Disclaimer: blah blah I don't own one tree hill or the characters blah blah you know the drill blah blah.

Thank you for the reviews and the love, and here is the next chapter… A/N at the end. Shhh spoilers.

Chapter Thirty-Three

The blank look in Brooke's eyes, the way her expression tightened in thought every few moments, gave her distraction away. Brick shook his head, "you're a million miles away" he chuckled.

"Sorry" Brooke apologised, "I was listening… mostly" she meekly defended herself, her eyes sparkled at her friend, "you were talking about… what's his name?"

"Greg" his lip twisted in distaste.

"Horrible name" Brooke agreed, "am I sensing jealousy?"

Brick went to answer though a large bang from elsewhere in the house had both parents pause and look in the direction, "should we check on them?" Brooke asked.

He shook his head, "the boys are fine"

"How is a English assignment so loud?" Brooke asked in a strange whisper, she took a sip of her water and frowned. She'd felt off all day, Brooke wanted to curl up in bed and forget that it was day time however Noah had been looking forward to his study date with Zane and Brooke had been looking forward to a catch up with Brick. Out of all the parents at the school Brooke felt most comfortable with Brick Mirskey, and his turbulent relationship with his ex-wife made Brooke feel hers wasn't as dramatic, at least sometimes.

Her mind turned to Lucas, their phone call last night had felt more natural, she could hear the happiness in his voice and Brooke wanted to run to him, jump into his arms and tell him everything about how she felt. This time Brooke wanted everything she didn't have when she was expecting Noah, most of all she wanted Lucas with her.

It all still felt so new, Brooke wondered if it was fair on Lucas and Noah, and then she reminded herself that what was done was done and as unexpected as a new baby was it was still happening.

"So, tell me more about Jeff" Brooke forced herself back into her present and Brick sighed.

"Greg. I know you're distracted, why don't you talk and I'll listen" and he took a bite of a carrot stick from the platter between them.

Brooke shook her head, "nope, come on, mister, fess up" and she listened this time, forcing herself to pay attention as Brick told his story.

By the time they left Brooke's nausea was increasing, when they got home her stomach felt like it was in knots and Brooke excused herself.

Alone Noah went up to his room, the house oddly quiet, he expected his mother to be back when he returned downstairs with a book, or at least Noah expected to hear her playing music.

The silence sounded strange to Noah, he looked in the kitchen and sunroom, and then the library where he often found Brooke going over work.

"Mom?" Noah called out, his dimples more on show as he frowned, "Mom?" Noah pushed Brooke's door open wider, and he heard a groan. The boy's face paled when he saw his mother spread on the floor, most of her body lay against the tiles of the bathroom, one arm and the top of her head passed the doorway.

"MOM!" Noah screamed, his legs moved faster than they had ever before and he grabbed for his mother's clammy hand, his eyes searched her over. Through the fear Noah recognised his mother was breathing, "I'll be back" he promised her and left her side in search of help.

Brooke's cell phone was still in her purse and Noah called 911 as he sprinted back to his mother's side, his voice high pitched with worry as he answered every question he could as his mother lay silent.

There was a feeling in the pit of the boy's stomach, a pain he'd never felt before and couldn't name, Noah squeezed Brooke's hand and silently begged for his mother.

-x-

The quiet street suddenly lit up; Haley still smiled in the rear-view mirror at her son in the back seat as she took note of the ambulance coming down her street in the opposite direction. Instinct had Haley slow down, the mother passed the speeding emergency vehicle and was already putting the thought of it behind her, she was about to ask Jamie a question when in the mirror she noticed Jamie's eyes following the ambulance "Mom?" the boy said, his blue eyes looked confused and Haley suddenly slammed on her breaks as she turned her head and took in what driveway the ambulance had turned into.

Haley's heart skipped a beat, she reversed down the otherwise empty street and parked next to the ambulance. The first responders had already left their vehicle and Haley instructed her young son to wait by the car as she raced for Brooke's front door, she could see Noah standing not far from Brooke's room, "NOAH!" Haley called her nephew's name and the boy turned, his face lacked colour, his pupils so large his eyes looked black, and Haley was struck by the look of fear on the boy, "what's going on?"

The cell phone dropped from Noah's dangling hand as Haley scooped the scared boy up, "something is wrong with Brooke" he mumbled against her and Haley placed his feet back on the ground, her hands on his shoulder.

"Is she in her room?" Haley asked and Noah nodded, "okay, stay here" Haley went towards the room.

Two EMT's were over Brooke, Haley was shocked to see her friend with her eyes barely open, her face clenched in pain, "she's incoherent" one of the EMT's spoke to the other, then they noticed Haley.

The half-truth slipped from Haley instantly, "I'm her sister-in-law" and her eyes spied the blood coming from Brooke, "ohmygod, she's pregnant!" Haley rushed out, "is she losing the baby?"

The female EMT sent the male one a look, "tubal eruption" she whispered and the man swore, he picked Brooke up bridal style, carrying her as is she was as light as a feather.

Haley followed them out of the room and jogged after them, grabbing Noah's hand they followed Brooke to the ambulance.

"Aunt Haley," Noah asked as Brooke was carried inside, "where are they taking my Mom?"

"I-" Haley faltered, her mind was spinning at the turn of events, "I'll find out"

One of the EMT's gave the name of the nearest hospital, "are you alright with your nephew?" she asked quickly and at Haley's nod the door shut and the siren started again.

"What's going on?" Jamie shouted from where he stood by Haley's car, he looked more confused than the others.

Unable to answer Haley simple watched as her best friend was driven away, "everything's going to be okay" she promised the boys, her voice shook but she sent them a tight smile and then buckled them both into her car, by the time she was leaving the driveway the ambulance was out of sight.

-x-

Ashen Brooke lay in the bed, she wasn't in pain, she could barely feel her body at all, her mind was a fog and her ears were ringing as she listened to the doctor.

His lips stopped moving and Brooke blinked, she looked away, "Miss Davis… Miss Davis… your family is still waiting for news" he finished when Brooke looked back to him.

"Let them in" Brooke whispered and then she called the doctor back, "do they know?"

"We've kept your case confidential as your next of kin hasn't arrived yet"

"My mother is in New York" Brooke mumbled thankful she had never changed that detail, she blinked rapidly again, "I don't want them to know anything, except that I'm okay"

"As you wish" the doctor left the room and Brooke lifted the bed so she was in a sitting position and stared out the window unseeing,

Brooke was numb, her emotions on pause, everything the doctor kept saying replayed over and over in her head.

A sound at the doorway caught Brooke's attention and her head turned, her eyes went straight to Noah who stood frozen as his eyes met his mother's and suddenly his composure crumbled, his shoulders sagged and his whole face fell as tears started to fall unashamedly from his face.

Noah ran forward and Brooke leant over her hospital bed, her arms already out to reach for her son. As their arms wrapped around each other and Brooke felt Noah's tears begin to wet her neck she realised that in the two years Noah had lived with her Brooke had never seen the boy cry until now.

And then her own tears joined Noah's and Brooke rocked her son in her arms, "I'm okay, everything is going to be okay"

Focused on her son Brooke didn't realise they weren't alone until she felt a hand touch her free shoulder, she knew that touch, and then another hand tangled their fingers in her loose hair as a pair of lips brushed a kiss atop her head.

"Brooke" her name was barely above a whisper and Brooke sighed as she allowed herself a moment of being held by both Lucas and Noah. A moment she knew couldn't last.

From between the father and son Brooke lifted her eyes and saw Haley still by the door, watching them, and as Brooke's broken eyes met her friends, comprehension hit Haley and the other woman's bottom lip dropped and then she closed her eyes before she mouthed, I'm so sorry.

Untangling herself from their arms Brooke wiped at her tears, "I'm okay, really, I'm fine" and her eyes locked on Haley as she said the next words, "looks like I had to speed up seeing the doctor again for... for my endometriosis" and her face turned to Noah next and words failed her, Brooke gave her son a closed lip smile and hugged him again.

"You had us all scared" Lucas chuckled in relief, the stress begun to leave him as he could see and touch Brooke right in front of him. His hands stayed touching her and he couldn't bring himself to let go, Lucas' heart had beat rapidly the minute Haley had called him and hadn't stopped until he'd heard Brooke's voice and been able to hold her.

Unable to look at Lucas, Brooke avoided his eyes, "you know me, I have to keep you all on your toes" and Brooke ruffled Noah's hair, "I guess you get to stay at your dads for a few nights"

"Of course," Lucas covered Brooke's hand with his own, he frowned when she moved her own away a second later, "for as long as you need" he reassured her.

They stayed in the room for another twenty minutes, Noah carefully spread next to his mother, Lucas stood by the bed ignoring the chair available for him while Haley took a seat and remained mostly quiet.

Eventually Brooke told Lucas to take Noah home, that the hospital wasn't a place for their son, he didn't want to leave though Brooke didn't give him much choice. Conscious of Haley not far away Lucas simply bent over Brooke and kissed her forehead, his lips lingered a moment too long, though he kept it chaste and gave a quiet goodbye and promise he would return the next day.

Haley gave a show of leaving and fifteen minutes later when she returned Brooke was not surprised by her friend re-entering the room and gingerly sitting on the side of the bed. Her finger's brushed Brooke's hair back, "I'm so sorry, Tigger" she fell into the old nickname, "why didn't you tell Lucas?"

"What was the point, there's no baby anymore, he's already lost one child and the last thing he needs is to lose another"

"Oh Brooke, if not for him then for you. Lucas should be by your side"

"That's the problem" Brooke frowned and she looked away to stare out the window again, "I don't want him by my side, I can't do that to him, not anymore, the last thing Lucas needs is to be tied down to me"

Haley was shocked, "Brooke, he loves you and you love him. Don't shut him out now when you need Luke the most"

At her words Brooke broke down in more tears, "I can't. Lucas wants more kids, he's always wanted more kids, a real family and I c-c-can't give him that"

"What do you mean?"

"My fallopian tubes are so badly scarred the doctor said it was a miracle I fell pregnant this time and even…" Brooke shook her head in pain, trying to process everything the doctors had told her, "it was ectopic, it was never going to survive, the pregnancy ruptured one of my fallopian tubes… if… if Noah hadn't found me when he did and called for help I would have died, Haley. The one I've got left is even more badly scarred, I won't fall pregnant again" her face turned hard.

Not knowing what to say Haley simply hugged her friend as Brooke turned her face away. Brooke had known she shouldn't have let herself hope, she should have known the world wouldn't have let her have everything she wanted. And though it might have not been rational to others Brooke could not take the same chances away from Lucas, she loved him too much and all she wanted was for him to find happiness even if it meant it wasn't with her.

-x-

It had been a long night, Lucas though exhausted had not been able to sleep, his mind firmly set on Brooke and on comforting their son as Noah dealt with the trauma of the day. How close mother and son had become in the years since their reunion, how essential Brooke had become to Noah, had never been so clear. Noah hadn't been able to settle and Lucas had stayed with Noah until eventually the lanky boy had fallen asleep on the couch, his body sprawled over his father. Lucas had carried Noah to bed only for Noah to cling onto him so Lucas had taken Noah instead to his own large bed and stayed close to his son until sleep finally claimed his own body.

After only a couple of hours of restless sleep, Lucas had woken, despite the time Lucas didn't wake Noah. Time ticked on, Lucas didn't question his decision to allow Noah to skip school that day, he kept his own mind and body distracted cleaning up as Noah caught up on his sleep.

The next day Noah went to school, it gave Lucas the chance to visit Brooke in hospital without Noah, they stopped by in the morning and then Lucas returned, flowers, treats and a balloon in his hands.

Brooke gave Lucas a reluctant smile when she saw the offering, "did you leave anything in the gift shop?"

"A few things" he shrugged, Lucas placed his gifts down and brushed a kiss against Brooke's lips. For a moment he rested his forehead against hers and breathed in her scent, "have I told you how happy I am that you're okay?" he whispered.

Unseen Brooke's lashes fluttered, "I few times" she replied quietly, her tone sad, "you know, you don't have to do all this" she told Lucas when he straightened up. Lucas brushed off the comment and pulled the chair as close to the bed as he could, his hand reached for Brooke's the moment he sat.

"I want to" he told her and smiled, the smile fell after Brooke gently tugged her hand away, she folded her hands together casually though Lucas frowned. It wasn't the first time she'd avoided his touch or his eyes.

"I know I was meant to… give us space" Lucas leant forward, hope in his eyes, "and this isn't the most ideal location for this conversation but I want this, I want you, us, every good and bad thing that comes with it. I want to be here for you, you're always here for me every time, when my dreams come true and when it all falls apart. It's always you" his eyes lit up, "I've tried to fight it, I did it in high school, hell I wrote a boom trying to convince myself you weren't the girl for me. I said I do to two women, great women who I loved but none of them could give me…" he searched for the right words, his hands in front of him as emotion filled Lucas, the words came "this sense, make me feel this crazy and so at home all at the same time. I could never figure out what it was that was missing but it was you"

Brooke's eyes widened, her heart had begun to beat faster, but one word screamed inside her. No.

"I love you, Brooke. I don't think I ever really stopped. I don't need time or space, I want my future to be with you, I don't want to waste another day hiding how I feel" he gave a chuckle, "I love you so much"

Her head shook the slightest and Lucas felt his smile begin to waiver, she shook her head a little stronger "I can't do this again, Luke, not after all these years. We got caught up in the… in the past and being a family with Noah but… it's not real" something inside Brooke rolled over as she forced herself to say the words, and the heartbroken woman pulled every insecurity she'd ever had to the surface to get through the moment.

"Br-"

"Maybe you love me, or maybe you're in love with being in love and… I'm just here, ready made family with me and… and we can't go back and forth anymore, not when Noah's heart is on the line too this time. It's better we end it now before anyone knows, before anything has to change"

Lucas frowned, "what?" it's already changed.

He stared at her in shock, no more words could form and for Lucas it was like he was back in high school, sitting in his bedroom watching Brooke Davis walk away from him after saying she'd stopped missing him.

The words failed him now just as they had then.

Into the too still silence Brooke finally met Lucas' eyes, her pupils had grown so large her hazel orbs appeared black, "All those times I was there for you… did you ever-" Brooke paused, tears had formed in the corner of her eyes, she stopped and then restarted, "You were never the one there for me".

A look of heartbreak crossed Lucas' face as realisation dawned on him, a deep sense of regret filled him and Lucas knew in many ways Brooke was right. Guilt had his heart twist inside his chest, as Lucas imagined a broken and battered Brooke alone in her store the night she was attacked, and he wondered how many other moments he wasn't there for.

Brooke knew she wasn't entirely being fair, there were many times Lucas had been there for her and he'd been the first person to really see Brooke beyond the facade years ago, still the pain of the times she'd wanted him, needed him, and he hadn't been an option stood out inside her mind.

"If you let me-" Lucas pleaded, "-I'll never let that happen again."

Without answering Brooke turned her face away, the move hid her tears that unashamedly fell down her cheeks.

As he sat Lucas could hear her crying, he could feel the pain emanating from Brooke and something inside Lucas faltered, a tightening begun in his chest, and he got that sense of feeling again that he was the teenage boy being left alone in his room, with a broken heart, no words to fix it and the girl he loved telling him she doesn't want him. Or that's how it felt.

-x-

AN: I thought best get this out of the way so hopes don't go up. I feel like some readers would have seen it coming, I mean I did specifically say I wanted to tackle Brooke's infertility (her being happily pregnant doesn't exactly do that). This was always the plan for the story, for Brooke to have an ectopic pregnancy. I'm not sure it lived up to what my mind wanted and well in true BL fashion they took some steps forward and then totally tripped and fell backwards. Have faith, because in my world people who belong together always find their way in the end and BL just have to have some growth and have insecurities to work through before they can have their happily ever after. Besides losing this baby just mean they're gonna have to work harder at making babies in the future, and when it happens it will be on their terms.