* First Thing Wednesday Morning, After the Funeral *

An alarm starts, a klaxon blaring. Max immediately opens her eyes, and immediately closes them. The sun sharply breaks through the window, full of clarity. She wants that clarity but not this early. An arm strikes out from the covers.

Ah... Silence.

Nine minutes later, the alarm sounds again, forcing Max to attack again. Knocking it to the floor, it eludes her reach.

Don't...

It survives the fall, now echoing from under her bed.

Noooo...

Forcing herself upright, she reaches upside down to dig out the offending electronics from it's hiding space.

Just about there.

She stretches out, just managing to grab the power cord. Quickly pulling, her legs shit on the bed above her.

They slide to the edge.

Wha-

The pain in her back from it's trip to the floor finishes waking her up. The knock to her head from her bed is completely unnecessary for this task.

First fucking thing in the morning.

An appropriate start to the morning.

Rubbing her head, Max looks around for her toiletries. Grabbing clothes and towel, she heads to the shower. As usual, Juliet and Dana stand gossiping in the hall. Alyssa is heading down the stairs, probably Brooke in front of her.

The doors to Kate's and Victoria's rooms are closed.

Not my problem.

The showers are already going, two of the three at least. Max hopes it isn't...

The water stops on both at nearly the same time. Almost on queue, Courtney and Taylor exit their respective stalls, immediately starting up whatever conversation they had on hold. Max tries to dart past both but, while wrapping her hair, Courtney puts out a hand to stop her.

'Hey Caulfield. Can I-'

'Court, please let me by.'

'Max, I just want to-'

'Come on, just-'

'I'm sorry!'

Max stops her push forward. Stares at the pair of toweled girls. 'What do you mean sorry?'

The pair share a look. Taylor urges Courtney on. 'I'm- I'm sorry for the way I- we treated you.'

Max refuses to give an inch. 'Like what?'

'Like, uh. Like you did-'

'Like I did something wrong? Like I stole Victoria from you?' Max's ire from the night before has her temper on a trigger. 'Like a pariah, right? That's what you called me the other day. Or am I just crazy? You just-' Max grabs onto her frustration, trying to force the words. She turns to Taylor. 'I thought you weren't about tearing down people. I thought you were about more than this petty gossip bullshit.'

A small answer. 'I am.'

Turning back to the Brunette, Max lays into her. 'And maybe you think that too. Maybe you don't see how destructive you actions are towards other people. Maybe you think you're just keeping people in their spot.' Her eyes glass, her brow screws up. 'People don't have spots. We are so much more than the "pariah" or "hipster" or "nerd". Kate... she's more than "that religious girl". She's- You- You two hurt her. And me.'

A mumble, incoherent, issues from the blonde.

'What was that?'

'So did Victoria.'

'No shit.' Max takes a step back, shaking her head. 'And Vicky feels terrible. She knows how bad she screwed up. She's asked both of us for forgiveness. And me and Kate- We saw that. We saw how hard it was for her to realize that. However bad she made us feel, she was- no, she is dealing with just as much as we are. After what-'

I just gotta say this. Do it.

Max's voice, approaching a yell, drops down to almost a whisper. 'After what Nathan did, you two abandoned her. You thought she was a part of it. You're supposed to be best friends and you didn't even see what you did to her. You really, really hurt her. When she needed you the most.'

From the look on the two faces Max finally realizes... they never knew. They never realized that Victory went through something so harsh, so destructive. And instead of helping they did the opposite. The look of concern, with a side of sickness, on Courtney's face. The horror and teary expression on Taylor's.

'I don't want your apologies. I don't need it. I know you were just... trying to be Victoria. Who she used to be, who everyone thought she was.' Max stutters, starting to overwhelm. 'Don't feel sorry for me. At me, whatever. I just want the hostilities gone. I'll take a truce. And Kate will forgive you in an instance, if you really need it. But Vicky...' A pause. 'She deserves your apology. She's the one you two really hurt, and hurt worst. Because me and Kate and the rest of us aren't your friend, but Victoria is.' Max finally pushes past the pair, who by now are growing both cold and dry. She picks the recently unused stall and starts getting herself situated. 'And one last thing. You know Vicky was going to see Nathan later today? Yeah, her and Katie. They're going to cut him out of their lives.' The water is turned on, but Max speaks up over the noise. 'I bet she could use some extra moral support for that too.'

Nothing else is volleyed her way but halfway through lathering her head, Max hears the bathroom door close.

That was sooooo badass!

Through sputtering water Max answers. 'Please don't.'

You smacked them down hard!

Max feels a headache coming on. 'I feel like I'm reliving the same moment again but, please, leave me alone.'

Come on. You know I/we know how you feel right now. We/I just want to let you know... very good. None of us/me were able to do that, before, without rewinding.

'Thank, but I still feel so... hyped up. I'm just...' Max stares at her hands.

Shaking. Don't worry, the adrenaline will fade soon enough.

'It's just I hate confrontation. I don't-'

-like rocking the boat.

'Stop it. Stop finishing my sentences.'

Of course.

Max finishes her head, wiping the sting of shampoo from her eyes. She applies conditioner and starts scrubbing the rest of herself.

'You know what I want to ask.'

You know you will get no answer.

'Can I... ask why?'

Hmm?

'Why so cryptic? Why do I never get any explanation?'

The silence stretches. She finishes, toweling and dressing. Brushing her teeth, rinsing, another thought pops into her head.

I/we can't tell you anymore than we/I do.

Frustrated, halfway through capping her toothpaste, Max gives it a squeeze. Minty fresh breath ends up all over the sink. 'I know! I get that! Why?'

Those times we/I help more, those voices go silent.

'Silent? Wha-'

A thunderbolt strikes her eyes.

The pain is overwhelming. On par, even worse, than the times Max truly pushed herself too far. Holding that moment too long in Kate's room. Fighting through the drug in the Dark Room. Saving Kate. Traveling to the double moon to warn Chloe. All those times were easier to take than this. She cannot think.

But if she could, Max would realize she normally passes out before now.

An indeterminate time later she finally opens her eyes. Her headache far from gone. Her fingers hurting from curling around the sink enamel. She has lockjaw from grinding her teeth.

Dripping from her chin, a small shower of red.

'what' A breath. 'what was that'

A click as the door latch releases.

Max tries to turn from the door, to hide the state of her face. There's blood all over the sink. She can't hide it. A gasp from the door, in stereo.

'Max! What-?'

It seems nothing else needs to be said. Juliet rushes to her side, gingerly but persistently trying to turn Max's face to her. Dana's head bobbles back and forth from Max to the sink, a pallor coloring her already fair skin.

'Are you hurt? Did someone- did someone hurt you?'

Max tries her best to stammer out a response but her jaw still hurts too much. Instead she shakes a negative, spots dancing and a ghost of pain flashing from the movement.

i better. just. sit.

She leans back next to the sinks, sliding down the tiles. Juliet follows her, the concern no less in her eyes. Dana, now decisively a little sickly looking, grabs Max's damp towel and tries to start wiping off the brunette's face.

just a minute. to rest.

Juliet continues to talk to her but only about one word in three makes any sense. At least until she mentions an ambulance to Dana.

'no'

Halting mid sentence. 'What, Max?'

'no ambulance. jules. just give me...'

'Max, really, you need... I don't know what you need. A doctor at least.'

'no'

A small whine issues from Dana from where she goes through Max's, Juliet's, and her own toiletries, trying to find anything to help. 'Max, you look like you just vamped out on someone.'

'no. i'm fine.' A steady hand, with minimal force, holds Max in place as she tries to stand. weak as a puppy. 'okay. not fine. but i will be.'

A pleading look crosses both girls' faces.

'just help me. clean up. and i'll be find.'

Traded looks between the best friends. they don't believe me. obviously. But they seem to accept it.

'Under one condition.'

'i tell you what happened.'

'Uh, yeah.'

The pair proceed to help Max into a more comfortable position. Neither let her stand. i don't think i can, yet. Juliet begins to wipe away the blood, gingerly at first. When Max doesn't flinch or shy away, she sets to it more methodically.

'so, uh. i had a nosebleed.'

A short bark of laughter escapes Dana, causing all three of them to jump just a bit. 'Figured out that much. But it looks so... bad.'

you have no idea. 'yeah. it doesn't happen a lot. this time was bad. really bad headache too.'

Juliet stands up to soak the towel, trying to wash out some of the blood. A lost battle. Coming back with the damp cloth, she sets task to Max's chin. 'You probably got a little lightheaded too, I bet.'

'yeah.'

Leaning back on her heals, the novice reporter surveys her handiwork with a frown. 'That's the best I'm going to get. You're going to want to brush your teeth. And really scrub hard. It's still... everywhere, really. At least you don't look like you tore out someone's throat anymore.' She goes to one of the sinks not splattered, looking at the towel. Turning to Max and giving a pained expression. 'You might want to just throw this away.'

'yeah, sure.'

'So.' Juliet starts deeply scrubbing her hand. 'How did it happen? Why?'

Max pauses for a moment. Already much of the pain is gone, though the dizziness remains. what can i really say? 'it's just something i have to live with.'

'But, like, have you seen a doctor or anything?'

pretty sure this one is going to be misdiagnosed. 'yeah. it's a nose problem. damage to my septum.'

Dana eyes her with a dark look. she's totally not buying this. Max raises her hand, to go back and try a better excuse.

'You ready to get up? You sure?'

what?

Warm, wet fingers grab Max's outstretched hand.

'Dana, get her other arm.'

why isn't it working?

As she stands, Max pours more of her will into her power. The wince it elects causes the other girls a moment of panic. 'Max! Are you-'

'fine. just fine.' A fake smile drops down. 'just some left over headache.'

Inside she panics.

nonononono. it's gone. just like with kate. too much. too hard.

A couple of short answers, just to make sure she won't fall, and the two girls take up position at the sinks on either side of Max. They start their own morning rituals, keeping watch on their charge.

Max barely notices as she finishes cleaning up.

too far. i asked fm too much and it came back at me. she shared too much?

Finishing with her face, she starts rinsing her mouth out. Anything to get the coppery taste out.

voices go silent? does that mean... what?

More mint in her nose. Max wants to gag.

if the future me tells me too much

Past the baggy eyes, Max inspects herself in the mirror

can i die?

Taking her ruined towel, she finishes cleaning the sink. Immediately trashing the towel, Max gives the two girls a weak smile as she heads to the door.

'Max?'

'yeah jules?'

'Call me. Later.' The blonde girl puts on a serious expression. 'I mean it. I want to know that you're okay.'

'sure. and thanks. a lot.' Max smiles again, much more earnest. 'i really owe you both big time.'

In the hallway she takes a moment to collect herself. That was so... fucked up. Turning the corner to head to her room Max immediately sees one of the two people she most certainly didn't want to see her this way.

Didn't even get to change my shirt.

Kate waits patiently just outside her own door, expectantly smiling towards the end of the hall. Hearing noise behind, she turns and beams that smile towards Max. Then the brunette's appearance registers, and a look of horror replaces it.

'Max!'

Two heartbeats and an arm encircles Max's waist. Saying nothing after making sure no obvious injuries appeared, Kate helps Max to the end of the hall, taking it upon herself to find the photographer's keys to open the door.

why the react- oh yeah. blood all over my shirt.

Leading her to the bed, the blonde girl searches Max's face and neck for anything she may have missed. Satisfied there is nothing she missed, Kate heads to the closet, pulling out a change of clothes. Max's favorite Jane Doe shirt lands beside her.

'What happened Max?'

Pulling off one shirt, Max forget's her modesty. Kate turns a beet red but refuses to look away. Concern wins out.

'i, uh. i'm not sure yet.'

The fear is thick. 'You d-don't know what happened?'

'no. i know... just let me figure out. how to explain.'

Max takes a breath. She unpacks what happened a bit more clearly in her mind.

'i was talking to future me. i kept asking her why she couldn't... couldn't tell me more. she said...' the fucking scary part. '...that when she says too much. a voice goes silent.'

Moving to sit next to Max, Kate shakes a bit. 'You can't talk to her anymore.'

'i don't think-'

'Max, just don't. Not this time.' A firmness enters Kate's words. 'Don't fight me one this, just trust me. Right now it's pretty obvious you're basically numb.'

'what do you...'

'Max, you haven't focused on me once yet. You still haven't put your shirt on. I've already seen you turn off like this a few times. It's... the PTSD we were talking about.'

yeah. she's right. 'you're right. but-'

'No buts.'

A small giggle. The first emotion Kate has seen on her friend's face.

'learn that one from vicky?'

A small giggle in response. Mostly from relief. 'Yeah. She told me you like that word.'

'figures.' Max meets big blue eyes. 'i'm getting better. thanks.'

'Cool.' Finally, the setting catches up with Kate. 'Do you think you should, um, put your shirt on?'

Another laugh, much more honest. 'sure thing katie.'

'Okay.' The worried friend reappears, toned down but persistent. 'Can you talk about it?'

'not yet.' A fear strikes Max. 'don't tell victoria yet. let me get my head on straight first. we have-' A glance at her clock '-over an hour before class. gimme a few minutes and i'll give you both the rundown. warren too.'

'Oh, okay Max. I'll just, uh, let you get ready.' Standing and smoothing her skirt, Kate grabs her bag and moves to leave. At the door she asks one last time. 'Sure you're okay?'

not really. 'not yet. i will be.'

The click is a finality Max does not need right now.

how the FUCK do i explain this?