Santana books their trip. She hasn't taken a real vacation in…well, pretty much ever—awful childhood vacations with her father notwithstanding—and she's so excited to take one with Brittany and Liam, with her family. After much deliberation, she chooses a suite with a swim up pool, figuring it will afford both privacy for her and Brittany, and something that Liam will be absolutely beside himself about, and then the room beside it for Brittany's parents.
In addition to the trip, Santana wracks her brain, trying to plan something special she can do on the night of Brittany's birthday. She'll be forty. It's not a small occasion, and though she figures Brittany would take the trip as a huge sort of celebration, Santana isn't settled with just that. She's not settled with treating it like any ordinary day, and so she sits at her computer, trying to find the nicest restaurant in Playa Del Carmen, trying to make this the most special day of her life.
Liam is beside himself when they leave for the airport. Santana is fairly certain that he's only heard the words airplane, pool, andice cream,but she's so glad that he's excited. She knows that eventually, if themomthing happens, she won't be able to spoil him rotten, but for now, and at the very least, for this long weekend, she wants to make sure he's absolutely spoiled rotten.
"Li, baby, we need to buckle up." Brittany tells him, as he stands up on the airplane seat, waving at all of their fellow passengers.
"I just sayin' hi, Mama! All this peoples is goin' to Messico?"
"They certainly are." She laughs, helping him sit down. "Pretty cool, huh?"
"Gramma and Grampa are comin' too?"
"They're coming in on a plane from Boston tonight, like Santana promised. But this morning, and all afternoon, it's just the three of us."
"Hmm." He taps Percy on Santana's arm. "And we get ice cream?"
"We'll get ice cream, and we'll go play on the beach." Santana assures him, leaning over to kiss the top of his head. Ever since her conversation with Brittany, things like that have become second nature to her, treating him with a certain tenderness that she'd been cautious about before.
"You bringed your bathin' suit, Doccer Santana?"
"I did. How could I forget that with our own pool, and the great big ocean?"
"Percy, you no go swimmin'." He looks down at his train, as Brittany clips the seatbelt over his lap. "You needa watch."
Forty-five minutes into the flight, once his excitement over changing the channels on the TV has waned, Liam falls asleep. His head rests on Santana's arm, and she looks over at Brittany, who's smiling at both of them.
"Thank you for inviting him on this trip too." She murmurs.
"I would never expect you to spend your birthday without him." Santana shrugs. "Speaking of that, do you, uh, want to do a late adults only dinner tomorrow night? We'll spend the day with him, and then—"
"I'd love that." Brittany stops Santana where she's certain to begin rambling on.
"Okay. I figured we'd do cake with him at lunchtime, and then, as long as your parents don't mind staying with him…"
"They don't. They're so grateful that you invited them, and I think my mom kind of figured you'd want to do something with just the two of us tomorrow."
"Yeah, I mean, obviously I'm really excited about being with Liam, but I also, I dunno, wanted to give you a really nice dinner."
"I love you a lot, you know, and let me tell you, forty is looking a whole lot better with you in my life."
"Britt." Santana's face heats up, and she leans over Liam to kiss her lips. "I love you too."
Liam sleeps through most of the duration of the flight. While he does, Santana orders wine, so she and Brittany can start celebrating a little early. She's a little tipsy when they touch down in Cancun, but while Brittany insists upon grabbing their carry on bags, Santana shakes out of the fog in her head and grabs Liam's hand to lead him through the airport.
He's amazed by everything. It's takes them a good twenty minutes to get to baggage claim, because Liam just can't stop pointing everywhere, can't stop pulling Santana off course to show her something that he's interested in. But she has no complaints about it. Being with him, watching him be excited about something, that's in her top five favorite things. The baggage claim itself is a huge source of excitement for him, and while they wait, he peers over, his little eyes following each piece of luggage as it comes out.
The same proves true for the cab ride to the hotel, and then all around the room, pulling everything out, jumping on his bed, jumping on their bed, just unable to keep his excitement down. Finally, once they're unpacked, Brittany manages to wrangle him, scooping him up and bringing him into his bedroom so she can get him into his swim trunks.
Left alone with her head, Santana picks out her newly purchased two-piece swimsuit from the top dresser drawer. Much like going on vacation, Santana hasn't put on a bathing suit in so long, she can't even remember when it last was. She's spent a lot of time shopping for this one, scouring the internet for one with padding that will hide her misshapen breasts, that won't reveal, even when she gets cold, her damaged nipple, but still, she's uncomfortable about putting it on. Still, the idea of walking on the beach so exposedmakes her feel a little sick to her stomach. Self-loathing creeps up under her skin, and she scratches her stomach, trying to tamp it down.
"You're being an idiot." She mumbles to herself. "You've finally started to act like an actual person, don't do this. Not here. Not now."
It takes everything in her, but she wills herself to take her shirt off. She wills herself to undo her bra—shivering, when the air conditioning hits her nipples—and she wills herself to pull the top of the swimsuit over her head. For just a moment, she squeezes her eyes shut, refusing to look in the mirror, before she forces herself to open them again. When she looks at her reflection it's…not awful. Her left breast appears obviously bigger, but the lumpiness she notices when she's entirely topless is hidden by the padding, and the top conceals enough that her scars are hidden.
"I love when you wear black." Brittany speaks from in the doorway, and Santana holds back a startled jump. "You look so sexy in it."
"Oh, I…" Santana does some sort of wave over the front of her body, and steps back away from the mirror. "Thanks."
"Liam's all set to go, lathered in sunscreen and everything. I'm just going to get changed real quick, and then we'll go down to the beach?"
"Yeah." She swallows, quickly pulling down her shorts, and pulling on her matching bottom, beyond grateful that Brittany knows her well enough to quickly drop the subject of what she's wearing. "That sounds really good."
Santana is quick to throw beach towels into a bag, and grab her own sunscreen while Brittany changes. Liam is still bouncing around the room, showing Santana anything she may have missed, and she smiles at him, still impressed by the way he uses his grabbin' hand to lift the remote control, the corded phone, the cookies and chocolates left for them by the hotel staff. When he runs to her though, wrapping his arms around her waist, she's taken by total surprise, and it takes her a moment to catch her breath.
"Doccer Santana! This my fav-rit hotel! Thank you for bringin' me!"
"Oh Sir." She leans down and hugs him tight. "Thank you for coming with me."
"You silly! Mama say we come!"
"Well I know that. But still, I'm very glad you're here, Mr. Liam."
"Me too! Me too!"
They spend the whole day on the beach. Santana promises Liam that they can go in the pool at night, and with a whoop, he runs toward the ocean, only stopping when Brittany picks him up to carry him in. They eat hamburgers and tacos in the sand, and again, again, Brittany does that thing where she looks at Santana like she's the most beautiful woman she's even seen.
When Brittany's parents get in, they all have dinner together. Seeing how excited they are to be here, Santana is beyond glad that she invited them. Though she's slow to trust, they've embraced her, they've made her feel like she's part of their family, and they've given her this sense of safety. As unnerving as it might be, for someone who has spent most of her life pushing everyone away, Santana appreciates them. She appreciates them more than she can articulate, and she loves them, truly.
Although they'd promised Liam a night swim, after he nearly falls asleep in his guacamole, getting him right into bed isn't much of a challenge. Closing the door to his room, so he can sleep in peace, Brittany takes the baby monitor with her, and Santana watches as she slips back into her bathing suit and pours two glasses of champagne.
"Having a night swim?"
"I was hoping you'd join me for one." Brittany waggles her eyebrows, making Santana laugh.
"I'm pretty sure funny business is frowned upon in the pool. Especially because there's basically a strip of stone that separates us from your parents' room."
"Better hope they're not doing any funny business then."
"Ugh! Britt! Gross!" Santana chucks a lime from the minibar at her.
"Hey!" Brittany wraps her arms around Santana's waist, lifting her up off the ground, and making her actually giggle. Before Santana knows it, Brittany is kissing her, kissing her, kissing her, until she's a little lightheaded.
"Are you trying to get me in the pool, or into bed?"
"The pool." She hum in her ear. "But later…"
"Later, hmm?"
"Later, you won't believe that I'm almost forty."
A shiver runs down Santana's spine, but when Brittany takes a step back, and picks up both champagne flutes with one hand, Santana snaps back to reality. She wastes no time getting changed back into her suit, not torturing herself by looking in the mirror. When she goes back out to the living area of their suite, the sliding door to the pool is open, and she sees Brittany's silhouette in the moonlight, standing in the pool, glass of champagne in her hand. There's something so strikingly beautiful about it, and part of her longs to take a picture, longs to keep it forever. Her plan is thwarted though, when Brittany looks over her shoulder, when she calls Santana over, with just a nod of her head.
"How's the water?" Santana asks, though frankly, she doesn't care, not when Brittany looks at her the way she does.
"Gorgeous. This place is something else, Santana." She shakes her head, handing Santana her glass as she slips into the cool water. "You didn't have to do all of this."
"I wanted to. I've never—I've never been in a relationship, and I want everything with you, Brittany, this trip included."
"We've got pretty close to everything, don't we?"
"Yeah." Santana nods, swallowing the dryness in the back of her throat. "We almost—"
"Girls!" Whitney comes out on her own balcony, donning a bright pink swimsuit, and interrupting Santana's sentence. "Sorry, was I intruding on a romantic evening?"
"Ye—"
"No, no, it's okay, Whitney." Talking over Brittany, Santana waves off Whitney's concerns. She's sure she was about to ramble on about something anyway, and the distraction is better. "We're just having a drink and a swim before bed."
"We were just about to do the same! Pierce! C'mon out!"
Brittany shakes her head, chuckling a little, and a wide smile spreads across Santana's face when Pierce comes out, clad in a bright orange Speedo. It's funny, Santana thinks, how Brittany is so subdued, compared to her parents. Brittany, in her neutral tone work clothes and her clicking heels is quite the opposite of these colorful, wonderful people, in both appearance and personality, but what she certainly got from them is their big heart.
Although Santana had been looking forward to a relaxing night in the pool with Brittany, there's something to be said for spending time with her parents. Because they live so far away, Santana has never really got to just do this, to talk to them without it being a holiday, or a rush to do something else. But this is perfect. She gets to see Pierce horse around in the pool with his snorkel, she gets to see Whitney slowly get drunk on mojitos, she gets to see Brittany blush, as her mother tells embarrassing—and mostly exaggerated, Santana thinks—stories about her. She gets to see them just be them, and she loves them more for it.
When they fall into bed an hour later, Santana is pretty sure she's never been more relaxed. Her hair is still wet from their post-pool shower, where Brittany had pressed her against the wall, legs spread, and fingers inside of her. She still feels woozy from alcohol and sex and Brittany, but she's content. She has no work to worry about, she has her girlfriend, who she thinks she probably loves more today than she did yesterday, wrapped around her. She has the little boy who she loves so fully sound asleep on the other side of the wall. She thinks she's never felt so whole in her life, and it doesn't make her run scared, not in the slightest.
"Mama! Mama! Mama!" The sound of Liam's voice over the baby monitor startles Santana awake. She hears Brittany groan beside her, as she makes an effort to sit up.
"I'll get him, Britt, stay."
"I'd try to say no, but wow I'm not as young as I used to be. I think the champagne put me over the top."
"Speaking of not young." Santana leans over to Brittany's side of the bed, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "Happy Birthday."
"Mmm. I can say without a doubt that forty is already my best birthday ever."
Doccer Santana! Mama! You needa wake up! I already 'wake!"
With a laugh, Santana gets out of bed. She takes one quick glance at Brittany, blonde hair spread across the pillows, arm draped over her face, and she smiles, appreciating the sight before her. She goes into Liam's little room, and finds him sitting cross-legged in the middle of the king sized bed, Percy and Edward and Daisy spread out in front of him.
"Doccer Santana! I don't know how t'get out of this big big bed!"
"Oh no!" She pulls her lips behind her teeth, trying to hold back her smile. "I guess I'm going to have to help you down."
"Help me! Help me!"
"I'll definitely help you. But first, I need to tell you a big secret."
"I know the secret! I know the secret! Mama's birthday! Mama's birthday!"
"You remembered!" Santana laughs, scooping him up into her arms and tickling his belly. "Are you ready to wish her a happy birthday then?"
"Yes! Yes! Then cake!"
"We'll have to see about that, Sir. Maybe pancakes first."
Liam's excitement is uncontrollable through the whole day, from the minute Santana boosts him up into bed to kiss his Mama. He's giddy through papaya pancakes for breakfast, then a glass bottom boat trip—where Santana quietly goes to puke in the bathroom because she made the mistake of looking down while the boat was moving. When they go to lunch, a big local restaurant that Santana found on the internet, Brittany and Liam first witness her speak Spanish, and the waiter brings out huge platters of whole fish and lobsters. Liam climbs up on her lap when the whole staff sings Feliz Cumpleaños to Brittany, and he begs her to teach him all the funny words. Santana just hugs him then, because she continues to feel her love for him grow. She continues to feel like his parent, and as such, she knows that she can teach him her history, the first language her mother taught her, because she wanted to be fluent in the language she wouldn't learn in school.
By late-afternoon, Liam has a towel draped fully over him, protecting him from the blazing sun, as he naps on a lounge chair by their pool. He'd been swimming since they got back from lunch, and rather than take him in to nap, Brittany had held him until he fell asleep, then tucked him under the towel, and slipped back into the pool herself. Sprawled out on her own lounge chair, Santana watches Brittany swim. She's so methodical about it, her strokes perfect and even, and Santana thinks that it's not unlike how she does everything. Sure, steady, calculated, the exact opposite of Santana's own frenetic and insecure way of moving through life. Brittany is good for her, Brittany calms her, and sitting in peace, with the woman she loves swimming under the Mexican son, the son she's willing to share with her asleep on the chair beside her, Santana is certain, for the first time in her life, that things are all going to be alright.
The Pierces take Liam to dinner at five-o'clock. They give Santana and Brittany some time to get ready on their own, and while Brittany is doing her hair, Santana pops one of her pills, then stands at the sink beside her slowly putting her makeup on. When Brittany puts on a slinky black dress, Santana feels the air leave her lungs, and the wry smile Brittany gives her lets her know that she knows exactly what she does to her.
Though Santana thinks it might be a little cheesy, she'd arranged for an intimate, candlelit dinner on the beach. Though she'd been slightly hesitant when calling about a romantic dinner for same sex partners, the hotel had been nothing but pleasant, and the waitress who leads them down to their table doesn't bat an eye at their entwined hands, or that enamored look that Santana can feel Brittany giving her.
"Santana." Brittany murmurs, and Santana looks down, sort of mortified at the heart-shaped circle of candles that surrounds their table in the sand.
"Oh God." She whispers, burying her face in Brittany's shoulder. "I didn't realize they were going to up the cheese factor to like, one-hundred percent."
"What? I love it! I'm glad they gave us several hundred candles, how else would we see our dinner once the sun goes down?"
"Why are you—?"
"Like this?" Brittany teases. "Because you're really, really sweet. This whole trip is sweet, this dinner is sweet, and I love you so much. This is the best birthday I've ever had."
"It's only just begun." She lifts her head back up, and she smiles, looking into Brittany's eyes. "Felix cumpleaños, mi amor."
Dinner is beautiful. Once Santana's embarrassment over how over the top it is ceases, she falls into easy conversation with Brittany. Living together, working sometimes eighty-hour work weeks a piece, and having a little boy who requires attention around, it's rare that they get a night out like this anymore. It's rare that they can sit back, with nowhere to be, and trade bites of food, smile behind glasses of wine, just revel in nothing but each order's company. The relationship they had, it's built on a solid foundation, it's built to last,and they don't necessarily need the whimsy of fancy dates, but still, it's nice. Still, it's important for them to have time to just unwind together.
"Want to walk on the beach?" Santana asks when they're finished with dessert.
"I'd love that."
When Santana stands up, she realizes that she's definitely more intoxicated than she'd realize, but still, she pulls out Brittany's chair for her. Realizing, Santana thinks, Brittany wraps her arm around Santana's waist and pulls her close, letting her press a kiss to her bare shoulder and giggle into it a little, before she's steady enough on her feet to walk.
They leave their shoes, and they meander along the shoreline, Santana feeling safe and warm in Brittany's embrace. They're in no rush to get anywhere, Liam is safe with Brittany's parents, and their hospital pagers are on the kitchen counter back in New York. They've got nothing but time, and they stop to trade soft kisses, they stop to pick up shells, they stop to admire the beauty of the last vestiges of pink sunlight slipping into the ocean. Somewhere down the beach, they stumble upon writing in the sand.
"Looks like someone got married." Brittany traces her bare toe over the initials before them.
"Jon and Phoebe." Santana reads, still leaning on Brittany as she squints down at the letters. "If our dinner was any indication, I bet it was really pretty."
"I don't think I'd mind getting married here." She tilts her head to the side, looking at Santana. Brittany's eyes in the moonlight are bright, and Santana feels a twisting, a longing in the pit of her stomach.
"So what if we did?"