Dying is a Delicate Moment
A fanfic by Agara
"Kill me. Kill me if you ever loved me."
And he kills her.
Thoughts are written in Italics
Big line : New POV
OoOoOo : Same POV / Time lapse
CHAPTER TWELVE : WORLD GONE MAD
Song : World Gone Mad by Bastille
16.01.1943 :
"... Fear will not tear us apart. Violence will not divide us. We stand united as wizards and as humans." Dippet deep voice echoed in the Great Hall.
Hermione looked up at the window behind the Headmaster. Thousands of white flakes were carefully falling from the silver sky.
You're so screwed Hermione.
Step 6 : failed.
Her eyes fell back on the table. The lads were all focused on the words coming out of the old wizard's mouth. She had never seen them so invested in what he had to say. Tom was scanning the room, the students, the teaching staff. His face was unreadable.
The painting was not in there.
And you know what it means Hermione.
Hermione tried to focus back on the eulogy and kept her eyes on the large professor's table. She heard quiet sobs coming from the Gryffindor table but forced herself not to look.
If it is not in Slughorn's Private Apartments.
It means it is… there.
She looked at Tom.
She closed her eyes and let her head fall back. The thump in her temples came back. The deafening sound of blood in her brain. It had started a week ago, right after the attack. Hermione blamed it on the lack of sleep.
Every night she laid awake in her bed, staring at the deep green canopy. When she closed her eyes, trying to fall into Morphea's arm, she heard Tobias' screams. So each night, she kept them open.
What else could she do but think ?
She thought about how, when she was in Slughorn's private office, none of the walls hung what she had been looking for.
She thought about how she had spent months talking to each painting of the old castle, trying to figure out where it could be.
She thought about how one of them, on the night of the Christmas dinner, had told her that house's related paintings were usually in the head of house chambers.
Dumbledore's voice got her out of her train of thought. The transfiguration teacher was standing straight in his dark grey robes. He put both his hands in front of him, fingers interlaced.
"Today, we acknowledge the losses of Edison Morsten and Benedict Jenkins. As you all know, they were the perfect embodiment of their house's values. Bravery, determination, courage…"
Hermione exhaled quietly, relieved that the pain in her head lessened a bit. She couldn't help but think about the eulogy Dumbledore had given in her fourth year. Unlike what she had felt at that time, tonight while looking at Dumbledore, she was resentful.
She had arrived in this timeline nine months ago. As every day went by, she became more aware of who Dumbledore truly was : manipulative, calculating and cunning.
She had read Skeeter's book and as she knew the character, she didn't believe every written word. However, she started doubting. She doubted her own judgment in her own timeline. Harry trusted him and she trusted Harry. Yet, Harry had told her he had fooled him. And she trusted Harry.
Hermione was startled by the comeback of her headache. Professor Wink, the Charms professor, had started talking about the fifth-year Ravenclaw, Gemenia Bishard, who died in St Mungo's from the extent of her wounds.
16.01.1943 :
It was hurting, a searing pain around his right eye. It had been a week and the pain was still there. Tom tried not to be bothered by the physical aspect of it but just looking in the mirror reminded him that he was not invincible.
He could have died and that thought scared him. If he was not sure about doing it before, he was sure now.
"Are you okay Tom ?" Milton asked him.
Tom realised that his right cheek was slightly twitching.
"Fine Milton." He answered annoyed.
They were all sitting in the common room, in the leather sofas in front of the fireplace. The place was mostly dark due to the heavy clouds outside, but the candles scattered around the room and the chimney brought enough light for Tom to keep reading his book, Legendary Creatures.
"You know you can go see the matron if it's still hurting. I went to see her yesterday and she was really helpful." The small boy continued not noticing that Tom didn't want to talk further.
"You went to the infirmary ?" Dolohov snickered. "Why ?"
"Come on Antonin." Abraxas began laughing. "Our little Milton was badly hurt." The blond mocked.
"My bad. He is a real war hero. Tell me Mitlon" Antonin put his elbows on his knees and got closer to Muliber, sitting on the floor. "Were you hurt before or after someone thought you were a third year in need of help ?"
"Shut it." Milton tensed.
"Come on lads. Leave him alone." Thorus intervened. He was lying on one of a couch, throwing a ball in the air and catching it repeatedly.
"He is just jealous." Belone added while passing behind the couches where the lads were gathered. "Tom actually helped while Milton was getting helped."
"Bold of you to say that McNair knowing that you ran back to the castle just after the explosion." Milton snapped.
"Are you serious ?" Grace cut.
Tom turned his head, he had almost forgotten that she was sitting with them, reading a book.
"Are you really arguing about who did what ?" She kept going. "Should I remind you that none of you knew what to do ? If you want to take the piss out of Milton, maybe I should take the piss out of all of you."
Everyone stared at her and shut their mouths. Grace turned her head and met Tom's gaze. "And he's right. You should go to the infirmary Riddle."
Tom shut his book loudly, put it down on top of another one and got up. "I am fed up with you." He said, looking at everyone. "If you do not want to shut up then I will take my reading somewhere else."
He grabbed both books from the coffee table and left.
Morons.
Tom walked towards the common room door when Cole said his name. He turned around and saw the sixth-year prefect sitting on a couch next to the two Parkinson brothers.
"Riddle !" He got up. "Do you want to do it now ?"
What he is talking about ?
Tom stopped and cocked an eyebrow. Woodcroft looked at his book and added "You're on your way to the library ? Perfect, we can talk while walking."
The blond Slytherin approached him and they both left the common room.
"Sorry about that. I just needed an escape from those two."
"What are you talking about Woodcroft ?" Tom asked not really interested in what the other had to say.
"Pollux and Cassandre. Two insufferable little shits. I can't with them anymore."
"Still arguing about Black ?"
"Walburga, their parents, everything you could argue on. Everything you couldn't argue on too when I think about it."
I think I should have a conversation with him.
It could be interesting to have a-
A small kid, running in the corridors, bumped into him. Tom stumbled back and dropped his books on the floor.
"Oy !" Cole rose his voice toward the second-year Hufflepuff. "Watch where you going ! Detention you bludger."
The boy didn't say a word and lowered his head. Cole crouched down and picked up the two books on the floor.
"Abusing your power Woodcroft ?" Tom smirked.
Cole chuckled and took a good look at the books he was holding.
"Legendary Creatures and Architectural Timeline of the Oldest Castles in Great Britain ?" Cole slightly laughed while handing them back to Tom. "You're such a nerd Riddle."
They arrived in front of the library's door.
"I guess you owe me something Woodcroft." Tom smirked.
Cole chuckled. "What do you want ? Quidditch World Cup tickets ?"
Tom liked Cole. On top of being the heir to one of the important families in England, he was genuinely likable. However, everything was easy for him. Just hearing him offering priceless tickets to Tom just because the latter had helped -without even knowing- was infuriating.
"Two tickets. For the final." Tom answered.
"What are you going to trade them for ?" Cole rose an eyebrow well knowing Tom's intentions.
And that was why Tom liked Cole. "See you later Cole."
Tom pushed the door open and entered the quiet room. He sat at his usual table and opened the books in front of him.
He looked around him and spotted a book at the end of his table. He rose up and approached. The volume was opened and a large ink stain hid the content.
Tom didn't like when things were not in order and he didn't like when people didn't take good care of things. He moved his wand above the book and made the ink disappear.
He looked at the title of the chapter.
Might be interesting.
OoOoOo
27.01.1943 :
Abraxas Malfoy threw the Daily Prophet on the wooden table. "That is bullshit."
The front page of the newspaper showed Wilhemina Tuft in a press conference at the Ministry of Magic with the frontline "A half-blood for the win ? The end of pureblood dictatorship."
"She earned five points in the latest polls." Thorus explained. "And your father, Malfoy, lost seven."
"Did I ask for your opinion Nott ?"
Thorus rose his hands in a sign of peace and took the newspaper in his hands.
"The election is on the 14th of April. We still have the t-" Milton started.
"The time ?" Dolohov cut him. "Politics don't work like that Milton. Haven't your parents taught you anything ? Were they to busy teaching your brother about how this works ?"
Milton opened his mouth to defend himself when Edgard stopped him. "We're not here for that."
After the release of the article this morning, a meeting became necessary. Tom gathered the lads on this stormy evening in the same room on the fifth floor. He hadn't spoken a word since it began.
"You know what is the worst ?" Edmund rose his voice. "Mudbloods think they got power now."
Thorus let out a loud laugh. "Of course they do. Tuft's son is married to one of them."
"So what do we do now ? More than half of the population is for the only not pureblood candidate." Edgard asked.
Tom chuckled. The lads all turned around to face him and waited for him to speak.
"If I may add something…"
We are finally getting somewhere.
OoOoOo
27.01.1943 :
The lads and Tom left the room. They walked in silence in the stairs going down the second floor.
A door slamming, coming from a nearby hallway, stopped Tom in his tracks. The lads turned around and they all stayed silent for a while.
"Go back to the common room. You're not allowed to be there." Tom ordered them. They nodded and kept going down as Tom began walking towards where the sound came from.
He took his wand out of his pocket and cast a Lumos.
"Who's there ?" He asked.
A female sob was the only answer Tom got. He turned left and entered the girl's bathroom.
"Show yourself. It is past curfew." He announced. The sobs became louder.
Why do I have to do this again ?
I should have gone with the lads.
Then a moan. Tom exhaled.
"Warren. It is past curfew. Come out." He tried again. "Come on. I will not give you detention."
One of the stalls opened quietly and Myrtle Warren got out of the toilets, her eyes red and puffy.
"T-To?" She stuttered without finishing the word, her breath still panting with sobs.
"Yes it is me. Come on. Let's get you back to your common room."
"Y-you don't have to." She answered slightly panicked.
"And hear tomorrow that a fourth-year Ravenclaw wandered at night during my patrol ? Not going to happen."
He turned around and heard her follow him. They walked along in silence, except for the sobs which became less frequent.
Merlin, can't this girl quit it ?
Myrtle stopped in front of a knobless door. Tom looked at it. It had a bronze knocker in the shape of an eagle. Tom had never seen the entrance of the Ravenclaw's common room until tonight. He was eager to know how to enter so he looked at the girl next to him and waited for her to enter. As he saw she was not doing anything he told her "Well ? Enter."
Warren took the knocker in her right hand and slammed it twice.
"What gets broken without being held ?" The eagle asked.
They need to answer riddles.
How clever...
A small silence settled. Tom couldn't find the answer.
"A promise." Myrtle barely whispered.
Tom turned around and was a little taken aback. He didn't expect this answer from her.
"I knew you could get in." The eagle answered.
"It was your last strike Warren." Tom said while turning around. He didn't even wait for her to get in that he was already taking the stairs down.
OoOoOo
02.02.1943 :
Tom got out of transfiguration and walked in the corridors with Isodor, heading to their next theoretical class : Defense Against the Dark Arts. In front of him, Grace and Edgard were talking about the new spell they just learned.
"Hey Kiddo !" Someone shouted across the hallway.
Tom noticed Pollux and Cole coming their way.
"Sod off Pollux." He heard Grace laugh.
"Still co-"
"Pollux I'm not waiting for you." Cole informed his friend. "Not again."
Woodcroft smiled at Grace and nodded at Tom before continuing his way. Pollux flipped him off and focused on Grace again.
"Still coming to see me ?" He asked her, putting his arm around her shoulders and began walking along with them opposite to where he was supposed to go.
"I'd rather watch Milton eat". She said loudly.
The small boy, behind Tom, protested. "Hey ! Not cool."
"Don't say things you don't mean kiddo." He faked being shocked. "Why don't you wanna come ? Is it because of your irrational fear of brooms ?" Pollux teased. The latter leaned against her to whisper in her ear. "You rode a dragon for fuck sakes."
Come again ?
Tom scanned the lads to see if he was the only one who heard. They didn't seem bothered. He was the only one.
Grace shoved Pollux in the ribs.
"What ?" The sixth-year chuckled. "Don't get fucking wasted kiddo if you don't want to spill any of your secrets."
Interesting.
Tom heard Merrythought, who was waiting at the door, yelling "Parkinson ! Language !"
Pollux bowed dramatically at the teacher and smiled "Milles escouse gendarme" (Trad : Doesn't really mean anything, but was suppose to mean Excuse-me madam)
Grace started laughing. Tom had never seen her so carefree before.
"And you call yourself fluent" She teased him.
Pollux mimed stabbing himself in the heart and said "you wound me kiddo."
"Stop being so dramatic Pollux. It doesn't suit you."
Tom just realised something. Grace was caring with Milton, sarcastic with Thorus, laughing with Isodor, but with Pollux, she was different. It was pure friendship.
02.02.1943 :
Hermione settled next to Belone in the middle of the room. She opened her book Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts and turned it to page 394, the reductor curse.
Merrythought began.
As they all started rehearsing the hand movement, Hermione heard Belone chuckled next to her. She turned her head to where her fellow slytherin was looking at and saw Milton struggling.
"Watch." Belone whispered.
She rose her wand slightly then switched it. Milton's inkpot spilled on his desk. Belone snickered. Hermione could see a satisfying grin appearing on her face.
"Why do you hate Milton so much ?" Hermione asked, genuinely interested.
Belone looked at her puzzled.
"Apparently my father would have stolen his father's job at the ministry." Belone built the suspense for a couple a second before continuing. "Which totally accurate." She whispered while winking.
"But he hasn't done anything to you personally ?"
"That's true. But look at his face Grace. I love-" She dragged the "o" a smile on her lips "seeing his face when I bother him."
"Do I sense a lingering a crush Belone ?" Hermione teased.
Belone looked at her before laughing out loud, bringing the entire class's attention to the two of them.
"Ladies." Merrythought warned them.
Belone and Hermione mouthed "sorry" at the same time then began whispering again.
"Don't be ridiculous Grace. I am soon to be married."
"Excuse me ?" Hermione rose an eyebrow.
"Come on Grace. Everyone is betrothed."
Belone put one of her elbow on the wooden table and pointed her index finger towards random person in the room, telling Hermione who they were betrothed to. "Dolohov. Yes he is too. No one knows to who though. I like to think that is ashamed. Why ? Just a guess."
"And you ?" Hermione asked.
"I happen to be one of the lucky girls." A real smile spread on her face.
Hermione found herself smiling too at the happy look her friend had. Merrythought cleared her throat and all the chatter stopped.
"So we will be stopping here today. But before you leave for lunch I have an announcement to make. After fifty years of teaching, here at Hogwarts, I believe it is my time to step out and let a new professor join the teaching staff. I decided to tell you all today because I just got the confirmation this morning that Headmaster Dippet had found a replacement."
Students around the room began talking to one another, asking questions to the professor whereas Hermione tried to focus on what she had just heard.
You have already heard that Hermione.
Where have you heard that ?
Everyone seemed shocked. Everyone except a bunch of boys, all members of the Slugclub.
They knew. How ?
Maybe Slughorn told th-
She stopped her thinking and looked at Tom.
No.
Tom told them.
Tom told them during a dinner.
Tom told them during a dinner then had a private conversation with Slughorn.
They talked about Horcruxes.
Tom looked back at her.
Fuck.
That was why Tom had bought the book on the day of the attack. He had already had the conversation with Slughorn. He had already known about them. He just needed to know how to make them. How to make seven of them.
OoOoOo
21.02.1943 :
Slughorn was sitting behind his desk and Hermione was standing behind her cauldron. They had started three weeks ago brewing polyjuice potion. On this day, the steps were easy and there were just a few of them. When she had finished stirring her potion, she let it rest and sat down in front of him.
"Well Grace, as you know the orientation session had already begun. " Slughorn told her, offering her a cup of tea she gladly accepted. They already agreed on doing hers on one of their private classes.
"So what do you want to do after Hogwarts ? What is your plan ? Follow your parents' path ?" He asked her.
Dentists ?
"Would you see yourself a professor ?" He kept going.
"Oh !" Hermione said. "Not really."
"Well, where do you see yourself in ten years ? Twenty ? Fifty ?"
Fifty ?
You see yourself home Hermione.
"I never had the opportunity to think about the future. Even back home, never got the chance to think about it." She replied honestly.
Slughorn became uneasy at her words. He looked right at her and softly smiled "now you have the time Grace. What about Auror ? You clearly got the skills. But master potion would suit you more. You could maybe one day take my place. Wait, no. No teaching you said." He winked.
Take the opportunity Hermione.
"It is a really difficult thing being a professor. I don't know if I have the skills for it. For instance, I don't know how you do this professor. I don't know how you manage when a student comes to see you and ask you about terrible things that will get consequences on their souls.."
Concern spread on his face and his eyebrows furrowed a bit.
"Grace, you did what you had to do."
"Professor, I-" She tried totally lost.
"What you did was horrible but necessary. You have a past and you have every reason to do it. Do I condemn it ? Yes, with all my heart. But do I understand it ? Yes, with all my heart."
Hermione wanted to say something, to scream at him that she was not talking about herself, but talking about a monster. And now, she wondered if she was the monster.
"You are manipulative, calculating and cunning Grace. But that's what will get you there. Whatever you will do in ten years, twenty years or fifty years, you will do things that will matter."
Hermione was a little emotional at Slughorn's speech. This feeling quickly disappeared as he kept talking. "Of course, don't forget that I was there Grace. Tutoring you, pushing you and guiding you. You will always have a place on my shelf."
He's still a Slytherin after all.
He doesn't care as long as you're on his shelf.
She nods. He got some pamphlet out of his desk and put them in front of her. He opened his mouth and began explaining to her which paths she could choose.
OoOoOo
01.03.1943 :
Things began to fall back into normal. People stopped thinking about the attacks and mourning. Classes went back to normal. Everything seemed more normal.
Hermione began to sleep again, she got used to the nightmares. But even though she slept better, she still had headaches. They were not constant, but seemed to happen more and more often.
And today she had this nudge. She couldn't put her finger on it. She knew she was missing something important.
She was lying on her bed trying to figure out what she had forgotten.
Grindelwald, Tom, the lads, Dumbledore, Slughorn ?
What are you forgetting Hermione ?
Hermione got up and left the dorm. She closed the door quietly behind her and went to the common room. It was silent and only the crackling of the chimney could be heard.
She briefly scanned the room and noticed him. He was sitting behind the chess set, playing against himself.
She hesitated on coming back to her dorm. She took a step back.
"Still not sleeping ?" He asked her without raising his head.
She looked behind her to make sure he was talking to her.
"Yes I am talking to you Hortense." He finally looked at her. Hermione could see in his eyes that he was ready to provoke her, like he always did.
"Not tonight Riddle." She simply said. "I'm not in the mood."
His expression changed. "Fine. Let's play then." He showed her the chess set with his hand. She stayed still for a moment but finally sat in front of him.
"White I suppose ?" He smirked.
"Not tonight. Not in the mood to play."
Tom understood what she meant. She wanted to play chess. However, she didn't want to play his game. He put the pieces back to their initial position. And it began.
They played in silence for the first ten minutes.
You still don't know what you are forgetting.
"Was it the same ?" He broke the silence.
"What are you talking about ?"
"Back there. Was it the same as the attack in January ?"
He was the first one to broach the subject with her. Everyone stared. Everyone whispered. But he was the first one to ask. Hermione took the time to think about it.
"I had two close friends. Not close friends. They were my brothers." She chuckled. "I even thought I was in love with one of them."
She played her next move.
"We did everything together. We were in the same house, the same classes. We spent holidays together. They were my first friends. They're still my first friends. Nothing is going to change that." She kept going.
"Did they fight along with you ?" Tom asked.
"We did everything together. I used to be a know-it-all. To follow the rules by the book. Afraid of the consequences if I didn't respect them. After six months of friendship with them, I think I broke all of them."
She stopped for a while.
"They knew I loved the chair on the left of the chimney in our common room. So when I stayed late in the library they always made sure this chair was available when I came back.
Henri always left little chocolate next to me when I was studying during our exam period. He was afraid I would forget to eat. We never talked about it. It was just natural.
Romain taught me how to play chess. Henri was better than me at first. But we kept playing and I got better. Even won against Romain once and I didn't even cheat.
Then the war began. We lost people. We began to get scarred. But at least we were together.
One day, we were given a mission. We had a goal but no instructions. But we were together. Until we were not. Out of three we became two. Romain left us. It was scary, we were angry." She stopped to think.
"One day I had to cut Henri's hair. I was as scared as he was." Hermione chuckled. "He had this mass of hair, wild. He told me he liked it at the end. But I really believe he just said that not for me to feel bad. At least we were together.
Romain eventually came back. Safe and sound. And we were back together, the three of us."
The golden trio.
"And now-"
She stopped abruptly. She inhaled. "Now I am alone. I lost them. I lost them during a war. During an attack. I spent my last moment with one of them. He was fine. And the other one ? I still don't know what happened to him."
She examined the pieces in front of her and shifted her queen.
"So no Riddle. It was not the same. Back then, I had this constant fear. Not of dying myself but to be alone. In January, it was only instinct. There were no feelings involved. And that changed everything."
Her queen moved to E5 and shattered his king.
"That is totally barbaric." Tom stated.
"That's wizard chess." She replied instinctively.
She froze.
That's it.
That's what you forgot.
"It's his birthday." She whispered. "That's what I forgot. That's what nudged me all day."
She finally looked at him.
"I forgot about his birthday." She concluded. "How could I have forgotten his birthday ?" The only thing present in her voice were pain and guilt.
Tom didn't answer right away. She had always looked sad, but tonight she was broken.
"Let's play another game." He finally said, magically resetting the game.
OoOoOo
10.03.1943 :
She was sitting one of the bed, her legs crossed under her. She had come to the infirmary right after her transfiguration class for her headaches as it had become unbearable. The matron gave her a calming draught and she was waiting for it to start working.
The door opened and two younger girls entered.
"Miss Asphodela, Myrtle got hurt." She heard a girl say.
"Sit down on a bed I'll be here in a bit." The matron answered.
Leonara got close to Hermione. "Take off your shirt. I am going to take a look at your old wound."
The nurse closed the curtains around Hermione's bed to give her some privacy. She took off her shirt and let the matron do her work.
"It seems to be finally healing." Miss Asphodela smiled at Hermione. "You can get dressed. Don't forget to keep applying the ointment every night."
Hermione got up and took her shirt. She put her hands in the sleeves holes. "Thanks Miss Asphodela."
The nurse opened the curtains as she put her head through the neck. She turned 90 degrees to the right and saw two girls staring at her. None of them spoke for a couple of seconds before the blond one broke the silence.
"You're Grace Hortense !" She said rapidly. "I am Olive Hornby and this is …"
"Moaning Myrtle." Hermione finished without even thinking.
The two Ravenclaw opened their eyes wide before Olive started snickering.
"Nice nickname ! Never thought about it, I-"
Fuck.
Well done Hermione.
"So why are you here again ?" Hermione cut, desperately trying to change the subject.
"Myrtle fell down the stairs."
And you, Olive, pushed her.
Hermione finally knotted her tie. "Well, get better." She hurried out of the infirmary.
OoOoOo
17.03.1943 :
It had been a week.
A week of people whispering behind her back, shutting up as she passed near them.
And she still had no idea why.
Even the lads became more distant. She truly felt alone, except for Pollux. But they were not in the same classes, didn't have the same schedule.
She sat down in transfiguration and opened her book. She closed her eyes and felt the headache coming back. She was exhausted, emotionally and physically.
The class began and she was unable to focus on anything. She put her head in both of her hands and tried to steady her breath. She closed her eyes. She thought that maybe she could sleep for a bit. At least, when she was asleep there were no rumours around her and no searing pain in her head.
A book fell on the floor not far from her and made her head snap up. Her gaze was still sleepy and fell on her professor. He was staring back at her. The pain in her head intensified. And she understood.
How dare he ?
How could he ?
How could he talk about right and wrong and then do that ? And to you ?
What is he even looking for ?
Her hands began shaking from anger and she resigned herself to stay sitting. She waited.
Her right leg was twitching, her fingers were tapping the wooden table. And she waited.
She waited for the class to end. She waited for the students to leave. She waited for him to be alone.
Hermione was staring at him as the room emptied.
"Tom." Dumbledore said, well aware of Hermione's gaze on him. "I believe Headmaster Dippet is waiting for you in his office."
Hermione turned her head and understood that Tom knew something was up and as usual wanted to witness it. He nodded his head at the professor and left the room. They were finally alone.
Hermione stood up abruptly and made her chair fall.
"Legilimency is illegal." She shouted.
"Miss Hortense, listen…"
"No ! You listen to me. You've been inside my head for two months. You had no right !"
Dumbledore flicked his wand. At this moment Hermione understood that the room was not soundproof and Tom had surely heard the beginning of their argument.
"Miss Hortense do not forget that I am your professor." He stated.
"Yes you're right. You are my professor. However, that doesn't give you the right to violate my mind ! And for what ? What were you looking for ? What were you so desperate to find ?"
"Your behaviour didn't add up Miss Hortense."
"W-Wha-What ?" Hermione was completely lost.
"You saw me with Grindelwald. The reason for all your losses. Yet, you did nothing."
"You too ! You did nothing ! You could have killed him."
"You could have too. You had all the reasons. He killed your family, your friends, everyone you knew. No one would have blamed you. England would have understood. You would have been a war hero. And still, Miss Hortense, you didn't even try to do something. And that doesn't add up." Dumbledore explained.
He's trying to manipulate you.
He's turning the situation around.
You have done anything wrong Hermione, he's the one who got into your head.
He's the one to blame.
"And you think that gives you the right to get inside my head Professor ?" Hermione asked.
"I did what I had to do for the school, for the students, for the-"
"Greater good ?" She cut him.
He closed his mouth. They stayed in silence as they looked at each other scornfully.
"At least, have you found what you were looking for in my head ?"
"Miss Hortense, we both know that your mind is not easy to get in." He replied.
Dumbledore looked at her above his glasses.
What did he saw ?
OoOoOo
17.03.1943 :
Hermione closed violently the common room door behind her and paced in front of it, her hands in her hair.
How could he do that ?
How could he do that to a student ?
How could you've let him do that ?
"Wow Grace ! What's going on ? Sit down you're making me dizzy." She heard Thorus approaching her.
She rose her head and stopped walking to face him.
"Oh you're talking to me now ?" Hermione yelled. "After days of silence, you're talking to me ?"
"Grace you're making a scene." Thorus whispered between his teeth.
"I don't give a fuck if I'm making a scene Thorus !"
Isodor snickered on the couch not far from her.
"You've got something to say Avery ?" She shouted at him.
Hermione just snapped. After two months of a quasi constant headache, which turned out to be her professor violating her privacy, a week of the lads ignoring her and people talking behind her back, Hermione finally snapped.
She looked at the room and saw everyone looking at her.
"No one talks ? She kept yelling. "Do you want me to leave the room so you can all talk behind my back ?"
"Grace." Thorus called her.
"Tell me Thorus. What is everyone saying about me ?"
Nott didn't answer, he simply looked at the lads, desperately trying to find some kind of help.
She shoved passed him and got close to Avery.
"Isodor. Tell me."
Once again, no one talked.
She spun around and faced Milton.
"Come on Milton." She said.
"Grace…"
"Is it not Gracie anymore ?"
"It-it's nothing."
"You're a fucking coward Milton. No one's going to tell me ?"
Dolohov snickered.
"Dolohov…" Tom warned him.
"No Riddle. Let him talk." Hermione cut him. "Maybe for once he would have something interesting to say."
"We saw it." Dolohov spoke up, proud.
What's he talking about ?
"I warned everyone not to trust you. I was right, now I have a proof. I saw it." He kept going.
"You didn't see anything." Isodor interrupted.
What could they have seen ?
The felix felicis ?
The marauder's map ?
The Black's dagger ?
The polyjuice ?
"Everyone's talking about it." Dolohov continued, taunting her. "I don't even need to see it. I can imagine it."
"The fuck are you talking about Dolohov ?" Hermione rose her voice.
"The scar." Tom answered.
A silence settled.
"Which one ? The one that I wear as a choker ?" Hermione snickered. "It's no secret."
"No Hortense." Tom smirked. "The one on your arm."
Her blood drained from her face, her hands began to shake lightly.
How ?
Calm down Hermione. You've got this. You've considered this scenario.
"What's on my arm then ?" She calmly asked.
"Mudblood." Dolohov spat.
"I'm sorry Dolohov, did we just not established that you haven't seen it ?"
"Someone saw it." Malfoy intervened.
"Was it you Malfoy ?" Hermione asked. "Did you see the word Mudblood written on my arm ?"
Malfoy didn't answer.
"Silence speaks more than words." Hermione stated. "Who saw it then ? Did someone even see it ?"
The silence came back until a first-year spoke. "Myrtle Warren saw it."
"You mean Moaning Myrtle ?" Abraxas snickered. Everyone laughed at his intervention.
"Did you know I was the one who gave her this nickname Malfoy ?" She asked him. "No answer ? I guess you didn't know. Don't you think it's funny that the girl I mocked is the one spreading rumours about me ?"
"They were two Grace." Edmund added. "Olive Hornby saw it too."
"Do tell me Rosier. What did they see ?"
"They saw Mud on your arm." Milton completed.
"So you just assumed that it was saying Mudblood. Well Milton, we all assume here that received the same education as your brother. Yet, you prove us every day that we are wrong."
Hermione had to spread doubt. And as she said the last sentence, she could see people reconsidering what they thought about the situation.
"And you Dolohov." She turned towards him. "Always the first one to point fingers. Of course it is convenient for you if I have Mudblood written on my arm."
They all knew what she was talking about.
"If you're so sure Dolohov, if you're sure I have Mudblood written on my arm, swear it on your magic. Swear on your magic that I have Mudblood written on my arm." She dared him.
He didn't take the bait and closed his mouth.
"Once again, silence speaks more than words." Hermione concluded.
She turned around and left the room. Once in the hallway, she exhaled loudly. She couldn't go back inside until she had calmed down. She walked for a bit in the deserted corridors. Her mind was going to explode.
Between Dumbledore and now that, you feel like you can't do it anymore Hermione.
But you're nearly there.
You've worked so hard.
You can do this Hermione.
It's nearly the end.
Her head was spinning.
"Kiddo ?" She heard. "Are you okay ? Do you need to get to the infirmary ?"
"Did you know ?" She asked Pollux on the verge of snapping.
"About what ?"
"About the scar !" She finally snapped. "You should have fucking told me." She shoved him. "You're supposed to be my friend Pollux. What the fuck ?"
"Grace, calm down a bit !"
"You thought it was funny maybe ?" Hermione shouted. "Everyone talking behind my back, about the poor little girl who just arrived after a war with scars and…"
"I don't care about the rumours. They're fake."
She looked at him. "Yes, they are fake."
Pollux was about to put on of his hands on her shoulders but she took a step back.
"I think I need to be alone. I'll see you later Pollux."
She quickly left and got to the seventh floor. She passed three times in front of the wall before a door appeared. She got in and settled in her usual wagon. Hermione looked outside the window.
Maybe you should think about it.
15.04.1943 :
"It was fixed." Edmund spat.
"Of course it was." Abraxas barked.
The lads were tensed. All gathered in the Great Hall for breakfast, they had just finished The Daily Prophet. As Tom already knew months prior, Tuft had won.
"It is mudblood's fault." Dolohov spat.
"Shut it Antonin." Thorus shoved the latter in the ribs. "You're not at home."
"We should be allowed to say what we want." Abraxas rose his voice. "We are the founding families. Without us those mudbloods would be nothing."
It is going to be even easier than I anticipated.
Tom looked around them and he noticed her.
It had been almost a month since the confrontation about the supposed scar. The rumours had lessened, people were not talking much about her anymore. Few of them were still not convinced though.
She used to sit in the middle of them but now she was on the side. Sat next to one of them still, but not taking part in the conversation.
It is maybe for the best.
She was in front of Pollux and Cole and had her own discussion with them. She seemed more closed, just like her mind he supposed.
He had been a month and Tom had not forgotten the few words he had heard between Grace and Dumbledore.
Tom stood up and spoke to the lads. "Let's go to class."
The seven boys stood up too and began walking towards the exit.
"Aren't we not waiting for Gracie ?" Milton candidly asked.
Dolohov turned his head and took a good look at her. "I am not waiting for a mudblood."
Tom saw, from the corner of his eyes, Grace's shoulders tensed.
"As a matter of fact…" Abraxas started but stopped as soon as Tom shoved him in the ribs.
"No. We are not waiting for her." The prefect concluded.
As he left the room, Tom caught a glimpse of Grace. She was staring at Pollux, a determined look on her face.
OoOoOo
15.04.1943 :
They were, as usual, in the same room on the fifth floor at night, during one of Tom's patrols. No one had spoken yet. The lads were all sat on their chair, watching Tom pace the room, waiting for him to finally speak.
"What we thought unrealisable at the beginning just happened." He finally spoke up. "We were defeated and the world as we knew it is no longer. The change has already begun and it is a change you are no longer a part of. You, the sons of the mighty 28. You, the heritage of our country's value. You, my friends are no longer the future of our great nation."
He stopped walking and faced them. They were all looking at him as if he held the only valuable truth.
"We have lost tonight. Not because our ideals were wrong, because my friends, they are not. We lost tonight because your fathers are purebloods. And that is the sole problem of this election.
Purebloods were becoming once again too powerful and must therefore be destroyed. What they did not realise however, is that purebloods cannot be destroyed. They detain more power than any of them would dream of.
Purebloods have values, traditions, knowledge and connections that are essential for England. They might think that they can live without pureblood, but they are only fooling themselves. You know it. I know it. They do not know it yet.
This election was the first step in their futile emancipation from what they think they do not need. This election was the first stage of casting the pureblood aside. Because, my friends, this is what they are trying to do : cast aside the powerful, cast aside the true heirs, cast aside what they are not and can never be."
Tom stopped and stared. The lads, at the interruption of his speech, began whispering among themselves. He got close to his chair and laid his forearms on the wooden structure. After a few seconds of silence, Tom resumed.
"After all of that ? After the attack in January ? After hypocritical declarations that the fight was solely against Grindelwald and his regime, and once the purebloods had laid down their political arms, the annihilation of the purebloods began according to their plan. And Dumbledore, the perfect embodiment of Gryffindor as they all think, was supposed to fix all of our problems ? Not at all. The only thing he did was sowing the wrong seed in people's mind."
As he said those last words, Tom saw the confusion on the lads' faces.
"No we are not alike. Dumbledore is wrong : we are not alike. Us and the mudbloods. Two separate education living in the same world. Those who were raised knowing about magic and its value and those who were not. And that my friends is where we trace the line.
How dare mudbloods, who come into our world without even knowing magic exists before they are eleven, try to cast aside those who were raised in it ?
How dare mudbloods come into our world and try to change what had been established for centuries ?
Maybe Salazar Slytherin was right after all."
Tom sat down.
"So what now Tom ? What do we do ?" Isodor asked him.
Now, I shall rise.
OoOoOo
15.04.1943 :
They entered the common room, determination printed of their faces. The lads headed towards their dorms whereas Tom lingered behind.
Grace was sat on the couch in front of the fireplace, a book in her lap. He made sure the door was properly closed and that no first year was out of beds. He walked behind the couch to reach his dorm but stopped in his tracks as he heard her voice.
"Did they believe you ?" She asked him.
Tom turned around and saw Grace still reading her book as if she had not spoken to him.
"You gave them hope about their fathers winning this election. However we are both aware that was not your belief. We said it ourselves that Tuft would win and well before her rise in the polls." She kept going.
"I do not know what you are talking about Hortense."
He resumed walking and fell upon Thorus on the corridor leading to their dorms.
"You've played them." Nott simply stated.
"How come ?" Tom asked.
"You knew Tuft would win from the beginning."
"Any smart person would have known. And that is why your father, and you too Thorus knew. They were no other candidate fit to take the slot."
"Are you playing me right now Tom ?"
"I would not be a Slytherin if I was not."
22.04.1943 :
Thorus slightly pushed her arm and Hermione rose her head.
"The class is over." He kindly said.
She nodded and packed her things before following him outside the rune's room. They descended the main staircase in a comfortable silence. As they approached the first floor they heard a loud thump followed by a snarky laugh.
"I-I need to go to the library. Do you want to come with me ?" Thorus asked her in a rush.
Hermione took a good look at him. Another loud noise echoed and before Thorus even opened his mouth she walked towards the sound.
Milton and Isodor were holding a boy by the arms while Dolohov played with his wand in front of him.
"What should I do with you ?" Antonin taunted him.
"Make him bleed. Take the mud out of him." Milton said.
"Finally Milton." Dolohov smiled.
Hermione saw a grin appearing on Milton's face.
"What the fuck is going on ?" Hermione snapped as she approached them.
The three Slytherin turned their heads.
"Hortense." Dolohov smirked. "Get in line. You're next."
"Antonin…" Isodor warned him.
"What ? Am I wrong ? We don't know anything about her and we all know what's written on her arm…"
"That's the thing Dolohov. You don't know what's written."
She turned around to walk to her common room but stopped a few meters after.
"At least do it in a place where no one can see you, idiots." Hermione told them.
You really have to do it know.
OoOoOo
22.04.1943 :
"Ok." Hermione exhaled while looking at her reflection in the bathroom's mirror. "Everyone's asleep. You've put a locking charm on the door. You've put a silence charm. You're really going to do it."
The only sounds she could hear were her heartbeat and her shaky breath. She put both of her hands in her hair and closed her eyes.
"You've got everything. Everything's in order. You've got this. It's going to be fine. It's going to be fine."
It's not going to be fine.
She put her hands on the sink and let her fingers tap on the edge. She looked at the material laid in front of her. She counted again if she had everything. She had.
"You've got this. Just do it. Take it and do it."
She put her hair in a bun and exhaled. She approached her right hand from the tool but backed down.
"Come Hermione. You've got this. You've…"
22.04.1943 :
"...got this !" Orion Black laughed. "Come on Isodor. Don't be a pussy."
"It's on his fucking head Black !" The blond answered.
"Another reason for you not to screw up." Tom teased.
All the fifth years Slytherin boy were gathered in their dorms, none of them could sleep so here they were, playing around.
Abraxas had a green apple on his head and was standing by the bathroom door.
"Come on Avery !" He shouted. "I'm getting bored over there."
"Shut up Malfoy or the knife is going to end up in your head instead of the apple." Isodor rose his voice.
"It's not a knife Isodor. It's a dagger. The Black's dagger." Cygnus intervened. "Been in the family for centuries."
"Well, let me rephrase then. Shut up Malfoy or the Black's dagger is going to end up…"
22.04.1943 :
"...in and breathe out Hermione."
Hermione put the palms of her hands on her eyes. She stayed that way for a couple of seconds before facing her reflection once again. She released her hair from the bun.
"No. Not going to do it. No. No. No" She exhaled.
You have to.
Her right hand began shaking as it got closer to it. She finally took it. It felt heavy. She rose it then dropped it as if it had just burnt her. It fell in the sink in a loud noise.
"There must be another solution. I'm not going to it. It's…"
22.04.1943 :
"...insane !" Edgard chuckled from his bed.
"Thanks Edgard !" Isodor exhaled. "I was ready to do it but now you've distracted me, I have to start from the beginning."
All the other boys groaned. Isodor shifted from one leg to another. He closed his left eye and rose the dagger then did the same with his right eye. Abraxas, in front of him, had leaned on the door and crossed his arms in annoyance.
"I bet he's going to miss." Dolohov whispered to Tom.
"I bet he is not even going to throw it." The prefect answered a small smile on his lips.
Isodor turned his head and flipped them off. "Thanks lads for the support."
"Focus !" They both yelled at the same time.
"Come on Avery ! We don't have all…"
22.04.1943 :
"...night. You don't have all night Hermione."
She began pacing in the small bathroom. "If you're going to do this you've got to do it now."
She stopped walking and faced the mirror once again. She took it once again. She froze.
"For fuck sakes ! Do something !" She yelled at herself.
She felt the tears in her eyes. "Please do something."
"Just do…"
22.04.1943 :
"...it." Cygnus pressed the young blond.
"Come on. I believe in you." Thorus told him.
"You're the only one." Isodor complained dramatically.
Tom was leaning on the bedpost of his own bed, he pushed himself from it and took two steps. He ripped the dagger from Isodor's hand and threw it across the room. The dagger slit the apple in half and stayed in the wooden door.
"That is how you…"
22.04.1943 :
"Do it !" She screamed at herself, tears of frustration pooling in her eyes.
Everything stopped for a second. There was no heartbeat anymore, no shaky breath, just a deafening silence.
Without tearing her gaze away from the mirror she felt her right hand moving from its own accord towards her left forearm.
As the Black's dagger pierced her skin, she let out a haunting scream.
22.04.1943 :
They screamed, laughed and cheered.
The eight boys tackled the laughing prefect on the ground.
22.04.1943 :
She fell on the floor. Her head began spinning from the loss of blood and the memories coming back in her mind.
22.04.1943 :
"If Tom had missed and had grazed me, what would have happened ?" Abraxas asked Cygnus.
"You don't want to know." He chuckled.
22.04.1943 :
Lying on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood, Hermione had blacked out before she could finish.
29.05.1943 :
"Pour me another one Abe." Hermione asked him, slightly tipsy.
"Only because it is your birthday." He smiled while serving her. "After, you need to go back."
She grinned at him and took a sip of her drink. Abe disappear in the backroom for a minute and came back with a wrapped up present. As the sight of him grinning, she couldn't help but smile too.
"You didn't have to Abe…" She shyly said.
"Open it."
He dropped the package on the bar and she opened it. A silver holster laid in a white box. She took it in her hands. At the bottom right, Hermione saw an inscription GH.
Hermione hopped on the ground and went behind the bar to hug Abe tightly.
"Thank you so much." She murmured.
She went back to her stool and finished the drink in one go.
"Let's go back to your common room now." Abe told her.
"One more drink."
"Grace, you should really go back."
Hermione glared at him. She understood that there was something up, Abe had never asked her to go back to her dorm.
"What did you do Abe ?" She asked.
"I didn't do anything." He quickly answered. "However Pollux…"
"For God's sake. I told you I didn't want to do anything for my birthday."
Or rather Grace's birthday.
"Well you didn't tell him." Abe pointed out.
Hermione groaned, rose from her seat, took the holster and left the bar after saying goodbye to Abe.
As she walked her way back to the castle, feeling slightly intoxicated, she began scratching her left forearm. She had taken off the bandage the week before, but she still felt an unpleasant tingling sensation.
Hermione arrived in front of the Slytherin's common room. She exhaled and entered. Music, coming from the radio, enveloped the room. People were chatting enthusiastically over a glass of firewhisky or butterbeer. Hermione dived into the crowd and reached for the table filled with drinks and food. She poured herself a drink and saw the lads with Pollux on the other side of the room. She approached them.
"What's she doing ?" She heard Pollux complaining. "She's always fucking late. Well, yes she doesn't know but still…"
"Pol…" Mitlon started.
"Maybe she is upstairs and no one saw her. Knowing her, she may be hiding." The sixth-year kept going.
"Pollux, she is currently behind you." Tom stated emotionless.
The latter turned around and smiled at Hermione. "Hey ! Happy birthday kiddo !"
Hermione couldn't help the displease look she had on her face. She had told Pollux many times that she didn't want any party for her birthday. After the second of May, Hermione had felt more down than ever and she was not particularly prone to celebrating the birthday of the dead girl she stole her identity from. Yet, here she was.
Sensing the tension, Pollux gave her a poorly wrapped gift. "That's for you."
She took the present and opened it. "Thank you Pollux." She faked a smile. Hermione tried to hide the gift from the lads but Antonin took the opportunity to embarrass her. "What is it ?"
"A book." She simply replied.
Isodor, on her right, grabbed the book and laughed. He turned the volume for everyone to see. "When's your next period ? And we're not talking about classes." Avery laughed out loud. "Nice one Parkinson."
OoOoOo
29.05.1943 :
Hermione ended up dancing with Belone in the middle of the common room. After her last glass of firewhisky she realised that she was stuck at this party so she decided on trying to have fun. The song ended, she embraced Belone and went for another drink.
"Keep pouring Grace." She heard coming from behind then saw a glass next to hers. She did as she was told and handed the glass to a smiling Cole.
While talking to him, she actually had fun.
"Kiddo !" Pollux called her from the other side of the room, not caring about bothering the people listening to the music.
She took Cole by the arm and dragged him along towards the lads and Pollux.
"You really look like you're hating this party by the smile on your face." The oldest Parkinson teased her. "By the way, you never told me if you had liked the gift."
"Shut up." She laughed, swaying a bit from alcohol.
"What else did you get ?" Edmund asked.
"Abe got me a new holster, surprisingly Slughorn offered me a new potion set…"
"Surprisingly ?" Lestrange snickered.
"And my grandmother sent me a box of my favorite childhood treats : Calissons d'Aix." Hermione finished.
She noticed the surprised looks the lads seemed to have on their faces. Hermione had never talked about Grace's family. Tom had a slight smirk, understanding that she had drunk maybe a little too much.
"Hortense, I am talking on behalf of all the lads here, and I would like to apologize for not giving you a present tonight." Tom spoke up.
"It's fine Riddle." Hermione tried to cut short. "I wasn't expecting you to."
"Afterall, with all the tension between you and the lads lately, because of all your secrets, your lies... You kind of drifted apart. Didn't you ?"
She looked around her and realised that no one was going to help her out of this situation. Not even Pollux.
"My lies ? You're still on that ?" She blurted out. "All of you, you're still on that."
"How could we not ?" Tom asked her.
"Do you want me to show you my scar ?"
Riddle's brows furrowed in surprise.
"Which one Riddle ?" She asked him smiling a little. "The one on my calf ?" She lowered her left sock revealing a large claw mark. "I got a little scratch there, a little gift from a werewolf."
Hermione stopped for a second.
"Or do you want to see this one ?"
She undid the top three buttons of her shirt. A pale large gash was visible, but only a part of it.
"Quite the scar this one. Interesting story by the way. But that's not the one you're interested in ? Right ?" Hermione closed them back.
"Then there's.. Oh no, you've already told me that you weren't talking about this one." She said while flowing her finger on her throat. "However, what you don't know is that I got this one on the same night as this one." She held her clothed left arm up.
Even though the lads, Cole and Pollux were mortified by the scars she had shown them, as soon as she rose her arm up, she saw the morbid curiosity crawling in their eyes. But Tom was almost smiling.
"By the same knife too." Hermione kept going while by starting rolling up her sleeve slowly.
First the d, then the two o's, the l and the b. She saw Antonin smiling at the sight of the word blood scarred on her skin. However, his smile faltered as she showed them the entire scar.
"Are you still on that now ?" She asked everyone.
She looked at each one of them. For the last couple of months, they were too focused on the word they thought was on her arm to realise what it meant. Someone had taken a dagger, and wrote in her flesh. And tonight, while staring at it, they finally understood the atrocity of it.
She shot them a smile, rose her glass, proudly exposing Madblood to the entire room. "Here's to you Grace." She declared.
No one talked, no one moved. Except for Tom and his glass in the air.
Author's note :
Hi guys,
So we did a 10k chapter. Sorry about that. Got a little carried away.
Sorry for not replying to the reviews, we looooooove them and we're gonna reply soon !
Lots of love,
-DDM's Managers