Down
Magnus carefully adds another ingredient to the perception-dulling potion currently brewing in front of him.
The potion one of his own inventions from about two-hundred years back which had quickly become rather popular with packs wanting to help their newly turned werewolves handle their so recently enhanced senses a bit better. It's also one of the more volatile-to-brew potions in his repertoire, so it's a good thing that he has prepared this particular potion so often he can quite literally brew it blind.
Because his mind is somewhere else entirely, circling around the utterly exhausting last couple of days. Exhausting, on more than one level.
Just yesterday, Magnus had granted himself his last, his final attempt to scry for Dot, the last attempt before he would finally let go of his hope to still somehow be able to find her.
He knows he should have given up a while ago, had known that his friend was gone the moment her magic had disappeared from his senses.
But that first time he had looked for her body for the proper burial rituals, Magnus hadn't found anything - not even the site of her death where traces of her magic should linger as they tend to do after a warlock's death - and immediately there had been that tiny niggle of treacherous hope at the back of his mind. Maybe she wasn't dead after all.
So, he had hoped. Futilely.
And he knows how dangerously easy he tends to fall into that trap, the trap of treacherous hope, and he also knows how that very hope will start to slowly but surely eat away at him. With a life as long as his, with as many friends as he makes and inevitably loses, Magnus simply had to teach himself how to let go, how not to hold on to blind, stubborn, futile hope forever.
So, after several weeks of searching for Dot, yesterday, Magnus had permitted himself one last try, a final ritual, just one more attempt before finally letting go.
He had found nothing.
And, sure, he had already known before, had even already mourned her death as is proper after her magic had first disappeared from his senses, but he had still held on to that tiny bit of hope, hope not to have to mourn yet another friend.
But it truly seems like Dot is gone. Yet another longtime friend lost.
So, Magnus had been caught somewhere between mourning and reminiscing, already in a less-than-great headspace anyway. But apparently one trip down memory lane within twenty-four hours hadn't been enough, seeing as Camille picked today of all days to make a reappearance in his life.
Thankfully she didn't make an actual, physical reappearance, but Raphael had called him early today – really early, as in barely morning yet at all – asking for Magnus' help with her.
Because apparently Camille is once more making a mess of everything - turning mundanes and cheerfully breaking the Accords as she pleases - and her clan had finally had enough, not wanting to risk the Clave coming down on them collectively. So, they wanted her out for the count for at least a couple of years, maybe a few decades, hoping that the most recent mess she has made will have blown over by then. And honestly, what is a decade or two between immortals like them?
But overpowering an ancient vampire like Camille truly is no mean feat and keeping her down even less so. So, Raphael had called Magnus and there will simply never be a point in time where Magnus doesn't lend any and all help he possibly can to his Downworlder children.
So, Magnus had promptly made his way to Hotel Dumort and lent Raphael a bit of his magic, a few spells here, another few enchantments there, to make permanently binding Camille in her coffin - where her clan had apparently stuffed her - a little easier, make her confinement a little more permanent, a little less breakable.
Which had drained him. Not so much magically but more because anything involving Camille is always more than a little taxing for Magnus. Their personal history sees to that.
And now, Magnus is back home, on his own, magic recovered by now but his mind circling, caught in the mess of memories brought up by the whole Camille-thing and giving up on his hope that Dot might still be alive.
In all honesty, the past twenty-four hours have just been a rollercoaster ride down memory lane and he could really do with a distraction right now. Or maybe with a drink. Possibly ten.
Which is the exact moment, his perimeter wards ping with a warning, alerting him to the fact that someone just crossed into the wards surrounding his apartment building. Not only that, but it's Alexander who is approaching.
And, Magnus immediately feels himself perking up slightly.
He pauses for a second at his own reaction, at the immediate uplift in his mood. But then he just shrugs.
Why wouldn't the thought of getting to see his boyfriend cheer him up?
These past few days have been incredibly busy for both of them and they have barely managed to spend any time together at all despite only having started dating so very recently.
And, okay, they are pretty good at keeping up with their previously established nightly phone calls – even if it's just a few minutes at the end of the day to ask how the other is doing – and, sure, it hasn't actually been that long since Magnus visited the Institute to help with the autopsy, where he did in fact get to see Alexander for a bit. And what a lovely vision it was…
But still, that doesn't change the fact that it's simply been too long since Alexander came by for a visit at Magnus' place, where they can spend some uninterrupted time together and maybe even have dinner and if he is really lucky, Alexander might even be able to stay the night again.
Magnus is allowed to feel delight at getting to see his boyfriend after several days of barely seeing each other at all. And if Alexander's presence is also kind of exactly what Magnus needs right now after the day he's had, well, then that's just a perfectly lovely coincidence, isn't it?
So, he hurries to finish the final steps on the potion in front of him, not at all interested in being stuck in his study if Alexander is going to be here.
He hears the door to his loft open just as he is decanting the last of the potion into vials, there is a little bit of shuffling in the entranceway and then Alexander's voice calling, "Magnus?"
"In here, Alexander," he calls back, already feeling a slight smile curving his lips.
Keying Alexander into his wards had been an entirely spontaneous decision, but Magnus absolutely adores how it has taken the Shadowhunter no time at all to get used to having full access to Magnus' loft, rarely if ever even bothering to call ahead anymore, just wandering in whenever he comes over. As though he simply belongs here.
Not to even mention that one time when Magnus had gotten back from a house-call, only to find Alexander reading a book on demon lore on his couch, apparently having come by while he had been gone. And Magnus had certainly forgotten how nice it is to have someone welcome you home with a kiss and a smile, to have someone waiting for you.
His smile widens at the memory. Oh, what this boy does to me.
Seconds later, Alexander appears in the doorway of his study and by the time the Shadowhunter has wandered over to pull Magnus into a much anticipated kiss hello, Magnus has already finished stoppering the vials and is thus free to let himself fully relax into greeting Alexander.
Alexander finally pulls back a little, even though he remains close. "Hi," he murmurs into the small space between them.
"Hi, yourself," Magnus murmurs back with a smile.
He watches an answering smile spread over Alexander's face, eyes entirely focused on his, hands still on Magnus' waist, clearly unwilling to pull away entirely. And Magnus is simply unable to stop himself from leaning in for another lingering, warm, tender kiss.
They decide not to go out and instead have dinner at his loft, out on the balcony.
Alexander apparently just kind of snuck away from the Institute to see him - which is honestly all kinds of adorable and there is something warm expanding in Magnus' chest at the thought that Alexander came by for no other reason than to see him and spend a little time with him - but he is still very much on call for missions tonight, so who know how long they'll actually have before he is called away again. So, neither of them wants to waste what little time they might have on finding a restaurant, making their way through the city, getting a table and whatever else.
Seems like their next actual date will just have to wait a little longer.
Not that Magnus is complaining in the least. He doesn't much feel like going out tonight anyway and is simply happy to get to spend a little bit of uninterrupted time with his boyfriend.
They have dinner - a wonderful spread from that tiny but excellent tapas place Magnus knows not too far from his loft - and they just talk, about a lot of things but nothing that is particularly important, not even touching on either of their work or duties or the various catastrophes currently making their lives much more interesting than they really need to be, just easy topics and relaxing conversation and enjoying in each other's company. It's honestly exactly what Magnus needed today.
And he can see the slight worry in Alexander's eyes from time to time when he looks at Magnus, a question in his eyes but not yet quite asking, clearly able to see past Magnus' cheerful mask right to his rather maudlin thoughts.
And maybe it should surprise him how easily Alexander is able to read him. But then again, somehow it just doesn't. Goes to reason that someone who so easily bypassed all of Magnus' carefully erected defenses around his heart might also have a comparatively easy time to see past his many just as carefully maintained masks.
Magnus just smiles a little helplessly, grateful that Alexander isn't immediately asking questions, demanding answers, happy to be given a reprieve of his own, circling thoughts. But just as happy, just as reassured in the knowledge that Alexander cares enough to notice at all.
Honestly, how am I ever supposed to stand a chance against this one?
So, over dinner, they just talk, about everything and nothing at all. And afterwards, Magnus pours them both another glass of wine as they move over to the bench with its view over the city skyline, sitting close, Magnus leaning into Alexander's side, relaxing, able to almost physically feel most of his tension draining away.
For a few moments, they just sit in silence, relaxing in each other's presence, soaking up that warm, comfortable feeling between them.
Magnus finally decides to ask, "So, how has your day been?"
And Alexander promptly heaves a heavy sigh, making Magnus smile in sympathy. "Stressful as always, then, I take it?"
There is a pause, before Alexander tilts his head thoughtfully.
"Well, yes, when is it ever not been?" he asks sardonically. Before saying, "Although, it's actually gotten a little more manageable recently."
Magnus hums. "I did notice that you seem to have just a little more room to breathe these past few days despite everything that's happening at the Institute."
Mostly, Magnus is just glad that his boyfriend isn't being run into the ground anymore, but he has still been wondering how Alexander seems to have a little more free time recently despite also seemingly taking on yet another new responsibility every time Magnus turns around.
Alexander glances at him, clearly contemplating how best to continue. And Magnus barely keeps a frown off his face. It's strange to see Alexander so hesitant about saying something, usually so very straightforward.
Thankfully, after another few seconds of hesitation the Shadowhunter seems to just give up on his uncharacteristic hesitation, giving a slight shrug, "It's because of Lydia."
Magnus blinks, honestly surprised. "Lydia Branwell? The Clave envoy?"
Alexander nods, even as he moves his free arm from the back of the bench to fully settle around Magnus. "I've been working with her a lot, mostly showing the inner workings of the Institute. The Clave might have taken full control thereby making Lydia the effective Head, but she isn't actually familiar enough with the Institute to really run it on her own."
"Ah," Magnus nods in understanding, getting fully comfortable against Alexander's side. "I can imagine. Going by what I've seen over the years, running an Institute is already enough of a job for two people who are familiar with its inner workings."
"Exactly." Then, Alexander sighs. "But my parents are too offended at being replaced to work with her, so it's been mostly on me to show her around. And Lydia is honestly pretty good at her job, so it's not like I have to constantly be holding her hand or anything. But with me already being used to handling most of the Head of the Institute duties in my parents' absence anyway and her being the interim Head, we've kind of just been splitting a lot of the responsibilities between us."
"But that's good, isn't it?" Magnus asks, getting the feeling that Alexander's initial hesitance while talking about this might mostly be stemming from his parents' aforementioned feelings of offense. "Having someone to split responsibilities with can only help with getting things done, right?"
Alec nods slowly, letting his fingers absently run over one of Magnus' long necklaces where it is resting against the warlock's clothed chest. It's made from some kind of metal, larger beads in some places, and the way it has been lying over Magnus' collar bones has been distracting Alec all night. But now, running his fingers over the uneven chain, the metal warm from Magnus' skin, is almost soothing somehow.
"It does," Alec finally remembers to actually reply.
Because Magnus is right, working with Lydia really has made things easier, especially with his parents still more concerned with getting back into power – after being 'usurped', as his mother calls it – than actually helping Alec make sure that things run smoothly.
Thing is, Alec honestly likes Lydia, likes working with her. She is straightforward like him, preferring honesty to subterfuge, but she definitely also knows how to play the political game if needed. And they seem to just click somehow.
And Lydia clearly feels the same, because within days of knowing each other she had seemingly decided to just accept Alec's help in Institute matters, letting him – as the person everyone here had always assumed would one day lead the Institute – balance out her outsider status as a Clave envoy.
They actually make a pretty great team, having quickly fallen into a rhythm of handling the official and not-so-official side of running the Institute together, both of them taking on the jobs they are particularly good at and thereby saving each other endless amounts of time.
Hence, Alec suddenly having a bit more free time on his hands despite effectively co-running the Institute right now.
But with how his parents and his siblings have been acting towards Lydia – seeming to almost blame her personally for being sent to check on the happenings at the New York Institute – Alec has been feeling a little weird about just how well he has been getting along with her.
Magnus however is just watching him attentively, expression encouraging, as always willing to just listen.
So, Alec blows out a breath. "She just… Lydia just gets it. She gets how I see things and that the job comes before most everything else. But she also gets that following the Clave isn't just a one-time decision, but rather a decision you make with every new order you are given. That it's less about absolute obedience or disobedience and much more about navigating the grey area in between, about following their laws without compromising your own morals, your own convictions. And, okay, sometimes you simply don't have a choice but to do exactly as is demanded of you, but other times you can find ways to work around an order, find a way to make them better."
Magnus is watching him with an expression that is hard to decipher, warm and approving and almost proud, something that almost looks like respect in his eyes.
Alec ignores the slight flush he can immediately feel creeping up his neck at the expression Magnus is currently directing at him and instead finishes with, "Lydia believes in the institution of the Clave, but she also isn't a blind follower and our views really seem to mostly match. Working with her really has made getting things done much easier."
Magnus watches him for a few seconds, that same expression of warm approval on his face, before finally saying, "I'm honestly glad you have that, Alexander. Not only someone to work with, but also someone you know sees things as you do, someone you can fall back on if you are ever in doubt, someone you can rely on to pick up the slack if you need it. That's worth a lot."
And Alec breathes out.
Because that's it exactly. The reassurance that if he really needs it, there is someone at the Institute who is able and willing to take on a share of his work without Alec feeling the need to check every detail afterwards to make sure that it is done to his standards, knowing that not only does Lydia agree with him on most issues but that she is also just as much of an uncompromising perfectionist about the job as he is. Yeah, that's exactly it.
So, he just smiles back at his boyfriend, relieved that Magnus gets why he likes working with Lydia so much, how nice it is to have found another Shadowhunter whose convictions pretty much perfectly match Alec's own.
Which also reminds him. He might have kind of forgotten to tell his boyfriend that Lydia knows about them, the only person aside from Izzy who he told about being in a relationship at all.
It's something Alec has been worrying about, how it must feel for Magnus to still be a sort of secret.
And it's not like Alec is in any way ashamed of them, isn't even deliberately keeping Magnus a secret as such. Sure, he'd like to keep it professional at the Institute for now but that's mostly because Alec has yet to figure out how to handle his parents and also because he'd much rather not have to deal with everyone sticking their noses into his personal life.
But Alec also made the decision a while ago that if the topic ever does come up in conversation or if anyone ever asks him outright, there is no way Alec will ever actually deny being with Magnus. He won't.
So, when Lydia had told him about her late husband - about marrying the love of her life and about losing him far too soon - Alec had repaid her in kind by telling her about currently being in a relationship with a Downworlder, even if he has yet to tell her that his boyfriend also just so happens to be none other than the High Warlock of this city himself.
And, yeah, Alec kind of forgot to tell Magnus about it.
"I actually told Lydia about us," Alec says trying for casual, even as he watches Magnus intently. "That my boyfriend is a Downworlder," he adds, as though there is any need to specify on that.
Magnus blinks and then raises his eyebrows in clear surprise, and Alec can see a smile starting to slowly make its way onto his face. He can't help but feel somewhat exasperated at himself for immediately feeling so flustered at the clear happiness he can see in Magnus' eyes.
"I haven't told her who you are yet, though," he adds, suddenly wanting to make sure that he gets this fully across, not wanting to give Magnus the wrong impression only to have to disappoint him later.
Magnus just tilts his head slightly in order to fully meet his eyes and smile at him warmly, "I'm happy you did, Alexander. But you know I don't mind if you want to keep things to yourself." The look in his eyes is happy and also so full of understanding. "It's entirely up to you who to tell or not to tell and what to tell them."
Alec smiles back, something warm expanding in his chest, so very aware of the fact that Magnus seems only ever concerned with making Alec as comfortable as he possibly can, never even attempting to push him into anything, never pressuring him in any way.
And, angel, is Alec ever so grateful for having such an understanding boyfriend, who is willing to give him all the time in the world to figure everything out in his own time. It just makes him want to do the same thing for Magnus, wants to put his boyfriend first wherever he can. And he can only hope that Magnus will be willing to open himself up to him the same Alec has been doing for him, can only hope that Magnus might be willing to tell him what had him so subdued earlier.
There is nothing Alec wants more than to be there for Magnus the same way Magnus seems to just always be there for him, wants them to lean on each other, wants that trust and devotion and uncompromising, unwavering warmth and welcome between them. Wants it more than he has ever wanted anything else in his life.
But for now, Magnus smiles at him, eyes soft and for the first time tonight looking entirely happy and relaxed - the shadows in his eyes finally gone - and Alec is just entirely helpless against the pull that has him leaning in for a kiss, the arm he has around Magnus only curling a little tighter around his boyfriend.
The kiss is warm and lingering and gentle and there is something tender to it that is entirely new and, by the angel, Alec is falling for this man, can practically feel it, can feel it in the warmth curling through him when they pull apart only to linger close, their foreheads still touching, can feel it in the way his heart swells a little in his chest, giving a slow, pronounced thump when he opens his eyes to see that Magnus' are still closed, his expression open and warm and quietly happy.
And Alec doesn't quite yet dare asking himself just how one is supposed to tell the difference between still falling in love and already being in love. And whether the fact that this question occurs to him at all, should kind of be his answer already.
Alec gets back to the Institute just in time to witness one of those creature things – the same kind that attacked Luke – somehow managing to get inside the Institute.
Well, he more than just witnesses the attack, seeing as he is very much involved in fighting it off together with Hodge and even manages to get injured in the fight, the gash in his upper arm a constant, painful throb.
But he honestly doesn't even really care too much about his injury right now, far too angry at having been taken off guard in the first place. He has never even heard of an Institute's wards being breached like this, without any sort of alarm being sounded.
It has him clenching his teeth. Not only because this is home and their place to feel safe, but also because when the creature first broke through the wall of the training area, Alec's first thought had been that it was there for the Mortal Cup, that someone had found out about the ancient, powerful artifact hidden in the safe just a few steps away from where the fight was taking place.
It had made Alec's fighting sloppy because in that moment he had been more concerned with protecting the safe and the Cup, than with keeping himself perfectly protected.
It's all he can think about in the aftermath.
Because if the Institute isn't safe, the Cup simply can't stay here.
It needs to be returned to Idris, needs to be put under all those security measures they have available there. Immediately.
And the only thing keeping Alec from just simply handing the Cup over to the Clave right now, is his unspoken promise to Jace to keep it safe. So, he needs to talk to his parabatai first.
Which however turns out to be much easier said than done, because Jace and Clary are currently too busy running around New York, trying to find Clary's newly-minted-vampire friend, who is apparently pissed at everything and everyone because he wasn't actually given a choice whether he wanted to turn in the first place.
And while Alec can even somewhat sympathize with him, right now he already has too many things on his plate and a fledgling vampire running unchecked around New York is just another thing to worry about. Not to even mention that this entire situation still has the potential of erupting into a conflict between the Clave and one of New York's strongest vampire clans. Which is the absolute last thing Alec wants to have to deal with right now.
And it also means that he just can't seem to get a hold of his parabatai to talk about the Cup and returning it to Idris.
At least, Izzy figures out how the Institute's security was breached in the first place. Somehow these creatures have seelie blood but without its demonic component, leaving only the angelic properties behind, thus letting them simply walk past the wards, nothing at all standing in their way.
Of course, Magnus is immediately called in to strengthen the wards, tweak them to provide some sort of protection against angel-blooded non-Shadowhunters. But Alec barely even gets a few minutes to talk to his boyfriend in the middle of the corridor - just time enough for Magnus to subtly twirl his fingers, pretty much entirely healing the wound on Alec's arm - before Alec is already called away again.
This time it's his parents calling him, who apparently decided that now of all times would be the perfect chance to finally have that discussion about Alec's future.
The timing is just ridiculous even if Alec has been waiting for this. It's honestly about time they finally have this talk.
Because his parents' plan to marry him off has clearly been in the works for a while now - so much so that even when Lydia first got here from Idris she had already known about Alec's alleged wish to settle down with a nice, 'suitable' Shadowhunter girl - but his parents have yet to actually tell Alec himself about it.
He is even a little curious how exactly this is going to go. Whether his mother is just going to present him with the name of his future wife or whether he'll be given a selection of Maryse-approved candidates to pick from, like some sort of choose-your-wife catalogue.
Not that it's going to make a difference either way, Alec thinks even as he finally reaches the door to his father's office.
Because while his parents may think that this is going to be a brief discussion about Alec agreeing to a political marriage - probably counting on his unwavering willingness to do pretty much anything for his family - they don't know yet that Alec's future is not going to actually be up for debate at all.
So, Alec might not be particularly looking forward to this particular discussion, but in contrast to his parents he already knows exactly how it is going to end.
Alec listens to his parents' spiel about family honor and tradition and Shadowhunter allegiances, thinking to himself that they certainly aren't being subtle about where this entire discussion is heading. Even if he hadn't already known ahead of time just what this conversation was going to be about, he'd probably have figured it out by now.
Still.
Just because he already knows what it is they want from him doesn't mean he is willing to make it any easier on them. If they are going to do this - tell him he is to trade in his future for their family - then they can damn well at least say as much to his face.
But while they certainly seem to have no problem with bringing up all of Alec's recent failures, they have yet to admit to any faults of their own, no mentions of how they themselves might have contributed to the blemish on the Lightwood name.
Alec doesn't even get why. They must know that he would find out about their past with the Circle at some point.
Are they honestly hoping he'll remain ignorant just long enough for it to be too late? Are they really hoping that he won't find out until he has already traded his future away to make up for a fault that is not actually his own? And what exactly does that sort lie, that sort of underhanded betrayal of Alec's trust, make his parents?
So, when his mother finally does get around to announcing that Alec is to get married for a political alliance and that she already started looking at possible candidates for him, he just remains silent for a few seconds longer, waiting.
But when they truly leave it at that - truly try to make it seem like the blemish on the family name is exclusively Alec's and his siblings' fault - he finally replies, calmly, seriously, firmly.
"I refuse."
There is silence.
His mother just blinks at him, his father looking honestly surprised at her side, both of them so very unused to Alec not simply doing as he is told. Never mind that this is not just a standard mission order but rather his entire future they are talking about here.
Alec waits for several moments, just wanting to let his refusal sink in, before he affirms, "I will not agree to an arranged, politically-motivated marriage." He is glad to note that his tone is neither aggressive nor particularly confrontational, but that it also brooks no question. It sounds like Alec is stating a simple fact.
Because that's what it is. A fact.
Alec simply will not marry for a political alliance. Won't marry for anything but the sort of happiness he now knows is something he can have.
Or to put it in simpler terms, Alec can't even imagine ever marrying anyone who isn't Magnus Bane, as ridiculous as that may seem. But it's just another fact in his mind. Though admittedly, this really might not be the best point in time to articulate that particular conviction of his.
So, instead he just waits for his parents' reactions.
His mother is frowning now. It's the same disappointed look Alec has seen a thousand times throughout his childhood. For the first time in his life, her disapproval, her disappointment doesn't move him in the least.
"Alec," she says, reprimand clear in her voice. "I had thought you understood that being a Shadowhunter requires sacrifice, that our personal lives always come second to our duties. It is your duty to repair the damage done to the Lightwood name."
"No, it is not," Alec refutes calmly, feeling some of the anger he has been carrying around with him for days now finally bleeding through, his eyes narrowing slightly. "It is not my duty to fix what you broke."
Her expression remains unchanged but he can see definite surprise and something almost like dawning comprehension in her eyes.
Alec doesn't give her the chance to say anything, however. He is done listening to them lying to him.
"You have been lying to me, to us. It wasn't anything Izzy or Jace or I did that tarnished the Lightwood name, messing with Downworld business or not. The blemish on the family name is on you." He pauses, then breathes out harshly. "You were in the Circle. You followed Valentine."
The room around him is utterly, deadly silent.
"Son." It's his dad who finally speaks up, eyes slightly wide and tone regretful.
But Alec is suddenly too angry to care. Let them deal with their children being disappointed in them for a change.
He doesn't bother mincing his words, "You were the ones who tarnished the family name, the ones who made the Lightwood name less than it could be. And now you are trying to push the fault, the responsibility for your failures onto our shoulders." Alec doesn't quite call them liars or cowards to their faces, but it's a near thing and he thinks they might still be able to hear the words quite clearly, unspoken or not. "Did you honestly think I would never find out? That you could just continue hiding this from me?"
And Alec already knows exactly what excuse they are going to give him, namely the only recently lifted ban making it illegal to so much as even talk about anything related to the Circle.
As expected, his father speaks up, "Son, you know that it was forbidden-"
Alec makes an impatient, slicing hand gesture. "And how convenient that was for you," he says sharply. "But we both know that the ban wouldn't have stopped you if you actually wanted to tell us the truth. Because it's certainly not illegal to talk about the Circle any longer and you have yet to stop lying to me."
His parents are silent, neither of them speaking for several moments.
Maybe they are realizing that this conversation right here - before they tried to make Alec carry the burden of their own failures - had been their last chance to come clean, their last chance to redeem themselves at least slightly in his eyes. Or maybe they don't realize it at all. Either way, they missed their chance.
Alec breathes in, managing to mostly calm his anger. "But you are right. I do believe in the true Shadowhunter way and I am proud of the Lightwood name." And a part of Alec truly detests his parents for cheapening that, for tarnishing the Lightwood name, for making it less than it could be.
So, he leans in slightly, continuing emphatically, "Far too proud in fact to sell my future, or any Lightwood's future for that matter, for something as cheap as a political alliance."
He makes sure to meet both of his parents' stares to show them just how serious he is.
But there is a look in his mother's eyes that he recognizes, a look that tells him she is already rallying new arguments. And she knows him so well, knows exactly which buttons to push to make him see things her way. At one point, she might have even stood a good chance at still winning this argument.
But she doesn't know yet that there is simply no way to sway him on this. She doesn't know about Magnus.
And just for a second Alec considers throwing it in her face, considers telling her that not only is he not going to agree to a 'suitable' marriage as determined by her, but that he is also gay and in a relationship with a powerful warlock who Alec doesn't intend to let go anytime soon. Or ever, really.
Considers telling her that he is perfectly, stupidly happy and that nothing and no one will make him give that up.
He considers it. But only for a second.
Because, yes, a large part of his conviction not to agree to an arranged marriage definitely stems from his relationship with Magnus, from realizing how happy he can be if he lets himself, from Alec deciding to be selfish for once in his life.
But.
Throwing his relationship in his mother's face now, somehow feels like it would cheapen what he has with Magnus in some way, making it seem like his relationship is nothing but some sort of revenge he is deliberately taking on his parents, like he is dating Magnus just to prove something or to rebel against them.
And Alec won't allow anyone to ever think that. Magnus is simply so much more than that.
So instead, he lets his calm fully settle around himself once more and finally continues, "Don't get me wrong, I will fix what you broke, I will restore the Lightwood name. But I will do it on my own terms."
He calmly keeps his eyes on them for another few seconds. Watching them, almost inviting them to protest. There is nothing they can say that could possibly sway him. And maybe they can tell, because neither of them says a word.
Another few seconds of silence and then, Alec finally just gets up and - with barely a nod at both of them - he simply turns around and leaves.
So, yes, Alec might not have been particularly looking forward to this conversation, but he had always known exactly how it was going to end.
Alec was never going to be the one who lost this argument. It quite simply hadn't even been an option.
A/N: So. This chapter didn't turn out as planned at all XD It was supposed to be mainly plot and setting up dynamics and I told myself there would be barely any malec for once... Yeah.
Instead you get an absolute monster of a chapter with some Magnus-centric plot for once (I feel like I've been neglecting his side of things a little 'cause he got barely any screen time during this part of s1...), a malec kind-of-date (even if they stayed home), a little bit of plot progress and finally the confrontation between Alec and his parents :) I would absolutely love to know what you think :D
And I'm sorry about having to move the scene with Magnus finding out about the whole arranged marriage thing to the next chapter, but the word count of this one would have just been plain ridiculous otherwise XD
And thank you so much for your lovely reviews! You are wonderful (*^^*)