If there is something that Draco Malfoy found out this year, it's just how lonely his life has become from a moment to the next. Secrets, more than anything else, kept people away, and dig holes in places that used to be complete and innocent. A secret always involved building a façade, a new character in your life that no one knew, implied lying to your friends about what is happening to you, although it is quite clear that you have become a depressive bastard. Secrets are a burden, too heavy to carry for too long. And they had the irritating habit of waking you up at three in the morning with sleeplessness. Draco's mind thought of everything, questioned how his mother was. He missed her and the comfort she brought him. He imagined his father's scornful and hateful face, impatient with Draco's results. His father became a walking ghost, only a servant, blinded by hatred, without love for his family. When Draco was a child and listened to Dark Lord stories at the dinner table and promises of a victorious future by his followers that was not exactly what was on his mind. He did not think he would be held hostage in his own home, he would not have thought his future was simply killing or being killed. He did not want to kill anyone. Ever.
Briefly, Draco remembered Granger's words and was filled with a wave of anger. Even Fucking Granger expects something from me. At least she would be the last person Draco would ever feel sorry for disappointing. Tired of listening to himself, Draco got up and put his robes on top of his pajamas. He would not be able to sleep tonight so it was worth doing something useful and walked to the seventh floor, closed his eyes and a giant door appeared in front of him. He entered. One more night.
The heat of summer was fading, giving way to the cool breeze and the beginning of autumn. The temperature in the room had dropped dramatically, everything seemed colder when she returned to her head girl dorm. In the comfort of her sheets, she thought of her meeting with Malfoy hours ago. Stupid git. She refused to admit that the words they exchanged kept her awake, she still felt a shiver in her spine and adrenaline to face Malfoy. Maybe it was a mistake to confront him about being a possible death eater like Harry believes, the last thing she wanted was to have problems with the project assigned to them. She cursed her big mouth and curiosity and turned away noticing the moonlight reflected on the wall of her bedroom. She expected some reaction from Malfoy, that he would shout or call her that horrible name, but nothing came, he just stood there strangely paralyzed. She hated that his scent still seemed to hover over Hermione. Tomorrow she would take a long bath to remove any scent from her enemy.
The morning came faster than Hermione wanted. Instead of her usual morning routine: wake up at 6 in the morning, take a bath in quiet, let her hair dry in the natural and do some light reading while watching the sunrise from her bedroom window. Hermione woke up too late and would hardly have time to eat breakfast. Leaving the bed hurried and sleepy and running to the bathroom she did not even think twice about who might be there and bumps into Malfoy's reasonably muscled body, covered by a towel around her waist. She lifted her head to look at him and regretted it at the exact moment.
"Are muggle-borns are not taught to knock at the door before they come in? It's called education," he said with a sneer. Draco had not slept either, and at the moment the last thing he wanted to deal with was Granger but seeing her fumbling and speechless amused him more than he'd ever imagined.
Hermione became aware of the height difference between her and Malfoy and suddenly felt very small, embarrassed, and even inferior to him. A wave of heat raced through her body, perhaps anger or shame and she straightened as hard as she could, earning only a few centimeters that did not do justice to Malfoy. His hair was completely unkempt and spiked, giving him a more natural, sloppier, and even more humane air. But the circles around his eyes were still there, apparently, she was not the only one who did not sleep tonight. Hermione's eyes drifted for seconds through Malfoy's body but they quickly found the curious, malicious eyes of Draco looking at her as if watching his prey, deeply delicious by her embarrassment.
"You do not deserve my education and the next time lock the damn door. Are you sure you can do it alone or does the mother have to come and help?" Hermione said imitating the best that she could the Draco's usual smirk.
"Am I supposed to be offended?" he still said with a sly grin on his face "Oh, and I'm sure Weasley does not make you blush like that." And with that Draco left the bathroom leaving a furious and incredulous Hermione behind.
After the incident in the bathroom, Hermione Granger wanted to stir something into the fire. Deprived of her sleep and without taking breakfast, she felt herself about to explode or fall asleep during class, however much she liked charms, her body wanted to hang up and go back to bed. Ron was sitting next to her and she could not stop thinking about Malfoy's stupid comment. Ron is a very handsome boy, she thought. He's not the best-looking guy ever but Hermione values other things like personality. Ron had a good heart and was loyal, the same could not be said of Draco's selfish and manipulative nature.
"Hermione, are you okay?" Ron asked as the professor looked for a passage in the book.
No. For reasons beyond my comprehension, I am comparing you to Malfoy.
"Yes, I just did not eat breakfast. I'm tired." Hermione said honestly.
Ron touched her arm lightly and continued to stare at the teacher. He is a good guy, she thought.
At the end of classes, Hermione was defeated. Despite having lunch, her body was still tired from the sleepless night, and knowing that a session on the Defence of the Dark Arts project with Malfoy was waiting for her only made her feel worse. The night before they had agreed, after much discussion, to meet in the library by late afternoon. It was exactly five in the afternoon and according to Malfoy, his lectures would end early because of that you would expect he would be there but to Hermione's annoyance, the library was empty.
Too tired to look for him through the castle Hermione decided to sit down at a table and start doing the project, that is until she fell asleep completely with her head lying on top of a book.
Draco knew he was late to meet Granger in the library but unfortunately, it was not to annoy her to the point of turning red, although it pleased him enough. His mission was failing and every minute that passed the rope around his neck tightened more. Still, he decided to show up at the library around six o'clock in the afternoon and without much surprise found a ball of light brown hair lying on the table. As he approached, he found her asleep his snails falling over her face leaving only her little nose and a small part of her face in sight. Her features seemed troublesome as if she were having a nightmare and Draco knew better than anyone else how horrible that was. Taken by a brief sense of pity he decided to wake her from whatever she was dreaming about by shaking his shoulder abruptly. Hermione jumped up, terrified about what the hell was going on, as she realized she was dreaming.
She was having the worst dream about her parents being killed in front of her as she let out a scream that did not even look like hers. A raw cry of pure pain. When she came back to reality, she notices small tears in her eyes and in her cheeks, which she quickly wiped with the sleeve of her sweater before facing Malfoy's judgment eyes. The last thing she wanted was for him to know her nightmares and to see her cry.
"Where were you?" shouted Hermione, rougher than she intended.
Malfoy did not ignore her semi-red eyes clearly that she was having a horrible nightmare and he felt a little curious about what was going on in her big head.
"I had some things to do. And is anyone keeping you busy at night, Granger?" he asked smirking.
Yes. You, she thought, angry at herself.
Hermione got up and quickly arranged her papers and book in her suitcase. This day had to end. Please.
"Tomorrow, be here in time. Let's get this over so I do not have to deal with you, ever again." she said in a tired and bitter voice.
She felt exhausted after this horrible nightmare and just wanted to get out of there. Hermione started to walk towards the door, but Malfoy stood in front of her, looking intently into her eyes, as if searching for something, some response. She hated it when he approached her like that and how uncomfortable he made her feel, how much out of herself she felt when he looked at her with those turbulent, intense eyes. His jaw twitched as if he wanted to say something but was fighting himself not to say. His eyes said the same and did not leave Hermione's brown eyes for one second. She felt like running out of air and space. Finally, the expression of indifference returned to his face and Malfoy strode away from her. She could breathe again.
"If you convince Madam Pomfrey she can give you some dreamless sleep potion. It works," he said neutrally as if it meant nothing and left the library.