her last day as Sam's foster mother and though the trip to New York had allowed her to have such a special last memory of their time together it had also left a cloud over the day before.
Brooke could never get that time back but she had tried to best after they returned to Tree Hill to make it as easy and fun as she could. Today Brooke's heart was breaking but she was determined to keep her smile on because she didn't want Sam to know how much this was destroying her.
Victoria and Haley were with them, Jamie and Noah were both oddly quiet as they both walked with their mothers, and Sam leant against Brooke as they walked towards the building where half a year ago Brooke had received some of the scariest yet best news she had ever gotten. This was where her second chance with Noah had begun and now it was where her chance to be Sam's mother ended.
"I guess this is sayonara" Sam hugged Brooke's side before turning to look at the others, "you all made me feel like family"
Victoria touched Sam's hair, "as you shall always be" and with the slightest of smile, her lip barely lifting on one side, Victoria stepped back and Haley hugged the teenager.
"I may not be your teacher anymore but I'm always a phone call away, we'll miss you around here"
Almost as soon as Haley let air between them Jamie was jumping at Sam, "hey, little man, I won't be far. Once I get my license I'll come break you free every now and then" she looked at Haley as she hugged Jamie, "send you home full of ice cream"
Jamie held his tears in but he couldn't laugh, "you better" he warned and stepping back he tried to hide the fact he was on the verge of crying.
Having waited patiently Noah stood by Brooke watching, Sam turned to the little boy who had become like a brother "you too kid, I'm still going to annoy you" and as Noah took a step closer Sam didn't let him get away from her she leant down and pulled him into a tight hug, their faces buried into each other's necks.
"I'll miss you" Noah's voice was quiet and Sam gave a sad smile and leant slightly back.
Unable to resist Sam ruffled Noah's darkening hair, he scowled but didn't object, "you won't get a chance" and with those words Sam grabbed Brooke, "you'll see me so much you will get sick of it"
"Never" Brooke promised. They hugged longer than intended each one ready to pull away and then on trying to realised their arms wouldn't let go.
Just as Brooke felt she couldn't hold the tears in they let go of each other and Brooke's not very gracefully wipe at her eyes, the tears hadn't fallen yet but the move helped her to compose herself. The last thing Brooke felt like doing was smiling but she smiled at Sam because she loved the teenager and couldn't help it, "this isn't a goodbye"
Sam nodded, "it's a see you later" and with a hand still curled around Brooke's arms she gave one final nod of farewell to the others and then arm in arm they walked inside together.
-x-
Alone in his room Lucas struggled to do his own tie, his fingers didn't seem to work, frustrated he ripped it from his neck and threw it across the room.
A chuckle came from the doorway, so familiar it made Lucas' heart ache, he turned quickly knowing what he would see. Nathan stood there in a dark blue suit and white shirt, his hand in his pockets, "hey big brother, you need some help?"
"You came" Lucas closed his eyes as his head fell backwards, he was so grateful to have his brother with him, but then he stood tall, "I didn't think you would"
"I didn't want to regret missing out on being here for you, you've had my back with every stupid choice I ever made and I'll have yours" he picked up the tie and quickly put it back around Lucas' neck, his fingers deft.
Watching his brother do up his tie Lucas smiled "still think I'm making a mistake"
"Hey" Nathan shrugged, "only you know why your standing here. I love you both" finishing the task Nathan held Lucas by the back of his head and they looked into each other's eyes. Nathan smiled but his tone was serious, "just love each other and you'll be alright"
Lucas nodded and fixed his hair, he slipped his jacket on and looked in the mirror. From behind him Nathan smirked, "not bad, you're the fourth best looking Scott"
"Fourth?"
"I'm first," Nathan rolled his eyes, "obviously. The boys get their good looks from me too"
"Right" Lucas wiggled his arms trying to feel comfortable, "so I look okay?"
"Yeah"
Lucas wanted to move, he couldn't stay still yet he couldn't do much else, but as he looked at Nathan another question came to him, "is Haley here?"
Closed lipped Nathan shook his head and Lucas sighed. Nathan rested a hand on Lucas' shoulder, "at least one of us had to be here, you got me but Brooke got Haley today"
At the thought of Brooke, Lucas looked down again, "I'm glad, if things had been different I would have… you know, I was there when Angie left but…"
"I know" Nathan dropped his hand.
A knock on the door had them both turning, Skills stepped into the room "celebrant is set, y'all good?"
"All good" Nathan gave Skills a nod and thumped Lucas' shoulder, "no going back now. I'll see you up there" he pushed Lucas towards Skills.
Lucas quickly caught his step and joined Skills, together they went to join the last-minute celebrant Peyton had contacted. The elderly woman smiled at Lucas and he then turned to face the door on the other side of the porch, the door that he had once painted red for another woman and then painted black when she'd broken his heart. It was neither colour now and with Skills by his side Lucas waited.
With only half a day's notice Mia and Peyton had organised more than he would have thought possible. White flowers were everywhere, along the porch floor on either side of the red-carpet runner, along the banner and even hanging from the roof.
Lucas was wearing a classic black suit and tie with a white linen shirt, it was an old set but it was clean and ready having last been worn at Quinton's funeral. Skills eyed Lucas and then plucked a white Marigold from the vase on the table behind the celebrant, he placed it into Lucas' breast pocket.
Music started playing and Lucas smiled when he heard the steady beat of 'Always Love' by Nada Surf, the door opened and Mia stepped onto the porch first. The musician's hair was out, half covering her face, Lucas was so nervous he didn't notice the dress she was wearing and instead kept his eyes waiting for what was behind Mia.
Mia stopped and stood next to Skills and then they appeared, Peyton was on Nathan's arm, she was barefoot and little gave away how much she was relying on Nathan as she walked forward with a bunch of crimson roses and white daisies in her hands.
Lucas straightened up as Peyton sent him a smile. Her beautiful dark golden hair was clipped behind her head, a few loose curls brushing her cheeks and shoulders. The dress was a halter top, Lucas wasn't sure where Peyton had gotten it from and it was the least traditional wedding dress he had ever seen but is was Peyton. The black material clung to her swollen breast, clinching above the swell of her pregnant abdomen it then flowed down to the floor, black turning to smoky grey and gradually turning to the palest grey at the hem.
Together Nathan and Peyton walked along the red carpet, one foot in front of the other until they reached Lucas who took Peyton's arm from Nathan as Mia took the bouquet from Peyton.
Nathan stepped aside and Lucas and Peyton faced each other with nervous smiles, hey she mouthed and Lucas mouthed it back.
"We're gathered here today.."
-x-
The office wasn't sterile, there was a round desk in the centre and children's toys stacked along one wall, the paint was too bright but Brooke wasn't looking at the room. Her eyes went over Carine to where Rebecca stood, the woman looked older than Brooke knew she was but her bright smile showed off the girl she used to be and Brooke knew that sixteen years ago she would have looked much like Sam.
Rebecca came straight to Brooke and hugged the other woman, her face was pale but happy tears were falling from her eyes when she stepped back from Brooke, "thank you! Thank you for everything you've done for Samantha. I can never say thanks enough" the older woman's hands were shaking and she reached for Sam's hand with a laughing smile.
Her obvious joy made it hard for Brooke to cope with her own more negative emotions about what was happening.
"Loving her and taking care of Sam will be thanks enough" Brooke almost choked on the words and Rebecca nodded giving her promise she would take care of Sam.
Before long, it was time for Brooke to leave and they found themselves hugging again, Brooke struggled to let go, "I liked being a Davis" Sam half laughed and half sobbed as she clung to Brooke, her words quiet.
Smiling against the teenager's neck Brooke squeezed hugger, "you'll always be a Davis to me"
"You'll always be my first Mom" Sam replied causing Brooke to swallow a hard sob.
They pulled apart, "not goodbye, right?" Brooke smiled wiping her eyes and Sam smiled back.
"I'll see you later, Brooke"
"See you, Sam"
Their hands dropped from each other and Sam joined Rebecca leaving Brooke oddly cold. It didn't quite feel real to Brooke as she left them and returned downstairs, the others were still waiting with sad smiles when Brooke approached. It was Noah who reached Brooke first, without a word he wrapped his arms around his mother and rested his head under her breast.
The moment was so sweet that the others only watched for a long moment and then as if by silent communication Brooke found herself surrounded by warm arms.
-x-
The world looked the same, though Lucas Scott looked down at the simple band that now graced his left ring finger and knew everything was different. He was married, the word went over and over in his head, he had expected something to feel different, perhaps for things to fall into place.
On his finger the ring felt heavy, Lucas rubbed it with his thumb unused to weight and feel of it. A sudden heat ran up his neck and Lucas stepped away from Peyton, he excused himself from the small group.
In the kitchen Lucas grabbed and drink and quickly swallowed it. Everything was meant to be simpler now. He took another long cold swallow.
With a waddle Peyton appeared, Lucas' face appeared guilty as he was caught standing there but seeing Peyton dressed in her wedding dress had Lucas pause. She was beautiful, her smile eased some of the confusion inside him as Lucas was reminded why he as where he was. Too many choices had been made already and Lucas knew Peyton needed him and, in many ways, Lucas needed her too.
Peyton wanted Lucas, she wanted a future and a family with him, her surety was something that helped give him direction, helped soothe the ache of the lonely abandoned boy he'd one been.
"Drink?" Lucas asked to distract from his abrupt departure from the other room.
Peyton nodded and with a sigh leant against the table top exhausted, "I can't wait to have a real drink" she sent him another glance "anda real honeymoon"
"We'll get there"
"The important thing is we're together" Peyton held out her left hand and smiled at her wedding ring, "Mrs Scott" she said it to herself, "Mrs Sawyer-Scott… that's bad. I'm Mrs Scott" her accent thickened as she repeated her new moniker.
Joining his wife Lucas bent down and kissed her cheek, "well Mrs Scott, let's go re-join our guest, we have the rest of our lives to figure out who we are" and he grabbed for her hand to lead the way out.
-x-
The house felt naked, Brooke no longer felt natural in her own home, and even though it was a warm day outside Brooke still slipped on a cardigan to cover herself like a security blanket.
Victoria's efforts to comfort Brooke had been so awkward Brooke had sent her mother home to get ready to leave North Carolina for an important business meeting Brooke had made Millie set up last minute, if Victoria wanted to feel helpful Brooke would happily oblige Victoria as long as it wasn't near her at the moment.
"Give yourself time to adjust" Haley lounged on the couch resting up on her elbow.
"It's just so quiet" Brooke looked around the room, "I used to love this place" Brooke sighed. Her eyes went over everything, not much was different yet everything was.
"Are you still thinking about moving?" Haley asked.
Brooke averted her eyes and smiled, "actually…" her dark eyes met Haley, "I got a call this morning, my offer was accepted, I got the house. I want to be happy and a part of me is, of course, but I didn't expect it to be just Noah and I moving in"
"It's a big house" Haley's eyes widened.
Brooke nodded, "I know. Too big maybe"
"No, no, Brooke. There's many ways to fill it… hey maybe you should ask Victori-"
"Don't even think it" Brooke glared at Haley and the other woman laughed, she gave her Brooke Davis pout "what if Sam decides she wants to come back but we've moved into this house that doesn't feel like home to her"
Sympathetic Haley reached out and rubbed Brooke's arm, "honey, Sam wouldn't want you staying here to wait for her. If Sam wants to come home to you what house it is won't matter, as young as you're there"
"She's not coming back" Brooke whispered.
Haley hugged Brooke, "I don't think so. You can cry if you need to" Haley added knowing Brooke was doing her best to act strong.
They remained silent for a while, resting on the couch still hugging. When Brooke's leg started going to sleep she pulled away, "I'm going to be fine" she reassured her friend.
Haley nodded, her thoughts went elsewhere, "I know. You're stronger than even you know, Brooke, and there's so many more amazing things out there waiting for you. Just focus on you and Noah"
"Speaking of, I should go check on the boys" Brooke left Haley to check on Noah and Jamie, she only ducked her head into the room before leaving again, "they're fighting each other on the Xbox"
Off the couch Haley was now standing by the front window, her eyes down on her phone, she jumped when Brooke reappeared, "huh?"
"Jamie and Noah, they're still playing Xbox. You okay?"
"I'm fine. Nathan just texted me"
"Right" Brooke was grateful for Haley but knew Haley had her own life, "you don't need to stay here, I'll be fine. Besides, I have Noah"
Haley's expression changed, "actually there's something I wanted to warn you about before I go. I don't know how to tell you" struggling to get it out Haley played with her own hands.
A confused Brooke crossed the living area, "it can't be that bad"
Haley took a step back, "Lucas and Peyton got married today"
Everything froze, Brooke stopped and narrowed her eyes not sure she heard right, "sorry, what? I thought you said-"
"I did. They decided to get married before the baby was born, at home with a couple of witnesses. It all happened fast but by now they should be Mr and Mrs Scott" Haley didn't know whether to smile or wince and the blank look on Brooke's face gave nothing away.
The silence became tense, finally Brooke moved, her chin relaxed "oh" her lips parted and a familiar smile took over her face which Haley knew well, "that's just great" her hands came up and she clasped them for a second before they dropped down again. She was smiling but it didn't reach her eyes or even her cheeks, Brooke's famous dimples were weak, her whole face looked tight, Haley knew this smile was laced with hidden fury.
Now Haley winced, "you okay?"
"I'm great, just great, why wouldn't I be great, this is great. I'm happy for them, it's great news" the words fell out in a tirade and Brooke sounded anything but happy. Haley wasn't sure great was even a real word anymore for it no longer sounded natural, Brooke laughed "that's what they both wanted so…" she waved her hand.
"Yes, great. I got that impression. Maybe I shouldn't have told you"
Brooke shook her head, "no, you're right, I needed the warning. Now you really should go get that gorgeous son of yours and take him home, I guess I have packing to start thinking about" her words were hurried and Brooke quickly went to tell Jamie he was going home, the goodbyes were slightly awkward and Brooke sidestepped away from Haley's hug to rush her friend leaving.
Once the door was shut the cracks began to show in Brooke, her nose turned red, she made it to her bedroom just in time. With it closed behind her Brooke collapsed back against her door, as the tears started to flow and her shoulders shook she slid down to the floor.
Now she had started Brooke couldn't stop, all the emotions she had been holding in over the last forty eight hours escaped in a flood.
-x-
In his car the next afternoon Lucas looked out the window up at Brooke's house, his eyes drifted to his hand and after a moment of thought Lucas slipped off his ring and put it in his pocket. His intention wasn't to hide it from Brooke but he didn't want her to see the wedding ring before he told her.
Guilt was already filling him, he didn't know what was worse, that he felt like he was betraying Peyton or that a part of him felt like he was betraying Brooke.
Lucas didn't feel married, he had to keep reminding himself it wasn't just a dream. They'd discussed having a proper reception after the birth and once they were settled in, and a proper honeymoon. The latter had Lucas nervous, they hadn't been intimate in months since the doctor said it was no longer safe, and if Lucas was honest their sex life had dwindled even before that. Last night had been their wedding night but much to Peyton's obvious frustration they could not celebrate in the way she had wanted to, Lucas had promised that when they could both get the same enjoyment they would have a wedding night to remember but he'd been happy she hadn't pressed alternatives.
Getting out of his car Lucas gulped, he didn't want his first time with Peyton after their wedding to be shadowed by anything else. It didn't feel fair to her and guilt and shamed still flowed through his body over what had happened in New York.
As much as they could say it was only a moment, barely a minute, the passion that had flared up had lasted longer, heating Lucas' body the entire night. His dreams had been so real that Lucas felt that though they hadn't actually had sex it still felt like they had. Lucas and Brooke had pulled away from each other but that hadn't stopped his body wanting to be closer and it had been Brooke's name on his lips when he was moaning in the shower in the middle of the night trying to ease the desire, and her touch and face he'd imagined.
Barely forty-eight hours later and Lucas now wore another woman's ring on the same hand that had betrayed Peyton, still he couldn't shake that feeling that he was betraying Brooke as well.
Lucas reached the door and knocked, it swung open and Brooke was there, her hair loose around her face, she was looking at him yet at the same time her eyes didn't quite meet his and she kept the door half closed between them, "Noah's just grabbing his notebook" and then she eyed him up and down before finally looking into his blue eyes.
Lucas swore Brooke's eyes were black today, they lacked sparkle, her smiled didn't reach nearly high enough but she tried to smile at him, "so, I hear congratulations are in order"
"Uh-"
"Congratulations Luke"
"Thanks. Does Noah know?" he tried to look behind Brooke for a sign of Noah.
She shook her head, "I thought he should hear it from you"
"I wanted to tell you" Lucas quickly said.
"You don't owe me any explanations" and with a hard smile she opened the door wider, "here he comes" and Noah speed walked over to them.
"Hi Dad!" Noah held out his hand for their handshake and then quickly started down the stairs once it was over, "bye Mom!"
"Have a good time" Brooke waved, her focus on Noah, though Lucas still stood in front of her, she could feel him staring at her, "you should go" she looked at him and he gave a nod following Noah down and slipping the ring from his pocket back onto his finger.
-x-
So… that's that chapter. Quite a band aide Lucas has decided to use, not like this can backfire on them at all, right.
Now that funny story, you know how I mentioned that the pressure of last chapter of trying to write it one handed with a dying laptop and not doing things I usually do like check in with my story outline and chapter outline. I have a page with big moments mapping out the timeline, usually when I get to a chapter or a group of chapter I get chapter outlines, I usually have one sentence for upcoming chapters and then as I get a couple of chapters away I start filling out the outline with point form layout of order of scenes etc. some chapter outlines are longer than other chapters, some are real detailed other are vague.
It's not the first time I've thrown away the chapter outline but usually I check it over, so the whole NY controversial BL kiss…. Was never meant to happen. Yep. I fucked up my storyline and timeline because I didn't open a second word page and check my notes which would have reminded me that they were meant to have an almost kiss, a moment when they know they are having a moment recognise it and get the f away from each other. Then in the next chapter once they're back and Sam has to go give Sam back to her birth mother in a very s5 BL/Angie vibe Lucas was meant to be the one to comfort Brooke afterwards at her house, and during that vulnerable moment they were meant to actually kiss and then Brooke sends Lucas home to Peyton where he proposes they get married straight away. So do you guys think the original plan would have worked better?
Also I had to rewrite the start of this chapter, I had written 2 pages and it originally started immediately after they pulled away from the kiss and went over all the emotions thoughts and feeling over the rest of the night. I really liked it. But a computer went spaz and I don't know what I pressed but one minute I am typing away and then in the next second my word document was closing. Without saving. Two pages all gone! I tried rewriting it but I just could not recapture what I had originally wanted so I just scrapped it and started the chapter at a different point. And now I am saving after I finish every paragraph, until I get slack again.
And don't stress, marriage isn't final. There's annulment, divorce… death, I have options. Just saying. I don't write fanfic to give a couple who should never have had an onscreen endgame another endgame for my mind.