Inside
Alec breathes in peacefully, fully aware of the happily contented smile currently on his face.
But it's not like there is anyone here to see him grin sappily at seemingly nothing, considering that the only other person around – who also happens to be the focus of all of Alec's attention right now as well as the very reason for his smile in the first place – is also still very much asleep.
Because last night - for the first time since they've known each other - Alec actually got to sleep in Magnus' bed.
Last night, after Alec finally managed to find steady ground under his feet again - after Magnus had given him all the time Alec needed to make sense of things again – and Alec finally felt like himself again, Magnus just ordered take-out and they had a quiet dinner on the balcony, sitting close, but mostly spending the meal in comfortable silence only interspersed with some random conversation here and there. Alec had been grateful for it, having effectively talked himself out earlier.
And then afterwards, Magnus asked him not-quite-casually whether he'd like to sleep over. Or rather, Magnus asked whether Alec wanted to stay the night and whether he would like to sleep with Magnus - as in, sleep in Magnus' bed - tonight.
Something which Alec somehow hadn't done so far. The only other two times he had stayed over at Magnus' loft before, Alec had just fallen asleep on the couch at one point during the night, always so very exhausted from recent events, the countless missions, the various upheavals in his personal life.
And just the thought of getting to fall asleep next to Magnus immediately had warmth creeping through Alec, which is nothing to say of the relief at just getting to stay here – here, where Alec is comfortable and relaxed, where there are no duties waiting for him, no one to make additional demands of him, where he can just be himself – feeling almost like a physical weight lifting off his shoulders.
So, Alec had agreed to Magnus' offer before the decision even fully registered in his mind.
And Magnus just smiled, leaned in for a quick kiss and then went to find Alec some clothes to sleep in.
Getting ready for bed was surprisingly non-awkward, the two of them just moving around each other fluidly, despite the slight nerves on Alec's end just simply due to this definitely being something new for him.
Not that there had been any reason to.
Quite honestly, last night Alec hadn't even really considered the implications of sleeping over, of sleeping in Magnus' bed, too emotionally and mentally wrung out from the day to think further than being happy about the warmth and comfort of getting to stay here instead of having to make his way back to the Institute, risk running into his parents once there and then having to go to sleep alone in his bed while wishing he was back at Magnus' loft.
And clearly, Magnus' offer hadn't been intended as anything beyond simply sleeping either. Because once they had both settled in bed, Magnus just leaned over to press a warm kiss goodnight to Alec's lips and Alec only remembers smiling in reaction, turning slightly to find a comfortable position and then he had been out like a light pretty much as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He must have slept for several hours straight – something that is definitely not a given for him – because when he finally woke again just a few minutes ago, the slivers of sunlight creeping through the curtains show that it is clearly morning already.
It took him about a second or two to remember where he is, remember whose bed he is in. His memory very much helped along by the sight of a still sleeping, warm and so soft-looking Magnus lying next to him.
Magnus is asleep on his stomach, face turned towards Alec on his pillow and Alec had woken pretty much mirroring his position, lying close and with one of his arms curled slightly over Magnus' back.
And Alec hasn't moved an inch since he woke, in no way willing to risk waking Magnus, far too taken by just lying so close and being able to observe every detail of Magnus' face.
And despite them truly just having slept next to each other, this still feels significant somehow. The trust of sleeping next to each other, of letting yourself be vulnerable, in combination with Alec fully letting his guard down in front of Magnus yesterday, somehow feels like they've taken a rather significant step in their relationship.
Alec has never made himself vulnerable in front of another person before in his entire life. It's something he very much deliberately avoids doing, never willing to let anyone truly see beyond all of his masks, to truly let his guard down.
But his almost subconscious decision to do so yesterday with Magnus - to come here whilst knowing full well that he was already somewhat falling apart - surprises him just as much as it simply doesn't.
Because it's Magnus. Who else would Alec be willing to let his guard down around?
And something about waking up next to Magnus now, to see him vulnerable in an entirely new way and getting to watch the warlock slowly coming awake as well, that warm, unguarded, sleepy half-smile on Magnus' face when he finally blinks his eyes open and sees Alec watching him, and the lazy good morning kiss, just a warm press of lips against his…
Alec doesn't even know how to really describe it.
It's warm and perfect and quiet, almost serene. Just the two of them, so comfortably, contently relaxed, like these few moments are just for them, just a few moments where the rest of the world doesn't quite matter.
He watches as Magnus turns slightly onto his side to face him, before reaching out to lay one hand against the side of Alec's face, thumb stroking along his cheek bone, and then moves to lean across the small distance between them to press a gentle, unhurried good morning kiss somewhat off center to Alec's lips, before he pulls away again, wearing a small but so tender smile, blinking at Alec with still somewhat sleepy eyes, looking so soft and sleep warm and unguarded, that it feels like something is quite literally tugging at Alec's heart.
And it's in that very moment, as he watches Magnus watching him - their eyes locked, neither of them really moving, unwilling to risk disrupting this peaceful and tender and simply happy moment between them – when Alec realizes almost absently that he must have somehow missed the point in time where he started truly falling in love with Magnus Bane. Because he might honestly be halfway there already.
And maybe that thought should give him pause, maybe Alec should balk at the realization that he is well on his way to falling for someone he only met a few weeks ago, a Downworlder, someone who by definition supposedly doesn't fit into his life at all. Maybe Alec should panic. But he just doesn't.
Because everything Alec feels, he also sees mirrored in Magnus' eyes.
Magnus smiles and Alec's chest feels a little too small for the warm happiness that keeps curling through him every time he breathes.
It feels right. Feels like this is exactly how things are supposed to be.
Magnus is currently leaning over the autopsy table, examining the corpse of the creature that attacked Luke at the Jade Wolf as best he can with his magic.
He knows that Isabelle is hovering somewhere behind him as well, having requested Magnus' help and now impatient for him to finish his magical scans so she can finally get started with her own examination.
Magnus had easily agreed to her request, not only because he honestly wanted to do his own scan of the corpse but also because he is kind of hoping to be able to see Alexander while he is here. Because they haven't been able to see each other in the past two days – not since Alexander stayed the night after finding out about his parents having been in the Circle – and as ridiculous as it may seem, but Magnus kind of misses him already.
And speaking of family drama, Magnus throws a glance at the rather fidgety Isabelle, now hovering at his side.
He suspects that there might be another reason for her having called him in for help right away. Because Alexander told him about letting his sister in on them officially being an item now, so Magnus is kind of expecting there to be some sort of interrogation waiting for him at some point during this.
His thoughts are confirmed only moments later, when Isabelle clearly can't keep silent any longer and steps up to the autopsy table next to him.
"So," she asks faux-casually, pretending to poke at the corpse in front of them, but her entire attention clearly focused on Magnus. "You and my brother?"
Magnus just quirks a half-grin, still leaning over the corpse as he replies rather vaguely, "Indeed."
She glances at him exasperatedly, clearly not very amused by his one-word answer. "So, how long has this been going on?" she asks, her face remaining mostly neutral but her voice gives her eagerness away.
She sounds so endearingly excited - clearly hoping to get some details about his and Alexander's relationship out of him - that Magnus just can't help but grin at her. Honestly, what is it with this generation of oddly endearing Lightwoods?
Still, it's not like he is actually going to give her what she is clearly after. It will always be up to Alexander to decide how much his friends and family know about his personal life.
So, he just raises an eyebrow, not even fully looking away from his spell's read-out. "Well, I'm sure Alexander told you it's only been official for about five days now." He actually knows full well that Alexander already told her about this.
"Hm." Her stare boring into the side of his face is really rather intent. "That's what Alec said as well." She actually sounds thoughtful, as though their stories matching is somehow food for thought.
Honestly, Shadowhunters and their ever-constant need for mystery solving, only getting suspicious if they can't find any secrets to uncover.
So, Magnus affects a rather over the top relieved sigh, "Oh thank magic, I was so worried one of us might slip up and actually tell you the truth."
She blinks and then she lets out a surprised laugh. He grins back at her, before he focuses back on the corpse in front of him, switching up his detection spell. Because there is something off about this body, but for some reason he can't quite pick out just what that might be.
They continue to work in silence for a while. And it's clear she wants to ask or say something else, but seems unsure how to actually say it.
Thankfully, she seems disinclined to try giving him an actual shovel talk. Magnus honestly just never understood what those are for – in his mind it simply goes without saying that he would be hunted down by pretty much every Shadowhunter in the city if he were to deliberately hurt who they so clearly see as their leader, something which would only be doubly true for Alexander's siblings – and the included threats just tend to leave him feeling either annoyed, awkward or near laughter depending on how they are delivered.
So, he is grateful when she skips right past that and instead finally settles on, "So, you two are serious?"
Well, there is something almost like a warning in her voice but it sounds less like the you-hurt-him-I-hurt-you sort and more along the lines of please-be-careful-lest-you-hurt-him. And someone being worried about Alec and his happiness is something Magnus will always approve of.
So, he finally straightens and turns slightly to looks her straight in the eye. "Very much so," he confirms seriously, holding her gaze.
Only a bare second of pause, her eyes intent on his, before she finally nods in acceptance, quriking a slight smile. Magnus just smiles back, happy to have reassured there and then they fall back into working alongside each other silently for another few minutes.
When Isabelle speaks up next, her voice is a little more hesitant than before, almost giving him pause. "You know, you are only his second serious relationship, right? His first relationship with a man?"
Magnus is back to leaning over the corpse, so he doesn't worry about her seeing his slight surprise at this claim. Because as far as Magnus knows, he is actually Alexander's first serious relationship. His first relationship, period.
And since he is absolutely certain that Alexander wouldn't have lied to him – his Shadowhunter is far too straightforward for that sort of thing - he refrains from replying to her statement verbally, just humming in vague assent to her question.
Isabelle sighs after a brief pause of her clearly waiting for him to say something more. "Well, only the second one he has told me about," she finally admits with a somewhat exasperated huff. "Honestly, Alec is just so reticent about these sorts of things. I always have to needle every piece of information out of him."
Magnus just throws her a quick commiserating grin at that, even as he finally moves aside making room for Isabelle to fully start working on the corpse. She is certainly right about her brother having a tendency to act out the part of the strong-and-mainly-silent type. And, oh, does Alexander do it ever so well.
Although, what she just said also makes it sound like that first supposed relationship Izzy 'knows' about might have just been Alexander's attempt to get her - and her needling - off his back. Which seems a rather reasonable thing to do for someone who would have been trying to hide not only his sexuality but also his overall inexperience from everyone around him.
Still, Magnus doesn't say anything. There is no way he is going to risk giving away any of Alexander's secrets to anyone, not even to his sister.
Although, she is now throwing him rather suspicious glances, possibly suspecting that he knows more than he lets on and possibly considering whether she might have more success at nagging the information out of him than out of her so reticent brother.
And having absolutely no interest in sticking around for that, Magnus promptly announces that he'll be bringing the preliminary results upstairs, already halfway on his way out the door with a wave, folder in hand.
'Upstairs' just meaning 'wherever I can find Alexander' in his mind, because that's all he really cares about right now. Magnus just wants to see his boyfriend, even if only for a few minutes.
And as he makes his way through the Institute's halls towards the Ops center, figuring someone there will be able to tell him where he can find Alexander, Magnus feels a rather broad smile spread over his face at that thought.
Because that's another thing.
Boyfriend. He's never been a 'boyfriend' before.
Sure, he's had relationships, has loved so often his heart doesn't quite like to remember the countless instances of seemingly inevitable heartbreak anymore. Over the years, decades, centuries, Magnus has had lovers and partners and paramours, has been absolutely devoted to some of them. He's been a companion, an admirer, an escort, a suitor, a sweetheart, has been called dearest or honey or even beloved, has been given countless pet names and been called by so many different affectionate terms over the course of his many relationships that he has long since lost track.
But never boyfriend. Not until now. That one is definitely a first.
Of course that's mostly due to the fact that the term itself is relatively new, hadn't really been around - at least not in this particular context - when Magnus had last been dating seriously more than a hundred years ago.
But Magnus honestly quite likes it, for more than one reason.
For one, he actually likes the term, likes what it signifies, as in a definite, committed relationship but not quite in that finalized, ultimate way yet, definitely implying a stronger bond than suitor or admirer, but not quite on the level of partner or beloved yet. To Magnus it just conveys that there is still room for change, for progression between them. That their relationship can become even more if they let it.
And secondly, Magnus also really likes being able to call Alexander something he has never called anyone else, just as he definitely quite enjoys the fact that Alexander has never had someone to call boyfriend before either.
Yes, Magnus most certainly likes that.
It's just… Magnus just knows that Alexander is different somehow. Different from everyone else Magnus has had in his life, different from every relationship he's had before.
He has certainly never found himself falling so hard, so quickly – irreversibly, unavoidably, helplessly – for someone and it seems simply fitting that Alexander would get his very own title in Magnus' mind and in his heart. A title shared by no one else.
Magnus can't help but smile to himself at that thought, at the thought that whatever he has with Alexander already feeling like so much more than it's supposed to at this point and just what that might mean for their future.
The future.
Because that's apparently something he thinks about in relation to Alexander, despite only having known him for less than two months at this point. And Magnus just shrugs internally. It's not like this is in any way news to him.
Alec's muscles are burning in the best way, physical exhaustion heavy in his limbs, but he continues going, another swing, two quick punches, weave to the side, another punch, a powerful hook from the right, spin to the left, repeat.
The entire training area is empty save for him.
As soon as Alec had stalked into the training room, a dark scowl on his face, frustration almost palpable in the air around him, everyone else had pretty much fled the area, too afraid he might order them to serve as his sparring partner right now.
Alec knows he has a reputation. And while Shadowhunters might generally be always up for some sparring, no one at the Institute is stupid enough to want to train with him while he is in a mood.
He has a tendency to put people through their paces even when he is just in it for the training, but in his current mood any sparring session can go on for hours on end until he finally decides he is done. And spare the fool who tries to tell him that they want a break at any point. Because he'll have no problem giving them that break, only to promptly assign that person endless training hours for the coming weeks to 'get them back in shape'.
So, yeah. Everyone had taken one look at him and then promptly scrambled to gather their gear, babbling about a mission or something they just had to get done right now and within moments Alec had the entire area to himself.
Which is fine by him.
He is annoyed and frustrated and his head is too full and he just needs a chance to sort through some of the things circling through his mind. And nothing clears his head better than the physical exertion of putting everything he has into his training.
So, he trains, letting his mind drift as he does.
Things at the Institute have gotten truly hectic over the last few days.
First, there is Lydia whose very presence here says some really not so great things about the standing of the Lightwood name in Idris. And while Alec honestly likes her, likes her attitude and her absolute perfectionist approach to her job, his parents are apparently too proud, too stubborn, too offended to do their job and work with her. Which has thus fallen to Alec instead, only adding to the already insurmountable pile of tasks in front of him.
Then there is the not-so-insignificant fact that Clary's overly chatty mundane friend was apparently bitten by a vampire at some point, a clear breach of the Accords. And while Alec had believed the vampire who brought the no-longer-quite-mundane's body to the Institute about this being the fault of just a single vampire going rogue, there is no telling yet how that particular mess will work out. And if this turns out not to be an isolated incident, if the Clave gets involved due to the breach of the Accords…
Just the thought of possibly having a war with one of New York's strongest vampire covens on their hands in addition to Valentine's ever-looming presence, is already keeping Alec awake at night.
Then there is the creature thing that attacked Luke at the Jade Wolf. Izzy is spending most of her time in the labs examining the corpse, while Alec is spending a truly stupid amount of hours out on patrol, combing the streets of New York, looking for clues where the creature came from and whether there are any more of these things hiding out somewhere.
And Alec is doing his utmost best to ignore the fact that he hasn't heard from Jace for more than twenty-four hours now, so who knows what sort of mess is waiting for him on that end once his parabatai finally resurfaces. Alec honestly has no idea where Jace and his troublesome crush are at - much less what they might currently be up to - but he simply doesn't have the time to babysit them right now. In all honesty, he would truly appreciate it if Jace could put his own issues aside just for a while and instead help Alec with the seemingly never-ending work he is struggling with.
No such luck though.
And with everything that's currently going on, Alec hasn't even found the time yet to confront his parents, neither about lying to him about their past nor about making plans for Alec's future without thinking to actually consult him.
So, all in all, Alec simply has too many things in his head and not enough time to sort through it all, people demanding his time left and right, being held up for one reason or another no matter which room he steps into, too many things to get done and not enough time to do it, much less to do it well.
Not to even mention the fact that he hasn't even had the time to see Magnus in the past two days, which certainly does nothing to improve Alec's mood in any way.
So, yes, Alec has been getting increasingly frustrated. With everything and also pretty much everyone.
Hence, the training.
And now, after more than an hour of focusing on nothing but the punching bag in front of him, he feels like he can finally think again, feels like his brain isn't quite so overcrowded anymore, like he might even be able to talk to other people without immediately ripping into them.
And he is just in the process of cooling himself down, just throwing a few light punches at the punching bag to give his muscles the chance to cool down a little, when he sees movement from the corner of his eye, someone approaching the training area from the direction of the Ops center.
Which is honestly rather unusual. Whenever Alec takes over the training area in his current mood, everyone here very much likes to avoid him until he comes back out on his own again, back to his normal, controlled self.
He turns slightly towards the entrance to see who is currently breaching this particular piece of unofficial protocol of self-preservation.
And then he can't help but smile slightly. Because it's Magnus coming up the steps leading to the training area.
Is it weird that Alec's mood immediately improves as soon as he sees Magnus? That he missed Magnus so much, despite it only having been two days since they saw each other last and despite the fact that they have talked twice on the phone in that time? But, well, Alec doesn't much care whether it's weird. He's just happy to get to see his boyfriend so unexpectedly.
"Magnus," he says. "Hey." He pauses, and then for some unknown reason continues with the astute observation of, "You're here."
And sometimes Alec really wishes he would stop dropping into these random phases of awkwardness around Magnus where he suddenly forgets how to act or talk like a normal person.
Magnus however just smiles at him – as always not put off by Alec's awkwardness – coming to a stop a few steps away from Alec, his eyes fixed on him rather intently, gaze dragging slowly – and rather obviously - over Alec's naked chest and arms before finally settling on his face once more.
Alec blinks. And he is rather glad that for once he can easily blame the heat in his cheeks on still being overheated from training. Yeah.
Then, he notices the folder held in Magnus' hands and absently puts a hand out to steady the punching bag that is still swaying slightly from his punches.
But before he can actually ask about the folder, Magnus almost seems to give himself a shake, as though bringing himself back into focus, before the warlock's lips start to quirk into a slight grin.
"Oh, please don't stop on my account," Magnus says, his smile widening even as he starts casually sauntering over to the benches lining the training area, but with his eyes remaining entirely fixed on Alec.
Alec raises his eyebrows, watching Magnus sit down gracefully on the bench – right next to where Alec threw his sweatshirt earlier – and then cross one leg elegantly over the other, clearly intending to get comfortable right there.
"Don't mind me," Magnus comments with a lazy wave of his hand. "I'll be happy to wait right here until you are done." His smile widens. "Wouldn't want to interfere with your training."
Alec almost opens his mouth, about to reply that he is pretty much done with his training already.
But the look in Magnus' eyes stops him. There is something heated, something almost hungry in the warlock's eyes and Alec feels a hot shiver run along his spine, a slight flush crawling up his neck.
No one has ever been this blatant about being attracted to him.
And Alec would definitely be lying if he said he doesn't like Magnus looking at him like this, his eyes dragging over Alec's arms and chest and stomach, like he can't quite decide where he wants to look the most, heat in his eyes.
And, yes, Alec might be new to the whole dating thing, but he does know what the look in Magnus' eyes means – inexperienced or not, he's neither oblivious nor an idiot, thank you very much – and having the warlock so entirely, exclusively, absolutely fixated on him is most certainly something Alec quite enjoys.
So, after another few seconds of watching Magnus get comfortable on the bench, Alec just shrugs internally and then turns back towards the punching bag.
From the corner of his eye he can see Magnus leaning forward slightly as if in anticipation, his elbow on his knee, chin in hand, watching intently.
Another round of training won't hurt and if Magnus wants to watch him throw a few punches shirtless, well, who is Alec to deny him?
Alec breathes out, centering himself, and then he goes about losing himself in another round of training.
And if he chooses to position himself in a way that he can catch a few quick glances of Magnus staring at him appreciatively, well, that's entirely his business, now isn't it?
Magnus is quite happily mesmerized by the sight in front of him.
Alexander shirtless, upper body fully and unselfconsciously on display, skin glistening with sweat as the muscles in his back and arms and chest coil with every swing, with every punch, with every twist of his body.
Dear magic, what a sight.
Alexander's absolute control over his own body is incredible to see, the graceful fluidity of his movements, the effortless power behind each move obvious. And also a massive turn-on.
Magnus is absolutely enthralled.
And he has to remind himself to stay where he is, to remain seated on the bench. Because if he gets up, if gets any closer to that, Magnus doubts he'll be able to keep his hands to himself or to refrain from following some of those sweat drops running down Alexander's neck with his tongue.
And once he does that, well, Magnus might have excellent self-control, but he doubts he'll be able to just walk away once he finally gets to put his mouth on that body. Yeah, Magnus doesn't think anyone's self-control would be that good.
It truly is a shame that the Shadowhunter Institute's training rooms with its many, many cameras definitely isn't the right place to go about ravishing his boyfriend. Alas, he will have to wait until they have a little more privacy.
Hm, come to think of it, it has been a while since they went out on an actual date, hasn't it? So, maybe it's about time he takes Alexander on another date anyway. Maybe they could go out for dinner again, have some excellent food in even better company, talk, just spend some time together.
And if we end up at my place afterwards with some time to ourselves and some much appreciated privacy… Magnus' thoughts stall for a second as Alec does a quick double punch thing that has the muscles in his arms bunching beautifully. And he barely refrains from openly licking his lips at the sight. Well, you certainly wouldn't hear me complaining.
A/N: So, I was debating for a while whether to post this chapter at all, because it's kind of just loads and loads of introspection with barely anything happening plotwise... But in the end, I just couldn't make myself cut it entirely after all because there are some things about their relationship in this that I really wanted to include :) So, hope you like this even though it oddly enough kind of feels like a sort of filler chapter? Would absolutely love to know what you think :D
And thank you so much for your reviews! You guys are just lovely (*^^*)