***Disclaimer*** for creative purposes only, and I claim no ownership of the fandom, characters and setting.
I would like to thank the amazing reviewers especially for your understanding of my late update, I did my best to find the time to knock out this chapter. It's not as long as perhaps hoped but I hop you enjoy it, though it may be an emotional one. Thanks to the guest reviews, there were some amazing comments and emotions. Also thanks to delphine05, WMC, k-pixy, brookelucasnoah, Ivonne, brucaslove, bjq, notrob, GH jasam fan, mirianschuaster1, new to brooke, brucas, lileen, princesakarlita411, dianehermans, breathbookslove and Callison.
There were a few suggestions of song titles for last chapter however I am asking for more as I felt the chapter needed a more upbeat song though I've added some to my list for future chapters.
Chapter Twenty-One
The huskier tenor of her own voice filled the room, "I'm not ashamed of my son or the past. I'm not saying I would make the same choice if I could live my life again but I am no longer a scared teenager who felt alone in the world. There are so many mother's out there who have to make tough decisions and many don't realise it's love that has them go through nine months of pregnancy and giving birth only to hand all that joy over to another mother. I was that girl and through a twist of fate I have been given a second chance"
"The details of which are still a mystery. Would you shed some light on the reunion with your son?"
"I prefer not to dwell on it, I can lay blame or I can be thankful the mistakes that happened led me to discovering my son ag-"
Brooke turned the TV off and Haley laughed at the sound Brooke made, "I thought the interview went well"
"It did it's job and got the media to back off" Brooke looked up from where she sat across from Haley. The two women were enjoying an afternoon together with their work, Brooke had her sketch book open as she worked on her next line and Haley was working on lyrics, "wanna play hooky?"
Haley laughed again, "you own your company and I'm… well I'm not sure what I am… either way we have no bosses to play hooky from"
"Perfect! Let's go out for lunch, I feel restless today" Brooke abandoned her designs and stood, Haley followed suit but packed away her things.
As they left the breakfast nook, Haley shook her head, "this big house and you still work in the kitchen"
Brooke gave a slight pout, "I've turned the library into a work room but some days it's too quiet in there, coffee is closer here too"
"Sure" Haley slung her bag over her shoulder, "where do you want to go for lunch"
"I don't know, days like this I wish Karen's was still here"
They left the house, Haley's mind on where they could go, she suggested a restaurant on the Riverwalk and Brooke nodded.
It had been a busy few weeks with school starting and Haley had felt strange not returning to the high school again. Haley's mind returned to the children at the thought of the school, "are you picking Noah up today?" she asked as they drove down the street.
"It's Luke's day. He wants to have Noah this weekend, first sleepover, with the baby coming next week Luke wants as much time with Noah as he can get because he won't get the quality time with Noah for a while the baby comes"
"Sounds like you guys are communicating well"
"We text" Brooke shrugged, "we can't ignore each other and it will be good for Noah to get used to the idea of staying at Luke's"
"It's good. Nathan and Lucas missed out on so much by not seeing each other when they were little"
Brooke agreed, she didn't want that for Noah and his sibling, her relationship with Lucas and Peyton shouldn't stop Noah from being able to be a big brother. Her mind turned to the two Scott men "imagine how cute a little Nathan and Lucas would have been playing basketball together"
"Imagine the trouble they would have gotten into" Haley smiled, her eyes wen dreamy "but I guess if things had been different we wouldn't be where we are now"
All Brooke could do was agree, even their mistakes and the mistakes of their parents had lines things up to where they all were now. Some things were just meant to happen even with the pain.
-x-
Peyton stood in the doorway as she watched Lucas, her husband was still unboxing things, a pile of rubbish in the middle of the room was only growing bigger. He finished making Noah's single bed, placing the pillow just so and Peyton rolled her eyes.
"It looks fine" she stared at the finished bed unable to help compare it to the empty crib on the other side of the room which had a wrapped mattress leaning against it.
"I hope they like it" Lucas smiled, he picked up a small stuffed lion toy with large amber eyes "Jamie gave me this for the baby" and he walked over to place it on top of the chest of drawers reserved for the baby.
Next Lucas grabbed a box and pulled out the mobile, he looked at it and placed it aside "remind me to wash the crib sheets tomorrow"
'Why not today?"
Lucas frowned, "why not tomorrow. The caesarean is a week away and besides we will be using the bassinet in our room anyway"
Peyton reluctantly dropped it, she crossed her arms, "okay, I'm going to go lay down"
For a moment Lucas looked at her, "okay, get some sleep" and watched as she walked away, he shook his head and then Lucas reached for the next box and pulled out the matching money boxes he'd gotten the kids. Full of happiness Lucas placed one on Noah's shelf next to his framed birth certificate and ultrasound photo and the other on the baby's shelf to the right just below the other one.
As Lucas turned around he saw how big the pile of rubbish had become, he collected it all up and carried it out to the bin. When Lucas stepped back inside he could hear his phone ringing, he took his time but frowned when he saw the caller ID, "hello?"
"Hi, am I speaking to Lucas Scott?"
"Yes. Is Noah alright?"
"That's why I'm calling. Noah has been involved in an accident at school, he has hit his head, the skin hasn't broken but we feel it best if a parent picks him up to take him home and monitor him"
"Sure, I will come get him"
"Thanks, Mr Scott"
Lucas gave his farewell and ended the call, his mind distracted he rushed to grab his keys and wallet, he was almost out the door when he remembered to let Peyton know he was going out.
"Hey babe" he said as he entered their bedroom and stopped when he saw Peyton was asleep, slowing down Lucas left a note on the bedside for Peyton and left her sleeping.
As he left his driveway Lucas put his phone on loudspeaker and called Brooke, "hi, Brooke, I got a call from the school. Noah's hit his head and they want me to pick him up early"
"Is he okay?" Lucas could hear the concern in Brooke's voice.
"Not sure. I thought I should bring him back to your house, if you don't mind I could stay with him there for a bit before I go home"
"Yes, that sounds good. I'm not home… I… uh… I went out with Haley" in the background Brooke asked Haley for as lift home.
Lucas reached a stop sign, "Brooke why don't I swing by and pick you up? I can hear the concern in your voice"
There was a long pause and then Brooke agreed, "I'm at the Riverwalk"
"I'll be there in a few minutes" Lucas was happy she had agreed, times like this was when they needed to work together and put any awkwardness aside.
When Lucas picked Brooke up she looked more stressed than he could remember ever seeing her, the drive to the school went by in an eerie silence.
As soon as they saw Noah waiting for them Brooke's demeanour softened, "hey, how are you feeling?"
"Tired" the boy mumbled.
Brooke frowned, brushing Noah's hair back, her voice deepened, "let's get you home then"
Lucas looked at the nurse waiting with Noah, "what exactly happened?"
"He slipped and hit his head. I recommend you take him to a doctor and keep an eye out for any signs of a concussion"
Lucas nodded and touched Noah's shoulder, "come on, buddy" and his eyes met Brooke's. Lucas gave a nod to her silent worry and bent down to pick Noah up, he didn't complain, his face falling against Lucas' shoulder and his arms wrapping around to cling to his father.
As if she could read his mind Brooke spoke allowed what Lucas was thinking, "he's not himself, I think we should take Noah straight to the doctors"
With care Lucas placed and buckled Noah into his car seat, Brooke immediately climbed in next to their son. They had driven only ten minutes when Brooke gasped, "Luke!" she screamed.
Lucas heard it as Noah started vomiting, "I know" he reassured Brooke, "we've got this, Brooke, I'll drive straight to the hospital. Noah's probably concussed"
"Can you drive faster?" she was only half joking. Fear like no fear that had ever filled her was rushing through Brooke, rationally Brooke knew Noah would be alright but rationality meant nothing to Brooke at the moment.
Hours later Brooke lay next to Noah on the hospital bed, "feeling better?"
"Yeah"
Lucas sat on the other side of Noah, a relieved smile on his face, "looks like you'll have some more time off school"
"I want to go home" he turned from Lucas to Brooke, Noah's eyes large. Lying on the hospital, glassy eyed and vulnerable Noah looked and sounded every bit the seven-year-old he was.
Brooke bit her lip, "the doctor thinks it's best, they want to monitor you overnight"
"You'll be home in no time" Lucas added when Noah turned those eyes to him, the colour was lighter but his eyes and brows were so much like Brooke's it made something twist in Lucas' stomach seeing Noah so unhappy, those eyes brought back memories of the past mingling it with the present.
Noah began to sit up, "I need the bathroom"
"Okay, sweetie" Brooke slipped off the hospital bed to give Noah the room to leave, when she was alone with Lucas she dragged her eyes from the closed door, "I know he will be fine but I have this sinking feeling inside my stomach that something bad is going to happen"
Forgetting that they weren't meant to be so close, Lucas wrapped his arms around Brooke, her cheek rested against his chest, she sighed and hugged him back taking the comfort as they both tried to let go of the worry that wouldn't shake them.
-x-
Hormones raging Peyton stared at the nursery, she had messaged Lucas twice in the last half an hour and received no reply, her husband had not come home yet and Peyton looked at the nursery with still so much left to do. Only a week to go, Peyton huffed and stepped forward, she ripped the plastic off the cot mattress and slipped the mattress into the cot.
It took Peyton a moment to lower the railing but then she went to retrieve the newly washed sheets she had done and quickly made the cot. The mobile was up, a few stuffed toys placed in, it didn't take Peyton long which made her anger burn at the thought Lucas hadn't found the time yet.
Next Peyton went to place the spare folded sheets, blankets and wraps away. The first drawer Peyton opened she found was already filled with tiny clothes and Peyton smiled, pleased that Lucas had already put away all the baby's clothes. Peyton eventually found a place for the wraps and then put the sheets and blankets in the blanket box.
Once that was done Peyton worked on placing the items Lucas had put in a small pile on the floor, she had already used some for the cot and then placed some toys in a chest and the rest of the stuffed toys on the top of the small bookshelf by the nursing chair.
With care Peyton removed the baby rocker and placed it in the living room, she added the play mat and a small box of toys to the baby corner she created and then returned to the nursey,
Satisfied Peyton placed her hands on her hips, she felt good, her body had done her well as she moved in ways she hadn't for weeks. For a moment everything appeared perfect, and then Peyton looked up towards the identical floating shelves up on the wall.
On the lower shelf there was an empty frame and on the other the frame Lucas had returned with after Noah's birthday party. Peyton hated it, she didn't understand why Lucas hadn't put it on his desk or in their bedroom, anywhere but in the bedroom her baby would sleep in. It was one simple thing Peyton hated about it, just looking at the birth certificate had Peyton's frustration bubble to the service. It was Brooke's name on it that had such strong emotions circling through Peyton, she did not want to have another's woman's name on display in her baby's room. The last thing Peyton wanted was to look up when she was feeding her own child and see Brooke's name displayed with such honour.
Without thinking much of it Peyton went to get something to help her, the first thing Peyton saw was the broom, she held it and lifting it up carefully tried to knock the frame down ready to catch the offending object.
Peyton almost knock the money box and overcompensating to jerk away from the money box she knocked the frame straight off quicker than she had expected. The frame came flying down at Peyton's head and Peyton instinctively stepped back, her foot hit something, her ankle rolled and in slow motion Peyton found herself falling.
Hands frantically trying to break her fall Peyton landed on her side, her eyes widened, she breathed carefully waiting for something, anything. After a few minutes Peyton stood, she felt fine, she ran her hands over her stomach where her precious child rested and felt the reassuring kicks of her baby.
With a large puff of air Peyton sighed with relief as the nervous butterflies in her stomach disappeared.
Ten minutes later the pain hit. Peyton breathed through it, she walked through the house searching for her phone, a wetness between her legs made her gasp but Peyton kept going to she felt the relief of the phone in her hands.
The first number Peyton dialled was Lucas yet it rang out with no answer and with a swear word Peyton dialled 911, she was alone and scared and cursing everyone and herself. Please, please, I'll do anything, just let me and my baby get through this.
-x-
It wasn't until Lucas offered to go get everyone a drink and snack that he realised he had left his wallet and phone in his car, and Brooke asked him to get her bag for her when he retrieved them.
Lucas walked as quick as he could, his mind on his mission when he heard his name being called as he neared the door, "Luke! Thank god you're here already" Nathan sounded frantic, "I knew Haley would reach you, come on" he grabbed Lucas' arm, "do you know what's happening with Peyton?"
A rush of alarm filled Lucas, "what do you mean? Where's Peyton?"
"You don't know?"
"I was here with Noah" Lucas became more frantic, "I forgot my phone, I was just getting it from my car, is Peyton alright? Is the baby alright?" his words melded together.
"I don't know, I detoured to the hospital when I got Peyton's call"
They were jogging by the time they reached emergency and they had been there only a few seconds when a familiar head of warm golden curls was wheeled in on a stretcher.
Lucas reached for Peyton's hand, "I'm here, I'm here. Everything is going to be okay"
"Sir, step away"
"Peyton's my wife" Lucas walked with them, his eyes met Peyton's wide and scared gaze, and she reached for his hand.
Their fingers were about to touch when Peyton was wheeled further away and Lucas was blocked from following, "your wife needs to an emergency caesarean and we need to help her, unfortunately you cannot be in there with her but someone will come talk to you as soon they can"
Nathan placed his hand on Lucas' shoulder as the blonde helplessly stood watching Peyton and their unborn baby disappear around a corner, leaving Lucas confused and scared.
It wasn't until Haley arrived that Lucas remembered the initial reason he came to the hospital, Haley took Lucas' keys and soon returned with his wallet and phone. In a daze Lucas took his things and then stared back in the direction Peyton had been taken.
Haley waited a moment before leaving Nathan and Lucas, she entered Noah's hospital room and Brooke immediately stood up, "Haley, what are you doing here?"
"Hi, Brooke, can we talk for a moment"
The tone of her voice and the expression on her face let Brooke know that something had happened, Brooke glanced at Noah, "I'll be just outside" and followed Haley out of the room, "what's going on?"
Haley handed Brooke her bag, "Peyton's here, she's having an emergency c-section. I don't know much but I know she was bleeding and called an ambulance"
"Oh my god" Brooke didn't know what to say, she covered her mouth in shock, "okay, you go back to them, let me know if you find out anything" and Brooke hugged Haley.
The feeling that had settled into Brooke's stomach rolled over, dread filled her.
-x-
Time moved around Lucas, people walked by him, Haley and Nathan talked to him, yet nothing processed. The world was a blur until Lucas heard Peyton's name and he stood, "I'm her husband" and fighting the urge to bite his fingernails Lucas followed the doctor.
When the doctor stopped again and faced Lucas he had a blank expression on his face that gave nothing away, and then he spoke, "your wife is in a stable condition, Peyton is still asleep at the moment and we will let her body heal a bit before we wake her up. She lost a lot of blood and a transfusion was needed but a full recovery is expected"
"And the baby?"
Something flickered in the doctor's eyes, "Were you informed Peyton had suffered from a placental abruption?" Lucas nodded at the question, he had been told not long after he'd seen Peyton wheeled away but nothing really made sense, the doctor continued, "What that means is the placenta had separated from the uterus, and when the placenta is compromised the foetus' supply of nutrients and oxygen is as well. By the time we were able to deliver the baby she had suffered asphyxia from lack of oxygen and was no longer breathing, we attempted to resuscitate her however our attempts were unsuccessful. The baby died, she was most likely dead before your wife reached the hospital"
"I'm sorry" Lucas mumbled, his hands going to the back of his head, "I'm sorry I don't understand how this happened" he looked around, "the baby died?"
"Yes"
Lucas licked his lips as everything sunk in, the doctors words went over in his head again, "it was a girl?"
"A little girl. You can see her, hold her, if you would like to?"
With a nod Lucas went with the doctor, the next room he was taken to felt cold but the cold came from inside Lucas as he saw the motionless, too quiet little body. They had wrapped her, she could be asleep if you didn't know better but the more Lucas looked at his daughter the more unnatural her state seemed.
He almost touched her but he pulled his hand back as the tears started, they fell until Lucas' body was dry and he didn't know if he could stand anymore but he didn't fall. Instead Lucas lifted his baby girl up and cradled her, the dreams of watching her grow faded away and the world seemed darker.
-x-
Waiting in their seats Nathan and Haley stood as soon as Lucas returned, they noticed the red eyes and pale skin, the slouch of his shoulders and their breaths hitched, their hopes dropping.
"Luke?" Haley asked.
Unable to say anything Lucas shook his head and the tears he thought were gone came again, Haley gasped and Nathan closed his eyes but they both went to hug Lucas pulling their brother in.
His shoulders shook, "the baby didn't make it" he sobbed and a long moment later, "my baby girl is gone" and Haley hugged him tighter.
Nathan was the one to ask about Peyton and Lucas pulled away, he wiped at his tears, and nodded, "she's going to be okay, yeah, she's going to be okay" he looked at them and then looked away, "how am I meant to tell her?"
"There's no right way" Haley rubbed Lucas' back and then with no other words to say she hugged her friend again.
-x-
The day had taken a dark turn and Brooke watched Noah sleeping, so young and innocent, and imagined losing him now with no hope of ever seeing him again. Even when Brooke had given birth and handed Noah over she had hope that one day, even if it was forty years in the future, she would see her son again. Brooke couldn't contemplate the idea Noah would just disappear with no chance of breathing the same air as him again. Just the thought caused an unbearable ache.
Her heart broke for Lucas and Peyton, guilt was under the grief and sadness, guilt that she was no longer the friend to be there for them. Brooked wanted to tell Peyton that nothing else mattered, she wanted to say so much, but it wasn't the words Brooke really wanted to say, all Brooke wanted to do was hold her friend's hand.
In the dark Lucas appeared in the doorway, Brooke knew he was there before he made any sound or before she turned to see him. Brooke could feel Lucas' presence as if his skin was touching hers but this wasn't the Lucas she knew. This broken man was a Lucas that Brooke had never seen before, not when Keith died, not at any other dark time in his life, something was missing.
"Hey" it wasn't enough but so many words unsaid went with that one word and Lucas couldn't cope with the emption in Brooke's voice and eyes.
"I just needed to see him" it was barely a whisper and Lucas stepped into the room.
Brooke got up, "of course, I'll leave you two alone"
He moved further into the room as Brooke left, she stopped at the door to look back and stared at his back. The urge to touch him, hug him, to just be there was so strong Brooke had to physically fight it, "I'm so sorry"
He didn't say anything but Brooke could see he nodded in acknowledgement and she left them alone. Lucas moved as close to the bed as he could, he say pulling the chair right next to the bed and touched Noah's skinny arm as he dropped his head.
Lucas needed to know that he still had something, a reason to live another day, some light amongst all the darkness that was fast consuming him. It had been a hard day and Lucas knew tomorrow would be harder, tomorrow would make it real.
-x-
Peyton's eyes opened and it took her a moment to catch up to the different surroundings, she looked around, eyes dancing around the room until she focused on one thing. Lucas she tried to speak but her mouth was too dry, her hand moved but fell back down.
Slowly the fog of her mind disappeared, reality began to sink in, Peyton felt different; lighter, empty. Her hand moved to her stomach which was soft instead of hard. Peyton licked her lips and Lucas quickly gave her a cup with a straw and when Peyton felt like she could speak her words at first slurred and then when they came only one thing was on her mind, "the baby? Where's our baby?" Peyton tried to look around the room but her body didn't feel like her own.
Peyton began to smile, "is she a girl?" the last month she had started to feel so sure it was a girl, she wanted her baby, "where is she?" her voice grew stronger.
Slowly her smile faded as Lucas kept looking at her, his mouth went to open but instead his eyes went down and Peyton felt her heart drop, "where is my baby?" she screamed though it broke in a cry.
"Peyton, I'm sorry-" Lucas began, his hand reaching out for her but Peyton moved hers away tried to turn away.
"No! No, don't you say it, don't you dare say it!"
"She didn't make it"
The scream had no sound, Peyton's body twisted, shooting back as if a force had collided with her and then the scream changed, the noise almost unhuman. The room became a blur of light, her ears rung drowning out all sound even her own scream, for Peyton her mind was on fire. And her arms and body were empty.
-x-
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