"What time did the boys say they'd be here, Bella?"

Mom's voice called up the stairs to where Alice and I were getting ready to go out for the night. It was a Friday night in October and Alice and I were in my room getting ready for our very first Homecoming football game as high school freshman.

It was a big thing, apparently, these football games. Up until a few weeks ago, I had zero interest in anything related to the sport but once Alice and I walked through the doors of Forks High School, it was all anyone talked about. We had Pep Rallies and spirit days and now that Rose was a sophomore and had become a cheerleader and Emmett was starting quarterback for our football team, Alice and I had no choice but to become active spectators. Naturally, we had turned to Edward and Jasper and their expert advice about this sport they call football. Alice and I were at least heading to the game with somewhat of a clue as to what we were going there for.

It didn't seem that complicated, actually. There were downs, and the most important down you could get was the first one. You wanted to get first downs until you made it into the end zone, which is the place where you score the touchdowns.

Simple.

Even with all my newly acquired football knowledge, I was still looking forward to spending the night with Edward more than anything. I had these images of us at the game and they played out like a movie in my head. Us, sipping hot chocolate. Jumping up and down as Forks scored one of those touchdowns. Cheering and holding onto each other as we won the game. And what made these images even better was the fact that every girl that attended Forks High School was looking at me with scowling eyes and tightened fists , their faces green with envy because it was me, Bella Swan, who Edward Cullen decided to spend his Friday night under the lights with.

Me, not them.

Did I mention that while Alice and I were immersing ourselves in ESPN and my dad's old football videos, Edward had grown about ten feet tall in two weeks' time and had managed to turn the head of every female in a twenty mile radius in his direction? Somehow, his hair grew even more coppery and wild and he had started to smell really good. It made me want to run my fingers through his hair, even though Rose said my hand would probably get stuck because of all the product he put in there.

If his hair wasn't enticing enough, his voice had finally leveled off and it didn't sound so squeaky anymore. Instead, it was soft and smooth and made me think of this black velvet dress I used to love when I was little. It wrapped me in comfort the same way that Edward always did.

Things were…weird for Edward and me for a while after those kisses with Jacob last year in eighth grade. I couldn't get a definitive answer from him as to why he thought I shouldn't have kissed Jacob other than that he didn't like him. I think he just didn't know him really well, Jacob really was harmless, but it was one of those things that we just never talked about.

And it wasn't like Jacob Black came up in conversation often, either. Yeah, I had made out with him a few times for like, two weeks, last year but that was where it ended. Jacob and this girl Leah in his grade ended up getting together a few weeks after school had started up again after winter break, and considering that I was still completely in love with my oblivious best friend, Edward, I was totally okay with it.

"6:30!" I shouted back to Mom downstairs. The door to my bedroom was open so I knew she would hear me. Our house wasn't that big.

"6:30? That's only like, an hour from now. We have to hurry!" Alice shrieked and pulled me back onto my bedroom floor. I positioned myself just like we had discussed, my hair flowing out from around my head onto a towel on top of an ironing board laid flat on the floor. "Okay, lay completely still. Don't . Move."

I don't think I had ever heard Alice's voice so demanding.

"You promise you know what you're doing?" I tried not to let the doubt slip out of my mouth as I watched Alice ready herself above my head. She glanced at me briefly before fixing my hair again so it was away from my head on the floor.

"Uh, sure."

"Wait, you've never done this before?" The panic in my voice was evident this time and I tried to get up before she got to me.

She pushed me back down instead, shushing me.

"Technically, no. But Jessica was talking about how she did this to Lauren's hair last week. I mean, how hard is it to straighten someone's hair?"

"I would say pretty hard when you're using a clothing iron."

Alice rolled her eyes, "Stop. It's not hard. Just don't move for the next forty minutes."

"Forty minutes!?"

"Pain is beauty, my friend. Or something like that." She moved the iron above my face and I flinched at the heat radiating from it already. I cringed at my wavy curls being flattened by the same thing that ironed my Dad's underwear. "Just think of Edward's reaction when he sees your hair super straight like this. Oh, look. It's working!"

"It is?!" I attempted to shoot up towards the mirror.

"No, Bella! Come back. I promise if you move I'll burn you. Accidentally, of course."

"Of course."

After about ten minutes of subjecting myself to being Alice's guinea pig, I started to relax. I watched Alice's face for any signs of distress or confusion and her features remained neutral the entire time. Maybe this would work, after all.

"Okay. Done. With fifteen minutes to spare."

She gave me the permission to leave my spot on the floor and I was in front of my mirror in two steps. My mouth dropped open in surprise and I twirled my hair slowly across my shoulders. It was sleek straight, not an ounce of curl visible on my head. My scalp was possibly on fire but damn. It was amazing.

"Wow. Longest forty minutes ever but so worth it. It's so straight!" I exclaimed, running my fingers through the silky soft of my hair.

Alice curtseyed jokingly.

"I know! Wow, your hair is so long!"

We spent the next few minutes admiring our new creation, committing to trying this on Rose's hair the first chance we got. Her hair was even longer and thicker than mine so we would have to lock ourselves in our room for the whole day, which we were looking forward to. We hadn't had a girl's night in a while, anyway.

"Are we ready to go?" We looked around the room for anything we might be forgetting.

"Yeah, I think so. They should be here any minute."

Grabbing our jackets, we slipped them on and headed towards the stairs. We smelled of Tommy Hilfiger perfume and ironed hair but we were ready for our first Homecoming game. No one went to the dance, which bummed us out for a long time, but Emmett promised us that the dance was lame and that there was more fun to be had at other places.

"Do you girls want to bring a blanket with you?"

Alice and I had made our way into the living room and we were peering out of the blinds to see if we saw Edward and Jasper walking up the driveway. I turned to look at Mom.

"A blanket? No way." I replied incredulously.

"Are you sure you'll be warm enough?"

"We'll be fine, Mom. We have our jackets."

"Jasper and Edward are here." Alice intervened before Mom made us walk out of the house wearing our winter snowsuits. She dropped the blinds back to where they were and went to open the door for the boys to come in.

"Okay, I just have to finish a few things." Mom disappeared into the kitchen, making sure everything was turned off and safe for her to drop us off at the field. Dad was working, of course, as this was one of the busiest nights of the year for the teenagers of Forks. I had already been given lecture after lecture about the dangers of peer pressure and drinking and drugs and unprotected sex from both of my parents in the past six weeks of my being in high school.

The boys came into the living room after Alice, comfortable in their surroundings. They had been here plenty of times before. If we weren't at The Rec, we were here annoying my Mom even though she loved every second of it but pretended to hate it.

Our Tommy Hilfiger perfume was challenged by the boys' Polo cologne, and I swear I almost melted when Edward's smell drifted over me.

" 'Sup?" Jasper nodded his head towards us in greeting.

"We're ready. We just have to wait for my Mom." I pointed with my thumb towards my mom and whatever she was doing in the kitchen.

"It's cool."

The boys quizzed us on the rules of football while we waited and a few minutes later the sound of Mom's keys on her keychain alerted us of her presence.

"Okay, kids. Quick picture before we go! Aww, your first football game. Say 'Touchdown'!"

"Touchdown!" We all yelled and smiled with a good amount of eye roll. The flash blinded us and we all blinked and saw yellow spots for a few minutes afterwards as we piled into Mom's car for the game.

Mom didn't want to stay at the game without my dad there so she dropped us off in the back parking lot of the high school. There was a line of traffic with all of the other parent's dropping their kids off at the game. We didn't really know what to do once we got there so we just followed the crowd and ended up in the line to buy the tickets for the game.

Alice and Jasper were in front of Edward and me, and when I reached into my purse to pull out my money to buy the ticket, I felt a hand on my own, stopping me.

Edward shook his head. "I got you tonight."

"Edward, I got it. It's like, three dollars."

"Exactly. Three dollars." I still felt the sting of his fingers on my skin as I tucked my three dollars away.

"Well, I owe you one, then."

"Shut up, Bella." He smiled that special smile of his, the crinkles reaching the corner of his eyes, and he nudged my shoulder with his. As he asked the parent volunteer for our two tickets, a part of me squealed so loudly that I thought he might have heard it as he stood next to me. Once Edward's wallet was away and we each had our own ticket in our hand, we followed Jasper and Alice into the crowd to head onto the field.

We ran the track under our feet every day in gym class but it felt like a completely different world as it became filled with students, faculty, and townspeople here to watch the game. The green of the field seemed a little greener under those florescent lights and the reflection off of the bleachers almost blinded me in its magnificence. There were soft pretzels and yes, - hot chocolate! – all around us. After we raided the food stand of everything they owned, we squeezed our way through the crowd of the upperclassmen that were too cool to sit in the bleachers, and made our way to find seats for all four of us.

It took a few minutes, with the four of us standing in the front trying to eye a spot to fit all of us. Jasper eventually found one and after stepping on a couple of toes and some close calls with hot beverages, we sat in our seats with Alice and I in the middle. Edward sat alongside of me and Jasper sat next to Alice, and I tried really hard not to get my hopes up, but it was kind of looking like a double date. That thought warmed me up even more than my hot chocolate and I shivered in anticipation, catching Edward's eye.

Edward looked over at me.

"Are you cold?" He took that moment to eye my long straight hair for the first time that night even though the top of it was hidden under my gray woven hat. He looked back at me with a soft smile, knowing that I had caught him looking. "It's long."

I nodded, not knowing if it was Edward's way of complimenting me, but I smiled and took it as one, anyway.

"Look, there's Rose!" Alice pointed out towards the left side of bleachers where the cheerleaders were making their way onto the field. Eventually they stood in front of our bleachers and after getting their squads into formation, they performed a few cheers to get the crowd hyped for the game.

"Are they gonna run though one of those big banners when they go onto the field?" I asked, blowing on my hot chocolate before taking a sip.

"That would be awesome. I would pay to see at least one of them not burst through it and fall backwards." Jasper joked.

"Maybe they'll shoot confetti out of cannons or something!" Alice exclaimed.

"Cannons? This is a football game, not the Battle of Gettysburg." Jasper retorted and she playfully hit him on his knee and told him to hush.

"It's Friday night and we're at a football game. You're not allowed to talk about the Civil War, Jasper." Edward said, leaning over me to look towards Jasper. I got an extra close whiff of his cologne and if I wasn't in a public place I probably would have done something really embarrassing like sniff him or something.

Jasper ignored him and continued, "And, don't forget. It's Forks we're talking about here. The only reason we win any games at all is because every other school in our division is one step above the Pee Wee league across the street."

We all laughed until Edward spoke up. "We also have Emmett," and said and pointed towards the school where the team was most likely getting ready to make their way out.

"True story."

There weren't any banners or confetti or cannons to introduce the team onto the field, but the chorus sang a nice version of the Star Spangled Banner before kickoff and before we knew it we were all cheering for the win.

"So, I've decided." Edward said to me a few minutes after the game had officially started. I broke off a piece of his pretzel and popped it into my mouth.

"This can't be good."

He chuckled and pointed down towards the field, "We're going to be the commentators for this game."

At that moment the announcer's voice broke through the crisp night air, rattling off statistics that meant nothing to me and to most of the teenagers there. I pointed up to where he sat in his booth above us.

"There is no way in hell that you're getting me in that booth."

"No shit." He laughed, and shook his head and pointed back and forth between the two of us. " Right here. Just us two."

"Is this your way of quizzing me on my football skills?"

"Maybe."

"I would much rather play than talk about other people playing."

He looked at me surprisingly, with a daring look on his face like he didn't believe me. "You'd actually play?"

I nodded confidently. "Of course! Why wouldn't I?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"I distinctly remember you saying that you don't like to lose."

He was referring to the conversation we had the night of the cookie contest last Christmas, which reminded me of Jacob and how this was the closest Edward and I had gotten to talking about it. I wanted to tell him that it truly meant nothing; you know the whole kissing a bunch of frogs before meeting your Prince or something like that.

But I didn't feel this was the time or place. Maybe I would later once I knew for sure if this was a double date or not. I chanced a glance towards Alice and Jasper and found them to be doing almost exactly the same thing as Edward and I. They looked really into each other and I wondered if we looked like that, too.

I shook the thoughts out of my head and focused on Edward. What was he saying? Oh, yes. About me not losing.

"Oh, I don't. That's why I win. Always."

"Even when it comes to football?"

"Have you seen me on the soccer field?" I looked at him like he was born yesterday.

"Point taken." He held his hands up in surrender.

"I would need to practice first."

"No practicing."

"That's not fair!"

"How is that not fair?"

"Because you've played before and the first time I touched a football was last week when Emmett threw one at my head."

"Gotta catch those."

"How can I when it was behind my head?"

"A good defense always knows where the ball is."

"I bet neither of you could tell me what yard line the ball is on now," Rose's voice interrupted us all and we all welcomed her into our group, sliding her in between Alice and I to warm her up. She was able to join us between cheers.

She was right.

Apparently, there was a football game going on while Edward and I were talking. I completely forgot where I was and what was going on around me whenever Edward and I were together.

The game was over before we knew it and after we declared victory against the visiting team, the stands emptied and the crowd dispersed into different directions.

Emmett came out a little while later, his hair wet from the shower and his face happy from the win. He headed over to our little circle.

He threw his arm around Rose and leaned in to us. "You guys wanna go to a real party?"

- - - tr - - -

If my dad could see me right now, he would kill me.

Maybe not kill me. But I would definitely be grounded for the rest of my life.

I had no idea what time it was.

I was wearing Edward's jacket.

I was lying in the grass.

So was Alice. I think Jasper was with her, too. Emmett and Rose were inside The Rec trying to convince Carlisle to order Dominos.

Edward was next to me, my head rising and falling as it lay resting against his chest. My one arm hung loosely over his stomach near his waist. Somewhere in the haze I recognized his fingers playing with the ends of my hair.

That night was one of the many rites of passage upon being in high school, and I was so happy to be experiencing this with all of my friends. The boys were our own personal bodyguards that night. They didn't let us get too crazy and they never left our sides all night long.

There was a little alcohol, a little bit of what this guy called weed, and a lot of laughs. More laughs than I remember in my whole life which I guess is what brought us here to the grass behind The Rec in the freezing cold temperatures.

Some parts I would forget about as time faded but not all of it. I think I'd always remember looking up at the stars with Edward in the grass. Even if someday I decided to cut my hair all the way up to my chin, I'd still remember the way Edward let the long silky strands slip between his fingertips for what felt like hours.

It trumped Emmett taking us to our first high school party down at the lake. There were three different bonfires raging into the night air, adding electricity to the air that we all felt. Emmett had taken Rose to a few of these parties last year when she was a freshman but it was a completely different experience for her now that Alice and I were with her.

After Alice had leaned back in one of the beach chairs that someone had brought and had flipped over into the sand, the boys decided our night was over and called Carlisle to come pick us up and take us back to The Rec. Rose, Alice and I were too busy laughing our asses off to even realize we were leaving or where we were headed. We knew we were protected and headed somewhere where we all felt free and contained at the same time.

The Rec was always ambiguous that way.

"You smell like smoke," I whispered to Edward into the darkness. The only light around us all was from the moon above us and the dim light from the back porch of The Rec.

I felt Edward laugh beneath me, his shoulders shaking gently in the cold grass. "We were around three huge fires all night."

Feeling liberated, I took that sniff I wanted to do earlier and buried my nose into his chest. "I like it." I said when I came up for air.

He laughed again, this time louder than before and it felt like he inched his way closer to me. "You know what I like?" Edward asked once his laughter had subsided. His fingers still twirled around my hair and I closed my eyes to memorize the feeling forever.

"Hmm?" I was borderline incoherent and I knew that if I ever got to experience a kiss with Edward, I would surely never recover from it.

"S'mores."

Not what I was expecting him to say considering I wanted a declaration of his love for me.

"Do you have some?"

"Yeah, I always keep my spare right here in my pocket."

It was my turn to laugh and we turned our bodies in towards each other as we ignored everyone else around us with our snickers.

"Shut up. I hate you. Now I want some."

"See if Rose and Emmett can get some from Dominos."

"Since when do they have s'mores?"

"It would be awesome if they did."

I closed my eyes for a second, one part of me relishing in the intimacy of the moment and the other part of me really wondering if Dominos had s'mores or not.

A few minutes later with my eyes still closed, I broke the silence. "You know what I like?"

He didn't answer right away but I wasn't prepared for when he actually did. "Jacob Black?"

At that moment I knew.

I knew that we were about to cross that line that we had been hovering on since almost the minute I met him.

And for someone like Edward to take the first leap, the same boy who woke up every morning without a certainty that the people he allowed to get close enough to him would still be there the next day, I knew that this was going to be a big shift in our relationship.

I was so ready. I tried to play it cool even though I didn't think I was capable of pretty much anything given my current state from our night of high school tradition.

"Eww, no way."

"No way? Then why did you kiss him last year?" I could hear the apprehension in his voice, the part of him that wanted to know but was too scared to ask even though it had happened almost a year ago.

"The same reason why you fingered Tanya over the summer at the carnival."

I had been devastated when that rumor started to fly around but because I had spent two weeks kissing Jacob, who was I to judge? I could have called him out on it like he did to me but what was the point? I was a teenager and I was pretty sure that would be the first of about a billion mistakes I was guaranteed to make.

"What? Who told you that?" He moved his fingers from my hair and leaned up so his weight shifted onto his elbows.

"Tanya."

She told anyone who would listen. I learned more about Tanya Denali that day that I ever wanted to know, and later on that night Rose, Alice and I had a very long and open discussion about all sorts of things girls talk to their friends about.

"Oh."

He was silent for a few minutes.

We both were. We were in a place where we had never gone before.

"Well, is it true?" My arm was still around his waist and without answering he lowered himself back down into the grass and stared up at the sky before turning to answer me.

"Yeah, kind of."

"Kind of? How do you kind of finger someone?"

"Can you not shout that please?" He covered my mouth with his hand and I was tempted to lick him. Boundaries.

"I'm shouting? It feels like I'm whispering."

"You are most definitely not whispering."

I tried my whispering skills again. "How did you 'kind of'?"

I could tell he was trying to put it into the right words.

"Well, I did it but I didn't really want to. I wasn't that into it."

I let that sink in. I understood.

"Did you like it?" I don't know why I asked but I wanted to know.

"Did you like kissing Jacob?"

Why did he always answer my question with another question?

I paused to think about it. Did I like kissing Jacob? I liked it because it was my first kiss. For those five seconds, I entered a new world completely different than what I had ever thought possible. I was no longer the girl who played soccer or the girl who liked to go to the bakery in town with her mom on Sunday's. I had started to feel the beauty of self-confidence and was starting to look at myself in the mirror and see something I thought was pretty, and being pretty was important to a teenage girl.

But…

It wasn't Edward. It was messy and abrupt and his lips weren't as soft as I imagined Edward's to be.

So even though I liked it, I also didn't like it at the same time.

I decided to answer him honestly. "Kind of."

A mutual understanding filled the air around us. A mutual apology for something we didn't even know what to apologize for.

Edward's voice sounded tired but lighter than it had in a while. "I did it more for the experience rather than the person I was experiencing it with."

"Me, too. Maybe it's not so much about the experience."

"But more about the person."

And that night in the grass, coming down from the literal highs from homecoming and the party afterwards, I truly believed that Edward and I had found our person.

- - - tr - - -

Dear Diary,

Edward showed up today for finals. We only have one week left before summer starts and we are officially sophomores. I'm glad Edward showed up today considering he hasn't been in school for the last two weeks because of his switch to a new foster family. He hasn't been at The Rec in two weeks either and I am dying to see him. We all are. I stopped him after our last final of the day and he only shook his head at me. He handed me a piece of paper with his new screen name on it. I've already set the alert on AIM to let me know when he signs on but so far he hasn't.

I feel horrible, maybe as horrible as Edward looked today. I was hoping that things would finally start to look better for him but I'm guessing things aren't yet. Once he talks to me, we'll be able to fix this.

Everything can always be fixed.

- - - tr - - -

It won't be long for these two, I promise. See you next week.