Second to the snow, the one thing I loved about Forks was the color the leaves turned in the fall. Mom and I went to the bakery in town every Sunday morning because there was always some type of new fall-like dessert that was just the best thing I ever had.
This was my second fall in Forks and I had been looking forward to it since last year. The weather was turning cool and Mom had bought me this really cute brown jacket that all of the girls in the sixth grade wanted to have. When you're eleven like me, things like that matter.
Not to me, really. It mattered to Rose but I didn't really think about things like that too much. I was too busy playing on the JV Soccer team and playing with my friends and trying to come up with a cool Halloween costume.
Halloween was in two weeks and Rose, Alice, and I still weren't able to decide on what we wanted to be. Last year we all went as M&Ms. It was the first time that I had matched a costume with friends before and we all just looked so funny in our costumes that we spent most of the night laughing as we made our way house to house.
The boys thought we looked ridiculous but by the end of the night they even tried on our costumes themselves.
It was the best Halloween I had ever had so I wasn't sure how this Halloween could even come close to topping last years.
That was how we found ourselves sprawled out on the beanbags inside The Rec on a dreary and wet Wednesday afternoon, flipping through a magazine looking for costumes. School had gotten out a few hours earlier and practice had been cancelled because of the weather, so naturally I had taken my free time to be with my friends.
With our homework finished hours ago, Alice was going back and forth between looking over our shoulders at the magazines and emptying out these big cardboard boxes filled with fall and Halloween decorations. Edward and Emmett were trying to turn The Rec into a haunted house with whatever material they could use from the boxes Alice was lugging around.
They weren't having much success but they were having fun and that was all that mattered.
It mattered to me because whenever we were having fun, it meant that I got to see Edward smile. It was the same smile from my first summer here and it still made me feel weird.
But in a good way.
Edward didn't smile much, but when he did, it made all the waiting worth it.
Rose nudged my shoulder with hers and pointed to a costume on the page in the magazine. "We can be the people of Grease!"
"Grease?" I said, strangely, eyeing the picture Rose was pointing to. "Who are they?"
Rose and Alice looked at each other before looking back at me like I had two heads.
"You've never seen Grease, Bella?" Alice asked, her eyes wide.
I shook my head.
"It's only like, one of the best movies ever. We should tell Carlisle to rent it for us from Blockbuster on Friday night." Rose said, popping the gum in her mouth and flipping the page over to see if there were any better ideas.
"It has to be this Friday though because next Friday is Halloween!" Alice took this moment to stop unloading the boxes and squeal over to us. She flopped next to us on the edge of the beanbag, making Rose and I fly in the air. We laughed until I grew serious again.
"We won't be going to Trick or Treating at all if we don't find costumes!" I said, beginning to get worried. If we didn't decide on costumes soon, Mom told me she was going to make me one herself.
How embarrassing would that be if I was a sixth grader who's Mom made her own costume?
I wasn't going to let that happen.
"What about this?" Alice asked, pointing to a group of friends in red and white striped sweaters.
"Why are they all dressed in red and white stripes?" Rose questioned, and I could already tell by the hesitation in her voice that she didn't approve of the costumes.
"They're supposed to be Waldo. As in Where's Waldo? And you can hide in the crowd and people would have to find you!"
Rose shrugged her shoulder, "It's okay, I guess."
"Let's keep looking."
The three of us skimmed through the pages, pointing out things we liked as we went on. There wasn't anything that we were too impressed with.
"Whatcha' lookin' at?" Emmett said as he appeared to the right of Rose's shoulder. Emmett was two grades older than us so he was always doing things like that to Rose like it was something he was supposed to do because he was an eighth grader. Edward was in our grade and didn't ever get too close to anyone.
One time, we both reached for a Twizzler at the same time and he quickly dropped his hand but I still saw something weird on his face for a second before his normal face returned. I tried to concentrate on our costumes and not focus on the fact that Edward had slid into a spot on the floor kind of next to me.
"We're trying to find costumes for Halloween but these are all stupid." Rose rolled her eyes and shut the magazine, tossing it on the floor in front of us. She turned around to face the boys. "What are you guys gonna be?"
"I'm gonna be Jason!" exclaimed Emmett as he pretended to slash Edward over and over again. Edward laughed and I felt that thing in my stomach again.
I kind of liked it.
"Who's Jason?" I asked. I watched as my friends all laughed and shook their heads at me. Not Edward, though. He never really laughed at me.
"Geez, Bella, do you watch any movies at all?" Alice joked. She leaned over and hugged me.
"He's this guy that goes around wearing a mask and kills people." Emmett explained.
"Halloween is stupid." It was the first time Edward had spoken since he had sat down near/next to me. Emmett rolled his eyes.
"That's because you don't have a costume, dick." My mom seriously would kill me if she heard the words that came out of his mouth sometimes. I had grown used to it over the year that I had become friends with all of them but it wasn't something that I told my parents.
"You guys should just be M&Ms again this year. You guys looked ridiculous!" Emmett started laughing again at us.
"No way. M&Ms were so last year. This year we're going to find something even better." Rose replied, always able to keep up with Emmett and his relentless teasing. Maybe it was because she was one grade older than us in seventh grade.
"Time's runnin' out." He teased back, and she shoved him playfully and I watched as he pretended that her little shove actually hurt him. It was very entertaining to watch these two. I glanced over at Edward, secretly wishing that I would one day be able to shove him the way that Rose shoved Emmett.
I admitted to myself a long time ago that I had a little crush on Edward but I swore to myself that I would take it to the grave. No one, not even Alice, Rose or my mom, knew that I thought about Edward a lot. I was always wondering where he was and what he was doing. Rose had told me that Edward moved around a lot, from house to house, or to a place where a bunch of kids lived together.
I also knew that Edward never liked to talk about it.
One time he came to school with a black eye and when one of our teachers saw it, we didn't see him for three weeks! It was the longest three weeks ever but one day he showed up at The Rec like nothing had changed.
Maybe that was why he was always so serious. It seemed like Edward was the most grown up out of all of us.
"Hey! I know! We can be characters from that video game!" Rose shouted, pointing over to one of the other TVs where Eric Yorkie was playing Mario Kart. She pointed to the boys. "You guys can be Mario and Luigi and we can be the Princesses! "
"Only if we get to ride around in little cars and race each other." Emmett said and we all laughed, and I could already tell that the idea sounded like a lot of fun.
"Oh my God, this is perfect! Edward, let me see that magazine. Maybe they already have the costumes we can buy!" Alice motioned over towards Edward and he tossed her the magazine. She flipped through the pages so fast I could barely keep up.
"There they are!"
We all leaned over her so we could see what she was talking about.
"Oh my God you guys, this is already so much better than last year. Emmett can be Mario because your hair matches his, Edward can be Luigi because you're both tall, Rose can be Princess Peach because your hair, matches, too. Bella can be Daisy, and I'll be Toad. But a girl version." Alice prattled on a mile a minute, the wheels in her head already turning.
"Tomorrow after school let's go get them. There's one of those Halloween stores in town." Emmett said, and I could tell he was excited now. Halloween excitement was contagious.
Then I remembered, "I have a game tomorrow. But I can see if my mom can take me after."
"I have a thing tomorrow, too." Edward said quietly, looking up from his fingernails quickly at us, his eyes flickering over to me before back down at his fingernails.
Before I even knew what I was saying, the words were flying out of my mouth. "You can come with us, Edward. My mom can pick you up after my game."
I could tell he was thinking about it, making sure that whatever secrets he kept remained that way. Eventually he nodded and his eyes met mine briefly. "Okay. Just pick me up from here."
I know it wasn't a big deal but in my eleven year old mind, it was a huge deal. Even bigger than Halloween itself.
- - - tr - - -
The rain held off the following day, which meant we were battling it out on the soccer field under a huge dome of gray. It was getting colder with each passing day and the ball stung whenever it made contact with my body. After playing all these years it had just become part of the game and I loved it. The steam came off our heads as we sweat on the sidelines, discussing strategy and ways to close the gap between their victory and our defeat.
We played as hard as we could but we still lost, 3 – 2.
Mom was there, sitting on the bleachers with what looked to be about a million layers of jackets on. Rain, shine, or cold, Mom was always there to cheer me on. After our Coach held a quick team meeting, I reached into my bag and slipped on a pair of track pants over my shorts, my legs already warming from the chill of the autumn air. I didn't bother to change my shirt, opting just to leave my jersey on. Mom and I said goodbye to everyone and I quickly got into the car, anxious to see Edward and get our costumes.
I don't think Edward and I ever hung out together by ourselves. There was always at least one other person with us and I glanced at myself in the side mirror quickly, hoping Mom wouldn't notice that I was trying to fix the hair that had come out of my braid during the game.
We got to The Rec about fifteen minutes later and I saw Edward playing outside with a group of kids from Emmett's grade. I didn't know who they all were but he started jogging over to us after a quick wave goodbye once he heard the rumble of our car.
I hopped out of the front seat and slid into the backseat with Edward.
"Hi, Edward. I hope you weren't waiting long. Bella's coach wanted to talk to the team after the game."
I watched him shake his head, his copper colored hair shifting slightly as he did so. "Hello, Mrs. Swan. I just got here a few minutes ago." He spoke a little louder than he usually did, probably so my mom could hear him from the front seat over the heat that was blaring out of the vents.
I don't know if Mom would ever get used to the cold that Forks could bring after spending most of her life beneath the Arizona heat.
She smiled into her rear view mirror. "Good. Are you two ready to go?"
We nodded and soon we were heading into town.
"How was the game?" He asked me once we had turned out of the gravel driveway of The Rec.
"Not bad. We lost, though."
"That sucks."
"Yeah. I scored both of the goals, though." I perked up a little bit.
He looked over at me and smiled real wide. "Two? That's good enough for Varsity."
"Yeah, Coach says I'll probably make Varsity next year in seventh grade."
My mom piped up from the front seat, "Of course you will, sweetie. Especially if you decide to go to soccer camp next summer. Then you'll really be ready."
I rolled my eyes at Edward and pretended to gag and he gifted me with one of those laughs he saved for rare occasions.
"I hope the costumes aren't gone yet," I said in an attempt to change the subject. It wasn't like I didn't want to go to soccer camp; it's just that I would rather spend my time at The Rec with everyone else. They didn't go to sleepaway camp, or soccer camp, or day camp, or anything like that. They just woke up and headed over to The Rec, and to me, that sounded absolutely perfect.
"What will you do if they are?" Edward asked.
"I can make your costumes! I don't mind." Mom interrupted again.
Thank God the lights of downtown caught all of our attention because as much as I loved being this close to Edward in the backseat, I realized just how embarrassing parents can be. It didn't look like Edward minded at all. In fact he kept that smile on his face for the whole car ride.
Soon enough, Edward and I were slipping out of the backseat after my mom found us a place to park. It wasn't far from the store, and even though none of us had ever been there before, it was pretty easy to find. It was the busiest store on the block and it was filled with that fake smoke that spilled out of cauldrons and scary masks almost everywhere around us. We weren't in any rush and spent a good while trying on some masks and other things pretending to scare each other. We didn't mean to but we eventually made it over to costumes meant for kids our age and we split up in order to search for the costumes we were looking for.
It didn't take long to find mine. The sizes were easy enough and I grabbed one off the rack and turned around, looking for Edward. I saw him over near the costumes for boys, and watched as he held his Luigi costume against him. It seemed like a perfect fit until I watched him glance at the wrist of the costume and then put the costume back on the rack.
My heart sank.
"Why aren't you getting the costume?" I asked, walking over to him. The swish of my track pants must have startled him because he turned around abruptly before shrugging his shoulders.
"They don't have my size." His voice was that quiet one again, very different than the one he used in the car.
"Yes they do! Look," I flipped through the costumes again until I found it. I shoved it against his chest. "I found one right here. There's only small, medium, or large. This should be perfect."
I watched as his face changed and suddenly it looked like he was angry. "Halloween is stupid. Who wants to be Luigi, anyway?"
"I like Luigi better than Mario, actually. He's a lot nicer."
"They don't even talk, Bella. How do you know if he's nice or not?"
"Look, he's smiling in this picture." I held up the picture on the price tag. "And look at Mario."
He smiled before it quickly disappeared. He said quietly, "I can't get the costume."
"Why not?" I demanded, and with my hand still holding his costume, I put two and two together when I saw Edward look at the price tag and then back down at the ground in embarrassment.
"I brought all my allowance money." I whispered back to him, looking over my shoulder to make sure this wasn't a time where my mom could chime in something else to further embarrass me. Or Edward.
"So?" Edward asked, and when I placed my costume in the cart with mine he pulled my hands off of the cart. "No way!" He was looking at me like I was crazy. I probably was.
I tried to ignore the fact that he had touched me, even though I kept screaming it in my head with glee.
"Shh! Shh! You can't be the only one out of the group not wearing one."
"I don't care. I hate Halloween." Edward crossed his arms over his chest, set on leaving the store without a costume.
"Well, I love it." I huffed. I shoved the costume back into his chest. "Just do my Math homework for me or something and we'll call it even."
I knew that if I didn't walk away, Edward and I would have argued until the store closed, so I did just that. I walked away, leaving him arguing in a battle with himself. I headed over to the register, pretending to look at Halloween accessories, knowing that I didn't really need any of the things I was looking at. I reached out and grabbed a package full of fancy costume makeup. Even though my Daisy costume didn't necessarily require any special make up or anything, I knew Rose and Alice could teach me how to put this crap on my face. I decided to buy it, too. A few minutes later I saw Edward trudge over to me in line, covertly handing me his costume. He sighed loudly with his face staring towards the ground while I jumped up and down in excitement.
"Thank you." Edward said, and I answered him by doing what I saw Rose do with Emmett the day before.
I nudged his shoulder with mine, and I guess it worked because Edward gave me this cute little half smile before staring back down at the floor in the Halloween store, his face as red as a tomato.
- - - tr - - -
"Mrs. Swan, do you mind dropping me off at The Rec? I forgot my homework." We were driving home from the store and the street where Edward lived on was coming up on the right. The Rec was only a few turns down the road.
"Sure, hon. Not a problem at all." We had found out pretty quickly over the year that we had been in Forks that there wasn't much Mom wouldn't do for my friends and I. She kept the car driving straight down the road, easing the car towards The Rec.
Edward and I had kept a nice conversation in the car while we were driving but now we were quiet, and I was already sad at the thought of our separation. It wasn't like we weren't going to see each other tomorrow in school and at The Rec, but still. I liked being around him.
We pulled up into the driveway and Edward reached to unbuckle his seatbelt, thanking my Mom for the ride.
He looked at me. "You can go. It's going to take me a while to find it."
"I'll help you. Be right back, Mom."
I don't know if Edward heard me because he never answered me. We walked into The Rec, the only light coming from Felix's office and the glow from one of the TVs.
"Bella, go back in the car."
I shook my head hard. "No, I want to help you."
Edward flopped down onto the couch, running his hands over his face. "I don't need any more of your help."
I tried to ignore his harsh words and the way that he spoke them, making me think briefly for a second that maybe he didn't have as much fun tonight as I had. I ignored that feeling in my gut. "I think you do need my help because your backpack is right over there. And Mrs. Cope didn't even give us any homework tonight, remember?"
"Oh, I had other homework to do."
"Good. So let's go back in the car and my mom will take you home." I handed him his backpack and he took it, not moving from his spot on the couch. He sat there looking at the ceiling, his arms wrapped around his backpack tightly.
Why wasn't he moving? He was always the last one to leave The Rec, but something about the way he looked sitting all alone on the couch told me that something was off.
"Are you back at the group home?"
He didn't answer me and for a long time there was only silence between us.
"When?" My voice sounded so small in the dimly lit room. I watched as Edward shifted on the couch so I couldn't see his face.
"Last week."
My eleven year old heart broke for reasons I didn't understand.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?"
"Why would I? It won't change anything."
I walked slowly to where he was sitting on the couch, sliding softly into the chair next to him. He watched me out of the corner of his eye, meeting mine briefly before he dropped his gaze to the floor again.
I didn't know what to say, considering that the last time Edward had been taken out of his foster home and into a group home was something I had no idea even existed, so I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "I'm adopted."
"Really?" Edward looked at me quickly, his grip on his backpack loosening ever so softly.
"Yeah. I've never met my real mom and dad."
We were silent for a few minutes, both of us lost in our deep thoughts.
"Why are you telling me this?" He asked a few minutes later.
I didn't know, really. Maybe it was because Edward and I both had real parents that either didn't, or couldn't, want us? The only difference between us is that I was lucky enough to find two parents who did love and want me, while Edward was bouncing between places to live.
He didn't give me a chance to answer him.
"They're looking into homes for me."
"Around here?"
He shrugged, "Maybe. I hope so."
"Me too." I heard my Mom's horn honk from the driveway. I looked at the window and then back at Edward. He was looking at me expectantly. "I have to go. Can we please take you?" I begged. He shook his head, and even though he hated his situation, I could tell he felt better at least having someone to talk to about it.
"Thanks, though."
We walked over to the door together before he stopped me. "Bella?"
I turned at my name.
"Please don't…tell. Anyone."
"I promise."
And he nudged my shoulder with his, a small smile finally back on his face.
- - - tr - - -
Dear Diary,
I can't believe sixth grade is over and it is summer again! Summer is the best! Sixth grade was a lot of fun, too. We had our first sixth grade social around Christmas, and Alice and Rose and I shaved our legs for the first time! Mom was sooo mad at me for a long time and I was even grounded for a long time because I did something "behind her back". But she's not at me anymore and I'm not grounded so now I can have the most awesome ever! My mom did talk me into going to soccer camp for a few weeks in July, but it's only until 4:00 and then my mom and dad said after that I'm allowed to go to The Rec. Alice and Rose will be there, obviously, and Emmett will be there but not too much because he's going to be practicing for the football team since he's leaving our school and going to high school next year! He said he'll still hang out with us, though. So Rose isn't worried.
At least Edward will still be there. He's living at this new house with old people who don't really check in on him too much. He rides his bike to school and goes to The Rec as soon as we get out. Sometimes he'll let Mom take him to The Rec but mostly he just likes to ride by himself. I asked Dad if I could ride my bike to school and then to The Rec afterschool one day but he said something about something freezing over.
Edward and I are still super close, though. I think what happened at Halloween made us even better friends. He always comes to sit next to me and he always picks me for anything we play or do at The Rec. Carlisle, one of our chaperones, has come up with some really fun and new things for us to do there. Him and Edward get along great.
Well, I gotta go. School may have just gotten out but I need to start doing things that seventh graders do!
Love,
Bella
- - - tr - - -
Up next, seventh grade! See you next week.