Disclaimer: it's a true shame that I must confess I do not own one tree hill, because the beautiful bl babies I would have created would rock this world.

Another Chapter! This is for all the loyal readers. It's short, I hope it makes you laugh and maybe cry a little. Ye of little faith who think I might break them up again. Don't you trust me? *shifts eyes sideways wondering if I am trustworthy*

Thank you to those who responded, and to the new readers. It's a busy time of the year and it's practically a christmas miracle I have posted 3 chapters in such a short time period, I have noticed the views aren't as high as usual, so please if you get this alert or see it updated double check if you have read the previous chapters because A LOT has happened. I must admit I will force myself to not update so soon this time, I stick to my usual agreement of fast updating of within a fortnight if I get 20 reviews within a week of posting. So it's up to the readers how quickly you get the next chapter. Enjoy and many thanks.

-x-

Chapter Thirty-Seven

The doorbell rang and Brooke and Sam's eyes met, the teenager perked up, "I'll get it" and for a moment they looked at each other before in a scramble they both jumped up and raced for the front door.

"Sam, Sam!" Brooke yelled after the girl, "please no smar-" in their rush Sam skids into the door with a thump and Brooke collides with her.

"I was here first!"

"Can you just act normal" Brooke warned as their hands both cover the doorknob.

Sam looks down at Brooke's hand gripping hers, "totally, now Brooke, how many sassy brunettes does it take to open a door?" she kinks her brow looking astonishingly like her former foster mother as she did so. With a sigh Brooke stepped back and calmed her expression.

After a pause Sam opened the door, "oh, hi Lucas!" she grinned, "you look… well rested today?"

"Hello Samantha" Lucas grins back not taking the bite, "are you joining us for lunch?"

"No" Brooke answers quickly at the same time Sam answers, "that sounds great"

Mouth gaping Brooke shakes her head, "don't you have… work or something? You mentioned that thing, remember"

"Yes, that thing" Sam nodded, her mouth tight, and then she smiled, "what a lucky coincidence that the thing got cancelled" she shrugs, "and I'm feeling a bit peckish, aren't you hungry Brooke, I know you were pretty worn out from your exercise this morning, aerobics?" Sam added the last bit after letting her gaze freeze on Lucas for a moment.

"I'm going to kill you one day" Brooke deadpanned and she stepped around Sam to take hold of Lucas' hand and lead him through into the house, "please ignore her" she kissed him on the cheek, "I'm having her tested"

"It's okay, I think it'll be nice having us altogether again" Lucas sent Sam a smile and the teenager grinned in triumph, Brooke groaned and mouthed are you sure?

With a nod Lucas pulled Brooke into a hug, "come on, let me go feed you all"

"Yeah, I'm starved. COME ON NOAH!" Sam yelled out for the boy and then sent the adults a warning look, she lifted a finger and wagged it between the two, "and remember children are present so keep it PG"

"Is mild violence permitted?" Brooke asked between gritted teeth though quickly smiled when Noah appeared.

On seeing his father Noah froze, "Dad?" his face confused. His green eyes went between his parents, "is something wrong?"

"No" Brooke reassured her son, she winked at Lucas before turning back to Noah, "nothing's wrong. Let's all go out for lunch, your dad's treat" and all four of them left the house, smiles on their faces.

-x-

Lucas took them to the bowling alley, pride brimming inside him, he knew they looked like a family and got secret joy at that thought hoping everyone who saw them could see it. No longer hiding anything Lucas allowed himself little touches, his palm resting over Brooke's lower back as he guided her, his arm resting behind Brooke along the back of the uncomfortable booth that they sat in, their thighs just touching as they sat side by side. Other subtle touches every few minutes, simply because he could and Brooke shivered with some touches, smiled at others, so keenly aware of each and every brush of their bodies.

Sam was a natural, munching on fries between her many strikes and spares, while Noah slowly improved though he hit the bumpers more times than not. Noah watched his parents, noticing their odd behaviour yet not commenting on it, while Sam was not so subtle with her teasing comments.

When the author left to get another round of drinks Sam followed Lucas, standing by him in the queue, she rocked on her feet, keeping her eyes forward as she spoke, "you better not screw it up this time or I'll supply the shovel and the alibi, just so you know"

Lucas smirked, "I really miss you sometimes"

"Yeah well, you better get used to me I guess, since we're practically family or whatever you call your ex-foster mother who almost adopted you's baby daddy boyfriend"

"Family works" they kept their eyes forward, stepping ahead as the customers in front of them moved up.

"Cool" Sam nodded, "I'll have a coke, by the way" and she left Lucas alone to walk back and re-join Noah and Brooke.

It was no surprise when Sam won both the games, and then she messed with Noah's hair, the boy remained silent even though his face showed his displeasure, "I'll see you around kid, have a good day" she then farewelled Lucas and Brooke, hugging Brooke last, when she pulled back her eyes went between them, "I'm really happy for you guys, really, but for future reference my babysitting services come with an hourly rate" and she jogged away with a grin.

Looking up at his parents Noah spoke next, "what now?"

"Ice cream!" Lucas answered without thinking, and soon the three of them were walking over the wooden deck along the river, an ice cream cone in each of their hands. Though the youngest Noah was the most careful with how he ate the treat, like with everything he did he was precise and neat. Lucas laughed at Brooke's face, a green smudge on her nose, and used his own serviette to wipe it clean, "always a mess" he affectionately mumbled.

She rolled her eyes and abandoned their stroll for a table, Noah slipped in to sit next to his mother while Lucas sat across from her, their feet nestling together out of sight. Lucas smiled softly as he met his girlfriend's hazel eyes, he had wanted to say something but his thoughts danced away from him.

They ate silently enjoying their view and the peace and quiet, and then once the ice-creams were all gone their eyes kept going from one to the other. Noah's eyes narrowed and his parents simultaneously looked out to the river and away from their son and each other, and then Lucas caught Brooke's gaze and the two silently communicated, expressions softening and smiles taking over their faces. Brooke tried to relax her mouth but she couldn't which made Lucas chuckle, "there's something we want to talk to you about" Lucas finally said, turning his attention to Noah.

"Your mother and I both love you very much" Lucas started and then faltered slightly when he didn't know quite what to say.

Noah gave a nod, "I know" he didn't understand why his parents were reassuring him they loved him, he knew that, and he had assumed they were fighting or something because he had noticed they had changed, not that that was unusual, Noah had grown accustomed to his parent's relationship seemingly changing from the closest of friends to complete avoidance. One week they'd be laughing together, looking in each other's eyes for some strange reason he didn't know, the three of them doing things together – like today – and then the next their eyes wouldn't meet and they wouldn't walk close to each other, or smile or talk, or do things as a family. This was Noah's only experience of family, he had nothing else to judge it against, so Noah didn't read too much of things, especially when they were always so nice to him.

"And when we make decisions, we think about you and what it will mean for you" Lucas added, to which Brooke nodded. Noah looked between his parents and frowned, he could see they were sincere however the boy thought back on his time with his parents and thought they had made a lot of decisions for themselves that had nothing to do with him.

Brooke was still smiling, "which is why this has been extra hard for us because we know that when we fight or are unhappy that it can hurt you even more than it hurts us"

On that Noah agreed, he liked when his parents didn't try to avoid each other, it was nicer, he gave a big nod, "you've been mad at Dad?"

Her mouth opened and Brooke paused and then she closed her lips and gently shook her head, "no, not mad. I know you're a very smart kid and you understand a lot of things most adults don't but some things, adult things are…"

"A little more complicated" Lucas finished for her, under the table Lucas reached over and placed his large hand over Brooke's knee, "I don't think there will ever be a time either of us could promise we won't fight anymore, and sometimes just us talking might look like fighting" at his words Brooke gave a huff, her eyebrow kinked.

Noah frowned, "you two were fighting" he stated and then his face cleared and he gave a nod, trying to understand why his parents were telling him this now when they had never discussed these things with him before.

Lucas weighed the words in his mind, his head tilted in thought, "more like disagreeing"

"Okay"

"Okay?" Brooke asked.

Noah nodded again, "you're not fighting anymore but you can't promise you won't again" he shrugged.

"Well yes…" Brooke drawled, she sighed and her happy smile was now more nervous, "I guess it sounds a bit silly but one of the reasons we've been fighting so much is because of that, because we don't know the future and we can't make the promises we want to, promises no one can make even if we want to. And when you have a child, like we have you, it becomes even harder-"

A look entered the boy's eyes, "I'm sorry I-" Noah quickly apologised, his voice holding an uncertainty his parents had never heard before.

"Oh no, it's not like that Noah" Brooke quickly pulled her son closer to her, kissing his cheek, "it's harder because the last thing we want to do is hurt you"

"You never hurt me" Noah didn't comprehend his mother's words, his green eyes frowned again, confused.

"Do you like it when we aren't getting along?" Lucas asked bluntly and Noah looked between his parents, his shoulder sagged and he shook his head.

"Then it does hurt you" Brooke whispered and guilt filled her, she had to hold back the urge to cry, her nose begun to sting as she fought the tears and emotions.

Lucas saw Brooke's reaction and though he spoke to Noah his eyes stayed on her, "sometimes the closer we get the harder it is to get along when we don't agree, and that made us scared of getting too close"

"Me, more me" Brooke admitted and she smiled at Lucas.

"What we are trying to say and probably failing at miserably-" Lucas chuckled to ease the sudden tension, he held out a hand above the table and Brooke instantly took it, and their eyes met and froze again, Lucas had to force himself away from Brooke's smiling eyes that glistened with vulnerability, to smile happily at his son, Brooke did the same. And the father finished what he wanted to say, "-is that after a lot of thinking, and yes some fighting, your mother and I don't want to be scared of getting closer anymore, in fact we want to work on getting even closer"

Noah looked at their joint hands, he wondered if he was meant to say something, if he was meant to know something more now, though it would be obvious to someone older it was one of the examples of Noah's lack of maturity in certain areas. For Noah he did not connect his parent's words and actions with a great change in their relationship, he had never seen his parents as a couple, had never considered them as one, couples in general were not a concept Noah was very familiar or interested in. His lack of understanding was written all over his face, if his parents expected the boy to jump up and down in glee, they were disappointed, there was no knowing smirk like with Sam, just a confused blankness, as if they were talking about the weather, or for Noah something less interesting than that.

Brooke moved her eyes from Noah to Lucas awkwardly, "is that okay with you?" she asked unsure.

"Closer? Do you mean physically?" he seemed to think about it, "is that why we are all together today, you want to be closer to each other? Will Dad buy a house on the street too?" he added the last question as an afterthought.

"Well," Brooke smacked her lips, "yes, and no, we want to get to know each other more"

Noah looked as if someone had told him the sky was actually red, "you already know each other, very well." Noah grew serious with his last words and sent his parents a strange look as if he thought they were crazy. His eyes lit up suddenly, his voice turned enthusiastic akin to when he had an idea for a science experiment, "We can do a pop quiz! I can help with the questions. Aunt Haley told me the only person who knows Dad better than you, Mom, is her, I can enlist her to help you know Dad better. Except biblically, Uncle Nathan said you-"

Brooke gave a high-pitched nervous laugh and Noah stopped talking, she squeezed Lucas' hand and frantically began to mumble quietly about having stern words with her two friends.

After squeezing Brooke's hand back and letting her calm down, Lucas smiled at Noah and tried again, "what I- we- mean, is that we've decided to start dating"

"Each other" Brooke clarified.

Noah didn't show much reaction, he was lost in thought for a moment and then he started nodding slightly as his green eyes looked up, clearly lost in his own mind while his parents watched him carefully with parted lips, waiting.

The nodding stopped, Noah remained quiet, Brooke sent Lucas a brief look before turning back to Noah, Lucas gave another nervous chuckle, breaking the silence, "any thoughts on that, son?"

"It makes sense" Noah answered and immediately went quiet again.

Then a dolphin was seen in the river and the topic changed, Noah's attention seemingly moving on, fifteen minutes later he turned his gaze to his mother again, Brooke and Lucas were staring at each other discussing politics of all things, "will it be different?" the boy cut in.

"Well, it depends if the bill is passed, most-"

Noah shook his head, "what will be different now you're dating?" he looked between his parents, "other than sexual relations-"

"Woah" Lucas quickly stopped Noah, "you don't need to worry about that sort of stuff"

Brooke laughed, "it's a step up from mating"

"Are they not the same thing?" Noah asked confused but his parents chose to ignore the comment.

Lucas lifted Brooke's hand to kiss her fingers, "things will be different. We're going to spend a lot more time together, the three of us, and-" he tore his eyes from Brooke to smile reassuringly at his son, "-your mother and I will spend more time just the two of us together, Sam might watch you while we go out together at night or we will spend time together when you are with your friends or at school"

"Okay" Noah stood up, "can we go now?"

"Sure" Brooke nodded, she stood up too and the family began to continue their walk, this time Lucas matched Brooke's steps and reached for her hand, slipping it into his own. It was a simple move though for Lucas is was a declaration, he comfortably held her hand as he kept his eyes forward, telling the world they were together. Next to him Brooke blushed, wondering briefly if everyone they walked by would notice, wondering if anyone would care, with a shy smile Brooke allowed herself to walk closer to Lucas so with each matching step they took, her hip gently brushed against Lucas.

-x-

It was ten at night and Lucas and Brooke were in her bed, comfortably set up under the covers, Lucas in only his boxers and Brooke in boy-shorts and a tank top, he sat up with the pillows behind his back with Brooke cuddled to his side her own head resting against his chest.

It was better than a late-night phone call, because they were together.

"Is this weird?" Brooke asked.

Lucas stroked her exposed arm, "what?"

"This" Brooke shrugged, "it's very domestic, a week ago we were screaming… okay I was screaming at you… and now here we are just holding each other" she whispered her next words as if it was shocking, "we aren't even having sex"

He chuckled, "we can change that"

"No, this is nice" Brooke kissed his skin below her mouth and sighed, "just having you here"

"Yeah" he looked down at the top of her head, "and knowing I won't be kicked out in the morning" Brooke stilled, Lucas felt it, "Brooke, are you kicking me out in the morning?"

"Well…" she propped herself up, placing a hand on each side of him to look him in the eyes, "is it too soon for Noah to wake up in the morning and suddenly find us being… I don't know, us? Should we take some things slower?"

"So, I have to sneak out?" he raised his brows finding her expression adorable and slightly hilarious.

Brooke winced not liking the way it sounded, not liking the smile he wore at her expense, "you make it sound so sordid"

Lucas gently laughed, kissing her briefly, "it's okay, Brooke, I'll leave before Noah wakes up and he will never know I stayed the night" and when he continued to smile at her Brooke couldn't resist, she closed the gap between them and kissed those smiling lips.

For a long time, all they did was kiss before they laid back down, Brooke not even realising she was twisting the curly blonde hair just above Lucas' navel with her fingers.

The silence was warm, just being together was enough to communicate the conversations they were having, and then Lucas saw the framed photo of his family displayed with pride next to the bed.

"Brooke?"

"Yeah?"

Lucas was still looking at the photo, "I know I already told you that the three of us is more than enough family for me, and it is, it's more than I thought I would ever have with you" he tried to be sensitive, "but I also know that it matters to you, that the reason you were scared about it not being enough for me is because I know it's not enough for you, that you always dreamt of more" he rubbed her shivering body, "and I am here, for you to talk to or not talk to, if you need to cry or yell, it's okay".

For the longest time Brooke was silent, the only thing giving away her tears was the dampness that grew on Lucas' chest.

"It's stupid because I already have Noah but… it feels like I'm broken, or a failure, my body has betrayed me… that somehow I'm… less" her tears stopped running as her emotions went into her words. Brooke let out a breath, "Like somehow I'm less of a woman" she shook her own head not fully understanding all the thoughts and emotions that her infertility had coursing through her, it was rational and irrational and Brooke couldn't help it, "like… if I can't even…" she stopped abruptly and let herself be held.

"I know I shouldn't call you crazy but you know that this doesn't make you any less of a woman, right?" he playfully let his hands run down her, making her feel very, very female yet at the same time not crossing the line and making it sexual, "you are not less or broken, and you are in no way a failure. You're simply… imperfect"

The words sent something through Brooke, there was something she hadn't said to Haley, that she hadn't let herself confess to even herself, yet she found her hands gripping Lucas and it just coming out, "it felt like I was being punished"

Lucas froze, after he paused, he finally shifted so they were face to face, he searched her eyes, "for what?"

The tears fell unashamedly from her again, "for Noah" she sniffed, "because I just gave him up. What sort of mother just gives away her baby?"

"You're not being punished, no one, not even god would punish you for loving Noah the way you do" Lucas wiped away her tears and held her face between his hands, he kissed her eyelids, "Brooke, one child, a dozen, none of it matters, you are a fantastic mother. You love our son, I couldn't have asked for a better mother for my children, I only wish I had been able to tell you that all those years ago"

"Why don't you hate me?" she was utterly confused, "either of you"

"Oh, Brooke" Lucas smiled down at her, kissing her nose this time, "we can't hate you when you love so much, nobody hates you, and it's time you learn to stop hating yourself" he stared into her glistening eyes still wet with tears, "you are not less"

This kiss she gave him this time was more heated, and though Lucas tried to keep it soft and reassuring Brooke burned, his words running through her. Brooke needed the passion, she needed to have Lucas, needed him in this moment to show her exactly how whole, how womanly, how enough she was.

It wasn't long before Lucas obliged, the simmering desire that was always hovering between them catching alight and consuming them.

Afterwards when their bodies and hearts were sated Lucas was the one resting his cheek atop Brooke, his eyes went to a new scar that hadn't been there in New York all those months ago, his fingers traced it and Lucas felt Brooke stiffen before she once again relaxed.

"You started to push me away again that day in the hospital" Lucas kept his eyes on the silver scar, his fingertips paused over it, "You found out you couldn't have children anymore and you pushed me away before I could walk away" he kissed the spot, Brooke remained still, her fingers unmoving in his hair, he kissed the spot again telling her with his kisses that he was not turning away from her, that he loved her and she was enough.

His kisses began to trail down, kissing where the bone jutted out, his lips freezing when Brooke's quiet words reached his ears.

"I thought I was pregnant"

Lucas looked up to see Brooke staring up at the ceiling, her hands still clutched gently onto his blonde locks, she absently stroked his hair, "I was sick, I was late, the test said positive. I was scared and happy because I thought we were having another baby, terrible timing but this time we could do it together, have it all" still a whisper, a hopeful whisper.

"Br-" he began, she finally looked down at him and guided his head back up, Lucas shifted his weight to hold himself up as she placed a finger on his lips to still his words.

"In a way I was pregnant… but I wasn't. It was ectopic, the fertilised egg didn't make it out of the fallopian tube, which… well erupted… I guess, or something. Noah called the ambulance just in time. I nearly bled to death" Brooke admitted and Lucas trembled at her confession as he realised how close he had actually been to losing her, he closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. His eyes stung, this time Brooke gave him a comforting kiss, bringing his face down to hers and kissing his forehead and then one cheek, "it feels like a part of me did die that day, the world… it just doesn't feel the same"

Unable to say anything Lucas gathered Brooke into his arms, hugging him with her whole body, she was held between his arms, between his legs, cocooned within his embrace and Lucas held on tightly fearing he may never be able to let her go again.

Eventually Brooke fell asleep, Lucas remained awake, he could not rest and he could not let go, he just held Brooke and made silent promises to his love. In the morning Lucas knew Brooke would force him to leave all too soon so he didn't waste a second of the night he had with her on something like sleep.

-x-

This chapter was relatively short and simple but I hope it packed a punch with the BL relationship moving forward and now dealing with what it means to be a real couple and showing them really trying to overcome their issues. And how of course those around them react to it as well, I just could not imagine Noah being like OMG my mum and dad are together wow all my wishes have come true. I just could not picture him being that kid, but his lack of glee will be made up with everyone else's glee. That last scene was not exactly easy to write, honestly I don't know how someone would feel about losing a pregnancy or having an ectopic pregnancy, or giving a kid up for adoption or finding out they can't have children, so I try to think how these characters would think or feel, the complexity of thoughts and emotions. Thoughts and feelings are not always rational, I haven't been through the things listed above but I've been through enough to know that knowing a thought or feeling is irrational does not prevent it from existing. So Brooke is not rationally dealing with these things because her insecurities that have always been a part of her prevent her from truly accepting some truths. It's not so simple for her, she can be as wonderful a mother, friend, human being as she could possibly be, but Brooke Davis will always have a voice at the back of her mind questioning if she is deserving and enough, if she is lovable or worthy of love. And she needs to actively fight it. This is something I do understand, so maybe I project a bit, but I grew up without that sense of security of being and knowing I was loved by the two people who are meant to love me unconditionally, so I guess I have always felt connected to Brooke (and many of the OTH characters) and her f'd up relationship with her parents, and though I can say I know I am loved, that I have family and friends who love me, that I am not some evil unlovable person, because no one is, right, and there are these people who tell me they love me who show me they love me, well its not so easy to believe it completely or feel it. There's doubt. So I hold myself back a little, hold a little doubt, so in the event of when or if they are no longer there it might hurt less. There's a part of me that thinks well I don't know, I can't know, what others feel and history shows that people who say they love you, who you never imagine being gone, they can go, they can hurt you, they can seemingly stop loving you or give some BS words that they do and then go on to do nothing to actually show that love, just vanish from your life. Maybe that's why I write for a couple as if their love if so strong and always there under the surface just as strong just waiting no matter what else is happening in their lives. Because in fiction you can write whatever love story you want. And happily ever afters are so much easier. Is there a reason so many of my stories involve children, do my parental issues shine though lol. Anyway that was a bit of a ramble.