Yaz was kissing her. Yaz was kissing The Doctor. Was she dreaming? Was this actually happening? Yaz's lips were warm and gentle, applying subtle pressure but not invading. She was waiting for an acknowledgement, a response to let her know that this was okay.
Before The Doctor's brain properly caught up with her body, she could feel herself respond, chasing Yaz's lips when she felt Yaz begin to pull away. She raised a hand to cup Yaz's cheek, angling her face better so she could deepen their contact. Yaz seemed to take a breath in surprise, but responded in kind. She hooked her arm underneath The Doctor's good side, bringing her hand to rest on her friend's shoulder, pulling her in closer.
The Doctor knew she should put a stop to this. This was very dangerous territory for both of them. All logic was screaming at her to stop. But for once, The Doctor ignored logic. Screw responsibility. In this moment, she wanted Yaz, Yaz wanted her, and that was all that mattered.
Needing to breathe, Yaz pulled away momentarily, resting her forehead against The Doctor's.
'Wow,' she breathed out heavily. Just wow. That had been… incredible. She felt The Doctor drop her hand to Yaz's shoulder, gently caressing the cool skin.
'That's one word for it,' The Doctor responded, just as breathless as Yaz. She pulled her face away from Yaz's, wanting to see Yaz's full expression. The poor girl looked flustered, ruffled, bemused, but happy. The Doctor's hearts warmed. 'Am I that good?' She quipped, bringing in some of her usual Doctor charm. Yaz's smile grew.
'Wouldn't you like to know?' She retorted jovially. The Doctor grinned back at her, letting out a laugh.
'I think the evidence is right in front of me.' Yaz laughed, looking down briefly. Her laugh petered out, and then she glanced up again, this time shyly. The Doctor caught the shift in mood, and let her grin fall back to a small smile. They had some talking to do.
The Doctor reached out to take Yaz's hand in hers; a token to show that they were in this together. 'That was new,' she murmured.
'Was it a first? In this body?' Yaz asked apprehensively. The Doctor nodded, affirming what Yaz already knew. Yaz looked down at their hands, noticing that The Doctor's seemed to be trembling. 'Doctor, you're shaking!' The Doctor looked down to see that yes, she was in fact shaking.
'Would you look at that, I guess I am.' Yaz looked at her quizzically, concern clear all over her expressive face.
'Why?' Yaz scooted closer to The Doctor, putting her free arm around her, running her hand up and down her back. It was an attempt to warm her up. It was sweet, if a little misplaced. 'Are you cold?'
'I think its nerves,' The Doctor answered her. Yaz laughed.
'You're nervous?' Yaz said incredulously.
'Believe me, Yaz, I get nervous.' The Doctor swallowed, averting her gaze from Yaz momentarily. 'You seem to have that effect on me.'
'Me?'
'Yes you!' The Doctor glanced back up at her, trying to catch her gaze. Yaz's mouth fell open in surprise. The Doctor was the bravest person she knew, yet she was nervous around Yaz. In what universe was that even possible? Yaz laughed, trying to lighten the tension that was settling in again.
'I can see why. I am pretty terrifying!' The Doctor grinned at her.
'That you are, Yasmin Khan. Especially in the morning, when you haven't had your breakfast…'
'Oi! I'm not as bad as Graham!' The Doctor seemed to ponder that.
'Yeah, you're right. You're much worse.' She quipped, smiling at her companion. Yaz lightly tapped on her arm.
'Watch it you!'
'See, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Terrifying.' They both laughed at their ridiculous interchange. It was good to see that nothing seemed to have changed between them. At least, not for the worst. But what happens next? Neither of them was sure how to proceed. Unchartered territory.
'Doctor…' Yaz began, not sure where to begin. Sure, they had just kissed. But instead of making things simpler, everything suddenly seemed much more complicated. She tailed off, looking to The Doctor for help.
'Is it normal for platonic human friends to kiss each other?' The Doctor asked. Of course, The Doctor got to play the alien card. Yaz shook her head.
'Not really,' she answered, suddenly a little deflated at the use of 'platonic.' She knew that's what they were, but…
'That's good, then.' Yaz looked up in surprise.
'Good?' She was beyond confused.
'Yeah. We've never really been platonic, Yaz, have we?' Yaz's mouth dropped in response. Was The Doctor talking about emotions? Proper, human emotions? Were they actually going to address this thing between them? Yaz suddenly felt dizzy, and ill, and shocked. She wasn't sure what the correct response should be. The Doctor was looking at her with concern. 'Yaz?'
'I don't know what to say,' she replied honestly. This was the frankest they had ever been with each other, and she didn't want to give the wrong answer. The Doctor looked at her, frowning.
'Maybe we should save this conversation for another time,' The Doctor said, defeat clear in her shoulders. Yaz watched her friend, and didn't want to disappoint her. But equally, what if Yaz confessed the truth and she was rejected? Especially after that kiss, she couldn't go back to how it was before.
'No, no, wait. I'm just… scared,' Yaz admitted. The Doctor drew closer to her.
'What are you scared of Yaz?' The Doctor asked soothingly. She was trying to ease Yaz's anxiety, but her proximity clouded Yaz's thoughts. Yaz looked at her, expressive eyes trying to communicate what she couldn't.
'Can't you tell?'
'I'm not a mind reader, Yaz.'
'Actually, you kind of are…'
'Okay yes, I have telepathic abilities, but…'
'So I'm right!'
'Yes you are. And you are also deflecting.' Yaz sighed.
'I'm scared of getting it wrong.'
'Getting what wrong?'
'This.' Yaz made a gesture between the two of them. She gestured to her heart, before dropping her hand to her side. The Doctor scrutinised her again.
'You won't.' The Doctor stated confidently.
'You don't know what I want to say. That might change things,' Yaz whispered, looking away from The Doctor. There was a beat of silence, both being so, so careful as they negotiated their way in this new land. The Doctor glanced down, reached out her hand and took Yaz's wrist in it. Yaz instantly feel her heart rate pick up at the contact. She glanced down at her wrist, feeling The Doctor's cool fingers wrapped around it. Her eyes flicked up to The Doctor's, who was studiously taking in Yaz's wrist. 'Doctor, what are you doing?'
The Doctor's eyes met hers.
'Give me your hand, Yaz.' Yaz tentatively reached up her free hand, unsure as to what The Doctor wanted it for. The Doctor released Yaz's wrist, and took her other hand in her palms. Slowly, she pulled it towards her. Yaz just let her, intrigued to see where this was going. The Doctor brought Yaz's hand into her chest, and placed it firmly into the centre. Yaz felt herself blush, but didn't try to pull away.
'I don't understand.' She whispered nervously.
'Just feel,' The Doctor whispered back. Yaz focused, trying to understand this contact. It took her a few moments to realise that she could feel The Doctor's hearts beating. Fast and energetic, just like her ridiculous friend. They felt rhythmic, certain, safe. The Doctor took in a short breath, clearly on edge. 'They're beating pretty fast tonight.'
Yaz looked at her, her own heart rate picking up.
'That's because of you, Yaz.' The Doctor answered. Yaz moved a little closer to her and the beats beneath her fingertips became more frenzied. The Doctor let out a nervous laugh. 'See?'
Yaz nodded, totally captivated by the feeling. She inched even closer, bringing her other hand to gently brush The Doctor's neck, as if to look for more evidence. The Doctor reached out her hand slowly, attempting to mimic Yaz. She made contact with Yaz's neck, and yet again, her heart rate increased exponentially. Their eyes met, both truly beginning to realise their significance to each other. Yaz grinned brightly.
The air was thick with everything that was still unspoken, but finally being realised and acknowledged. Yaz desperately wanted to cave back in to The Doctor, to kiss her again, but before she could, they were rudely interrupted.
'Oi, what you doing in there? You're not supposed to be in there?' A bright light shone in their eyes, illuminating the small courtyard. A police officer, one Yaz had never met, had found them, and was making his way down the concrete steps. The Doctor and Yaz shared a look, then grinned. Now, this was something they were used to.
'When I get to three, follow me and run.' The Doctor counted down and bolted up. She grabbed Yaz's hand in the process, pulling her upwards. Yaz didn't know where they were going to go, but she trusted The Doctor completely. She would get them out of there.
They sprinted towards the other exit, away from the steps, and bolted through the gate. This led to a lower street, one Yaz hadn't ever been on. For some reason, The Doctor seemed to know where they were going. They raced through the night, with the irate officer on their tails. The Doctor let out a cackle as they sprinted, and Yaz couldn't help but laugh along with her. The whole situation was ridiculous. Like pretty much all their adventures.
The officer was beginning to slow down, but still wasn't letting up. They turned a corner, so he was temporarily out of view.
'Quick Yaz, in here!' The Doctor suddenly jerked her sideways into a narrow alleyway. She pushed Yaz ahead of her, before pushing her hard against the wall, into the shadows. She covered Yaz's body with her own. Yaz had a mouthful of The Doctor's hair caught between her lips, and tried to blow it out. The Doctor shushed her, pressing in even closer. The Doctor's head was tucked into Yaz's neck, and all Yaz could feel was The Doctor's breath coming out raggedly against her skin. Yaz swallowed, trying to suppress any inappropriate thoughts. This was torture.
They stood there for what felt like forever. Keeping silent, they were both listening out for the police officer. They heard him run past, then run back the other way. They could hear him cursing to himself, and Yaz had to suppress a laugh. The Doctor smiled against her skin, but kept perfectly still. Their hearts were ricocheting off each other, and they were both very aware of it.
Finally, the police officer disappeared, and they were safe. Since The Doctor had better hearing, Yaz waited on her friend to make the call. The Doctor glanced out towards the street, listened hard for a minute, and then grinned.
'All clear,' she murmured. Their eyes met again in street-lit shadows of the alley. Before allowing Yaz to leave, The Doctor looked at her, hunger apparent in her eyes. She eyed Yaz, from top to toe. Eyes settled longingly on her lips. Yaz felt heat pool in her stomach. She wasn't sure she would ever get used to The Doctor being like this. This time, it was The Doctor who acted on impulse. She moved forward, taking Yaz in her arms, and swooped in to capture her lips. Yaz was surprised, but very quickly melted into the wall behind her, as The Doctor pushed forward into her space.
This kiss was more fraught than their first one. This time, passion took hold as their lips met. Yaz felt heat flooding her veins, as she wrapped her arms tighter around The Doctor, pulling her in closer. The Doctor, who could never control her expressive hands, found themselves exploring; Yaz's back, Yaz's neck, Yaz's face. They had minds of their own.
Yaz's mind had gone blank. The Doctor's lips on hers was the best thing she had ever felt. She could get very used to this feeling. In a flash, her lips were suddenly cold, The Doctor's momentarily disappearing. Before she could complain, she could feel warm lips at the nape of her neck. Well, okay then. This was now the best thing she had ever felt.
The Doctor worked her lips just under Yaz's ear, feeling Yaz shudder beneath her. Yaz tossed her head back, allowing The Doctor better access. The Doctor grinned into her neck, letting her lips linger for a little longer.
'Yaz,' she whispered, which elicited another shiver from her companion. She felt Yaz nod against her. 'Time to go.' Yaz then shook her head slowly.
'Few more minutes, please.' She murmured. The Doctor kissed her again, softly this time. Yaz returned it, heart blooming with love at how gentle her friend was being with her.
'Later, let's get out of here.' Begrudgingly, Yaz let herself be led out of the alley by The Doctor, and into the cool Sheffield night.
Little did they know, that they were being watched. Watched from afar, but nonetheless, being watched, observed, and examined. They were coming. It was just a matter of time.