Hey guys! This is part II about the past. Warning that this chapter is a bit dark. You're finally going to learn how Calliope ended up in the orphanage and why she does everything on her own. This chapter is meant to show Calliope's growth as she finally talks about the trauma she's endured.
"I don't understand," Steve complained after I told him my side of the story. As soon as I got out of the shower and changed into a fresh pair of clothes, the food Steve had ordered arrived. As we ate I began explaining everything that happened since he advised me to speak to Bruce about my powers. "Why didn't you call me?"
"I was going to, but Clint came to the Academy, and I freaked. The only thing I could think of is escaping," I explain to my friend. I feel guilty about stressing everyone when it wasn't my intention to do so. The last thing I wanted to do is cause a panic. "It won't happen again, I promise."
Steve pulled a face when I said this, but I'm quick to add on to what I said. "Listen, Steve, I know it might not seem like it, but I did learn a lot while I was away. That includes trusting others. I'm aware it took me a while to reach this point, but I am starting to trust others..."
"You had us worried. We didn't know what happened or how to find you."
"I know, and I'm sorry. Nevertheless, I'm not surprised by how S.H.I.E.L.D. reacted to my disappearance."
"Don't worry about them," Steve said as his features harden when the organization is brought up again. Steve has already told me everything about the meeting that occurred hours after I left Earth. He's still angry with the way they went about trying to find me, and no amount of reassurances will change his sentiments on the subject.
"Steve, I understand you're upset, but I'm used to this kind of reaction."
"Which is why they shouldn't have acted that way in the first place. What if we weren't friends. What would have happened? You would have never returned."
Seeing how upset the blond is I finally realize it wasn't just S.H.I.E.L.D. he was upset at. He's mad at me as well. The only reason he hasn't expressed it is probably because he suspects I'll leave if he does. That's my M.O. after all. I'm a runner. I run from my problems, people, and life itself.
Letting out a low sigh, I finally speak up, "Steve, why don't you just tell me how you really feel."
"What do you mean?"
"I know you're upset with me for leaving. Just admit it."
"If you know, then why ask?" he murmured to me. Right, when I was about to reply, he holds his hand up, signaling me to stop. "I get it, okay. It's just hard knowing that the only friend I have in this century can fly off and never return. It doesn't matter to her who she leaves behind."
"I know it might have seemed that way, but I promise it wasn't like that. It's just instinct for me to run away when something bad happens. It's a terrible habit, I know, but it was my only way to get through life... I might have not lived through a war but the life I lived feels like a battleground. Each night I have nightmares about it. It's like a horror film that plays over and over again about every tragedy that transpired in my entire life, but I can't do anything about it. I couldn't then and I can't now so I run. Now I realize how terrible it is to run because once you start it's horrible when you stop. This is why I promise you don't have to worry about that anymore. I'm going to do what I can to control my powers and work with Banner to figure them out."
"Really?"
"Yes, because I don't wanna be alone either," I admit to the captain. "I've realized on Asgard that it's been some time since I've really been alone. Having friends and being near people, it's helped me. I don't want to be alone again. Although it's going to take a bit more time for me to fully trust others, I at least trust you and Thor... Banner, and maybe Stark too."
"Alright, but the next time a situation like this comes up, call me. I'm on your side, Cal."
"I'll do you one better. If anything bad happens, we'll have a code to warn the other so we can drop off the face of the map and meet up somewhere."
"What's the code?"
"Let's go watch a Dodgers game," I smirked at Steve as I try to lighten up the mood in the room. When the blond hears this, he pulls a frown and scowls at me. Ever since he heard about the Dodgers changing states while he was frozen, I've been forbidden to ever bring up the team again. He's always talking about how their traitors and they ruined everything.
"No."
"Come on-"
"No!"
"Steve, it works!"
"I won't say that name!"
"Please!"
The man groans as he finally relents. Nodding his head at me, I can't help but allow a laugh to escape me. He really is a good sport whenever I'm making fun of him.
"Great," I said, clapping my hands. "And whenever either one of us says this, we'll meet up at the Old Town Books shop on 104 S Union St."
"Okay, but in the meantime, what are you going to do about what Frigga told you?"
"I'm probably going to meet up with Banner and check up on Stark. I have to let the Doctor know about what the Queen found. That way we can come up with a plan to handle this in the future."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"If you want," I shrugged, not minding in the least. "Before we go, I do need actual clothes," I said, pointing to my outfit, which is a mishmash of Steve's belongings. "Do you mind grabbing me some stuff?"
"Not at all, but don't you think some people will find it suspicious? S.H.I.E.L.D. might figure out your here."
"That's why you're going to grab my emergency pack."
"You have one of those?"
"Yeah, I have a bunch hidden all over the place, don't you?"
...
"I'll help you make one," I told the man. Rising from my seat, I grab a pen and paper to write down a location. Once I'm done, I hand it to Steve. "Follow the directions tomorrow morning, and you should find my stuff in a purple backpack."
"Alright," he agreed, pocketing the piece of paper. "In the meantime, let's get some rest. It's late, and we've had a big day. We'll figure everything out tomorrow. I'll sleep on the couch while you take the bed. No objections!"
"Aye-aye, Captain," I said while giving the man a mock salute. I know better than to argue with the man about things such as this. He's a gentleman at heart, and Steve's from the 40s (very old school mentality). He won't take no for an answer.
Laying down on his bed, I feel safe. It's a feeling I don't get often, but whenever I'm near Steve, a sense of security comes over me. As if nothing can ever harm me. I haven't felt this way in years. Not since the day, my family broke apart. My first family.
The next day, as Steve and I get ready to head to Stark towers, I think about what Odin told me before I left Asgard. The entity called Raja. I wonder who this being is? I haven't told Steve about her simply because I don't know what to make of the situation. All I have to prove her existence is Odin's word and the note Raja wrote to me. Until I gather more information on the entity, I think I'll keep this to myself.
Once we're ready, we leave the apartment undercover. When we found a secluded area far from the public eye, I flew us to Stark Towers. As soon as we land on the balcony, we were greeted with a familiar voice.
"Miss Rodriguez, Captain Rogers," J.A.R.V.I.S. announced as we walked inside. "Welcome back to the tower. Shall I inform Mr. Stark that you have arrived?"
"No, I rather surprise him," I respond to the robotic voice. "Where is he?"
"Down in the lab with Dr. Banner."
"Thank you~."
It didn't take us long to head to the lab. Like always, when I enter the lab, the two don't even look in my direction. So absorbed in whatever they're doing, they fail to notice Steve and I join them. Deciding to have some fun, I quietly walk up behind Tony and surprise him with a hello.
The man whirls around with a shout, clutching his chest dramatically before realizing it's me. Banner drops all of the instruments in his hands when Tony screams. When he turned to face what has startled his companion, only to see me, his face forms a weak but relieved smile.
"Hey, guys," I shyly greet the two men. "Long time, no see."
"Calliope!" Tony yells, surprising me with a hug that I return a moment later. Letting me go, he begins to speak once more. "Where have you been? Cap? So you did know? Explain!"
Before the two can begin to argue, I cut back into the conversation. "Actually, I just got back yesterday afternoon. Steve allowed me to stay with him in the meantime, and I'm hoping you guys won't tell anyone I'm here. I just want one more day without S.H.I.E.L.D. breathing down my neck."
"No problem, sweetheart, your secret is safe with me."
"We're just glad you're safe," Banner said as he offers me a shy smile. "We were all worried about you."
"I know, and I apologize for that, but I would like to offer an explanation to that and more."
"More?"
"More, Dr. Banner, because I have some information that might be useful for the experiments we've been conducting."
"Wait, Tony-"
"Don't worry, I trust him with this knowledge," I said, looking at the other genius. The look of pure shock that appears on his face warms my heart, as does his smile. "So, if you don't mind, let's start from the beginning."
It took some time to explain everything to the two scientists, but they understood why I did everything. Bruce even apologized for scaring me since that wasn't his intention. All he wanted to do is inform me of the possible outcomes. Once we moved on from the apologies, the two solely focused on the test that was performed on me by the Queen. I had to go over everything in great detail since the two began taking notes on it. What confused the two even more, and Steve as well, is what Odin did. However, I still didn't want to inform them about Raja, so I simply said that the King wanted me to leave.
"And that's it," I concluded to the three.
"So, from what I gathered is that the cosmic rays inside your body are from another galaxy, and it continues to grow as you age. An evolution, Queen Frigga called it."
"Yes, I expect more changes are to occur," I informed Bruce. "She also said that new cells must have been injected into my body that changed my DNA, allowing me to thrive with the radiation."
"In any case, this helps with the exams, and at least for the time being, we don't have to worry about any ill effects it may have on your body. We'll keep an eye on it, but it seems as though the Queen is certain that your thriving."
"So, what do we do now?"
"We could monitor your advancement and help you learn to control your powers," Tony said, bringing up holo screens he can type on. "This way, we know how far you progress as the weeks go on. We'll just have to make a schedule that won't interfere with the one you have now."
"Also, if you want, I can continue to conduct exams on you," Dr. Banner offered, raising his glasses that continue to slip down his face. I agreed with both ideas, and the two began writing things down. "By the way, Calliope, do you mind telling us what you said to the Queen."
"Sorry?"
Looking up from his notes to face me, Bruce understood why I hesitated. He quickly went on to explain, "You explained how you came in contact with the radiation and the... experiments that were done on you. Do you mind telling us, it may be beneficial in the future. If you don't wish to, I understand but it may be difficult to conduct tests in the future with no information to go on."
I didn't respond to him; instead, I turned from the group of men to look at the wall on the other side of the lab. I rather look at the wall or float in the abyss of space again than to speak about my past. The reason I hate speaking about my past is due to the pain it brings me. Thinking about what I could have done differently or how I should have known it was a trap basically drowns me in regret. Not to mention having to relive everything that happened is another nightmare I hate going through. Still, if I continue to hold it in, will I ever heal? Most likely not. I've always heard speaking about the past is supposed to set you free. Perhaps telling my story may heal me, or perhaps it won't, but I won't know unless I try. Plus, I trust these men to help me when I hit rock bottom. I mean, they have proven themselves, right?
"Listen, sweetheart, you don't have to tell us," Tony said, interrupting my train of thought. "It wasn't long ago that you asked me if I was alright, and I lied to you."
Turning to face the man, I see his face ghost over with regret. He looks so hurt that it's hard to imagine this is the same man that offered me a warm smile not long ago. What happened to him when I was gone?
"I didn't tell any of you, not even Pepper or Rhodey at the time, but I'm suffering from PTSD for months. Ever since the battle of New York, actually. Going into space, almost dying, it really does something to a guy. Now, after the whole Mandarine ordeal, they know, but it took me such a long time to speak up that I almost lost them. I could have saved myself the trouble instead of self-destructing, but I didn't. If you don't want to tell us about your past, that's fine. Though from one idiot to another, talking does help. At least, it did for me. By the way, Bruce isn't someone you want to talk about your problems with."
"You have got to let that go, Tony," Bruce groaned out loud, putting his face in his hands. Stark refuses to look at the man, instead choosing to cross his arms like a child.
"You fell asleep two minutes into the story."
"I'm not that type of doctor!"
"I know, which is why I'm warning her to not speak to you about her past."
I huffed a laugh as I hear the two bicker. Still, what Tony said only proves what I was thinking earlier. I'm not getting better as the days go by since I refuse to speak. Holding on will only continue to drown me in the past. It's about time I took a real step forward with my life. Hopefully, for once, it will make a difference.
"It's a long story," I mentioned quietly to the group.
"That's alright," a soft voice announced as a hand lands on my shoulder. Looking to my side, I see Steve smiling down at me. "We have the time to listen."
"Okay... where should I start?"
"What happened to your parents?" Tony asked me. "How did you get separated from them and end up in the hands of those psychopaths."
"Well, that happened a long, long time ago. I was a little girl with a loving mom and dad. You know the usual story for a happy kid. Nevertheless, everything changes and it did for us the day my mom gave birth to my sister, Cristina. I was so happy to have a baby sister that I didn't notice the changes in my mom's behavior."
"Postpartum depression?" Banner asked me. The look of confusion from Steve urged the doctor to explain himself. "Some mothers experience postpartum depression, "baby blues", after childbirth. This commonly includes mood swings, crying spells, anxiety, and difficulty sleeping. Baby blues typically begin within the first two to three days after delivery and may last for up to two weeks. But some moms experience a more severe, long-lasting form of depression known as postpartum depression."
"Oh..."
"It wasn't that," I explained to the men. "My mom was always an anxious person, but my dad always told me it had to do with our lifestyle. Houston isn't the safest place in the world, and being a person of color doesn't help. He told me it's an honor to be Hispanic, but the rest of the world doesn't see it that way. So, I left it at that and spent time with my sister. Over time my mom got worse as she thought people were after us, trying to attack our family. It turns out my mom was Schizophrenic, but it was too late by the time we found out. My mom turned violent, saying my sister is the Devil's spawn, and she needed to die before she killed us. My dad stopped her from causing harm to my sister, which made my mom go hysterical. She claimed he was betraying her, and he was possessed. She went on and on about purifying us and sending the devil back to Hell. I even remember her holding me tightly whispering how I have to save her. I didn't understand what she meant back then so all I did was hug her until she went to sleep."
"How come he didn't seek professional help?" Steve asked me.
"You have to understand our situation. We're lower-class citizens and Hispanic at that. My mother was of Mexican descent, and my father is from Argentina, and he had no papers. We were well off but without insurance, so medical bills could be a bit expensive. Plus, most Latinos don't believe in healthcare. If we're in pain, it's a sign of weakness to go to the doctor. It's best to treat it yourself and pray to Heaven for help."
"What happened next?" Tony asked as I finished explaining our financial situation. Walking away from the group, I take a seat on a nearby stool. I look down at my hands and fidget a bit before I continue with the story.
"My dad went to work one day, and he asked the lady next door to keep an eye on us. But the lady had to leave us due to an emergency, so it was only me, my sister, and my mother. I don't know why, but my mom began to scream and shake my sister. It's a wonder how my sister didn't suffer any injuries that day. However, at the time, I thought my sister was in trouble, and as the older sibling, I thought it was my fault. I told my mom to forgive her and to hit me instead. I told her I'll make sure Cristina behaves in the future, and I began to cry. I think it was at that moment, my mom finally realized what she was doing. She put my sister to sleep and told me to keep an eye on her while she took a bath. I was so confused, but I was also happy because it sounded like my mom was okay again. Hoping for the best, I took a nap with my sister. After a couple of hours passed, my sister woke us up for some reason. Cristina was getting fussy so I assumed she was hungry, but my dad still wasn't home and I didn't know where her food was. I grabbed my sister and looked for my mom. I saw the lights still on in the bathroom... I went inside, but the curtains were pulled. Taking a few steps, I suddenly felt something wet touch my feet. It was red... I called out to my mom because I was scared, but she didn't answer. I put my sister down in the hallway and walked back to the bathroom. My heart was pounding, and I felt light-headed. It's as if I knew what happened before I saw it, but I still needed to see it myself. So I pull back the curtains only to see my mother in a pool of her own blood. She took her life six months after my sister was born."
"I've never heard of a Schizophrenic case progressing so rapidly," Bruce whispered, but I couldn't help but huff out a laugh.
"Yeah, it doesn't happen often, but it's just our luck my mom beat the odds," I said bitterly, looking at the scientist. "My father, not being able to withstand the grief, became a drunk. One day, a few weeks after the funeral, he took us for a drive while intoxicated. I fell asleep at some point in the car ride, but when I woke up, my father was dead. Only my sister and I survived the car crash. It's believed that he was trying to kill all of us but only managed to kill himself. Having no living relatives, we were sent to the orphanage. The orphanage was cruel, but we made it our home. As time went on, many couples wanted to adopt my sister, but no one wanted me. I was too old they said. However, my sister would scream until she was red in the face if she was separated from me for too long. It became clear we were a package deal. Still, if no one wanted me, it meant nothing to them if they left my sister behind. Then, out of the blue, arrived a couple looking for a family to call their own. They couldn't have children, or so they claimed, and they didn't mind taking more than one child, no matter the age. We were adopted not too long after that, and things spiraled out of control from there."
"When we arrived at the research center, I was experimented on for years. At first, it started with injections that went in the main arteries. The first series of shots didn't hurt too much, and no side effects were present, so they moved on to the next set. These were injected into the major muscle groups, the spinal cord, and my eyes. Once they said I was ready, they placed a group of us into gas chambers, beds filled with some kind of liquid that felt like it was melting my skin, and rooms that sent rays of energy into our bodies."
"And your sister?" Stark asked, albeit hesitantly. The man looked green in the face. As a matter of fact, all three of the men in front of me varied from expressions of horror to shock. I don't blame them since I feel the same way.
"She was spared for two reasons. The main reason is due to her being an unfit candidate."
"Unfit?"
"Yeah, she's my half-sister. We have the same mom but different dads. I was surprised when I found out but it also made me happy that they couldn't experiment on Cristina. Not everyone has the right genetic code for the experiments, and like the majority of the populace, my sister didn't have the right genes to accept the injections. My real father passed down what was necessary for the experiments to become a success. The genes he passed down were able to accept the new cells the scientist injected into my body. Those cells allowed the radiation to intertwine with my DNA, and here I am."
There was a moment of silence as the men digested the information I gave them. It must be a lot to handle at once, but it might give them some clarity to a few of our past encounters.
"Calliope, I- we-" Steve tries to say, but I stop him before he can stumble through a sentence.
"It's alright, but at least now all of you understand how I feel. Why it's difficult to trust anyone, and why I'm so closed off. I know I have problems, but whether I like to admit it or not... I grew up too fast and without the proper guidance. I just don't know how to function as an adult."
"Well, you are just a kid," Stark said, which I took offense to. "We shouldn't have been so tough on you."
"What? No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"No, I'm not."
"Sweetheart, you are an incredible girl, but you are still a child."
"Punk, no, I'm not! I did not manage to live 18 years only to be disrespected now. I'M AN ADULT! I've waited too long for you to take that from me now Batman reject."
"Wait, I thought you were 17," Dr. Banner asked me before Tony could respond to my comment. "That's what your file says."
"Well, it hasn't been updated," I shrugged at the man. "No one actually knows my birthday. All records have been lost. But I remember as a child that whenever my birthday was celebrated, Christmas movies would be on. So I usually mark my birthday in the month of December."
"You're still a teen," Tony points out with a smirk. I kick him lightly on the shin to shut him up.
"Whatever, diva."
"Call me that one more time, and I'm cutting you off," Stark dramatically said as he whips out a random pair of sunglasses out of nowhere and puts them on. "Anyways, we have a bigger issue at hand."
"Like?"
"What do you want as a birthday gift? Christmas too, and don't be shy about the prices, I can handle it."
Hours later, when Steve and I arrive back at his apartment building, the same conversation we've been having for the past few hours is still going on. I don't know whos more stubborn out of the two of us. What I do know is his neighbors probably can hear our entire conversation as we walk up the flights of stairs.
"Steve, I already told you I don't want a gift or a party," I whined at the man. "I'm not into parties, and I don't do gifts."
"Look, I can agree that parties aren't a big deal, but at least cut a cake with us."
"I don't even know what type of cake I like."
"Have you never tried cake before?"
"When I was a kid, but that was a long time ago. I don't remember what cake my mom would buy for me."
"Okay, well, what type of gift do you want at the very least?" Steve asked as we ascend the last flight of stairs.
"I don't want anything," I shrug at the man. "Honestly, before I left, Stark upgraded everything I owned. So, in short, I have everything I need."
"It's not about need, but what you want," Steve laughed. We stood outside of his door with his keys in his hand. Both of us agreed that I would spend the night at his place until I felt comfortable to return to the academy. Tony actually got jealous since he wanted us to stay the night at the tower.
"Well, I don't exactly do gifts," I shrug, before a voice popped up from behind me.
"Not a materialistic person, I get that," a blonde woman cuts in. "Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt. My name's Kate."
"Calliope, and I'm sure you already know Steve," I said in a monotone voice. "A pleasure."
"Likewise," She smiles before shyly looking at the man beside me. "Steve."
"Kate," he nods his head with a light blush on his cheeks. The nurse quickly enters her residence, and I finally let a smirk grace my face.
"Well then, Steve~," I said in a mocking tone. "Are you gonna stare at her door all night, or are we gonna go inside your apartment?"
"Oh- right... yeah," he stumbles as he opens the door, and I chuckle my way inside. He lightly shoves me before bringing up our previous conversation. "So what do you want for your birthday?"
"Nothing! I'm telling the truth. Plus, I don't do the whole gift thing."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, we were always broke, so I never allowed anyone to give me a gift. I tried my best to give my sister something, albeit small, but it was something."
"...Oh..."
"Yeah, but now that we're on the subject, I have notice something," I begin to say as the two of us settle down on the couch. "Steve, I don't know when your birthday is."
"Right, about that..."
"No, before you say anything, I'm going to stop you. It's only fair I get to know your birthday since you practically know mine."
"Fine, but don't laugh," he said with a grimace. "My birthday is on July 4th, and I'm 26."
"No pues wow, you really are America's golden boy."
"Hey!"
"What? You never said I couldn't say a joke," I point out to him with a smile. Reluctantly, he returns it but I know he isn't really upset with my jest.
"You know," he slowly starts to say. "You've changed a lot since the first time we met."
"Have I?"
"Yeah," he said, smiling gently at me. "There was once a time when you never smiled, let alone relax around anyone. It's nice to see this new side of you."
"I guess," I scratch the back of my head. "I'm still trying to get used to it all. By the way, you mentioned earlier that you had something to show me?"
"Oh right, close your eyes."
"Huh?"
"Close your eyes."
"What- oh, never mind," I said, finally doing as he told me. I hear him leave the room only to return a moment later. "Can I open my eyes now?"
"Yes."
Looking at the man, I see nothing different. Raising an eyebrow, I silently question him. Instead of saying anything, he motions to the coffee table in front of us. I look at the table, and I feel my heart quicken at the sight of a beautifully wrapped box.
"Steve, how-?"
"I may have not known about your birthday, but Christmas did pass."
"I don't understand?"
"Well, I was going to invite you over for Christmas. Granted, I couldn't invite you during Thanksgiving since I was on that mission I told you about, but this time I was free. Anyway, open it."
"But I didn't get you anything..."
"It's okay, I'm just glad I'm not alone anymore," Steve answered truthfully, and it made my heart clench hearing him say that.
Looking at the gift I notice it's a small rectangle that I could carry with one hand. Tearing the snowman wrapping paper, I find a velvet box hidden beneath. Opening the box, I see a beautiful silver locket. It's simple on the outside with the only design on it being a star with a small diamond in the middle of it. However, what's on the inside fill my heart with so many feeling it's difficult to describe. The locket holds a picture of the two most important people in my life on either side.
"How did you...?"
"It wasn't easy if that's what you were wondering. I had to pull a lot of strings to get those pictures, but it's worth it."
"Steve...," I could hardly form a reply as I look at the man. Holding the locket close to my heart, I say the only thing that comes to mind. "Thank you."
Trying to speak about trauma is difficult, but if you're going through something I implore you to seek help. Whether it's professional or just a friend, please talk to someone. Being alone, and drowning in your own thoughts is the worst type of loneliness.
I hope you guys like the chapter and have a great day!