Chapter 52: The Truth About Remus Lupin

The remaining months of education for Severus' fourth year seemed like a breeze in comparison to the relentless months of 'keeping an eye' on one Regulus Black.

Day after day, he, James and Sirius took turns observing the Pettigrew Map in hopes of seeing that Regulus was doing what he was meant to be doing: going on lunch dates or long walks with Melody, attending his classes on time, hanging out with friends in the common room of Slytherin. But more often than not, they could see that he was lurking around the Gryffindor common room on the seventh floor.

"He's such a tenacious little twit!" grumbled Sirius.

"We can only thank Merlin he hasn't been doing this most nights, or he'd have made the same mistake we did," said James, shuddering slightly at the memory of his adventure in the Shrieking Shack.

Severus was rubbing his eyes tiredly. They were in the library, close to the dustier shelves not far from the Restricted Section. Sirius was telling James and he about what Regulus had been up to the previous day. It would be James' turn after this meeting was ended. But the taxing task of focusing on the Map rather than school was taking its toll on Severus. He was exhausted and although, he was still easily acing his homework and soon his exams, he was also losing time with Lily. He still could not tell her the truth about Remus. It wasn't his place to do so.

There was something else playing on his mind too. Something that he was amazed hadn't occurred to him before and he was now kicking himself for not realizing the possibility before: Boggart lessons in Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Murdoch hadn't brought up the subject matter due to the class being behind on basic defensive knowledge as Professor Reynolds was not entirely dedicated and Michigan was trying to keep them up to scratch within second year. Murdoch got them almost fully up to date except within the practical tests, but they mostly passed their exams. Nott only wanted to teach the students about Dark Magic and how to use it rather than defend against it. Robin was now giving them their practical classes meant for third years as well as the book form knowledge of fourth year, aiming to get them all caught up in time for OWL year.

"Such a mess," he muttered quite frequently.

Severus agreed. It was just as bad in his old life, though he personally worked beyond that of his peers and was an expert before fourth year in seventh year works. However, he was deeply afraid of the idea of facing a Boggart this time…because he knew what it would turn into: Lily's body, dead, broken, him crying and begging for forgiveness.

It would raise too many questions…everything could be revealed, and far too soon.

And the practical class was tomorrow.

James and Sirius were suddenly packing their bags, the Map in James', and ready to depart the library.

"Are you coming?" asked James.

"Uh, yeah, sure."

Severus was still afraid. What if the truth came out and he was incarcerated into either Azkaban or St Mungo's? What if James took his place…and Lily abandoned him again?

He desperately wanted to avoid the lesson. He even complained of stomach pains that night, but a concerned Quincey took it too seriously and took him to Madam Pomfrey earlier than he had planned. Inevitably, she told him all was well and gave him a basic pain-relieving potion to be on the safe side. As a result, Severus found himself low on options on how to avoid their upcoming and exciting Defence Against the Dark Arts class.

The following morning came and as the class was the first of the day, Severus grew more and more paranoid. He had no clue on how to escape the class. Before he knew it, he was in Robin's classroom, standing as far from the front as possible, which Lily and Quincey found odd as he was normally at the forefront of the class to pay as close attention as possible. It was well known that after Potions, Defence Against the Dark Arts was Severus' forte.

The room was full to the brim as Robin requested that for practicals, students from all Houses should attend.

"You okay?" asked Quincey, edging over to his best friend.

"No…"

"Are you still in pain?"

Severus wanted to say yes, but knew that Quincey looked doubtful about the theory as Pomfrey and Slughorn's potions rarely failed.

"No…I just…don't want to face that Boggart," he said honestly, glancing nervously at the rattling trunk next to Robin, whom was explaining the wand movements of Riddikulus.

Just as Severus heard the class follow the instructions and chant the incantation, he suddenly had a terrible thought and cast his eyes in Remus' direction.

Remus looked just as mortified as he did. He knew what his Boggart would be.

Almost as if on cue, Dumbledore suddenly entered the room.

"Excuse me, Professor Kennedy, but could I borrow Mr Lupin, please?"

"Yes, of course, Professor, though will Remus be back in time for the practical?"

"I fear not, but rest assured, he will be able to deal with a mere Boggart at a later date. I'll make sure of it," smiled Dumbledore pleasantly.

Severus looked anxiously at Dumbledore, pleading that he would take him away too, but the Headmaster simply took a very much relieved Remus away and closed the door behind him.

Severus was horrified and furious at the same time. The meddling old fool abandoned him to his fate again. He would lose everything and for what?

"Form a line, everyone," said Robin.

They all did so, Avery and Mulciber at the front, shoving people out of the way to go first.

Severus thought they were welcome to it. He made sure he stayed right at the back. Lily and Quincey followed his example, worried at how pale he looked.

"It'll be fine, Sev," whispered Lily consolingly.

Severus couldn't answer. This could be the last time he heard Lily speak to him with such compassion. Without thinking, he quickly grabbed her and kissed her. It could be the last time he ever did.

But if Lily was shocked by Severus' outgoing action, the rest of the students in their class were absolutely flabbergasted.

"Did Prince just kiss Evans?"

"Severus and Lily?"

"About time! Did you really never see the way they looked at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking? Ever?!"

Robin was silent and internally joyous at his stepson's newfound romance, but maintained pride. However, his thoughts were rudely interrupted by the pompous and disgusted voice of Mulciber.

"A Prince with a Mudblood! Apple doesn't rot far from the tree! Like mother, like son!"

The clear and piercing insult to his wife enraged Robin, but once again, he composed himself with restraint to cloud his personal emotions.

"Twenty points from Slytherin, Mulciber," he said severely.

Mulciber snarled in fury.

"Don't talk down on your superiors, Professor, uh, Kennedy!" he scoffed.

"Okay, young man, it's Plan B. Detention for a week!"

Mulciber kept his mouth shut after that. A week doing detention with a Mudblood professor would make almost any Slytherin miserable and compliant.

Severus and Lily didn't really bask in that little victory over one of their rivals as they were just happy to have their relationship accepted and even wanted by the remainder of the Houses, even the odd few Slytherins in attendance who had expressed mild interest in the Union.

Severus remained pale at the back of the queue though. Robin called attention back to the Boggart trial and everyone had formed the line. Mulciber, to Robin and Severus' enjoyment, looked pale to be first now that he was a few metres direct to the rattling and writhing trunk before him.

"Ready?" asked Robin as politely as possible.

Mulciber nodded defiantly.

Robin opened the trunk and Severus unconsciously backed up further until his back pressed against the wall at the far end of the room.

The boggart had taken the shape of a cold-hearted man, who was clicking his knuckles with closed fists. It advanced upon Mulciber maliciously.

"Riddikulus!" he stammered quickly.

The man slipped on a banana skin and landed upon the floor, legs kicking into the air and polka dot underwear visible under the robes.

Everybody laughed and Robin, however begrudgingly, praised Mulciber for his successful demonstration on how to tackle a Boggart.

Avery followed.

His Boggart seemed to be a Muggle lorry. Perhaps it was more than just his family's ideals that sparked his hatred of anything Muggle.

"Riddikulus!"

The lorry skidded in circles, faster and faster before it turned into a clown juggling several Bludgers.

Not as many people laughed at that until the Bludgers started bashing into the clown's face.

Avery exhaled but looked appalled at his worst fear being revealed to be a Muggle contraption.

Severus was getting more and more frightened of his upcoming experience with a Boggart. He knew full well it would show him the sight of Lily's twenty-one-year old body, broken, limp, dead…with looks of betrayal, accusation and disdain etched into her eyes as they stared blankly yet with purpose into his own.

"Lily, you next," said Robin.

Lily stepped nervously forward. Severus was keen to know what her Boggart was.

She brandished her wand with determination, though a slight tremor in her arm suggested her trepidation.

The Boggart reverted into the form of…Severus. But it wasn't the Severus she knew. It was not unlike the Severus of the old universe. He could see it within himself.

"You're nothing but a common, filthy, worthless Mudblood!" said the Boggart-Severus with poisonous sincerity.

It made both Lily and Severus shudder, the latter knowing he said something very similar and with equal poison many years ago.

"Concentrate, Lily!" encouraged Robin.

Lily raised her wand defiantly, but the Boggart spoke up again.

"I wish I never met you. My mouth is festering with your germs…you're a disgrace to the name of magic…you're better off to me dead!"

"RIDDIKULUS!" screamed Lily.

The spell was so strong that it didn't make the Boggart transform into something amusing, but it had in fact retreated forcibly into the trunk and the lid slammed shut upon it. A stunned moment later, it began to struggle inside once more.

"I…I think that will be all for today. Quincey, Severus, you may do your practical at a later date, similar to young Remus Lupin," said Robin hesitantly, "so class dismissed, except for you, Lily. I want a word."

Severus felt relieved that he didn't need to face his Boggart after all, but he didn't want to leave the classroom without Lily. The girl herself was rooted to the spot, her wand still aloft and her eyes staring fixed yet vacant. She almost had the look of someone who had been Petrified. And it was the shadow of his former self that caused it.

"Lily…"

"Severus, not now. Come on, you'll be late for Charms," insisted Robin.

Severus went on his way, once again resentful towards his stepfather.

Luckily, half an hour later, Lily entered Flitwick's classroom with a signed note from Robin explaining her absence and its reasons in a mild, undetailed manner. She sat next to her boyfriend as usual and without hesitation, but she still looked pale from her experience.

As Flitwick went over the motions of the Summoning Charm, Severus whispered to Lily, holding her hand gently.

"I promise you, Lily…I will never do anything like that. You mean everything to me…more than you'll ever know."

Lily sighed.

"I know, Sev…I just don't want to lose you, especially now that we're together. But I just fear that this stuff with Voldemort on the rise will ruin things for us. I'm scared that war will come and we'll lose everything. And I know that people like your father couldn't have given you the highest opinion of Muggles."

"You're right, Lily, he didn't. But then I met you and your family. Your parents make me feel so loved and welcome, even how full support for my dating their youngest daughter. And sure, Petunia and I had a rough start, but look at her now. And I support her just as she now supports us."

"Sev…"

"And it's not just them. Quincey's Muggle-born. I spent some time with his family. And they're a friendly family too. I understand that not all Muggles are like Tobias. I only have the deepest respect for those who deserve it and quite a few Muggles fit that category. More than the Pure-bloods around here."

"Well, except for James, Sirius and Frank, of course," said Lily quietly.

"I guess so."

Lily sensed his doubt.

"As close as you seem to be with James and Sirius now, you do seem to still bear a grudge against them. Makes me wonder why you bothered to save their lives."

"Maybe it's because I wanted you to believe I was the bigger man," suggested Severus.

"Perhaps…but I also hope you're a loyal man, mister."

"Oh, you have no idea how loyal I am, Lily Evans."

Lily smiled appreciatively and kissed her boyfriend, which led to a stern chastising from Flitwick.

"Back to the subject matter, please, Mr Prince and Miss Evans! I expected more concentration than this from you two of all students!"

The two of them sniggered behind their hands when Flitwick turned his back on them.

Regulus Black was sneaking out of the Slytherin Common Room. He was going to attempt once again to sneak and spy on Remus and expose whatever he was hiding and expose it to the Union. He was still unsure of how he would benefit from being part of the group, even though they had helped him and Melody many times. He felt that the price he had to pay had been too severe. He had lost his parents, his family…he was depressed to be disowned. Sirius had tried his best, but his comfort was next to hopeless. He was too full of himself to truly understand what his little brother was going through. Andromeda was being as sympathetic and welcoming as she could, but Regulus was sure that once her baby was born, she would have no time to comfort her cousin any better than Sirius could. He also knew that Sirius knew about Remus' secret as he was the most vitriolic when defending him from Regulus' pushes for information.

As he pondered, Regulus saw two figures he had been counting on seeing on the staircase above: Sirius and Remus.

"Any sign on the Map?" asked Remus.

"Not on this floor, but there is someone on the lower floor…Reg!"

Regulus was stunned. As their backs were to him as Sirius said his name, it seemed impossible that they could know he was watching them. But as his furious brother spun round, Regulus had no doubt that somehow, the two Gryffindors were on to him.

"Trying to catch us out on some ridiculous fantasy secret again?" snarled Sirius.

"If it's a fantasy in my Slytherin mind, what are you doing out here? It'll soon be curfew!"

"Remus doesn't feel well. I'm helping him to the Hospital Wing!"

"Ill again? And again and again. What are you hiding from the Union, Lupin?" sneered Regulus.

"You're not doing this for the Union," snapped Sirius, "you don't care as much about it as Mel does! You just want to prove to her that Remus, a Gryffindor, is some bad guy!"

"Your evidence to the contrary?" asked Regulus. "He attacked Prince the day he went mad…like some sort of beast!"

Remus paled considerably more than he had before. Sirius was looking both scared and exasperated.

"Just go back to the dungeons! As you said, it's almost curfew!"

With that, Sirius guided Remus past his brother and further along the corridors.

"Oh, and don't try and follow us, I'll know!" called Sirius without looking back.

Regulus fumed. He wanted to know what was going on.

He followed them anyway, but whenever he did, Sirius was pushing him back again.

"Will you piss off? I don't have time for this! Remus could throw up on me at any minute!"

"Sirius, I don't have time! Bye!"

Remus was suddenly running, or at least half-running. He looked like the slightest amount of strain or movement would make him collapse.

"Great!" snapped Sirius, and he snatched Regulus by the scruff of the neck. "Remus is sick, and you've likely made him feel worse! I'll just have to drag you back!"

And he did, all the way back to the dungeons.

"And sodding stay!"

Sirius took off but Regulus spun him round, causing something to fall from his brother's pocket, but he didn't pay attention to it.

"You're obviously hiding a secret for Lupin! Your determination to get rid of me only proves it! Tell me the truth!"

"You should be so lucky, Reg! Andie took you in, you escaped a life of slavery, you have a loving girlfriend. And how do you repay the Union that made it possible? By trying to destroy it by revealing some false accusations. You're an ungrateful little git! Typical of a Slytherin!"

Regulus felt stung and Sirius, knowing his brother had a harder time of it than he had when it came to the family, felt some remorse for his harsh words.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? But I just get extra protective of Remus because of what happened to him and especially after what happened to…Peter."

This was partly true, so Sirius didn't feel too guilty about using Peter as an excuse.

"I get that you are naturally suspicious of us Lions, but you don't need to be an enemy, Reg. Think of the past couple of years and decide who your true friends are."

He patted Regulus' shoulder, which was slightly trembling, and then walked off, likely back to the common room. After all, Remus must have reached Pomfrey for escort into the Shrieking Shack by now.

Regulus sighed deeply once his brother was out of both sight and earshot. He was taking in the words his brother had said to him, both the good and the bad. He was wondering if perhaps Sirius was telling the truth after all. Maybe Remus' illness was all in his head, or at least the secrecy behind it. Maybe Sirius was acting weird about it because he felt the need to protect his most vulnerable friend…perhaps he should just let the matter go. He would sleep better at night if he did, instead of obsessing over what a Gryffindor was hiding.

As he went to turn back to go to the common room, however, Regulus saw a piece of parchment on the floor and picked it up. This must have been what Sirius had just dropped from his pocket. He unfolded it out of curiosity to see what was written on it. No doubt a list of what Zonko's products to order by owl since there were no more Hogsmeade visits.

But what he saw instead shocked him, excited him and thoroughly annoyed him. It was a map. A map of Hogwarts. It must have taken quite a lot of hard spellwork to pull off such a masterpiece of what Muggles would call 'spy gadgets' and for once, Regulus found himself impressed with his brother.

Then he saw Sirius' dot, moving upstairs to the common room. He realized he could now find Remus and make sure he was going to the Hospital Wing and nothing more. But on the contrary, Remus was walking away from the Wing, but not alone. Pomfrey was with him, taking him to the ground floor of the castle.

Regulus was intrigued and quickly walked back to the ground floor too and silently watched Pomfrey escort Remus outside.

His curiosity peeking into exhilaration and anticipation, Regulus blindly did as his brother once did three years before. He was following Remus and Pomfrey towards the Whomping Willow, Pomfrey prodded the knot and whispered some words that Regulus couldn't hear before she headed back inside.

Regulus watched as Pomfrey walked past his current hiding place behind a beech tree and then he saw Remus go down a tunnel in the roots of the Willow.

This is what he was hiding, thought Regulus, and I'm going to find out once and for all what he's doing in there!

And once again, a blindly curious boy crawled into the tunnel after also prodding the knot and followed Remus Lupin into the Shrieking Shack.

Meanwhile, Sirius was making his way up to the Gryffindor common room. As he walked, he thought of how he could continue to deter Regulus from his endeavours regarding Remus, and of how to bond with him better. His brother needed him to keep him sane after the disowning handed to them both.

Then he heard a clang from the other end of the corridor, and he started instantly, his hand reaching for both his wand and the Pettigrew Map in his left pocket. His wand came to hand…but the Map wasn't there. He hesitated, navigated his other hand to his other pocket and fondled inside for the Map. Again, no luck.

Sirius paled and realized quickly what had happened. He must have dropped it whilst walking with Regulus. What if his brother picked it up? He had to hurry.

He ran straight back to the common room and knocked rapidly.

A moment later, a Slytherin girl who had been a successful acquirement to the Union answered.

"Hi there, Velma. Is Regulus in there?"

"No," replied the girl, "Melody is worried about him. We're considering reporting it to Slughorn."

Sirius never heard the end of the sentence.

He ran without hesitation out of the castle and into the grounds. If Regulus had the Map, he was bound to have seen Remus heading towards the Whomping Willow. He had to stop him. He knew that Remus was harmless, but if his brother discovered him, everything would come undone for his friend.

Reaching the Willow, Sirius stamped on the knot to freeze the pitiless branches and plunged without any delay into the secret passage.

"REGULUS!" he bellowed with fright and determined severity.

No reply followed.

"REEEEG!"

Sirius struggled through the tight tunnel before finally being able to walk up straight-backed in the dereliction of the Shrieking Shack.

"Reg!" he hissed more quietly, in case he startled Remus.

He heard no reply.

At last, he swallowed and exhaled heavily, before walking into the room that Remus would likely be curled up on a bed sleeping.

There stood, still, silent and terrified, was Regulus, his face as white as a sheet. Opposite him, almost trying to retreat into the wall and out of visibility, was a fully transformed Remus. He looked at Sirius with desperate horror and even in his current form, hurt.

Sirius understood why. Fallen at Regulus' feet was the Pettigrew Map. Regulus had finally learned the truth.

Sirius understood but he did not know what to do.

How will I ever get Remus or myself out of this?!

A/N: I am so sorry for this late update. And I'm sorry if it doesn't meet your highly anticipated expectations. Nevertheless, the story is updated, and you all know that I haven't abandoned the story! And I do not intend to either! Chapter 53 will hopefully be updated on this side of New Year. Thank you for waiting and for reading! Please review!