A/N: ... Holidays. *Bows*
Do not adjust your monitors. I did update twice in as many days.
As a blanket statement, I don't own One Piece.
"Do you understand, Luffy?" Nami asked, sitting up in bed.
She mindfully kept her gaze away from Vivi. She hadn't wanted to share the paper with her for this exact reason- the princess worried enough about Alabasta and her mission. Knowing wouldn't make the ship sail any faster. Then again, the section Nami had hidden from her was already a couple days old, and Vivi would have found out eventually.
Didn't make the sight of her friend, collapsed on her knees in anguish over the article, any less unpleasant.
"I get the feeling it's really bad." Luffy said after a moment of serious consideration.
"Good," Nami said, pulling her covers back. "You understood more than I expected."
Honestly, she'd given about even odds that he'd slough off the news, or only be concerned on Vivi's behalf. At the very least, that he'd need to have things more explicitly explained to him before he took things seriously.
Nami rose to her feet. She'd suffered a simple dizzy spell, nothing more (she ignored the detail that she'd never had any dizzy spells), and she felt maybe a little warm. She didn't need to be put to bed over it, and she couldn't afford to rest anyway. Nobody else could really be trusted to steer.
"Nami, stay in bed," Usopp said. "You need a doctor."
"I'm fine, Usopp," she said without heat. She hoped no one noticed her leaning into the slight draft flowing into the room, hoping for some relief. "It's impossible to have a temperature of 104, anyway. The thermometer must be faulty."
"Nami," Usopp said, still insistent. "I'm the first to admit you're probably the smartest person here, but you can't just self-diagnose."
"It's all right," she said again, mustering up a smile for her boys as she made her way to the door. "Really. Thanks for worrying about me."
"Getting home isn't enough anymore," Vivi choked out through a throat clearly straining to hold back a sob. "I have to get there as soon as possible, or a million people could die in a senseless civil war!"
Nami made her exit then, letting the boys absorb the real severity of the situation.
Except Usopp followed right on her heel the whole time, hovering like he expected her to drop at any second. She ignored him.
"Oh, Kami," Nami moaned, seeing Zoro just sitting on the banister, curling weights in one hand. "They left you out here to maintain our course? Who the hell's been steering?!"
"What?" Zoro asked. His tone was gruff as ever, but the slant of his brow in his perpetual scowl softened when he looked at her. "I've been following that cloud," he said, pointing. "We're on track."
"Clouds aren't a navigational tool, dumbass!" Nami snapped, the heat she typically called up dampened by her dry throat and fatigued… everything. The breeze in her face felt anything but refreshing, and she took a breath. "Ugh. I can't deal with explaining this to you right now."
"Then don't," Zoro said. "Get some rest and let us handle it!"
"If there were any chance in hell we'd survive, I'd consider it!"
Nami perked up, despite the dizziness.
"The wind's changed. Something's coming." She said on a hot exhale.
"Wind?" Zoro parroted, frowning. "It's been clear and sunny since we set out."
"Never you mind, just get the others out here and have them turn us South. Usopp, you handle the whipstaff."
Gratifying, at least, that the swordsman still responded to her orders as promptly as he would have otherwise, even if she didn't feel up to yelling like usual. The sniper, on the other hand, pursed his mouth and didn't budge. When Nami turned to look at him squarely, trying to manage a glare, he averted his eyes to the floorboards and walked away. Like he felt guilty about something.
'What's up with him?'
"Nami-san, what's wrong with our heading?" Sanji asked as he came out.
"Wind," she rasped. She took a moment to steady herself, leaning on the railing. "There's a major wind up ahead. Dangerous."
With as much of a thoughtful look as an idiot could manage, Luffy closed his eyes and pressed his palm to Nami's forehead.
"Wha"
"Yow!" Luffy yanked his hand back, alarmed. "You're really hot! We gotta get you a doctor."
Did any of them know how to take a hint? Honestly, she appreciated the concern.
"This is my normal temperature," she bit back. Nami pointedly ignored whatever Usopp grumbled under his breath. "Quit being a moron and take up a rope!"
Like every other facet of her crew mates' extreme personalities, though, they pushed endearing straight over the line into exasperating.
Vivi helped Nami back to bed.
The princess had insisted that they expedite their arrival to Alabasta. And the best means of doing so would be restoring Nami to perfect health- the Going Merry sailed fastest with her navigator at her peak, after all. Thus, they would prioritize finding a doctor.
Nami herself had been fairly quick to admit she needed rest, though not before proving yet again her astounding intuition for weather patterns, even against the unpredictability of the Grand Line. Had they not turned South earlier when they did, the ship would have been swallowed by a spontaneous cyclone.
An intervening period saw Vivi taking over basic navigation, ensuring they maintained a consistent heading and didn't get turned around. The men responded to her orders with a quiet determination and efficiency.
"They'll work- they don't wanna die anymore than you do."
Vivi smiled, settling down near Nami's bed for the evening.
"They're pretty keen on protecting you too, Nami-san."
Zoro squinted into the middle distance from the crow's nest.
They'd been keeping a steady course due South for almost a full day, and the weather had taken a turn for the chilly. Snow came down and thinly blanketed the ship, though they hadn't run into anything near as extreme as the freak blizzards from a couple weeks ago.
"Hey," Zoro said, calling down to Luffy and Usopp. They were all watching for any sign of an island while the cook and Vivi kept an eye on Nami's condition. "Is someone standing on the water out there?"
He pulled out a pair of binoculars, checking again.
"What're you talking about, Zoro?" Luffy asked. "That's impossible."
"Running on water is difficult, but possible," Usopp said, almost idly at a mutter. "Standing? No."
"So," Zoro said, still looking through the lenses. "Who- or what- is that?"
Luffy turned toward the water. He quickly found who Zoro meant, staring dumbly at them. Usopp, by contrast, barely spared a glance.
"Weird checkered jester," the sniper said dismissively. "He's got a foothold."
Before Zoro could ask, the ocean around the weirdo swelled, and gave way to a massive half-dome that loomed over the Going Merry. It unfolded outward, revealing a huge pirate ship with a hippo masthead.
Zoro sighed.
"We don't have time for this."
Three minutes later, the cook came running up from Nami's quarters, making all the noise in the world. He paused once he stepped on deck.
"So," he said, lighting a cigarette. "What's going on out here?"
Zoro rolled his eyes.
"That ship attacked us." Luffy said, ever the go-to for stating the obvious.
"No shit," Usopp said, cutting and sarcastic. "I've yet to have a friendly gun barrel waved in my face and if you poke me with that it's going straight up your ass!"
The sniper snapped at a soldier who'd moved half a step toward him, apparently teasing the marksman. He quickly and hastily retreated into formation with his fellows. Small surprise, given Usopp's appearance at the moment- the sniper sported dark circles under his eyes on a normal day. After what Zoro suspected had been an entirely sleepless night, his eyes were also bloodshot, and combined with his irritated attitude, he looked a little evil.
"Right," Sanji said after a beat. "Figured something like that."
Heavy footfalls landing on the outer railing of the ship announced another new arrival.
A very hefty man, with a body resembling a rounded rhombus, a lower jaw like the bottom of a tin can, and clad in some kind of fur skin that looked like a hippo, chomped at a slab of meat on a dagger.
"Four of you? Can't be just four of you." He said, before biting off the blade of the dagger and chewing it along with the meat.
"Never mind. I've got a question."
Zoro grimaced at the display, and the big guy threw the rest of the dagger into his mouth. Even Luffy, who could, and did, eat things that were questionably edible for any reasonable human being, stuck out his tongue in distaste.
"We're trying to get to Drum Kingdom. Do you have an eternal pose or a log pose?"
"Nope," Sanji said flatly. "Never heard of any Drum Kingdom, either."
"Yeah, so buzz off!" Luffy yelled. "We're busy!"
"Tsk tsk, it's no good to rush through life. No log pose? We'll just take your ship and"
"Are you still here, you fat-ass sack of crap?" Usopp snapped, glowering at their uninvited guest. "Our Captain just told you we're in a hurry. We don't give a flying shit about you or your problems- piss off. And," Usopp narrowed his eyes. "If you take so much as one sliver out of Going Merry, I will fucking flay you alive."
A couple beats passed, all those present stunned by the sheer vitriol the sniper had dished out.
"Chess!" The 'fat-ass sack of crap' shouted back to his ship. "Write down this new law! All who insult me shall"
Lead Star!
Usopp fired off a shot, interrupting again. The fatty just opened his mouth and ate it, grinning smugly the whole time.
"Mahahaha! You stupid hippo!"
"That's Captain Wapol's Devil Fruit! You'll just be eaten if you oppose him!"
Zoro blinked. Something about the confidence of his men and Wapol's expression… didn't match up. He'd turned purple in the face, groaning with a hand on his considerable stomach.
"Urgh."
"Captain Wapol?"
His men sounded uncertain.
"I lied," Usopp said. "Dumbass."
Super Laxative Shot!
"Ooh." Zoro hissed through his teeth.
The swordsman watched Wapol's eyes bug out of his head in a rather spectacular face-fault. The enemy captain's stomach made a loud, wet gurgling noise, and sweat beaded down his face.
"Why is that a thing?! And why do you have it?!"
For once, Zoro had to grudgingly agree with the cook's sentiments.
"What's wrong with that guy?" Luffy asked, frowning, paying no mind to the agitated gunmen shoving their weapons in his face.
Zoro closed his eyes. He would never be in the mood to explain laxatives to Luffy, so instead, he pulled out his swords.
"All right," he said, addressing the now much-less-cocky soldiers around him. He easily weaved through those that managed to get a couple shots off. "You'll be leaving now."
"Hey, Captain," Usopp said, casually swatting away small fry with his hammer. "This fat-ass wants to eat our ship. Send him flying, please."
Luffy had barreled through Wapol's men before Usopp finished saying 'ship', both arms stretching out behind him.
"What's going on?" Zoro heard from behind him as he tossed men overboard.
"Ah, Vivi-chan. Is Nami-san all right?"
"You can't eat our ship, asshole!"
WHAM!
By sheer dumb luck, Luffy chose to strike Wapol in his face rather than his stomach. The odd captain sailed into the air, shrinking in the distance till he was just a speck in the clouds. His crew stopped gawking long enough to make some stupid, vague threats and they ran away after him.
Luffy huffed, picking up his hat.
"I…" Vivi said, looking around. "What just happened?"
"Nothing. Bunch of morons showed up," Zoro assured her. "No threat. Just noisy."
"I called dinner ten minutes ago, shitty rubber."
Sanji clicked his tongue at the way Luffy slumped into his seat at the table. Nonetheless, he got up to bring him a bowl. With the weather turning colder, the cook had opted for a filling broth- extra meat for all of Luffy's portions, a few more vegetables for Vivi, and a more basic rice soup that would, hopefully, be easier for Nami to stomach. He'd normally add fruit on the side, but he didn't want to pressure her or waste food.
Whatever minor irritation he'd felt for Luffy shifted into something else when A) his captain didn't react until after he'd been served and B) he didn't immediately assault his meal with his mouth. Sanji couldn't identify the feeling it brought on right away.
First thought,
'Who the fuck does he think he is, snubbing food?'
Second thought,
'Luffy doesn't snub food, period.'
Finally,
'Oh sweet merciful shit, it's contagious and we're doomed.'
Sanji chose horrified. Definitely horrified, because any illness deadly enough to even affect Luffy, let alone suppress his shitty appetite, practically guaranteed death for whoever else caught it.
Sanji watched, morbidly fascinated, as his captain picked up his spoon and lazily dragged it through the broth. With his face locked in a frown, he just regarded his dinner soberly before he set his utensil down and crossed his arms. Sanji recognized in his captain the sort of defiance typically reserved for a fight, and he realized Luffy was refusing food voluntarily rather than due to any physical ailment.
Less damning for the crew's immediate future.
Equally earth-shattering a concept, though.
"Is something wrong, Luffy-san?" Vivi asked.
"Not hungry." Luffy said simply.
Sanji counted himself lucky that he didn't have any food in his mouth- despite having seen it coming, just hearing those words from his bottomless pit of a captain would've driven him to a spit-take. Even Vivi, who hadn't known them as long, stared at Luffy, her eyes blown wide in disbelief and worry.
Zoro, the bastard, merely cast an aggravatingly understanding glance toward their captain and took another swig of his drink.
"Usopp said I need to eat, though," Luffy explained, voice low and quiet. "Cause I'm stronger when I'm full. But if I gotta eat, he does too."
Sanji knew an ultimatum when he heard one. He kicked himself for not thinking about the sniper sooner. True, they were all preoccupied and concerned about Nami, but he had a responsibility as the ship's cook to see that his nakama were fed and never hungry.
"I could bring some to him." Vivi offered.
"No," Sanji said, standing. He turned away from the others, face hot and feeling ashamed that he'd let any of his crew mates slip his mind. "I'll take care of it."
If he threw a little of the marksman's hot sauce into the broth as part of some token effort to make up for his oversight, no one could prove it.
"Where is the tengu?" Sanji asked, narrowing his eyes at his captain, trying to silently prompt him to start eating.
"I left him with Nami."
"Marimo," Sanji said on his way out. "Don't let him out of here till he's eaten."
"Whatever." Zoro grunted.
That was probably as close to agreement as he'd ever get out of the shitty swordsman.
Sanji vaulted over the banister outside the galley onto the lower deck, careful to keep the broth balanced in his hand. He kept his tread light on his way down into Nami's quarters in case the navigator had fallen asleep.
Usopp sat posted in her desk chair, pulled out to face the bed, posture canted forward and his hands over his knees.
"Hey," Sanji said quietly. "Dinner's ready. Brought it down here since your lazy ass wouldn't come up."
"Not hungry," Usopp said, echoing their captain. "Ate something a while ago."
Sanji frowned. Depending on how one defined 'a while', that was either an exaggeration or an outright lie. Among his skills as a cook, he knew how to keep a mental catalogue of their inventory, which he adjusted around every meal, snack or stop at an island. He didn't delude himself- his memory wasn't perfect or photographic, even for food, but he knew with absolute certainty that nothing had gone missing from the kitchen or pantry since he'd made lunch.
The cook chewed his cigarette a moment, shifting tactics.
"What's the story with our resident black hole?"
Usopp shrugged.
"Feeling depressed and powerless," he said, with such frank bluntness that even Sanji, who spent his adolescence in a restaurant staffed by crooks and bums, winced. "Finally met an opponent he can't beat with a punch."
"I see," Sanji said. And he did- for all that he could be an idiot, moved constantly by childish whims, Luffy's protective instincts ran deep. For someone who had once freely admitted to having no skill or talent beyond natural combat ability, watching his nakama suffer at the hands of disease must have been terrible. "What's your excuse?"
Usopp took such a long time answering that Sanji wondered if the sniper hadn't heard him. When he did speak, it came out as a whisper.
"My mom only got sick once in my life."
The way the sniper's knuckles turned white gripping his knees clued Sanji in to what the sniper didn't say.
'Ah.'
He knew. Almost immediately. Empathy followed, and expressing it would be just as simple, an admission of two words.
Instead, he hooked one foot around the front leg of Nami's chair and spun it ninety degrees to face her desk.
"S'gonna get cold."
A warning. A nudge. A simple reminder. Whatever it needed to be.
Sanji stepped back, pausing for half a beat.
"Luffy's worried about you, too," he said. Then, for good measure. "Shitty tengu."
The cook spared another look at Nami, resolving to bring her own food down later. Best to let her sleep. On his way out, he heard, just barely
"Thanks."
Nami shoved her quilt off her, brain deep in the fugue of fever, barely awake. She sat up, hating how heavy each breath came out, throat itching and dry. She wondered about the hour- other than a vague sense that it was dark outside, she had no idea. It had gotten appreciably colder since she'd last had the presence of mind to notice.
She felt like she was slowly being cooked from the inside out.
Out of habit, she moved to check the log pose on her wrist and found Vivi asleep at her bedside, pillowing her head on her arms at the edge of Nami's mattress.
A snore drew her attention to the rest of the room.
Carue lay on his side, bill wide open, back to back with Zoro. The swordsman had a blanket thrown across his legs and one arm, the other hand holding a scabbard that, even asleep, he used to prod an unconscious Sanji. The cook sat propped against her bookcase, head drooping down low enough for his chin to nearly touch his chest. One of his legs twitched every time Zoro poked him. The cook kept shoving back with his foot, rolling out of Zoro's reach. One of Luffy's legs, however, had somehow ended up wrapped around Sanji's elbow. The rubber boy lay otherwise spread eagle on the floor, the only one without a blanket, unaware that he kept pulling Sanji back into a scuffle with Zoro.
Even exhausted and painfully ill, Nami couldn't help smiling. She pulled the covers back up to her chin and rolled onto her side, the heat permeating through her body momentarily mitigated by a different kind of warmth.
'Idiots.'
"You've come to the wrong island. Turn back and leave. Now."
Zoro huffed a little through his nose. First time they actually got a fitting reception for pirates, and they couldn't even laugh about it. They'd gotten lucky, taking the stable cold weather as a good sign that eventually panned out.
Then, men with guns had come out on either side of the river they'd drifted in on, lining the cliffs around them.
The guy doing the talking definitely looked like he had the muscle to back up the implied 'or else' of his order. Zoro waited. They could- would, obviously, if need be- fight, but finding a doctor would only be that much harder if they made enemies of the locals. They didn't have the time to deal with that.
"We came here to find a doctor." Luffy said, expression void of anything except determination, his tone matter-of-fact.
"Please!" Vivi said, calling up to them. She adopted the role of liaison. "We've got a sick person aboard!"
"No tricks, no talking! Just leave, or get blown out of the water!"
Zoro kept his expression carefully neutral. He didn't appreciate threats against the ship, and he'd normally be all for a fight. Nami's life was at stake, though, and he knew better than to pretend he had much experience in the sort of diplomacy the situation required.
"They're so hostile, and we've only just met."
He'd leave idiotic comments up to the cook.
"Just go!"
Bang!
Sanji jerked his foot back. A bullet bore into the deck right where he'd been standing.
"Hey," Sanji said, low and angry. "You shitheads want a fight?"
The man who'd fired flinched. Zoro lay a hand over Wado's hilt, though he didn't draw his swords. He scowled up at the gunmen. While none of the crew had set foot on the island, Merry's border had officially been breached.
If Luffy gave the signal…
The same man cocked his gun again. Sanji made to step forward. Vivi intervened, throwing herself in front of him.
Boom!
Twang.
Zoro knew Vivi should have been hit. He heard the shot- for half a second, he thought Vivi did get hit. Except there wasn't any blood, no outcry, and she kept her feet, only tensing for a moment. After making a cursory check that she hadn't been injured, his brain registered that he'd heard a second sound.
He glanced back at Usopp. The marksman had kept his goggles on the whole morning- Zoro spared a halfway amusing thought that they were lucky he had. Going on two sleepless nights as of yesterday and downright waspish, the locals might've shot even sooner based solely on his appearance.
At the moment, the sniper almost made a show of having empty hands, though when Zoro raised an eyebrow at him, he turned his head toward the mountains on the island. Zoro didn't buy his unassuming act for a second.
Luffy growled. Having decided, not unreasonably, that there'd been one too many infractions against the Going Merry and her crew, he made to charge the cliff. Only Vivi's efforts kept him from attacking.
"Please, hear us out!" Vivi pleaded. She dropped to her knees, bowing down to those who'd almost shot her till her head touched the floorboards. "We won't set foot on your island! But please, please, can you send a doctor here? Our navigator could be dying!"
Luffy stared at her, taking in the display of humility by the royal princess they'd chosen to escort home. He didn't look quite shocked, just surprised, and frustrated. They all were.
Zoro waited.
"You're a failure as a captain, Luffy-san," Vivi said, reprimanding him even with her head down. "What will happen to Nami if you fight right now? You're in charge, you can't just act on your impulses without thinking when lives are at stake!"
Zoro didn't comment. He watched his Captain.
Luffy digested Vivi's scolding and squared his shoulders.
"You're right. I'm sorry."
He dropped down to the deck, mirroring Vivi.
"Please bring a doctor!"
Zoro shifted his gaze up to the cliffs. The man in charge regarded them for half a minute before he seemed to reach a decision, shouldering his weapon.
"All right. You may come ashore."
Zoro could practically feel tension bleeding out of his crew mates, even as the rest of the men on the cliffs made some protest. He let his hand fall away from his scabbards.
'I followed the right man.'