They're going to Boston. That's the first thing Santana remembers when she wakes up. They're going to Boston, and Brittany is bringing her into her world. They're going to Boston, and Santana's whole belly is full of butterflies.

When she rolls over in bed, she realizes that Brittany isn't there. Anxiety shoots through her at the thought that she left, that maybe she changed her mind. That she could have left already for Boston, without her. The thought of it makes her feel a little sick, but then, then she smells coffee, and no matter how much she loves that smell, she's certain she's never been so glad to smell it in all her life.

Wrapping a sheet around herself, Santana goes into the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, she sees her tousled hair, and she brushes her fingers over the purple marks on her neck. It makes her smile a little, the reminder of the way Brittany loves her. It makes her smile, even as she opens the medicine cabinet and swallows her pills.

Once her face is washed and her teeth are brushed, Santana pulls on sweatpants and a t-shirt and goes into the kitchen. Brittany sits at the table in jeans and one of Santana's t-shirts, sipping coffee and reading an old issue of the American Journal of Medicine. Santana's heart flutters at the sight of her, so comfortable in her home, and she pauses for several seconds, just to stare at her.

"How long have you been up?" Santana looks at the clock, seeing that it's only just after eight.

"My mom called at 6:15, Li was up and wanted to know when I was coming. I took a shower, hope you don't mind I used your blowdryer."

"Oh. Yeah, no, uh…not at all. You could have woken me up if you wanted to go earlier."

"I didn't." Brittany smiles, closing her magazine and standing up to kiss Santana. "Number one, you looked really cute sleeping, and number two, I didn't want to leave until after rush hour."

"I want to take a really fast shower before we go, but other than that—"

"Sit." She pulls out the chair beside her own. "Enjoy your coffee. While you're in the shower, I'm going to run down and get bagels, but don't rush."

"But Liam—"

"Is fine. I miss him like crazy, but if we leave any time before ten, it's going to be a nightmare. Also—" Brittany pour a cup of coffee and sets it down on the table, then kisses Santana again. "Hi, good morning. You taste like toothpaste."

"Better toothpaste than last night's gin."

"I love you." Brittany smiles, and Santana gets butterflies, still, every time.

"I love you too, Britt."

Santana takes a shower. She tries to hurry, so she doesn't keep Brittany waiting. She knows that she said she wasn't in a rush, but still. It's been nearly a week since Brittany had seen her son, it's been nearly a week since Liam has seen his mama, and she just doesn't want to hold up their reunion at all. When she gets out, she pulls her hair back in a ponytail and pulls on jeans and a sweater. She's trying to look casual, but she spends just a little more time putting on her makeup, just a little more time remembering to put on jewelry. It's just an overnight visit, but she throws three outfits into her bag. She tucks her medication into her makeup bag. She checks herself over and over again, making sure she has everything she needs. So she's a little neurotic, that's her thing, and at least, at the very least, Brittany has come to expect that of them.

They walk together to Brittany's garage. On her trip to the bagel store, Brittany had brought Santana back the world's largest coffee. With one hand tucked into Brittany's jacket pocket, Santana uses the other to lift the cup to her lips. Autumn in New York is a cheesy concept, it always makes Santana think of that movie with Catherine Zeta Jones and Julia Roberts, where they made fun of the original movie. It's cheesy, but maybe, walking down the street with her hand in Brittany's pocket, leaves changing colors around them, she kind of sort of likes it a lot.

Brittany puts their bags in the trunk. Santana shivers a little when she gets in the car, thinking that with all her frantic packing, she probably should have brought a heavier jacket. Brittany notices. She always does, and that's something that will probably never cease to make Santana swoon. She notices, and she reaches across the console, turning the heated seats on, before squeezing Santana's thigh. She doesn't know how she's like this, she doesn't know why she's like this, but she's stopped asking. She's stopped asking, and she's just basking in the fact that someone loves her like this, no matter how undeserving she is.

"Did you, uh, wanna talk?" Santana asks after a while of silence, her hand nestled between Brittany's legs, and her eyes never leaving her. She's still certain she's terrible at these mature sort of conversations, but it's Brittany and she knows her decision about Liam must be eating her alive.

"We can if you want. I don't want to drag you into this, if you don't want to be."

"I meant what I said last week." She swallows. "You're not dragging me in. I don't want to step on your toes or anything, but being with you means that your kid is important. I want you to tell me stuff…you know, if you want me to know."

"I do want you to know." Brittany takes Santana's hand from between her legs and kisses her wrist. "I just don't want you to force you into something you don't want to be part of. When we were taking about the past last night, I was thinking how it's part of mine. Not just one person either. You're the only person I've wanted to be serious with after I got custody of Liam and my engagement went to shit, because you're the only person who's recognized his presence as a given."

"Well I always want it to be that way." For a moment, she purses her lips in thought, and she sees how Brittany's face softens. "I…uh….never mind."

"What?" She cocks her head to the side, one eye on the road, and the other on Santana.

"I mean, it doesn't have to be a thing or anything, and I really, really mean what I just said about toes, or whatever, and I know your mom takes Liam, and that's when your parents get to see him and stuff. But like, if you ever needed me, or wanted me to keep him when you go away, or get him from daycare if you have to work late, I…I don't mind or anything." Santana feels her palms start to sweat, and she wipes the hand not in Brittany's grasp on her jeans. "You know, if you want."

"You'd really do that?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I? I'm usually just sitting around when we don't work the same schedule. Liam could sit around with me, or we could go out and do stuff, whatever."

"Wow, I really love you." Santana barely hears it, the way Brittany lets the words out in a breath, but she can see on her face that she's happy about it. "You don't even know."

"I just want to make things…I dunno, easier, or something. And I mean it when I say I enjoy having him around."

"I know you mean it, and that's what means so much. You're so much more special than you know."

"I'm not really anything but just me."

"You are what's so special." Brittany takes a moment, and Santana continues to look at her, bits of Rhode Island whizzing past beyond the window. "I'm really so grateful that you told me about Liz, Santana. Her giving me options really made me evaluate my own feelings. You know, I'm not the kind of parent who's going to sit here like what a tragedy, my kid won't be able to play baseball."

"I know that."

"But you know what, Liam likes baseball! He loves putting on his Sox jersey and watching the games with me. The day my dad took us all to Fenway for opening day was the best day of his life. What if he wants to play baseball? Or paint? Or climb rocks? Or…I don't know, any other thing that he needs his dominant hand for. What if I spend a year with him and a new physical therapist, and there's still no improvement? Then he's another year behind. I just don't think I could live with myself if I didn't do everything I could to give him every opportunity."

"I get that. I mean, we're surgeons, fix things with surgery, right?" Santana sucks in a breath, thinking of all the times she's considered fixing her own situation with surgery, considers all the times she's chickened out.

"You know, I don't know if it's selfish of me, but I would never put him under the knife again for his burns." Brittany murmurs, and she squeezes Santana's hand, like she just knows. "If he chooses to, when he's older, I would never not support him, but he's my beautiful boy. I love everything about his face."

"You're a really good mom." A lump forms in Santana's throat, and she turns away, looking out her window, just…considering. "He's so lucky to have you."

"I'm all he's got. I have to do my very best work. There's no second chance."

"No. You're right. There's not."

The rest of the way, Santana is quiet. She drinks her coffee, she peeks over at Brittany occasionally, but she's quiet. Brittany is the only person she's ever met with whom she can do this. With whom she doesn't feel the need to fill empty air with words. She can think, she can consider, and she doesn't have to worry that she'll be judged for it.

When they get to Boston, Santana is entranced. She's been here a few times in her life—for a conference her father ran once, and dragged her too while she was in college, on a school trip to Plymouth and Boston Harbor, with her mother when she was really young, to see one of her old college friends—but for all intents and purposes, it's an uncharted city. It's uncharted, and yet, it's Brittany's. It the place where this woman she loves so deeply was born and raised. Like her story is etched in the cobblestone, written on red brick walls. It's Brittany's city, and for that reason, Santana will bury any negative memories of the place.

"We're here." Brittany pulls up in front of a brick front house with a perfectly manicured lawn. Almost on cue, Santana sees a little face peek out the window, and before she can even open the door, Liam, followed by Pierce Pierce, is bounding down the steps.

"Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!" Liam cheers, bolting toward the brass gate. "Mama! You comed! You bringded Doccer Santana!"

"I did!" She laughs, opening the gate, and scooping the giggling boy up. Santana watches as she hugs him close, as she kisses him, as she just closes her eyes and breathes him in, content her baby is back in her arms. "I missed you so, so much, Li!"

"I misseded you the mostest! Gramma say we gonna sleep here tonight again?"

"Well, I was hoping we could." Brittany presses her lips to Liam's ear and stage whispers. "You know, Santana's never had a sleepover here before."

"Doccer Santana! Doccer Santana!" Liam wriggles out of Brittany's arms, and he shimmies over to her, standing with his arms crossed before her. "You gon' sleep here? Mama say!"

"Is that okay with you, sir?" Santana smiles as he erupts in to giggles at sir.

"Where you gon' sleep? You don't got a bed here!"

"I…uh…well—"

"I think we'll be able to work it out, Li." Brittany gives Santana a reassuring nod. "Don't you worry."

"I not worried! I just checkin'! You gon' come see my new trains?"

"Sounds good to me." Santana shrugs, and though it happens frequently, she's still surprised when Liam wraps his arms around her legs, hugging her close.

Whitney and Pierce make Santana feel at home. The house is warm and cozy, so unlike where she grew up. There are pictures of Brittany everywhere. Pictures of her sister. Pictures of her brother-in-law. Pictures of Liam, from the time he was a baby in the hospital. Pictures of Pierce and Whitney on their wedding day, on family vacations. It's beautiful, but it makes Santana a little sad too. It makes her sad, because it's so foreign to her how happy these people can still be after the great loss they've suffered.

Liam wants to show Santana everything. He drags her up and down the stairs. He drags her through every room. He pulls out every toy. He's just so excited, and his excitement is infectious. It makes Santana excited, it makes Santana just feel so entirely happy. She can't get enough of this child. It should scare her, terrify her, how attached she's become to Brittany's son, but it doesn't, it doesn't at all.

"We're going to have dinner at The Mission." Brittany sidles up to Santana, after Liam falls asleep in her lap, head on her chest, and legs curled beneath him. "If that's okay with you."

"Whatever you want." She whispers, afraid to wake him up, afraid that she'll upset the calmest situation she's ever felt. "I'm just glad to be here."

"I'm glad you're here too." A slow smile spreads across Brittany's face, and she leans over Liam's sleeping form to kiss Santana's lips. "I guess he's really glad you are too."

"Do you…?"

"No." Brittany shakes her head, but ruffles Liam's dark hair. "You keep him. He's good there, you tired him out."

"We did play a lot of trains."

"Your Sir Topham Hatt voice really is getting better. It must have tired you out."

"I…" Santana blushes profusely, having not realized that Brittany actually heard her. "I'm good."

"Will you still be good if I come cuddle with my two favorite people?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'd be really good."

Santana falls asleep. She doesn't even mean to, but when Brittany sits down beside her, she ends up resting her head on her shoulder, and before she knows it, she's out cold. She's comfortable with Brittany, she's comfortable here, in the Pierces' home, she's comfortable with this sweet little boy in her arms. So she sleeps, she doesn't worry about anything around her, she doesn't worry about drooling on Brittany's sweater, or snoring in her ear. She doesn't worry at all, and it's perfect.

"Shh, mom, stop." Santana wakes up to Brittany's whisper, but she doesn't open her eyes.

"I'm just taking pictures. It's cute, and exactly what I'd hoped for you with—"

"Mom."

"I'm just saying, Brittany. You could be close to having—"

"Mom, please. This isn't the kind of conversation I want to have right now."

"We both know it's exactly what you—"

"It's all new, Mom." Brittany breathes through her teeth, but Santana feels her heart start to race. "Let me just take things as they come."

"You're a planner, Brittany Susan, I know you're not just thinking about the now of it."

"I love her, I'm so happy to be with her. That's what I'm thinking about right now. Whatever else, I'll take as it comes."

"Alright, honey. If you say so."

Santana doesn't open her eyes right away. She doesn't want Brittany to know that she heard…whatever it is that Whitney was saying. She's not entirely sure she understood the full meaning, but it feels heavy. It feels like she was contemplating a future for Brittany and Liam, a future that Santana is a part of. This whole day, it's made her feel like she's less than someone transient in their lives. Brittany trusting her with Liam. Brittany bringing her back home. Brittany's parents welcoming her into their home with open arms. It's there again, that feeling. The feeling like she's really part of a family, and until Liam wakes up wiggling in her arms, she just sits silently, processing it.

They go to dinner. Santana loves seeing the neighborhood Brittany used to work in. She's only been to Brigham and Women's once, and only for a few hours to get a donor heart, back when she was an intern, but she thinks of Brittany walking the floors there. Commanding another hospital with her poise and grace, heels clicking on tile as she walked her rounds. Doing surgery after surgery, and still making it through the day with barely a hair out of place. Beneath the table in the restaurant, she feels Brittany squeeze her hand, and she pictures her at the bar there, crossing her legs on the stool, laughing with her friends, young, so young, and already so successful.

"You're quiet tonight." Brittany leans over and whispers in her ear, lips brushing the shell of it. "Are you okay?"

"No, yeah. I'm good. Really good. Just…taking it all in and stuff."

"How's your burger?"

"Really good. Want a bite?"

"I won't say no to one." Brittany shrugs, and Santana brings it to her mouth so she can bite it. "Mmm 's good."

"You too are just too cute." Whitney comes back from the bathroom, Liam in tow. Brittany rolls her eyes a little, and heat creeps up the back of Santana's neck.

"They not cute Gramma! They big people!"

"Yeah, Grandma, we're big people." Brittany scoots her chair back to help Liam into his chair, and he giggles against her neck. "Where's Dad?"

"Carmen and April are at the bar. I told him to come back here and let you go see your friends, but he doesn't listen to me!"

"It's fine, Mom. We'll finish eating, and then I'll introduce Santana. That is, if you want to, baby."

"Yeah. Yeah totally." She swallows hard, nervous. "I definitely want to meet your friends."

When Pierce comes back to the table, Santana is just about done with her burger, and Brittany is helping her with the fries. They don't order another drink from the waitress, but instead, leave Liam with a giant dish of ice cream, as Brittany takes Santana's hand and leads her up to the bar. Santana's nervous, to say the least, her heart pounding in her ears, and her breathing coming out in quick, shallow breathes, but she'll do this. She'll be a normal person. She'll meet her girlfriend's old friends, and she'll try not to act like a complete weirdo.

She meets April Rhodes and Carmen Tibideux. Truth be told, she's just a little star struck by Dr. Tibideux—she really has trouble calling such a surgical legend by her first name. She's read all of her academic papers, and she's in awe that the woman is just sitting here drinking a glass of wine, she's in awe that this woman is Brittany's friend. But she manages to keep it together as she sips the glass of wine that Brittany presses into her hands. Lucky for her, April is pretty drunk, and she talks a lot. She's not sure if she should be uncomfortable with the fact that she pinches her cheeks and calls her 'this baby though, Brittany,' but it's…okay. Brittany doesn't mind that she's younger. Brittany doesn't mind a lot of things about her than she probably should, and the more time that passes, the more Santana feels confident that it's all going to remain okay.

Liam falls asleep in the car on the way back to Brittany's parents' house. He doesn't wake up when she lifts him out of his car seat and holds him close. He doesn't wake up as they say goodnight to Whitney and Pierce. He doesn't wake up as she puts a nighttime diaper on him, and charged him into his pajamas. He doesn't wake up as she tucks him beneath the covers of the big bed in the guest room. He doesn't wake up as Brittany kisses him three times, and Santana's heart feels like it's in her throat, just so grateful that she gets to bear witness to such a beautiful sight.

"He's a cuddler." Brittany warns. "Just be ready, he's so excited you're here, you might wake up with him like a baby kangaroo on you."

"Oh…okay. And I won't roll over and hurt him or anything?"

"No." She shakes her head, giving a little laugh. "Trust me, he'll wake you up if you squash his hand or anything."

"Okay. I just want to make sure he's safe."

"I can still move him if you're uncomfortable with this."

"I'm not." Santana shakes her head. She loves that she's allowed in Brittany's son's life like this. She loves the idea that Brittany loves her enough that they can sleep like this with her son, almost like a…family. But she is a little nervous. Nervous she'll mess up. Nervous she'll hurt him in her medicated slumber. Nervous that he'll get upset, and she'll ruin everything. "I'm just gonna go wash up and change."

In the bathroom, Santana starts to psych herself out. She undresses, then she scrubs her face she brushes her teeth twice, before she puts pajamas on. She looks at herself in the mirror, scrubbed clean. She takes her pill bottles from her bag, glad she hasn't had to take a benzo, glad she's been mostly calm. Dipping her head down, she swallows her SSRI and her Ambien, and she looks again in the mirror. She should tell Brittany about the rest. She should know, especially because this little boy is in Santana's life now. She should know, and yet, it makes Santana sick to her stomach just thinking about telling her.

"Santana?" Brittany knocks on the door, before opening it slowly. In just her panties, Santana startles, and knocks the bottle off the counter. "Sorry, sorry! I shouldn't have just opened the door."

"It's fine. It's fine." Santana puts an arm over her breasts, still not comfortable with just being topless in front of Brittany when there's not…a reason. "I was just…washing up and taking my medication."

"Here." Brittany picks up the fallen bottle and hands it to Santana, not even glancing at the label as she does.

"Did you need something?"

"I actually just wanted to come in here and make out with you a little. I thought it might make you less tense."

"I'm not tense." Santana defends, but laughs a little when Brittany raises an eyebrow. "Sorry, I just have an anxiety problem."

"I know." She nods, and presses a soft kiss to Santana's mouth. "Can I do anything?"

"No. It's fine, I mean…" She casts her eyes down to the hand that holds the bottle, saying it without actually saying it. "It's fine. I take care of it."

"Oh. Okay, good."

Brittany's non-reaction is the reaction that Santana needed, the reaction that calms every single fear. The reaction that makes her realize that not disclosing every detail of her medical history—which she's already had to do in the hospital she works in—doesn't mean she's lying. The reaction that really, truly tells her that Brittany loves and respects her.

She pulls her sweatpants and tank top on quickly. She leaves the bathroom so that Brittany can use it, and she sits down on the edge of the bed, just looking over at Liam. He's got his blanket tucked beneath his chin, and his arm draped across his forehead. She wasn't lying when she'd said that she'd missed him, and the idea that he's becoming an even bigger part of her life, well, it's amazing feeling.

Her body starts to feel heavy from the Ambien, before Brittany comes out of the bathroom. She knows it'll be a few more minutes before she falls asleep, but she needs to lay down. Carefully, she lifts the covers on one side of Liam, and she slips beneath them, surprised at how little space his frame takes up, and surprised by just how warm the bed is from his body heat. Turning on her side, she looks at him again. She listens to the little snores that he makes. She brushes the hair back from the scarred side of his face, and gently, she kisses him goodnight. Silently she tells him all the things that she feels about him, things she keeps inside.

"I love you." She hears Brittany whisper, coming back into the room and sitting on her side of the bed. "Like, wow, I really love you. I know that you know that, and I'd rather not freak you out, but if you only knew what seeing this did to me."

"Mmhm." Santana's eyes flutter, so close to sleep, though she tries to fight it. "'S nice."

"Yeah." Brittany settles herself, then leans to kiss Santana's head, eyes brimming with something. "It's really nice."