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(...)
Part 2
Regina is pulled out of a restful sleep by a strange ache in her neck. Groaning, she tries to turn her face to the other side in order to lessen the pain, her eyes remaining closed in hopes that once she's more comfortable, she can continue sleeping.
However, when she tries to turn her head to the side, her cheek comes in contact with something very warm. The position makes her neck hurt even more, but the warmness make her purr.
For a moment she just lies there, in this uncomfortable position, and tries to fall asleep again, ignoring her cramping muscles and aching neck. She sighs a bit at the amazing feeling of the warmth against her cheek, snuggling closer to the source of that warmth, enjoying the welcoming weight on her belly. Even the slight scratching of hay against her whole body and horse breeding doesn't turn down her enjoyment.
Oh my gods!
All of a sudden realization hits her, her eyes shooting open as she jumps from the hay she's been sleeping on. Desperately looking around, Regina realizes that she's still in the stables, she didn't leave like she intended to.
She spent the whole damn night in here with Daniel!
She didn't mean to fall asleep here, no way, but she felt so relaxed and everything seemed so meaningless that she let her eyes close for a moment. She intended to stay a while, then kiss Daniel goodbye and leave.
But she felt asleep.
Stupid girl!
Turning to look to her side, she finds Daniel still sleeping beside her, snoring quietly. His arm has fallen away from her belly when she jumped but it looks like he's too deep in sleep to realize that Regina is wide awake and panicking.
With a rapidly beating heart, Regina forces herself to turn away from her lover and pulls a blanket, which Daniel brought for them yesterday, closer to her naked chest, looking around for her dress.
Damn it! What, if mother found out that she's been away from the castle the whole night?
She'll be screwed.
Finally Regina notices her dress thrown on the fence. She bottles up the need to take a moment and memorize Daniel's features, run her fingers all over him and wake him up with kisses, and gets up from the hay, rushes to take her dress and put it on as quietly as possible in order not to wake Daniel up for she's sure he wouldn't let her go, try to change her mind like he did yesterday.
But she will not change her mind. Not now.
Once dressed, Regina ignores her aching muscles (she feels sore in places she hasn't even thought could get sore), and turns around to leave.
But her heart makes her turn back towards Daniel.
She cannot leave like that.
Quickly she makes her way to where Daniel is still sleeping. Her cheeks turn all shades of pink as she catches a red stop of blood on the hay. There's no time to be embarrassed, she reminds herself as she pulls the blanket over Daniel's naked body, leans over and kisses his forehead and then lips.
A single tear runs down her cheeks as she turns around and rushes to the castle.
She has a wedding to attend.
(…)
Standing behind her chamber's door, Regina takes a steading breath. She runs her fingers through her hair trying to fix it as much as possible, takes out strays of hay and then with one last deep inhale she pushes the door open and enters the room.
To her surprise, there are too many people in her chambers. Some of them she knows (maids from their castle) but majority of them is strangers and she feels her heart starting to beat faster again.
When the door behind her close, they all turn to stare at her, most of their faces are disapproving.
"Regina!" Mother appears out of nowhere, her exclamation making Regina flinch. "Where have you been?"
"I've been on a walk," she lies, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep," she adds and looks down when Cora narrows her eyes, her face twisted with anger.
For a moment the chamber is surrounded by silence, Regina can hear her own rapidly beating heart while her mother looks her up and down.
Regina is surprised (and relieved) when Cora just rolls her eyes and waves her hand towards the maids, motioning for them to start their work.
The sigh Regina lets out when the maids surround her is full of relief. She doesn't like those people, doesn't like them touching her and curling her hair and doing her make-up, and dressing her, she hates all of it, but at least her mother didn't find out about her nightly adventures.
It takes a long while for the bride to be ready but, finally, six hours later Regina is being walked to the carriage in her white wedding gown looking like a real princess.
(…)
They've waited. They've waited until Regina turned eighteen and then waited a little bit more, until she finally felt that there was no reason to try to avoid this marriage. Sooner or later, she'll have to marry Robin anyway.
But now when the moment has come, Regina shifts her weight from one leg to the other nervously, looking down at her hands, wondering if she's made a good decision. Robin was willing to wait, perhaps she should've used it and delayed this wedding as long as possible…
No! She did the right choice.
Mother has become a real evil towards Regina. She started counting Regina's bites and scolded her for eating at all because she'll never fit her wedding dress if she eats like that, or if she hunches, Robin may change his mind and not want to marry her. As if her harsh words weren't enough, Cora cut off Regina's riding lessons because why would she need to ride a horse now when she'll obviously travelling by carriage.
And Regina couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't see Daniel anymore, she was controlled and scolded and humiliated in every step she took.
She doesn't know what is waiting her in Robin's castle but she hopes that she'll never feel there as bad as she did in her own home.
"You have to hold your head high, Regina, you're going to be the Queen, so act like one," Mother's harsh voice snaps her out of her thoughts and she immediately looks up, her eyes huge as she stares at her mother.
Her blood is boiling and she wants to scream right into Cora's face just how much she hates her, but Regina keeps her emotions to herself and forces a smile.
Just a few minutes and she'll be free.
Or she will be taken from one prison to another, who knows.
(…)
Everything around Regina is spinning. She's being walked to the altar by her father and if he wasn't holding her hand as tightly as he is, she would have fallen down on first steps.
Her legs feel like logs, she cannot bend them, she barely lifts them as she walks, her hands are shaking so bad, she's clattering her teeth but it's not from cold.
She's never been this nervous.
For a few moments it seems like she's not even there, like her soul felt her body.
She blinks her eyes when Daddy releases her hand and it's replaced by another, a stronger one. She looks up, startled, and finds Robin looking back at her, smiling encouragingly. He says something but she doesn't hear it, she just turns her head down.
It happens all too quickly. One moment someone is talking, the other Regina is turned towards Robin and she looks at him with teary eyes as he says the vows, and then she repeats, she doesn't even know how she manages to do it.
And then the gown is lifted from her face and Robin is whispering something to her again and then he's leaning over and pressing his lips against hers.
She's no longer Regina Mills.
Now she's The Queen of Sherwood.
Regina of Locksley.
(…)
Regina doesn't really know how she reaches the carriage, it all happens in a blur. However, here she is, sitting in the carriage, already married to a man sitting right beside her. She blinks her eyes for a few times, forces herself to come back to reality.
"Are you cold, Regina?" he asks when their eyes meet, his expression giving away that he's worried. Regina frowns in confusion. "You're shaking," he adds, motioning to her hands on her lap.
Only then does she realize that she's shaking indeed. Shaking a lot.
"I've just got married," she simply tells him, her voice so quiet, she wonders if he's even heard her.
But the sigh he lets out is enough of an answer.
Robin knew from the very beginning of their arrangement that this wedding wasn't something she wanted. But she knew that it was a better offer than marriage to the King, that's why she chose it and he's aware of her reasons to agree to marry him.
She thought it is better to be tied to a man who is not three times older than her.
Even though this marriage is a better choice, she still feels caged. And her now-husband must realize it too.
Robin says something from beside her but Regina chooses not to hear it. She's so lost in her thoughts, she just lets her eyes close as a few tears fall down her cheeks.
(…)
Their wedding is wonderful. The church has been beautifully decorated and so is the whole hall where the ball is taking place. The place is decorated with forest flowers and leaves, something that represent the family, the served food is so delicious. Everyone keeps laughing and engaging in conversations with one another, all the while praising the Locksley's family for making such an amazing wedding ball.
However, as happy as the quests are, the same couldn't be said about the bride. Regina hasn't tried any meal, nor did she enjoy the decorations. The entire ball she spent sitting beside Robin, looking down at her plate with her eyes full of tears. She smiled politely to people who come to congratulate them, though, but that was it.
Truth be told, she cannot find a reason why she feels so devastated. She agreed to this marriage herself, she dictated most of the rules of the arrangement, yet she finds herself crying at every chance she gets.
She supposes the reason of her crying could be that she's leaving behind her childhood. She's leaving home, even if she felt like a prisoner there, it's still home. She's leaving everything behind. She's leaving Daniel for who knows how long.
She cannot be the careless girl she used to be, now she's a wife and soon she'll have to be a mother. She's opening the new page of her life that scares her too much.
"You look awfully sad, dear girl."
Regina jumps from the royal chair as soon as the voice of the old woman reaches her ears. She doesn't bother to look up, she just bows politely to her mother-in law, whispers a greeting in a shaky voice.
"Your Majesty."
When she first met Robin and found out his family were demanding for him to make an heir, she imagined his family to be like her mother – snobby, feeless, ambitious. Yet when she met Robin's mother for the first time, she realized that the woman is actually completely different from what Regina imagined her to be.
Although she didn't get a chance to talk to the woman herself (her mother was talking all the time, about Regina and her beauty, and things that shouldn't be told to strangers), she understood that the woman had a good heart. She'd opposed to Regina's mother who wanted them to marry as soon as possible, told that Regina needed to be eighteen at least (it surprised Regina a lot). She must have also sensed Regina's uneasiness that time for she assured her that she'll find happiness here and that Robin is a really good man who will make her happy.
After meeting Robin's family, Regina realized that his family actually wanted him to have a child. They needed an heir, yes, but it wasn't just a tool to keep the throne. They were ready to love the child unconditionally.
"Darling, we're family now. There's no need for these formalities anymore," Robin mother's sweet voice snaps Regina out of her thoughts.
Nervously she looks up from the ground, a small, uncertain smile playing on her lips.
The older woman sits down and motions for Regina to do the same. She does, sits down in her previous place, her gaze falling down to her shaky hands again.
Why the hell is she so nervous?
"Robin is a really good man, Regina, and I'm not saying that just because he's my son," Mrs. Locksley's warn hand touches Regina's forearm in a comforting manner. "My son won't put you in harm's way, I can assure you. You won't be miserable in this marriage, I would never let that happen."
Regina inhales shakily, "Thank you, Mrs. Locksley."
The older woman just smiles encouragingly, but doesn't say anything. They sit in silence then, and surprisingly the silence is not an uncomfortable one. For the first time this night Regina sighs in actual relief, she feels better, safer even with this wonderful woman beside her.
She feels like, maybe, just maybe, someone understands her.
(…)
Mother told Regina way too many times what to do and expect on her wedding night. She's been told that the maids will help her change from the wedding gown to another one for her wedding night, she's been told that they will fix her hair and wipe away her make-up, prepare her for what's to come.
When Regina was invited by a very nice maid to follow her to their chambers for the night, she expected to be surrounded by people again and the thought made her tremble again.
So when she enters the chamber and finds it empty, the sigh she lets out is full of relief. The maid politely tells her that Mr. Locksley will soon come and join her, and then disappears from the huge and cold room.
Regina feels relieved for a moment but now that she's alone with her own thoughts, she finds herself trembling again. The chamber is dark and much bigger than her room. It makes her feellike she's suffocating again.
What, if Robin's changed his mind? What, if he comes into the chambers and says that their arrangement is annulled and that she's his wife who has no rights?
The thought makes Regina sit down on the edge of the huge bed for her legs start shaking too bad. Nervously she starts playing with her fingers and reminds herself that Robin's mother assured her that he's not going to hurt her, he said so himself too many times to count as well.
But his family is insisting for a grandchild as soon as possible. The sooner it happen the better.
There's a bile raising up her throat and her eyes fill with tears for the umpteenth time this day.
Before the tears start falling down her cheeks, she hears the crack of the door and quickly puts herself under control, wipes her cheeks just in case a tear managed to slip down.
Robin enters the room and closes the door behind himself quickly. He's illuminated by the candles lit up there; he's smiling brightly at her, holding a bottle of champagne in his hands.
Regina stands up, not even understanding why she did that, and stares at Robin with wide fearful eyes. It feels as if her heart is going to jump out of her chest.
His face drops as soon as he sees Regina, all nervous and shaking.
He quickly recovers, though. "You looked stunning today," he praises carefully, walking further into the chamber slowly as if to judge her reaction. His bright eyes are now filled with worry as he approaches her. "Regina, please, don't be afraid of me."
"I am not," she replies too quickly, it's too obvious she's lying.
Robin frowns.
"Really?" he asks with an arched eyebrow and takes a step closer to her as if to prove his point.
She steps back unconsiounously, her legs shaking badly. It's one thing to trust him when he has no right over her and completely another when she literally belongs to him according to this kingdom's law.
"We have a deal, you and I. I think we discussed things before. You have nothing to be afraid of, you made the rules yourself." He reminds her.
"You could change your mind."
"So could you."
They stare at each other, and it doesn't take long until Robin sighs defeated. He puts the bottle of champagne down on the table in the room and lifts his hands up in surrender. "I didn't change my mind," he amends in what she hopes is a sincere tone. "I promise not to put you in harm's way, but please, don't be afraid."
For a moment she just stares at him, still doubting his honesty. After all, she spent her whole life living with a manipulative mother so she's aware that he could be playing to get her to trust him. He could make her trust him, make her mind dizzy with alcohol and then do whatever wicked plan he has in mind.
But, on the other hand, if he really wanted that, he could take it even in this moment, and no one would say a word about it.
"Why don't we sit down?" Robin's voice snaps her out of her thoughts and Regina lifts her gaze from her hands to look at him. He's looking at her with a small yet encouraging smile and she realizes that her fears will not change anything.
What has to happen will happen. It doesn't matter if she wants it or not.
With a sigh, Regina gives in and nods her head.
She makes herself comfortable (as comfortable as she can be in a situation like this) on the bed while Robin opens a bottle of champagne and pours it into the glasses he took out of the closet just moments ago.
He takes his time, puts the bottle down on the table, looks at the glasses for a moment and only then does he turn around and give Regina one of the glasses.
She takes it and states, this time without hesitation or lie in her voice, "I trust you."
The smile that forms on Robin's face after her words surprises Regina. It makes her wonder if her being comfortable here actually means this much to him.
Still smiling at her warmly, he raises his glass up. "To us," he says, clicking his glass against hers.
Regina takes a moment to watch Robin as he drinks. He looks much more relaxed now that she's told him she somewhat trusts him.
Yes, she told him she trusts him and she thinks she actually does – after all, she agreed to marry him on such conditions – yet she still feels uneasy.
That's what this drink is for, she thinks as she takes a first sip and finds that the drink tastes very nice.
"What will happen with the ball now that we are here?" Regina asks in hopes that communication will keep her mind away from awful imagines that are playing in her head.
"Most of the guests have already left," Robin says, putting his glass down on the table. "However, the rest of the Kings who stayed are here to get drunk for free so that's exactly what they'll be doing now that we are not there anymore."
She rolls her. "They are disgusting."
"Indeed."
Regina finds herself looking at Robin, and he's doing the same. The silence surrounds them, and the only thing Regina can hear is her still rapidly beating heart that is trying to find its normal rhythm again.
Robin takes his glass, finishes his drink and stands up, pours himself another glass, then fills Regina's glass too. They drink and Robin starts the conversation, telling her about other weddings he attended and how hilarious they all were.
And as Regina listens to him, she feels herself relaxing more and more with each word.
Perhaps it's the alcohol that's putting her at ease. But it can also be Robin's voice, she's not sure.
However, all of a sudden Robin changes the topic completely, making Regina choke on her drink.
"We still have so many things to discuss about our own marriage," Robin says and Regina feels herself tensing up again as she puts the glass down on her table, struggling to breathe again.
She doesn't want to think about any of it anymore, not right now. She is so tired, if she could, she would be sleeping by now, not sitting here and nervously discussing things that are far too important to be discussed after such a long day.
"Yes," she agrees nonetheless, despite her displeasure to talking about this thing. "For example, when do you want to start making a baby?" She asks, trying to act as brave as she can. It seems clever to start with the question that has tortured her most.
"It's not only me, Regina, but us." He tells her, shaking his head at her choice of words. "This is our arrangement, and we both get to decide what we do and when."
She sees her opportunity so she quickly says, "I want to wait."
"I figured that out already," he tells her as if it was obvious. "We need to be comfortable with one another and not afraid of each other. Otherwise, it's not going to work."
Regina doubts that she will ever be comfortable around him but doesn't say it out loud.
"You'll tell me when you're ready." He continues to speak, "And then we'll discuss everything else. Alright?But, please, remember that you don't have to feel any pressure because of that," he tells her, and his hand lands on hers.
Regina is surprised that his touch isn't as unwelcome as she thought it would be.
"You tell me that we can wait as long as I want and I'm very thankful for that," she admits sincerely. "But if I wait, it means that I'll not be able to see Daniel."
"That means he'll not live with us in the palace. But you can see him," Robin assures her. "I'm not going to keep the man you love away from you just because you don't want to sleep with me."
She looks at him with wide eyes. She wasn't expecting that. It was already hard to believe that Robin agreed to let Daniel live with them after she becomes pregnant. She wouldn't have imagined in her wildest dreams that he would let them see one another until she's with a child.
"There's nothing wrong with waiting," he repeats his words. "If I could, I would let him live with us just now but you know I can't risk it. We have a deal. And until one part of the deal is fulfilled, all I can offer you is seeing him from time to time."
Regina doesn't know what to think. She doesn't like this man but he shows her kindness that no one else has ever shown in her entire life.
She would be lying if she's said she wasn't touched by it.
"Th-thank you." She manages, tears shining in her eyes.
He just smiles at her and raises his glass up at her in silent toast before emptying it.
"Why are you so good to me?" she cannot help but ask, her voice trembling with emotion.
Robin doesn't reply for a moment. His eyes turn awfully sad as he stares to the glass in his hands. Regina shifts on the bed, uncomfortable that she's touched what seems like such a delicate topic.
Robin inhales shakily and finally says, "I can't be with the woman I love and I don't want the same happen to you. I want you to have happiness in your life." His voice is so truthful; she feels her heart starting to beat faster again.
Maybe this marriage is not a bad thing, after all.
"Thank you," she says again, not knowing what else to say.
"I will say this again and again – I want you to be happy. I want you to trust me, to not to be afraid of me. In every case. I don't set the rules here, neither do you. We will both decide what we will do with this marriage, together. Alright?"
"Alright."
"We will make this work, Regina," Robin assures her one more time.
And as stupid as it sounds, she believes him.
(...)
What do you think? Please, let me know!
By the way, I've been writting another AU for a while and if someone would be interested in helping me to decide some things, your help would be really appreciated!