Disclaimer: same as the twenty six other times.

I've really struggled to find the time to complete this one, and when I did I found myself struggling to write more in what felt like wasted hours. And I took this week off work to help finish this chapter (and to watch GoT – but don't get me started there) and today I realised the reason I was struggling was there was nothing else to write. So this is a short chapter, making it longer would have only held off the inevitable.

I'm excited because now I can work on the next chapter, oh am I going to enjoy that. So much so that I am actually going to put a dagger to my throat (figuratively) and say this one will flow better from my finger tips and if you guys respond to this chapter (bonus points if you are a GoT fan) I will post the next chapter this weekend.

So thanks to everyone who reviewed and all those sticking with this fic, thanks for your patience and understanding.

-x-

Chapter Twenty-Seven

It was a day Lucas didn't want to wake up, though Lucas Scott had never been good at locking himself away inside, he needed distractions. The closer it came the harder Lucas worked, he'd edited his first draft until seven in the morning and then exhaustion had finally forced Lucas to sleep.

And then he woke up, half the day was gone, he forced himself to eat and then showered, never looking at his phone.

Then he ran.

Lucas ran until he couldn't anymore, he finally stopped and looked around; he'd left Tree Hill's borders long ago. Physically exhausted Lucas sat down upon a nearby log, burying his face in his hands. The tears came, his chest burned with the pain, Lucas felt as helpless as he had a year ago and it swallowed him whole.

The memories came again, Lucas stood, turned around and started running back to town, his whole body ached but the pain was a relief. The pain was a distraction.

-x-

The pain twisted inside Brooke with each step she took, dulled by the painkillers but not absent, she bit the inside of her lip and reached high for the new medication her doctor had prescribed her in New York.

"I don't know why you don't have the surgery" Haley shook her head where she perched on the stool at the kitchen counter.

"It just seems so extreme" Brooke tried to laugh it off, "and it's gotten better, heaps better, today is the first day and it's always worse but tomorrow I'll be fine". She swallowed the tablets and turned back, "I shouldn't have eaten lunch, so regretting that decision"

"Do you want me to pick Noah up for you today?"

"No, I'll be fine" she shrugged, "we've got plans"

Haley gave Brooke a curious look, after a pause she linked her hands and rested her chin on them as she looked at Brooke, "are you free tonight? I thought you and Noah could come over for dinner"

"You're not sick of me yet?" Brooke chuckled as she joined Haley and sat down, adding casually "not cooking does sound good".

"I have a better idea, I'll organise the food and bring Jamie here, and you can sit and relax"

"It's a date. What's Nathan up to tonight?"

Haley sighed and she rolled her dark eyes, "Clay's taking him out"

It hurt too much to laugh, Brooke fought the urge at Haley's expression, she relaxed her body "he's not a bad guy, you know"

"Right, and the fact he's your toy boy doesn't cloud your judgement" Haley scoffed.

"Actually…" Brooke drawled, "We dropped the benefits from friends with benefits a while ago. And, believe it or not, a lot of the time we just talk"

Haley laughed, "You talk? What do you possibly talk about?"

With a shrug Brooke averted her eyes, "we have more in common than you think" she looked at Haley, "he's one of the good guys, Haley, and he has a good heart. It's just a little broken too"

A sarcastic comment came to Haley though it didn't pass her lips, she was drawn in by Brooke's seriousness, instead Haley nodded and smiled, more than anyone else she trusted Brooke and knew her friend was one of the last people around to easily trust a man's heart.

"Speaking of hearts and that, have a told you the latest on tornado Taylor?" Haley smirked while Brooke leant forward waiting to hear the latest gossip, and the change of subject did the job. The two settled into easy conversation until it was time to part.

Feeling better Brooke started her car with an easy stomach and anticipation, instead of getting out of the car, like she usually did when she picked Noah up, Brooke stayed in her seat as she waited for her son.

Noah appeared after the crowd of children thinned, he carried a pile of books in his arms, and Brooke exited the car without a second thought. Her cramps making an appearance as the mother made her way to her son and took the books, "how was school today?"

"Good" Noah walked to the car without adding anything more to his answer.

Brooke was used to Noah when he was not in the mood for conversation, she followed him and once they were both buckled in she looked at her son with an understanding smile, "you still okay with going?"

He gave a single nod and then looked out the window, his green eyes lost in thought.

-x-

Fresh from his shower Lucas dressed in clean, crisp clothes, and when he did up the last button and looked at himself in the mirror he didn't take in how the blue of his shirt made his eyes pop, or that he needed to shave. Lucas sighed and turned away from his reflection, all he saw was a lost man.

All he needed was his keys and wallet, Lucas left the house again, this time by car. After one quick stop he arrived at the cemetery and reached for the flowers he's just bought, with the bouquet in hand Lucas took the solemn walk he knew by heart.

Lucas paused by a tree to look up at his destination and he froze unable to take a step further at the sight that greeted him.

Even from behind and so far away Lucas recognised Brooke's form, she knelt by Keith's grave, she sat with her legs to one side on the edge of Keith's grave, her head tilted and Lucas knew she was speaking to his uncle's headstone.

Still, Brooke's body was facing their sons direction; Noah knelt by the white headstone, his head bowed.

For a moment all Lucas could do was watch them silently, it wasn't long before Brooke turned her head and saw him. Her surprise quickly turning to empathy, she stood with a quick word to Noah and met Lucas half way.

Brooke stopped her hand from reaching for Lucas, "Hi" she greeted Lucas then checked on Noah before continuing, "I'm sorry if we're in your way, if you would like to be alone I'll-"

"Stay" Lucas grabbed for Brooke's hand, his eyes searching hers, "please. She's his sister too and I'm…" he choked up, "just thank you for bringing Noah"

Together they walked to join Noah, as they got closer Lucas noticed a brightly wrapped present Noah had with him, he sent Brooke a questioning look.

"Every year on Noah's birthday I would buy him a gift, something I imagined he would like. I couldn't give them to him so I donated each present every year to a child in need, it helped me on one of the hardest days of the year, and I thought it could help Noah too and remind him of his little sister who watches over him"

"I like that" Lucas smiled.

They walked in silence after that and then Lucas knelt down beside Noah, his hand lifted to run across his daughter's name.

He had chosen a simple headstone, engraved with her name, the date of her stillbirth and a quote his mother had helped him pick. It had all felt surreal back then, and it still did a year later.

"Dad's here too" Noah spoke; he looked to his father and then placed his small hand on Lucas' shoulder, with a squeeze of comfort.

Lucas replaced the dead flowers with the new bouquet, this time he had gone for a combination of pink flowers including pale roses.

"Mom said I should speak to Sawyer, that she can hear me where ever she is" Noah seemed unsure.

Lucas paused before rubbing Noah's shoulder and he looked from the sky to the grave, "happy birthday, Baby-girl. I miss you, I miss you every day but one more so than today-" and Lucas talked, and then he talked some more, with Noah inching closer to him.

Close but apart, Brooke stood watching over Lucas and Noah, she wasn't close enough to hear what they were saying but she could hear the soft tones of Lucas' voice and Brooke smiled, slightly sad yet hopeful that Lucas was taking another step towards healing.

And then they laughed, the gentle chuckles of father and son blended effortless together. The sun suddenly came out as the clouds shifted above and Brooke's mind went back to the child they had all lost the chance of knowing, and she wondered if Sawyer was somewhere else now safe with her grandmothers and great uncle, all them together without pain, guardian angels to their loved ones below.

Brooke blinked at the unfairness that Lucas had lost his daughter before he ever really had a chance to have her, for the pain that had her oldest friend leave everything she knew, for the innocent child that never got to experience all the highs and lows of growing up. Yet it made Brooke extra conscious of how grateful she was for a second chance with the son she'd almost missed out on, that each day was a gift.

-x-

The engine had barely stopped when Jamie unbuckled his seatbelt and pulled open the car door, he jumped out, and leaving his mother he raced to his aunt's front door.

Haley grumbled as she struggled to carry the food yet inwardly her heart warmed at her son's excitement. By the time she joined Jamie he had already repeatedly pressed the doorbell, Haley sent her son a look and he quickly snatched his hand back before he could press it again.

The door opened and Haley almost jumped in surprise at Lucas standing barefoot in Brooke's entrance way, "hello stranger, I didn't expect you here" and she stepped towards Lucas, Haley placed a kiss on his cheek and the way she touched his arm as he took the food from her spoke louder than words.

Lucas gave a nod, his eyes saying he was doing as well as he could be, "come on in, Brooke's just having a rest. Hey, Jamie, why don't you go let Aunt Brooke know dinner is here"

"Be gentle" Haley warned as Jamie ran off, "and walk inside!" she added. Jamie gave a huff but changed his pace.

"Where's Noah?" Haley asked as she followed Lucas towards the kitchen.

"Upstairs, doing his homework." Lucas reached the counter and unpacked the containers; he sniffed the air, "Is this your vegetarian lasagne?"

"Yes it is. It's one of Brooke's favourites" Haley took over unpacking, finding the plates and cutlery. Once the table was set Haley looked at Lucas, her eyes wide, "I'm glad you're here"

"Me too" Lucas suddenly choked up, "it's been a hard day"

"We're all here for you" Haley promised, "for all your hardest days"

Lucas reached out and hugged Haley, pulling her as close as he could, he closed his eyes, "thank you for being my best friend. For everything you do for me and for my son, and for Brooke" he pulled slightly away, "it means a lot"

"Of course, we're family"

They embraced again, this time for longer, until Brooke's husky voice interrupted them, "that smells amazing".

Haley stepped away from Lucas and motioned for Brooke to sit down, "get yourself comfortable" and she narrowed her eyes at Lucas next, "you too" she pointed her finger at her brother-in-law and the two other adults complied, taking their seats at the nearby table.

"Not you" Haley stopped Jamie as he took a seat, she smiled at her young son, "Noah's in his room-"

"Yeah, yeah" Jamie rolled his eyes and slipped off the seat, he left the room with a huff as the adults chuckled. Haley reached for a bottle of wine and three glasses, and then she poured her friends a drink each and looked into their shadowed eyes, each haunted by different pains.

Lucas held the glass to his lips before he took his first sip, his eyes meeting the deep red liquid, he glanced up to meet Brooke's gaze and she gave him a small smile. A smile quirked his lips and Lucas took the sip.

It had been a long day, Lucas had woken alone reinforcing the emptiness of what the day represented, and now he was surrounded by reminders that he was not alone.

After the glass was placed down Lucas' mind wandered elsewhere, for the first time in a long time Lucas thought of Peyton, and it surprised him how he hadn't thought of her sooner. He hoped she wasn't alone today, he hoped Peyton had something to give her even a small piece of happiness.

The boys joined them, and Haley placed the last dish on the table and took her own seat, her hands reached out to signal the beginning of saying grace. Lucas felt Brooke's fingers curl around his own, the familiar tingle ran up his arm, and Noah took his other hand.

Lucas closed his eyes, a realisation settling over his tired body. Even gripped by painful grief, even with his sorrow threatening to drown him, Lucas realised he wasn't unhappy.

-x-