Chapter 55: The Friday Fiasco
The March sunshine was still low on the mountainous horizons of Scotland. The snows were still melting on the hills surrounding Hogwarts and the castle itself still showed some remaining sleets scattered in places along many a roof. The flowers were beginning to bud along the damp grasses of the grounds and the colours of Spring were brightening, shooing away the dimness and dullness of the winter's sleep of Nature.
Severus and Lily were walking back from Herbology with smiles and chuckles. They were chatting humorously about the mishaps of Mulciber and Avery, who had managed to get themselves stung and bitten by the Boiling Boysen Ivy that Sprout had brought as exhibitions of study for the class that day.
"The clawing! Mulciber scratching his arse was priceless!" cackled Lily.
"Did you see Avery crossing his legs, practically pleading to the Light that he didn't have to scratch his boll-?"
"Severus?"
Quincey approached Severus and handed him a letter.
"Professor Sprout wanted to give you this, but you and Lily left in too much of a hurry while she was helping Avery to the Hospital Wing. She asked me to give you this."
Quincey passed a sealed envelope to Severus who recognised Dumbledore's flourished handwriting.
"Thanks, mate…I'll take a look later. Maybe Robin wanted me to read some news on Mum and Nan in private. I'll read it after dinner."
"Cool, Severus. Anyway, meeting Mary at the library. See you two later?"
"Definitely," replied Lily, "I have to go there and do some DADA revision anyway. Doubt you need to do that, eh, Sev?"
"I should say not," replied her boyfriend cheekily.
The whole group had accepted that if anyone was the most skilled in Defence Against the Dark Arts, it was Severus. Everyone except James, of course. But they agreed to let their OWLs and NEWTs decide that eventually to save any arguments, which Severus would still be eager to oblige.
As Lily went with Quincey, Severus slipped off to the Ravenclaw Common Room to read Dumbledore's letter in peace and privacy.
Upon entering the common room, only Nora was there, and she was helping Elizabeth arrange another meeting of the Union.
"What do you think about Saturday morning, Severus?" she asked.
"I'll ask the others about it at dinner," replied Severus briefly as he went up to the dormitory.
The elusive Ravenclaw sat on his bed and opened the envelope. The contents were brief and clear as always.
Dear Mr Prince,
I have your usual timed for 7pm sharp after dinner on Friday night.
Yours,
Professor Dumbledore.
Severus nodded to himself approvingly and burnt the letter with a quick Incendio over the dormitory sink.
Later, he joined Lily, Quincey and Mary in the library to revise his Astronomy homework. The latter pair seemed to be more focused on one another than on their DADA revision, which had been upsetting Lily considerably until her own living distraction entered the room. The two couples were hounded after a time by Madam Pince for not burying their noses in their respective books and disturbing herself and the other students.
Eventually, they went off for lunch and then to their remaining classes.
Severus, Quincey and Mary worked well together in all of their lessons, and whenever they shared a class with Lily, they paired into their romantic couples, though McGonagall and Robin caught on to their distracted natures when together and insisted that they pair with the same gender. It worked in Severus and Quincey's cases. However, Lily and Mary only continued acting distracted by talking to one another about their partners' quirks and skills and looks. The two boys were none too pleased about that but left them to it for the majority of the time.
The remaining days of the week came and went, all as mundanely monotonous as the previous lessons. Even with the exams so close, Severus and Lily didn't feel too concerned about them. They were both confident, possibly over-confident, that they would pass easily. On the other hand, Quincey, Mary, James and several other students were facing difficulties and were beginning to feel overwhelmed with stress.
Friday's lessons ended and the Union had fully agreed to have their meeting the following evening at dinner by then. Regulus was the only one unwilling to attend. Sirius tried all he could to reconcile him and Melody, as well as persuade his brother to attend the meetings, but it was simply not happening. Melody was too stubborn and hurt, and Regulus remained convinced that he was set up to die.
No amount of reassurances and attempts at reconciliation were having any effect and Regulus spent the whole meeting sat away from the group that the teachers were proudly watching over. However, like the staff, Regulus never took his eyes off the group, but only because Melody was sat with them and she was ignoring him as though he didn't exist.
Severus was feeling more and more nervous about Regulus. He feared he was doomed to take his place as the martyr who died unloved. He couldn't afford to let that happen and intended to ask Dumbledore and Lily Potter for advice that same evening.
After dinner, Severus slipped away as usual and went off to see Dumbledore in his office. He was so busy thinking of Regulus, he didn't really register how far he had gone, even after speaking the password and stepping onto the gargoyle steps. It was when Dumbledore's routine word of welcome, "Enter" came out that Severus fully processed that he had reached his source for help.
"You seem distracted, Severus," said Dumbledore reflectively.
"I'm just concerned about Regulus," replied Severus, getting to the point, "he's not been getting involved in our meeting ever since what happened and his relationship with Melody Royale has fallen into nothing. I'm just…"
"Yes?"
"Just afraid that he will end up like…"
"Like yourself?" asked Dumbledore in an urging way.
"Yes, like me. I will not let that happen on my watch…I just don't know how to resolve it. Both he and Melody are stubborn as mules, and he believes that he was set up just for being a Slytherin."
"You and I both know that is not the case, but I understand your concern, Severus. And after seeing your memories, I would not wish your old life upon anyone else, though it undeniably has to be said that your sufferings saved countless lives. But with your help, it will hopefully not be necessary for Mr Black to suffer the same hardships."
"But what can I, we in the Union, do about it?" asked Severus impatiently.
"That, you might have to find out yourself, Severus. What would you have wanted done to save you from your mistakes back in your original Hogwarts years?"
Severus pondered. Dumbledore simply smiled.
"Perhaps your friends from a higher place can shed some insight on the subject," he suggested, placing the Stone on the table as usual.
"Thank you, Headmaster," said Severus plainly.
Dumbledore smiled once more and stepped away. Fawkes remained perched on his pedestal, gazing at Severus intently.
Severus ignored the phoenix and turned the Stone thrice in hand. Lily Potter appeared on her own, looking pleased to see him, though there was a hint of sadness in her eyes betraying her true emotions.
"Hey, Sev," she said, her voice also letting her façade down.
"You're as transparent as your current appearance, Lils," said Severus in an attempt of humour, "what's bothering you in Heaven of all places?"
"Oh, it's just…Tuney died," replied Lily mournfully.
"And your reunion with her upsets you?"
Severus knew that it was highly unlikely that the Petunia of his old universe was far from likely to be welcoming. Even Heaven didn't quell his depressed spirit until he was given his second chance. Those stories about cleansed souls had clearly been exaggerated by Muggle culture and ancestry, lost in millennia.
"She doesn't want to know me, she's estranged herself from our entire family," explained the inconsolable Lily.
Severus was fuming.
"Once a jealous Muggle, always a jealous Muggle," he sneered.
"Apart from the Muggle part, that could have been said of you, Sev, to be fair!" replied Lily a little harshly.
Those words stung Severus. Not because of the tone in Lily's voice, however justified, but because he felt the truth in the words.
"You still are, actually," said Lily thoughtfully.
"What?"
"Well, I honestly don't think that you've come to terms with the fact that I am with James. I know that you have this new Lily to find love with, but I know that your strained friendship with the new James is down to the fact that you still can't accept that I chose him over you."
Lily did not mean to be cruel, but she was so busy thinking of her own issues with Petunia, that she was not thinking of just how badly her words were affecting her best friend.
"I can't believe you'd say that to me," said Severus quietly.
"Sometimes things have to be said," replied Lily, "you're still running a risk of losing your second chance."
"What could I possibly do better?" asked Severus coldly.
"Your friendships with James and Sirius. Your constant insecurities over Lily. You may not show them, but even after you got together, I know the fear of losing her too plagues your mind day and night!"
"Can you blame me?!"
"Yes, I can!"
"You were my best friend! The girl I loved! The only person I had ever loved, and I lost you! How can I not feel insecure at going through that again?"
"By believing in yourself and stop being so negative all the time! Nothing ever goes right with you! Even your stepfather being a teacher pisses you off!"
"He's supposed to be at home, looking after Mum!" retorted Severus.
"Clearly, he and she feel that she can take care of herself!"
"What if she can't?" whispered Severus weakly.
Lily looked at him with a frown.
"She spent all of her old life regretting the loss of her parents," murmured Severus, "and she just got them back at last…only for the monsters that I once was a part of to take Grandad away from her again. And Nanny is deteriorating despite Mum's best efforts to look after her. If Nanny dies and Mum is left alone without Robin's comfort…I just don't think she will last long."
"This is just your negativity again, Sev," replied Lily with a little more sympathy, "you need to show more faith. You didn't have that or hope in your last lifetime and look where that got you."
"It got me a hell of a lot further in terms of not getting hurt any more than I already was. I didn't make good friends with people, because I knew, I've always known since the day I lost you forever, that I would die alone…unloved…unwanted…"
"You couldn't be more wrong if you tried!" snapped Lily. "You have no idea how much your sacrifice has had an influence on all of the Wizarding World back home! You are honoured, remembered, loved! Even Harry's second son is named after you and he is absolutely entranced by your story!"
"They don't matter anymore!" cried Severus in anguish. "All I care about is-!"
"Don't say it, Severus! You only care about me or this other me! Well, I don't care that you care! Yes, you never got to be with me! Yes, you lost me! Yes, you made terrible mistakes! But you need to embrace the second chance we gave you! And! You know what? You should be grateful that you ever got that chance! I could have let you be reincarnated! I could have ignored Albus and said 'No, he doesn't deserve to go back and be with a carbon copy of me!' But no! I chose to grant you another chance through my testimony to the Higher Ones! And you should consider yourself lucky that Regulus Black is making the same mistakes you made because the way you're going, you're gonna lose the new Lily anyway! Because you're just a-a-a COWARD!"
Severus froze and Lily realized instantly that her pent-up frustrations over Petunia and her friend's struggles, as well as her own secret guilt pushed her too far. In that instant, she knew what Severus had felt just before he had called her Mudblood on that fatal day when they had been divided for so long. She had to put it right before he dropped the Stone. He needed her to give him news on the Horcruxes. And she needed her best friend.
Severus was dazed and broken. He finally understood how Lily felt when he called her that unforgivable word. But he also understood that it was not easily forgiven. He felt no inclination to let this go. Angry at him or not, frustrated with Petunia (damn the woman) or not, there was no justification for what she had just called him, and after everything he had done for her, showing everyone his bravery and determination to right the wrongs of the past…and it still wasn't good enough.
"Sev…I-"
"Save it. I understand. Nothing I do will ever be good enough for the great Lily Potter. But then again, you became a Potter. Lily Evans died the moment you married. Potters are never satisfied. Not until I am buried deep into the dirt and stick in it."
"No, Sev, it isn't that! You gotta believe-"
"You should never have given me another chance, Lily!" shouted Severus. "I'm cursed! I will never save everyone! The Longbottoms will go mad, Regulus will become me! Lily will love someone else, if not Potter, then someone else! And I will end up alone…maybe not long after Mum and Nan! After all, it would be the easiest way out…for a coward such as myself!"
"Severus, I never meant-"
"To call me a coward?" asked Severus in an almost sadistic manner. "But you and your precious husband called people who were branded the Dark Mark cowards all the time! Why should I be any different? You don't love me! You barely even appreciated our friendship! Not until it was too late for both of us!"
"You didn't either! You called me a Mudblood!"
"Because you found what was happening to me funny! Because you were already leaning towards what everyone else said about me! You even said yourself that all along, you would have broken my heart! Well, I'm done with it! I'm done with all of it! You chose your husband and fate! And now that you've dumped me on this replica world, you can leave me to choose my fate! Goodbye, Lily Potter!"
He spoke the married name in the deepest disgust that made Lily cringe in shame. Before she could process why she was ashamed, she disappeared back into Heaven.
Severus had released the Stone.
The redhead broke down into tears of despair. She had lost her best friend again.
The former Potions Master broke down at the desk. Fawkes began to sing a song of comfort that warmed his soul. He wasn't going to do anything stupid like he had threatened. But he knew what he had done, and there was no going back. He had lost his best friend again.
Meanwhile, in Heaven elsewhere, Helena Ravenclaw was stubbornly sticking to her task of spying on the Lestrange family in Severus' new world. This concerned her mother and lover deeply as they felt it was becoming an obsession. Unknown to them, Helena saw her mission in ensuring Voldemort fell in this world by locating at least one Horcrux other than her mother's cursed diadem as a penance and chance of redemption.
And tonight, her efforts would be rewarded.
Bellatrix and Rodolphus were the proud hosts of Lord Voldemort, who looked more demented with little humanity as before. He smiled approvingly yet icily at his two lieutenants, particularly the wife.
"You two did very well in our Hogsmeade raid, and I believe it was you, Bellatrix, who killed that backsliding wretch of a Blood traitor, Septimus Prince?"
"Yes, my Lord! It was I who disposed of that worthless piece of dirt for you, my Lord!" snivelled Bellatrix in hopeless worship.
"You did well, my child," said Voldemort, "and you deserve a fitting reward for your loyalty to me and the cause. Which is why I am presenting you with the great honour of becoming the guardian of this object so dear to me."
"Oh, we are honoured, my Lord!" shrilled Bellatrix, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.
Rodolphus simply said, "An honour, my Lord," in a dim sort of way.
"Here it is," said Voldemort, producing an object from his robes.
Helena and the Lestranges stared keenly, for different reasons, at the shining gold cup of Hufflepuff with the badger emblem imprinted upon it. Its beauty was only equalled by the dark aura surrounding it that only Bellatrix seemed to notice, whereas her husband was too moronic to see anything beyond a shiny trinket. This dark energy made her very excited and made her understand fully that it was indeed extremely important to her master.
"This must be protected to the extremes of your magical abilities, Bellatrix and Rodolphus. Do not let me down."
There was an evil warning tone to Voldemort's voice in that final sentence. Nagini made her presence known by swirling from out of his robes and hissing menacingly at his Death Eaters.
"We shall not fail you, my Lord," vowed Bellatrix.
Helena finally pulled away from the vision and grinned.
"Success at last!"
She hurriedly went to inform Lily and Ariana. She couldn't have known what would await her at the Potter residence: a heaving and tear-stricken Lily suffering at the loss of her dearest friend once more.
A/N: Here is Chapter 55, precisely a month after the last chapter. Apologies for the wait. I hope my readers continue to enjoy it. What do you think awaits Severus next time? Chapter 56 is coming soon! Please review! And thank you for reading!