Hermione was not a damn fool. She knew all the facts, all the possible arguments that could justify her behavior, she knew that there would be no favorable scenario in which to allow what was happening, to happen. Still, or maybe, despite all of that righteous rumbling, she was kissing Draco Malfoy and she didn't want to stop. He grabbed her face, harshly and brought his lips to hers in a matter of seconds and she was out of air. The impact of the feeling of his soft lips on her surprised her and she melted into his arms that were around her waist pushing her closer and closer. Hemione let a small moan when he deepened the kiss, this time, hungrier, more desperate than before until they both had to stop to catch their breath. It sounded like such a cliché but she could swear the whole world went silent when they kiss and suddenly everything moved slowly. Draco rested his forehead against hers and they stayed that way for a while, both panting and close to each other. Hermione was not a damn fool. She knew this was over, long before it started.
She considered kissing him again, dragging them back to that moment, indefinitely, until they both forget who they were and what was happening around them. But the last drop of courage she had in her veins disappeared when he raised his head and looked at her. She knew what he was going to say and do. This was a bloody mistake. Don't tell anyone about this. My father will hear about this. Okay, maybe not that.
Terrified of the words that would come out of Draco's mouth, Hermione pulled away and crossed her arms around her chest. "We can pretend we were both drunk." She said, breaking the unbearable silence that settled in the room.
"We can blame it on a lot of things." He said merely. "This, whatever it is, cannot happen again. You know, that right?"
"I do." She said quickly. God, what Harry and Ron would think of her? Kissing the enemy and worse, wanting him even more now. Draco continued looking at her which only made this harder for both of them. "And you don't have to worry. You're secret is safe with me."
He didn't know what exactly he wanted to say— It doesn't have to be this way; This was a mistake; I'm sorry – so he nodded, hoping the silence would be enough, but knowing it wasn't. He took one final look at her, to her flushed cheeks and red, swollen lips. Fuck. She looked beautiful, more than ever, with her wild and ruffled hair. This was not supposed to happen but now that it did, he couldn't pretend it didn't. He couldn't pretend he made the first move; he pressed the kiss on her. Neither he couldn't pretend that a part of him wanted her too, even if he was too coward or afraid to say she was not a distraction or a fling of him being rebellious against his father.
"And for what it's worth, I don't see you that way." She said, one last time, before leaving for her room and closing the door.
"You should." He said, only to himself. Alone in that dark room, with the storm echoing behind him, he stared at her door, wondering what would happen if he had a different childhood, what would happen if she was a pureblood? He smiled at that thought, he couldn't imagine her obeying the rigid etiquette and the courtship of dating. His mind wandered to the kiss again, how passionate she kissed him like she wanted him as bad as he desired her. Maybe in another world, where he didn't grow up in a house full of harsh rules and pureblood mania, he would kiss her freely in the corridors and take her to dates. Maybe in another world, where she had a different family, she would be the one. Maybe she would be the one he would marry. Perhaps he was just losing his mind, surely he was far from sane since the moment the Dark Lord showed up in his house since the awful night that he took the mark and everything inside of him burned. He knew he was sealing his own death and so did his mother. Everything else was borrowed time, like this kiss or him allowing himself to feel something other than hatred. He watched the light in her room disappeared and just like that the moment was gone.
The next morning, Hermione was determined to erase last night from her mind. After a sleepless night, she came up with a plan to avoid Draco for the rest of the school year. Hell, forever even. They had one last meet-up for Snape's assignment tonight and that was it, luckily it won't take all night, and then she was free from Draco Malfoy. Well, she still had to share the room with him but she would figure it out.
She didn't know what happened to her last night, where all that bold courage came from, that impulsive need of him, and the way she surrenders herself to him. But she was not one of Malfoy's girls, running after him, falling in his lap for just one more kiss. This was a bloody mistake and they both agreed on that.
Despite this little rant going inside her head, Hermione was paralyzed behind the door, preparing herself to leave her room, hoping he wasn't there. But some harsh knocks catch her off guard and she thanked for some kind of distraction before she went mad. Hermione opened her bedroom door, only to see him standing in the kitchen, with a mug that said why so serious in his hand. Hermione wanted to laugh, at the irony of it. On another day, she would share this joke with him, teasing him on his always so serious and I'm-better-than-you face but after last night everything felt weird between them.
"Hermione? Are you awake?" Ron shouted from outside, banging at the door.
Breaking the too-intense-and-completely-unnecessary eye contact with Malfoy, she opened the door, facing a half-asleep Ron, with his hair untamed but still, he managed to smile at her, in a goofy way.
"Hi Ron, what happened?" She asked surprised and Ron entered the room.
"Bloody hell. He's here?" He asked her like she was the reason why he was there, absolute forgetting this was his room too. Hermione just rolled her eyes.
"Great, just what I need it. See Weasel's face in the morning, my day is officially ruined." Draco said in a dramatic way, putting his mug down.
Jesus Fucking Christ. Boys.
"Ron! What's the problem?" Hermione asked impatiently, trying to catch his attention.
"It's Ginny, I don't know what's wrong with her, she won't stop bloody crying. Lavender was asking for you." He said still frowning at Malfoy that was watching them in the kitchen.
"What happened?" Hermione asked concerned about her friend. The last time she talked to her was Friday night and that was a not-so-pleasant talk.
"I don't know. She disappeared on us during the weekend, like you did" Ron pointed. "Were you sick?"
"I was studying Ron." She asked annoyed. And doing other things. She hoped he didn't notice her checks that were burning. God damn it, what happened to forget about last night? Hermione felt herself growing more anxious and impatient looking at Ron, and then it got her. He was standing right in the spot where hours ago she kissed Draco. This felt wrong in so many ways, she felt sick on her stomach.
"Let's go then." She said opening the door, without a glance at the boys. She needed to get out of this bloody room. Away from him, really.
Ginny was sitting near the lake, just like Lavender told her. It was almost eight o'clock, the sun was rising slowly and the birds were singing softly around them. Classes were about the begin but for the first time in ever, Hermione didn't care, what she did care for was her friend, that was sitting there, looking so small and fragile, without her typical brightness and usual energy, even in school mornings. Something was deeply wrong. Hermione approached Ginny and sat down next to her, who kept her gaze on the lake. She was freezing cold by the way she was trembling without her cloak.
"Ginny?" Hermione said. "Is everything all right?"
Ginny turned her face away so that Hermione couldn't see her face. She was sure that the young witch was still angry with her until she heard a little sob coming from her side. Hermione immediately jumped into her friend's arms and hugged her, pulling her close, even though Ginny tried to resist. "Ginny, you can talk to me," Hermione whispered at her hair, while Ginny was crying in her arms.
"I fucked up Hermione." Ginny said in tears. Hermione cooped Ginny's checks and now she was looking right at her, waiting for her to open up. "It's okay. Whatever it was, we can fix it."
"No, we can't," Ginny said desperately. "I slept with Dean and it was a mistake."
"With Dean? When, Ginny?" Hermione asked surprised.
"We were talking at the party after you disappeared with Harry and I was so drunk, I wasn't thinking straight, but then I woke up in his bed and I don't know what happened." Ginny sobbed at her shoulder.
"Ginny, you don't remember anything?" Hermione asked nervous, knowing the implications of what Ginny was telling her. "I mean, did you say yes?"
"I don't know! I flirted with him, so I guess I wanted to." Ginny said in desperation.
"What! No Ginny! That's not an excuse. Did he hurt you?" Hermione felt his stomach boil with anger.
"I don't think so. I talked with him… yesterday, he thought I wanted that. But I was drunk, I remember going to his room but that's it. Oh Hermione, what have I done?" She crumbled in Hermione's arms again.
"It's okay Ginny." Hermione hugged tighter, feeling her own tears growing in her eyes. "We need to go see Madame Pomfrey just to check that everything's okay."
"I'm so embarrassed Hermione." Ginny tried to clean her own tears that kept on coming. "I always thought…you know. That my first time would be with someone that I loved. Not like this."
"I know." Hermione held her hand. "I'm sorry Ginny, I shouldn't have left you alone at the party. You were right that night, I'm a selfish cunt."
"I'm really sorry for saying all those things Hermione. I was jealous and tired. You were being a good friend to Harry, he needed you." Ginny nodded like she was understanding or even accepting the truth that only she knew about. "He always needs you and he always will."
"Ginny, it's nothing like that, I promise you. There's nothing between me and Harry, I would never like him that way!" Hermione said, still holding Ginny's hands. She wanted her friend to understand the truth about her and Harry. That there was no hidden love, no passion there, as she imagined. They were family.
"I know you won't Hermione." Ginny said smiling through her tears. "But I don't think he reckons the same about you."
"Ginny, I promise you. Harry only got eyes for you." Hermione said. "He's just scared for his friendship with Ron. You know the boys, he will come around."
"Actually, I think I'm quite tired of boys at the moment." Ginny said, managing a half-smile. Hermione helped her get up, without taking her hand from hers and together they went to the infirmary.
It was half-past nine at this point and Hermione was waiting at the infirmary for Ginny's consultation with madame Pomfrey, unfortunately, she wasn't allowed to accompany Ginny and after much protest, Hermione let go of her hand, with sorrow. She knew it wasn't fair to make this about her but Hermione felt guilty for leaving the party, for leaving Ginny. For what? To Sneak up on Malfoy's secrets, only to find him with Pansy. All seemed pointless at the moment and she didn't recognize herself after the past weeks.
"Hi." Ginny said approaching her. "I'm okay." She assured her.
"Oh Ginny, thank God!" Hermione hugged tight, fighting the tears that were forming in her eyes.
"Thank you for being here, H." Ginny said.
"Do you want me to talk with Dean? If you want, I will." Hermione said defensively. In fact, she would talk to Dean anyway.
"I don't know Hermione. What did he do wrong?" Ginny said, avoiding her eyes.
"Well, if he wasn't that drunk, he surely noticed you were not right! He could have taken advantage of you and if he did, we need to do something about it!"
"Hermione...I just want to rest. Can we talk about it later, please?"? Ginny begged, with tired and sullen eyes.
"Of course. Let's go to the dorms." Hermione said, trying to cheer her up. "A girl's day, what you think? Watching those reality tv shows you love so much."
Ginny smiled. "What about classes? Who are you and what did you do to my friend?"
"I will ask madame a justification that I'm not feeling well. And sometimes there's something more important than education, Ginny." Hermione said proudly. Actually, there are little things more important than education, but she was making a point, on being a good friend when Ginny needed her.
"Words I never thought you would say, my friend." Ginny smiled.
"I think you are a bad influence on me, Ginevra." Hermione said only to make her friend laugh just a little more.