When the gate closed behind them, it felt more like confinement than safety. Daryl figured he weren't the only one who thought so, either, goin' by the way Carol's fingers dug into his sides. He focused on the air goin' in and out of his lungs and on cataloguing the placement of all of their former group as a way of distractin' himself from the way his stomach rolled when her grip tightened. Daryl didn't like people bein' behind him, and he didn't like people pawing at him, but sometimes if he kept remindin' himself that it was her he could hide it from her. Carol would likely take it all manner of wrong, and it bothered him more that she would think he didn't want her to touch him than it did that somebody was touchin' him. That was somethin' that he might ponder on later, if he couldn't find a way to chase it out of his head all together.
Still, there was this thing she always did right before she let go, something between a pat and a rub just above his waist before her fingers trailed along his side and away. He wouldn't go so far as to say he liked it, exactly, so much as that he anticipated it in a not bad kinda way. He kept one eye on her as she crossed the asphalt, walking slowly toward where the rest of the group was all huddled together, mouths gaping open.
Rick and T-Dog were getting closer, the latter grinning wide, "Almost wouldn't have recognized Carol, man," he said.
Daryl blinked in surprise, then turned his head in time to catch her opening her arms wide toward Glenn and walking right into the middle of the group. As much as he thought Rick was a jackass for the way he'd acted in the parking lot, she was being a bit less cautious than she should. He whistled a be careful at her, and she tossed his way. Right. He wasn't the one walking into a group of people that might have decided they weren't friends anymore.
Which reminded him that he hadn't answered T. "Ain't no different," he said, tilting his head toward her. Sure, she was wearing a few more layers and she'd changed out those horrible girl shoes for some tennis shoes so at least she wouldn't fall in the middle of a fight, but other than that it was still just Carol. "Got her shoes," he said, nodding.
"Yeah. Right. It's the shoes," T said, grinning. Rick was just standing there, looking like he was waiting for something.
"Time the food gets done sun'll be down," Daryl started, just as Lori and Carol arrived. It wasn't until he was handing the game bag and a couple of potatos to Carol that he realized he'd been getting' 'em ready for her. She smiled at him, big and bright, and his stomach twisted.
Next he knew, her and Lori had their heads together over a camp stove, tittering back and forth and gigglin' like little girls. He lit a cigarette and found a place to lean while he smoked, ignoring the stares he was getting.
Rick made a scoffing in the back of his throat and said, "I'm gonna switch watches with Maggie. We need to talk."
Daryl gave him half a nod, then shrugged at T-Dog, "So what do you think he's gonna want in exchange for stayin' inside these gates 'til sunrise? Ain't got much."
"Sunrise?" T's face fell. "Man, Rick's waitin' for you to ask to come back. He's just makin' ya sweat a little."
"Ain't happenin'," Daryl said, choking back a smart remark. "Just lookin' for gas and a truck. Somethin' got a bed big enough for the bike, a cab to sleep in, and a tank of gas. Just let us know what direction y'all ain't cleaned out so we got a chance, s'all we askin'. She wants dinner and a visit, an' I'm all for that, but ain't nothin' else changed."
He didn't know until he said it that it was a lie. These people had changed. They were leaner, dirtier, and their eyes were sharper and quicker moving. They were more like people he was real damned familiar with, the kind he'd been seein' in the mirror since he got old enough to notice the difference.
"Look, that was his kid, y'know? And I'll be honest, man, we need you. I don't think anybody really knew how much food you were bringing in 'til you weren't, and that was wrong. I admit that. I've been out there, and I haven't even seen something to shoot at."
Daryl met the other man's eyes long enough to get uncomfortable, then took a drag off his cigarette to buy himself some thinkin' time. He wanted to say it right. "Ain't about that. Could take you out in the morning. Set some snares. Show you how to reset 'em. Go out just before sunup, just the three of us. Gonna have to go a ways from here, though. Ain't nothin' but landscaped bullshit all around you. But tell me somethin', how you decide things?"
"Rick's a good leader," T said.
"Yeah, and that answers my fuckin' question. I don't got nothin' again' 'im. Man's lookin' out for his family, and I get that. And I ain't sayin' he don't do a good job leadin', either. But me and Carol? We got our own ways, y'know? 'sides, we ain't found Merle yet. And even if we had? Rick was pointin' a gun at my head again not an hour ago. Man, I hung out with Merle and his so-called buddies, and ain't none of them pointed a gun at me near as much as Rick Grimes."
"Which buddies are those? 'Cause that's a nice paint job his bike has, Daryl. You understand how a person might find that comparison insulting?" He'd noticed Rick approaching, but he hadn't expected him to interrupt the discussion.
Daryl shrugged, "You understand how a man might find a gun pointed at him unpleasant? I ain't gonna defend Merle. He's an asshole. Got asshole friends. He's still my brother. You ain't got the first clue what you're talking about when you talk about him."
"Dinner's almost ready," Carol said, putting herself in between them and smiling at Rick. "Lori sent me to get all of you."
Daryl blew out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "You want me to ask these guys if we could stay with 'em?," he said, loud enough for every one of 'em to hear, from Maggie up next to the gate to the group gathered in front of the camp stove waiting on their stew.
Carol shook her head, but he noticed that she was staring at him instead of meeting Rick's gaze. "Let's just have a good visit, okay? Part friends in the morning. There's no reason to fight, we're only going to be here for a little while."
She was trying to tell him something with her expression that he just wasn't catching. He gave her a half shrug so she'd know he was missing it, but she just whistled caution at him again.
He nodded at her and moved toward the group.
Daryl spent dinner watching her talk to everyone in turns, smiling and nodding and laughing. There was somethin' off about her laugh. Somethin' not quite real about it, but he seemed to be the only one that was noticing. He was only half paying attention to what was said, instead watching the way Hershel and Glenn kept glancing between him and Rick when they thought he wasn't looking.
Later, just as the sun was starting to dip below the horizon, Rick said, "I'm relieving Maggie on watch. Walk with me."
He shot a glance at Carol, whispering something in Beth's ear that made the girl's eyes light up and her smile brighten. He whistled "headed east" and waited for her to signal acknowledgement before he nodded and climbed to his feet.
"That works good for you guys. The whistles?" Rick sounded like a man who was trying very hard to be pleasant.
Daryl shrugged. "Got hand signals too. Walkers come to sound. Come to scent. Come to light. Got a lot of people here, all bunched up together, and there's a good breeze. Gonna have 'em bunched up against your gates by mornin'."
Rick nodded. "We're going to need to move soon. We pick them off as they get close. Can't do much in the dark except watch for people and listen. People'll bring light with them. Walkers just rattle the fences. It can be hard to take them out in the dark, so unless it starts to make too much noise we just let them be until there's light."
"Gonna draw a herd eventually," Daryl said.
Rick nodded. "Yeah. We could use you here, Daryl. If you want me to apologize for earlier, with Carl? I will. You've been gone a long time, and this world, it changes people. It scared me, seeing him between you guys. I didn't know how much the world might have changed you."
Rick leaned in a bit, trying to meet Daryl's eyes, his face open and friendly lookin'.
"Yeah. World changes people," Daryl agreed, not quite forgiveness but not a grudge, either. "As for the other, we're gonna find Merle." He didn't say that they had something better than what they did. Hell, for all he knew Hershel would want his farm back. Instead, he said, "It's a trade-off. Two people is quieter, less scent for the wind to carry, need less food. Hell, we need less of everything. Got fewer hands, though. Not near as much help."
"Exactly. There's safety in numbers, Daryl."
"Only if it's the right numbers. They follow you, and how you run things is up to you, but me and Carol, we ain't followin' people anymore. Can be friends. Hell, we want to trade some stuff with ya, but I think Carol's handlin' that with your wife," Daryl grunted, frustrated with the ire growing on Rick's face, "ain't about whether we think you're good at it or not, man. You could be the best leader on the planet, wouldn't make no difference to us. Ain't never decided nothin' for herself, right? I been followin' behind Merle since – well, hell of a long time. Time to grow the fuck up and can't do that while we're askin' you when to eat, sleep and piss, man."
The muscles in Rick's jaw were working themselves into a frenzy, but the other man nodded stiffly at him and strode ahead to whisper something to Maggie. The woman hadn't spent much time around Daryl before, and he didn't know her other than as the woman Glenn was ass over tits for, so he just nodded at amiably before turning on his heel and going off to find Carol.
She was in the area that had been "assigned" to them, and it nearly made Daryl turn around and go back to have another talk with the man he'd almost called friend just a minute ago.
"Well?" She said, head tilted to the side and eyebrows nearing her hairline.
Carol was sitting with her back against the outside of one of the storage units, far enough from the others for the darkness to hide them from the other group.
"Trust 'em to keep watch, at least" Daryl said. They had two blankets and a sleeping bag, but he'd intended them to be inside a building or at least a car. The wind whipped between the buildings, and sleet and snow were mixing together to make a wet mess of everything.
The positioning, he knew, was Rick's little statement. This sign that Daryl's "group" was welcome inside the fences but away from "his people" was meant to make them break down and ask to come back, Daryl was sure of it.
"Damn prick."
Carol sighed, "We'd've been outside anyway." She was trying to sound upbeat, but Daryl could hear her teeth chattering.
"Be home tomorrow. Just one night," he handed her both bedrolls. "Get warm."
"Don't be an idiot. Come on. We'll share body heat."
Her hand landed on his arm, startling him into shuffling away from her. Nausea hit hard and fast, and he turned his head while he took deep breaths.
Carol had grown very still.
"Sorry."
"No problem," he said. "Um –," he'd knew that almost throwing up at the thought of snuggling under blankets with a woman could be taken badly, but for the life of him he couldn't think of a damned thing to say.
"No, I know you don't like to be surprised. I don't either. I wasn't thinking."
"Just like to see it comin'. Ain't personal."
"I know. Forgive me?"
Damn woman. "Ain't done nothin' wrong. Stop apologizing all the time."
"Sorry."
He turned his head to glare at her, only to find they were too far apart for him to see her in the dark.
"Get closer. Can't see you."
She scooted close enough to feel, the reached across him long enough to drop the blankets over him. "Better?"
He could feel her shivering.
"Get your ass over here," he said, lifting his arm. "Can't take all that shaking."
Carol curled into his side, one arm slug around his waist and her hair tickling his nose. She was was damp and cold and smelled of exhaust fumes and stewing rabbit. The scents went together better than he would have imagined them. Daryl took a silent inventory of every place they were touching, forcing each muscle into relaxation. That's Carol's knee against his left thigh. Just her knee. It was only Carol's arm around his waist. Her arm was just resting there. She wasn't trying to hold him down, her arm just weighed that much. It wasn't much really. Just heavy enough to be there. He could move if he wanted to. Except it was Carol's arm, and it felt kind of nice. Just touching, nothing else.
He was asleep before he got to the feel of her head on his shoulder.
He woke to the sound of footsteps approaching. He looked up to see T-Dog a short distance away, smirking at him as he tried to extricate himself from Carol without waking her.
"I'm awake," she whispered. "Sun's not up yet."
"Taking T-Dog out. Layin' some snares. You sleep another couple hours. We'll head out when I get back."
"Maggie and Glenn are going out and bringing us a pickup with a tank of gas. They might not be back before noon."
Daryl stopped in the middle of rearranging the blankets around her, and said, "How the hell did you manage that?"
"Three boxes of those tampons you say I hoard and a pack of condoms."
"Why the hell are you carryin' around condoms?" The question was out before he could catch it, and he heard a muffled snort from him that told him T was taking every damn bit of this conversation the wrong way.
"Don't worry, there's plenty more where those came from. I'm in charge of inventory, right?" Carol winked at him. Winked. The heat coming off his face woulda been enough to keep them both warm.
"You happy?"
"Ecstatic. Be careful. Bring me back a nice plump rabbit."
"You'll be lucky I bring you a rat," he muttered, fighting a grin.
"We won't get anything if you don't kiss the lady goodbye and get moving," T said.
"Don't be an asshole," Daryl said, straightening and reaching for his bow. "Or I won't show you a damned thing."