Title: A Lid For Every Pot, George Weasley
Author: BooksVCigarettes
Summary: Set a couple of years post-war. Still struggling with the absence of his twin, George Weasley needs some time away from the world he grew up in to heal. Alice Clark wants a flat mate who doesn't want to kill and eat her. It was perfect... Except not really. George/OC Ron/Hermione Harry/Ginny
Chapter 8 - Deal
It was more a hoarse bark than a scream, to be truthful. Alice wheezed as she (only partially successfully) choked back a lungful of air. The UnGeorge regarded her with a level of amusement, his arms crossed as though surveying his handiwork.
"You know, I have to say as my first proper victim you've been outstanding. I've never seen that shade of purple outside of Pygmy Puff mating season."
Victim? What did he mean by that? Had she ended up inviting a killer into her home after all? Alice squinted through watering eyes at the man who looked exactly like her lodger but patently wasn't, opening and closing her mouth like a fish, trying desperately to remember where Pete kept that stupid old cricket bat that he hadn't taken with him when he moved out. The UnGeorge simply stood grinning at her. In the end, she simply croaked "... Pygmy Puffs?"
UnGeorge nodded "Yes. They're quite a charming shade most of the year, but something about being in heat turns them the colour of what I now know is a frightened woman choking." He smiled winningly again "Thanks for not disappointing me."
"You're... welcome?" Alice replied, feeling more and more confused every time UnGeorge opened his mouth. She weighed up her options and in the end decided to ask his opinion "I'm still not sure whether to call the police."
"You're not sure whether to call the police and tell them there's a strange man in your home wearing an excellent hat who attempted to scare you?"
"You look just like my lodger..." Alice attempted weakly, moving to sit on the piano stool. UnGeorge stayed where he was in the middle of the carpet.
"The reason you don't want to call the police is because I look like your lodger and not because of the hat? I find that very hard to believe - this hat is terribly persuasive."
"Forget the hat," Alice snapped irritably "The reason I don't want to call the police is because you haven't yet attempted to murder me and for all I know George let you in which means you didn't even break and enter so all you might be guilty of is having a cruel sense of humour."
"How dare you; my sense of humour is impeccable and not remotely cruel… unless you're a Slytherin. Oh, and a tip that will serve you well in future: it may be best not to wait until a stranger in your flat tries to murder you before calling the police. With the exception of me, of course. I'm quite safe."
Alice reached up to rub her temples "Who are you?" And then, as an afterthought "And what the hell is a Slytherin?"
UnGeorge spread his arms wide and bowed once again "I'm the better-looking twin."
"You can't be his twin, you're at least a few years younger than him. Besides, that's in pretty poor taste, seeing as George lost his twin." Alice sniffed disapprovingly at UnGeorge's inappropriate joke "So what are you then, one of his younger brothers?"
The redhead raised a sardonic eyebrow "Lost? Is that how us poor dead sods get referred to these days? Like we've been misplaced along with the sock that never has a match? My family lost me, like a set of keys or a shopping list?"
"If you think for one minute I'm going to buy that you're dead then you've got another- what the fuck did you just do?" Alice gaped as UnGeorge walked, quite casually, through her sofa. It was as though he were made of air. UnGeorge held his arms out as if this action alone might demonstrate his point.
"Still don't believe I'm dead?"
"I'd sooner believe that I'd gone fucking bonkers than believe you're the ghost of my lodger's dead twin." Alice covered her face with her hands "That's it isn't it? I've finally lost my shit, haven't I?"
"Why are you asking me if you think I'm a hallucination? And perhaps you'd like to call me Fred - that is, if 'ghost of lodger's dead twin' seems like a bit of a mouthful to you."
"When I open my eyes, you'd better be gone."
"Listen love, I didn't do as I was told when I was alive. What in Merlin's name makes you think I'd start doing it just because you'd like to kid yourself that you're having a breakdown?"
Alice's hands slid from her face "If you're a ghost, then how come you look solid? I thought ghosts were supposed to be all silvery and see-through and made of dry ice."
"Dry-what? Most ghosts are quite see-through… eventually. As it happens, I'm still fairly new for a ghost," Fred The Ghost admitted, glancing down at himself "It turns out you only get to look like a proper ghost when you've been around for a bit."
Alice shook her head disbelievingly "I can't believe I'm actually having this conversation."
"Why not? Surely a paranormal spirit in one's home is preferable to adult onset insanity?" Fred The Ghost had taken to wandering around Alice's living room, looking at her things.
"Don't be so sure." Alice said grimly. A thought struck her "If you're George's brother, then why are you talking to me?"
"Now that," Fred The Ghost wheeled around to look at her once more, grinning "Is an excellent question. Not one that I actually know the answer to, mind you. But an excellent question nonetheless."
Alice frowned "What do you mean?"
"Ghosts have a purpose – some reason they can't be at peace. You could call it unfinished business, but seeing as I never had the pleasure of your acquaintance when I was breathing I suspect our business has yet to start." He paused and looked at her "I don't suppose you're looking to get into the joke trade?"
Alice shook her head "Sorry."
Fred The Ghost's face fell "Shame. That would have been straightforward. I'm not really sure what help I'm qualified to offer someone who reads books like…" he cocked his head to one side in order to squint at her book titles "'Lone Wolf Terrorism and Social Media' or 'Hate Speech and the Radicalisation Process'. What on earth do you do for work? Suck the joy out of rooms?" He stared around the room "Is my brother… OK? I mean – does he… this just… doesn't seem like the sort of place he would live."
"I've only known him a few weeks," Alice admitted "But the friend who put him in touch with me when I advertised for a lodger… she didn't seem to think he was doing so well."
"Was this friend by any chance a curly-haired bookish creature called Hermione who knows everything about everything?" Alice nodded and Fred The Ghost's shoulders slumped "Well if she's worried then things must be seriously wrong."
"I'm sorry." Alice murmured quietly, unsure what else to say. Fred The Ghost had seemingly deflated before her eyes "He's only downstairs," she offered, feeling wholly ridiculous; this was easily the most bizarre thing to ever happen to her "I could… get him for you if you like?" In spite of her growing confusion, she was surprised to see him look troubled at her suggestion "Unless you don't want to see him? Would he even be able to see you?"
Fred The Ghost smiled a little thinly "I want to see him more than anything, but… I'm afraid it will hurt him."
Alice felt a twinge of sympathy before reminding herself that there was still a good chance that she was talking to a figment of her imagination. Something struck her and she frowned slightly "Does that mean you could have appeared to him before now but chose not to?"
Fred The Ghost didn't say anything but the look in his eyes told Alice everything she needed to know "Why though? Surely he's the one person who would need to see you the most?"
"It's not that simple," Fred The Ghost sighed wearily "If he realises that I'm not completely… gone, he'll want to-" He cut himself short, running a hand through his hair "Just trust me when I say it will do him more harm than good, alright? You can't tell him you've seen me."
"Are you kidding me?" Alice crossed her arms and glared at him "I don't know whether to be more annoyed that I've got a ghost in my flat when up until about fifteen minutes I ago I didn't believe in ghosts, or that said ghost is expecting me to be his enabler by neglecting to mention to George that his dead twin brother is haunting my flat and not providing any reasonable explanation as to why."
"You've got a ghost in your flat who happens to be the dead twin of your current lodger who you barely know and you're surprised because he's making a nonsensical demand?" Fred The Ghost retorted, grinning mischievously.
Alice rolled her eyes "OK, Fred The Ghost. I'll make a deal with you. I won't tell George about you if you figure out what this unfinished business is and take care of it as soon as possible. Is that fair?"
Fred The Ghost nodded, still smiling "Deal." He stuck out his hand and Alice instinctively went to take it, recoiling when her hand went straight through his. It felt like cold, damp air. She looked up to see him smirking at her.
"Gotcha."
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