Hope Eternal Chapter 9
6
Chapter 9
Hard Reality
By: Randi Elkins
Nathan stood there shocked. His face turned red. I looked at Elizabeth surprised at her reaction. I got up and walked toward Nathan. "Come on in, Nathan." He stepped just in side the door. Elizabeth said again in a softer tone, "Nathan, you are in love with me? Did you really tell Jack that you were in love with me?" "Elizabeth let's talk about this later. Nathan and I need to set the schedule if I are going to return to my post." I said trying to ease the tension. There was a knock at the door and Rosemary came in. "Lee and I haven't spent any time with our sweet little Jack. Could we have him for a little while?" She obviously had heard the commotion and thought getting Jack would help. I had never been so happy that the walls were so thin. She walked straight to him and picked him up, "Do you want to go see Uncle Lee? He has you a new ball." I smiled, looked at Elizabeth, "I think he would enjoy that; I will come get him in a little while." I said. Elizabeth didn't say a word she just stood there looking at Nathan. I went, kissed Jack on the forehead, "Daddy, will see you in a little while." Rosemary and little Jack left. "Let's all sit at the table and we can discuss everything. Nathan would you like some tea or coffee?" Nathan walked over to the table, "No I am fine Jack thank you." We all sat down. Nathan finally looked at Elizabeth, "Yes I told Jack I am in love with you. Truth is I have been for a long time, but you made it clear you wanted to just be friends. I respected your wishes and kept my feelings to myself. Now that Jack is home, I know I made the right decision." Elizabeth looked at me. Then she looked at Nathan, "If I had known I wouldn't have asked for so much help. I had no idea; you should have told me." I didn't really have a place in the conversation, so I just sat there, I almost felt like I was intruding on their private conversation. I had seen Elizabeth upset before but not like this. Nathan was staring down at the table, "How could I tell you that? You made your feelings clear and I knew if I said anything you wouldn't let me help. I wanted to be here as your friend to do the things you needed done. You had so much to take care of and you were still grieving. Everyone thought you were doing so well but I knew you were still hurting over the loss of Jack. It was clear your feelings for him ran deeper than even you could explain. I wasn't going to tell you something like that while you hurt and grieved. I wanted to be here to pick up the slack. And now that Jack is home, I now know why I never said anything and why you never stopped grieving. It is clear that you and Jack have a rare bond. I have never seen a bond like the two of you have. I can see that all the things everyone has told me about your relationship is true. I am fine, I don't regret helping you. I am so happy you have Jack back and can build the life you deserved with him." Elizabeth sat there for a moment, I guess she was trying to process everything Nathan had said. So, I spoke up, "Nathan thank you for watching over Elizabeth and Little Jack while I was away. I know it couldn't have been easy, but I really appreciate all you have done." "Jack it has been my pleasure to help Elizabeth. She is the strongest woman I know. She is fiercely independent, and it takes a lot for her to ask for help.", he said with a smile. Elizabeth began to speak, "You still should have told me, I had the right to know. I am so grateful for your friendship but now I feel like I took advantage of you. If I hadn't let you help you would have found someone new to love. Nathan I am so sorry, I really didn't know." He looked at her and I could see how much her words hurt. "I didn't want to find anyone else. I was happy being there for you and little Jack. I felt like that was my place as long as you would let me. I knew you would never want to be more than friends, but I felt my place was helping you." We sat in silence for a few minutes. I looked at Elizabeth and tears fell down her cheek. "Elizabeth, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I asked. Nathan was concerned, "Did I say something that upset you? I never meant to." Still looking down she began to speak, "Nathan the truth is just before Jack was found I was beginning to develop feelings for you. You were so wonderful doing all the things you did for little Jack and me. I couldn't bring myself to say anything because I had told you I just wanted to be friends and I struggled with the idea of taking on the task of loving another Mountie. My feelings for Jack never went away but I thought maybe if I let someone else in that I could move on. Like you, I am glad I never said anything because now Jack is home." Whoa, I wasn't expecting to hear Elizabeth say that. I have to stay calm; I have to stay focused. I can't let this bother me, I was dead to her and never coming home. I wanted her to move on. She loves me and she is my wife. Nathan and Elizabeth were both looking at me. Are they expecting me to say something? What would I say? Elizabeth could see I didn't know what to say and that her admission took me by surprise. "Jack, I love you, I always have, and I always will. You are the love of my life. When I was considering telling Nathan that I was interested in being more than friends I was thinking about our son. He needed a good man with integrity and honor to guide him. Little Jack already knew Nathan and they spent time together. He trusted Nathan and I knew Nathan would love him as his own. I also knew he would honor your memory with Jack. I wanted to give little Jack a family." Elizabeth looked at Nathan with a slight smile, he returned one. I knew I had to say something, "You don't have to explain. You thought I was dead and never returning. You and Jack needed someone here with you. Someone that would love you as much as I do, and I know Nathan could have been that man. I am so grateful for all Nathan has done." "Jack you don't have to worry, I will always respect your and Elizabeth's relationship. Elizabeth thank you for telling me. It is just nice knowing you considered a relationship but since Jack is home, I am relieved you didn't say anything, losing you would have been devastating. I am happy for you. Jack is where your heart is, and you deserve happiness. Jack we can talk about a schedule on rounds in the morning. I didn't mean to cause problems by telling Jack the truth, but I felt he deserved it." He stands to go, Elizabeth walked over and hugged him, "Nathan your help has been priceless to little Jack and me. We couldn't have made it without you. You are so special to us and you always will be." I reached out to shake his hand, "Thank you for caring for my family. You will always be our friend." He smiled and headed toward the door, as he opened it, we heard little Jack crying. Elizabeth stepped in front of Nathan and I followed. Rosemary was holding him as she headed toward us, "I think he is just tired. He has been rubbing his eyes since dinner. He and Uncle Lee had quite a time playing with the new ball." Lee was following them carrying the ball, "Yes, we had fun and have played most of the evening and he loves the ball." Nathan walked up, "Is everything okay?" Little Jack saw him and reached for him. Nathan looked at me, I nodded for him to take him from Rosemary. When Nathan took him, Jack laid his head on Nathan's shoulder. I am a little jealous. Seeing him hold my son and seeing how little Jack loves him is hard. I want to hold Jack, but I don't want to come off as being jealous even though I was. Elizabeth walked up and took Jack from Nathan; I am going to get him ready for bed. Rosemary I appreciate you and Lee watching him. Good night everyone." She went in the house, Rosemary and Lee said there goodbyes as well and went into their house. I shook Nathan's hand, "I will see you in the morning for rounds, let General Collins know we will have a schedule set before I head to my appointment with Carson." "I will let him know and I will see you in the morning. Thank you, Jack, for being so understanding. I know this must be hard on you. I am glad you are home. Good night." He turned and headed toward town.
Carson came in, Faith had already done some of the basics of the exam. "Jack how are you feeling? Be honest. Are you still getting tired quickly? How do you feel after rounds? Are you having any headaches? Are you sleeping okay?" He sure had a lot of questions. "I am feeling really good. I am very tired after doing rounds and working on the house, but we are almost finished. I can't wait to move my family into our new home. I do have headaches but nothing too bad. I usually get them after busy days. I haven't been sleeping well. My body aches really bad in the evenings, I get chills and have a hard time resting but I am sure it is nothing. When I wake in the morning, I am still tired and achy, but I can manage okay." Carson was moving my arms and legs around, stretching them out. He moved he stretched my leg and there was a sharp pain in my thigh. I couldn't help but yell out in pain. "Jack show me where that hurt?" Carson said. "It is just here in my thigh close to the hip. I haven't felt that pain before." I told Carson. He began to move the other leg but there was no pain there. Carson was quiet, I could tell he was thinking. "Jack stand and I want you to lunge as far forward as you can. If it starts hurting stop immediately." I got off the examining table. I lunged forward and immediately I felt a pull and a sharp pain. I cried out in pain. "Stop, stop. Stand up. I don't want you to hurt yourself more. Sit back on the table." He said in a concerned tone in his voice. He worked his fingers along my jaw line to the base of my skull. He then looked in my eyes. He turned to Faith, "I need you to go get Elizabeth." "Is everything okay? What do I tell her?" Faith questioned. "Carson, what is going on? You are scaring me." I said. "Jack, I believe there is an infection setting up in your body. You have fluid around the base of your skull, your eyes have begun to turn grey and the soreness in your thigh is the infection setting up in your body. The body aches and chills are caused by the infection. I wish you had told me sooner." Faith left to get Elizabeth. "Infection?" I couldn't believe my ears. "Yes, Jack infection and if we don't get it under control you could cause you to go back into a coma. Get out of your clothes and into this gown. Lay down on the bed while I get the medication together." Coma? I could go back into a coma? I got changed and laid down like Carson had told me. Hickman came in just as I laid down. When Carson saw him, he told Hickman, "I need you to have Abigail call the Mercy General Hospital and get them send the maximum dose of several of their antibiotics as soon as possible. Jack has a serious infection." Panic covered Hickman's face, he left in a rush. I laid there thinking about all the possibilities that could happen. Faith opened the door letting Elizabeth in. She ran and sat besides me. Carson gave me a shot in my arm. He then sat and told Elizabeth what he had told me. "If he goes into another coma there is not guarantee he will wake up. I have sent Hickman to have Abigail call Mercy Hospital to send their strongest antibiotics. This is very serious. He will need a lot of rest. I believe if we can get the meds started soon, we will have caught it in time. I am going to see if Abigail was able to get in touch with Mercy. I will be right back." As he left General Collins and Nathan came in. Carson told them he would be back in just a few moments to explain everything. Nathan came and knelt next to Elizabeth. "We heard Hickman telling Abigail about the medications. What can I do?" he asked. In that moment I knew what I had to do. I couldn't leave doubt about how I felt. I took Elizabeth's hand and looked at her and Nathan, "If something happens to me, I want you two to be together. You obviously care for each other deeply. Little Jack loves Nathan and I know you will have a beautiful life together. I don't want either of you to feel like you are betraying me. I want this for both of you." Elizabeth began to cry, "Jack, STOP! You are going to be fine." "We don't know that, and I don't want either of you to feel bad. This is what I want." Nathan just looked at me, "Jack, never doubt that I will be there for Elizabeth and Jack, but I can't promise we will have a life together. I know her heart is yours and after seeing you two together I know I deserve that same type of love." I began to get very tired; I couldn't keep my eyes open…