"Is this what I think it is?"

It took me a beat or two to be able to answer him. For starters, the fact that Edward and I were about to dive into a discussion about my failed engagement with Tyler was overwhelming in itself. Secondly, Edward was kneeling in front of me, albeit to tie his shoes originally, but nonetheless, he was kneeling in front of me with a diamond ring in his hand.

That image alone really made the shaky ground I was standing on regarding Tyler become obliterated from reality.

Swallowing, and wishing there was something around to swallow me, I reached out with two fingers to take the ring from his pinched fingers. "An engagement ring? Yes."

I put the ring back onto the nightstand next to my bed, and the ping from the diamond ring against the wood pierced the silence in the room like chimes in a summer breeze.

"Yours?"

It was definitely a Here's Your Sign moment, as the ring was most obviously mine, but what was happening between Edward and I was not filled with humor. I felt a lot of different emotions all at once. This was an iceberg of a discussion; too much lay hidden beneath the surface that could cause significant damage to everyone involved.

I was barely ready to admit my feelings for Edward to myself, and this conversation teetered too closely towards baring it all to him.

How could I possibly tell him that I had ended my relationship because the thought of someone other than Edward at the end of the aisle made me physically sick? That I had been haunted by his ghost for so long that I unknowingly, subconsciously, had put him right in the middle of a place where he didn't belong?

I struggled to find an answer that was vague enough to protect myself but enough to satisfy Edward's curiosity.

"Yes. Well, was?" I answered, questioning whether or not the ring truly was mine anymore. I was confusing myself, and from the look on Edward's face, I wasn't the only one confused.

"Congratulations?" He furrowed his brows, tilting his head and looking at me in a way that definitely showed that he needed clarification.

"Not exactly." I sighed, sliding over to make room for him to sit next to me on the bed. Never in my life could Edward and I be trusted in a bed, and I would be a liar if the thought didn't briefly pop into my mind as the heat of his body slid against mine.

I was sweating just because the man had sat next to me on my bed.

"I'm sorry. It's really none of my business," Edward said before I could explain myself. I shook my head at him and gently placed a hand on his arm.

"No, no, it's fine." Moving my hand back to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, I turned to look at him. His apology was sincere and evident in the softness of his face, his eyes bouncing back between my own. He had no need to apologize. I felt like this was a natural conversation between friends with a shared history. I gave him a small smile, "I've just been really good at avoiding it like the plague, that's all."

He laughed, the noise echoing in my ears like the sound of my heart against my rib cage at his close proximity. "The plague? Is that how people describe their engagements these days?"

I shook my head at my previous words, rolling my eyes in an attempt to acknowledge my exaggeration. Looking back at him and cringing, "It really does sound horrible when you say it like that."

As hard as it was to remove the smile that seemed to gravitate to my face whenever I was in Edward's presence, I tore my gaze away from him and focused on the ring on my nightstand.

Suddenly I was thousands of miles away in New York, thinking of times where I was able to push Edward's ghost away and focus on the real thing I had in front of me. I sighed and trailed my eyes to a spot on the floor. "He was a great guy. Is a great guy, I should say." I turned and looked at Edward again and took a deep breath. "I should have said yes."

Nodding in understanding, he laced his fingers together and bent his elbows so they were resting on his knees. He turned his head a fraction so he could see me from his tilted head on his hands. "But you didn't?"

I heard it in his voice. Maybe it was me overreacting or me over analyzing again, especially because I had a tendency to do both of those things whenever Edward was involved. But I knew what a loaded question disguised as a casual question looked like. Sounded like. I was fighting my own personal battle of questioning myself, hoping that my voice sounded curious but not invested. Hoping I came across as curious but not desperate for feelings that may be unwelcomed.

But I heard it. I knew that those three simple words were anything but simple. They were heavy. They were heavy with implication. Hopeful?

God, the last thing I wanted to do with Edward was become hopeful. I had been chasing and fighting and ignoring and falling for these feelings for Edward since I was ten years old. Some years they had been reciprocated and God, those years I still couldn't adequately put into words, and here I was, years later, with Edward on my bed in my childhood bedroom, dancing around the fact that I didn't choose the man I thought should marry. Dancing around the fact that even just sitting here next to him ignited a fire in my body and heart that never went away, never went completely dormant in our years apart.

Keeping these feelings bubbling beneath the surface threatened exposure but I tried to answer him honestly and transparently. "I did, actually. And then I spent the next week trying to convince myself that I had made the right decision."

"What do you think now?"

We had shifted closer together now, his voice significantly lower than it had been when this discussion began.

"Hey, Bells!" Dad. "You need any help up there?"

Thank God. Startled, we both had jumped off of the bed quickly and looked towards the stairs where my Dad's voice had traveled from. I placed my hands on my waist and looked back at Edward who was staring at me softly, a grateful smile playing at his lips.

"Later?"

He nodded in agreement. "Of course."

"Yeah, Dad!" I shouted, wrapping my hand around the door jam and peering down the hall. "Edward doesn't think I can move this dresser."

He shook his head with three distinct shakes, a steady finger pointed in my direction. "I never said you couldn't do it. I was just questioning the validity of your whole 'pivot' theory."

My dad's footsteps announced his arrival prior to him stepping foot into my room, but when he did he was ready for a sarcastic quip.

"The first drop of a Friends reference is the first sign that someone needs to be removed from the project," he said, shoving me aside with a wave of his hand. He eyed the piece of furniture with his hands on his hips before addressing Edward, "Where's this going?"

"Truck in the driveway."

While Edward and my dad lugged the almost dilapidated dresser to his truck, I gathered what I could around the house that I thought Edward and I could benefit from later on at The Rec. I had no intention on cutting our time together short, and I had the feeling that he was under no such intention, either, especially when I joined them at the truck and he flashed me a look that made my breath catch in my throat.

"I think this is as good as it's gonna get," Dad's voice chirped from the back of the truck, interrupting Edward and I from a place neither of us were equipped to travel just yet.

"Thanks, Chief Swan. I owe you," Edward snapped back to the present, putting his hand out for my dad to shake. Dad shook Edward's hand firm and neatly, breaking eye contact with Edward to meet my own stare.

"Just bring her back to me," Dad said, nodding in my direction.

Edward's voice, strong as ever, replied, "Always."

-tr-

"You warm?" Edward asked me a little while later as we bumped and jostled our way over to The Rec, the boxes we packed clinking with every rotation of the tires beneath us.

"Yeah, the heat feels great," I replied, moving my hands back and forth in front of the vent.

"I'm surprised it even works in this hunk of junk," he joked in return, both of us laughing at the state of truck we were currently riding in.

"Whose truck is this again?"

I watched the steering wheel spin beneath his loose grip as he turned down another road. He responded, "This guy, Benjamin, from work." His hand left the wheel to rest against the armrest between us. "His dad runs his own construction company and he let me borrow one of their older trucks for a while."

"Sounds like a nice guy," I commented and snuggled deeper within the warmth of my hoodie.

"Yes, absolutely." Edward agreed, his eyes briefly leaving the road to catch my eye. "Speaking of nice guys, I'm sorry for prying earlier. You really don't have to tell me anything at all and I kept asking you shit. Sorry."

I gave him a smile and shook my head at his words. "You don't have to apologize for anything at all. Really." Scoffing, I turned my body so it was leaning against the door and looked at him. "I'm actually surprised that it took this long for it to come up."

Our friends aren't exactly known for being discreet.

After a brief silence, I nodded towards him. "You asked me if I made the right decision."

He nodded. "I did, but now that I think about it, I don't even know what decision you made in the first place."

"I guess you're right," I conceded, reaching over to turn down the music that had been background noise. "Tyler asked me to marry him and originally, I said yes. I had no good reason not to, really. We had been together for a couple of years. Made a good life together."

"What changed your mind?" He made another turn down a lonely winter road.

I shrugged. "Nothing specific. That's the worst part. One day Tyler and I were happy and the next day, the thought of spending the rest of my life with him completely terrified me."

"And you say he's a good guy, this Tyler?"

"One of the best." My voice came out weak and full of guilt. "I'm a horrible person, I know."

"Horrible? You're not horrible at all," he disagreed, and strongly, apparently.

"I didn't have a good enough reason to end things with Tyler the way that I did."

"Everyone has reasons," Edward offered, "for one thing or another. The misconception about these so called 'reasons' is that people think that they need to justify their 'reasons' to others. Bottom line is that you weren't happy. Or ready. You don't need to justify that to anyone but yourself."

"You're not the first person to tell me that," I remarked, running through a mental list of names that had granted me similar advice over the past few weeks.

"Maybe you should start accepting it, then." He answered in a mock stern voice, making us both step back from the heaviness of our conversation and laugh quietly in the truck. "Answer me this, and I promise I'll drop it, considering I'm the last person that should be offering you any type of relationship advice."

The boy who broke my heart years ago had a point. "Shoot."

Edward turned the truck onto the final road, The Rec looming in front of us in the distance. "You made your decision. You are the one to have to live with that reason. No one else. Are you happy with your decision?"

"Happy isn't the right word here. Can we go back to calling it the right decision instead?"

"Still so damn difficult," he laughed, parking the car in front of the cabin of our past. "Okay, let me rephrase. Do you think you made the right decision?"

"I do."

"So why do you still have the ring?"

"I tried to give it back. He wanted me to keep it while I thought things over. He pretty much wouldn't let me leave for Mexico without me taking it with me."

"Do you think you'll change your mind? Your decision?"

I don't know if it was The Rec in front of us or the way his eyes bore into mine, searching for whatever answer he needed.

"I don't think I could change my mind if I tried."

-tr-

We spent the next several hours unloading the truck, emptying out the boxes into Felix's old office. Edward had no plans on repurposing Felix's old office into his own, so for the time being it sufficed as storage closet. We organized it as best as we could considering we didn't have proper storage bins and by the time we were done we were both energized by our productivity and happy with the things we were able to add for future use.

It was still cold as hell, as the heating and air technicians were scheduled to come out later in the week, but we were comfortable in our hoodies and sweats as we worked at transforming The Rec back into its full potential.

With plenty of daylight left in front of us, I was standing in the phantom library corner that had once been lined with borrowed books when I heard Edward place two aluminum cans on the sanded wood floor behind me. Eyeing the paint, I rolled my sleeves up to my elbows and tightened the pony tail on the top of my head.

"What room first?"

With the windows open to the winter air, we decided on painting the bathroom first. It was by far the smallest room, perfect for the time of day and for the impending evening darkness. We got to work on taping before we Rock, Papered, Scissored which one of us was left to do the cutting in. He had decided on a soft gray, a perfect color to capture the calming wilderness around us.

"When did this happen?" I asked, referring to the sink and vanity and toilet that had appeared literally overnight.

"They were delivered this morning before I headed over to your house."

Thinking of how late we were talking the previous night, I wondered how much caffeine this man was running on. Rustic brown fixtures and vanities stood proudly in their places, and as time ticked by with each stroke of the brush or the stream of the roller against the former barren walls, we found ourselves bouncing questions back and forth to each other like old times, and I felt ourselves rebuilding that bridge that I had for sure thought was irrevocably burned beyond repair.

I learned that Edward had gone to college a year after I had left, deciding to take the year off to earn and save some money. He had found a construction company that was willing to take in a homeless boy without any experience and paid him almost nothing for it. What Edward lacked in pay he earned in skill, as was evident in the improvements that Edward had done here at The Rec. Carlisle and Esme had let Edward sleep on the pullout couch in their tiny one bedroom apartment until he was ready to move on, a truth to his history that he didn't go a day without showing his gratitude.

He had told Carlisle of his plan to one day make The Rec a reality again.

"That's probably why they put up with me for so long," Edward theorized, taking a break from rolling the paint onto the walls and rubbing his forehead with his forearm.

I couldn't help but stare, his bare arms just visible enough for my brain to connect the sight of his forearms to the memory of them beneath my touch. Between the visuals of Present Edward and Ghost Edward and the fumes of the paint in the tiny bathroom despite the open windows, my senses were in overload.

And I welcomed every minute of it.

"So you help place kids into temporary homes?"

Our conversation had drifted into work, my lack thereof and Edward's current. He nodded and rolled the roller into the pan of more paint.

"Swore to myself I would step away from everything involving placement and foster care the minute I turned eighteen," Edward answered, the roll of the paint slowing over the wall as he slowed his pace. "But I couldn't shake the feeling of how much the system had let me down."

He stopped rolling completely and turned to look at me.

"Do you know how hard it is to place a teen into care? Troubled teen or not. I was one of the lucky ones able to find support through friends and teachers. Helped alleviate the trauma that comes with kids in foster care. I was lucky that I did have a couple of decent placements, even though nothing was permanent enough for me to even call a home."

He sighed and picked up the roller again and continued his strokes on the wall. "The Rec was my home. The Rec closing gave me something to fight for." Edward paused and looked over at me with a shrug, as if it were the most natural decision he had ever made. "If I could give even just one kid a place to call home, why shouldn't I? "

I stopped cutting in the edges and paused to admire him. Not just the outside appearance that he left visible for the world to see. I looked inside the Edward in front of me and admired the man on the inside. "It's an amazing thing you're doing here, Edward. It really is."

Jokingly, he took his finger and slid it down my cheek, leaving a line of gray paint in its wake. Teasing, he laughed and added at my shock, "I'm not doing it myself anymore, am I now?"

Laughing and doing the same to him on that exposed sexy slice of forearm, I challenged, "Do you want me to go? I have absolutely no problem leaving this icebox."

Joking aside, laughter leaving the bathroom, his smile still remained on his face, true as the sun is hot. He shook his head fiercely. "No, never. I don't want you to go."

I tried to downplay the swell in my belly at his words and reached back to start painting the edges again. "Well, looks like you're going to get your wish. At least temporarily."

"No set plans to head back to New York?"

I ignored his exposed back as he stopped rolling to take off his hoodie, his tee shirt riding up as his sweatshirt was deposited onto the bathroom floor. "I know I should. I have to, actually. I am literally wearing and washing the same five outfits."

I motioned towards the yoga pants and shirt I had thrown on before heading over.

He let his eyes scan my body, and I saw and I felt his struggle.

Same, boy. Same.

"I don't see anything wrong with what you've got on." I watched him swallow and return to his wall with a vengeance.

I rolled my eyes at him. "That's because you're a guy. You can wear the same underwear for three days before it dawns on you to change them."

He looked at me in mock disgust before begrudgingly thinking it over with a tilt of his head before reluctantly agreeing with my statement. I chuckled.

"I can't avoid it forever." I reiterated, tossing my brush into the pan. I had finished my corners and edges and watched and waited for him to finish up the last of the walls.

"Have you talked to him?"

I nodded slowly. "Every now and then he'll reach out to me. That's who he is, though. I told him I needed my space and he's respecting that."

Letting out a slow breath, he shook his head and finished the wall with a drop of his roller and a clap of his hands. "I give him credit."

"Really? Why?" I questioned incredulously. Tyler and Edward on the same team wasn't something my brain could even muster an image of.

"You're not exactly a woman to get over easily," Edward replied, his voice taking on a more confident and omnipotent tone.

He spoke from experience, and it was the first time that we had come out and acknowledged that our break up was not an easy one.

A loud boom coming from the front door interrupted our impending conversation.

"Ahh, food's here."

He disappeared towards the door, reaching for his wallet in the back pocket of his pants as he left me in the bathroom, reeling from his admission and all of the events of the day. Whiplash with Edward was a real thing.

We had stopped at some point to order dinner for ourselves, and had decided on splitting one of those calzones that could feed a family of ten. We sat on the floor where we had sat with everyone else the night before, never thinking that twenty four hours later would look as similar as it did yet feel so very different. The air was cold like last night but the flickering of sparks between us made me feel flush all over my body, parts visible and not so visible.

"What's left to do on your end for the wedding?" Edward asked between bites of calzone and dipping it in the marinara sauce that sat between us in the pizza box the calzone had arrived in.

Yes, it was that big that it earned itself a grand entrance.

Swallowing a sip of Sprite, I replied, "Final fittings and a nail appointment."

"What about hair and makeup?"

I looked at him strangely, not accustomed to a guy knowing much about what women in bridal parties go through to make the day perfect for the bride and groom. He chuckled. "I overheard Alice telling Jasper how important those are in wedding pictures or something, I don't know."

"For hair, I found something online - "

"Pinterest again?"

"Shut up," I gasped, tossing my napkin his way so it landed on his chest. He tossed it right back at me and it landed on my face before fluttering to the floor where the damn thing belonged. "Anyway, hair is set. Makeup is done the morning of the wedding."

Edward finished up his final bite and I gave him the go ahead to close the box in completion of our meal. With a teasing smile, he casually threw in, "I just have to pick up my tux and take a shower before the wedding."

I covered my hand over my mouth, sarcasm dripping from my words. "Wow, however will you find the time?"

"I may squeeze in a haircut too if I can manage," He laughed and crossed his fingers.

It was crazy how long we all waited for the wedding and how fast it was approaching. I inhaled through my nose. "I still can't believe they're finally getting married."

"They met right over there, you know," Edward responded, pointing over to the empty space where Alice and Jasper had first officially met.

"Pretty soon you'll be renting this space out for weddings," I kidded, tossing our garbage into a garbage bag that we had brought from my parent's house.

Edward shook his head profusely and literally put his foot down. "Look, opening it up to Forks' youth is one thing, but opening it up for bridezillas and drunken Uncles is something else entirely!"

"Speaking of being drunk, what are your plans with curbing underage drinking? We got away with a lot of shit here that wouldn't fly today," I said and we both laughed, both of us thinking of times spent here in different states of sloppy.

"I know. It's definitely one of my worries," Edward agreed. He exhaled and placed his hands together in prayer. "First, I gotta get this place up and running."

"Baby steps," I reminded him, pointing towards the bathroom that was nearly complete. It was just missing the tiny little aspects that turn a house into a home. It was only natural that I spend my time remaining in Forks adding in those little details.

-tr-

We ended up leaving not too long after we had cleaned up from dinner, the late night we had last night combined with Edward's early wake up call with the bathroom deliveries and us moving and painting all day had solidly kicked our asses.

We declared the next day a day of rest and relaxation that was well deserved. Knowing Edward like I did, I knew that at some point he would venture over there tomorrow despite my telling him not to. As much as my body would pay the price for the work I did today, I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant I got to spend the day with Edward again.

The more time I spent with him, catching the sneaking glances he tried so desperately to hide from me, the way his features softened as he listened to whatever nonsense I was telling him, the way he tried to quell the smile from reaching the corner of his eyes, they were all familiar to me because I was doing the same thing.

I glanced at him every chance I could, as if I had to make up for the years I wasn't able to see him, memorizing everything about him in case I overstepped and lost him all over again. I craved the sound of his voice, and he could paint a target on my back for all I cared if it meant having the chance to have his fingers on my skin again. The fact that I was the reason behind his laughter, his smiles, made my heart sing in ways that I never realized it hadn't sung since we said goodbye when we were eighteen and stupid.

He made sure to lock the door, spending a couple of extra minutes as he tried to remember how to work the alarm he had installed. I tried not to laugh as the expletives pooled from his mouth, and finally I couldn't contain it anymore and let him know just how hilarious he looked in the freezing cold pressing buttons that did nothing to stop the sounding alarm.

Eventually, we piled into his freezing cold truck and he drove us back to my house in the dark. When we pulled up into the driveway, he turned the lights off but left the car running to capture the heat against the February chill.

"Here," he said, reaching into his pocket to hand me a key. He considered it for a moment before laughing at himself in his self-deprecating way. "Chances are the police will come at the sound of the alarm if you can't figure out how to get in without me." He placed it into my open hand, his cold fingers warming me to the core in just a touch.

"You want me to have a key to The Rec?"

He nodded and closed my fingers over the key, momentarily stunning me with the sparks between us. "I couldn't imagine giving it to anyone else." He removed his hand from mine and I felt the absence immediately. "Besides, you'll be able to get some stuff done over there while the rest of us work during the week."

"Oh, so that's what this is? You're putting me to work?"

"I'll pay you in pizza?" He offered but took it back at my look.

"Pizza?"

"Okay, no. Chocolate?"

"Please. You can't buy me over with chocolate," I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest before looking at him out of the corner of my eye. "What kind of chocolate?"

"Any kind you want, Bella."

I knew what I wanted.

But it had nothing to do with chocolate.

-tr-

Thanks for all the love and recs, all of you! See you soon.