II
A world of shadows, of greys and blacks. Perhaps it would be more appropriate to compare what he was seeing with some sort of theatre.
On top of that darkness crawled a small, weak child. He imagined that the white lines running down from various points on his body -the head, arm, and his chest- were a way to represent blood. He fell to the ground, rose with great effort. He fell again. And yet he moved on. He kept trying. His was a determination bordering on madness.
And why was he doing all of that?
He was approaching something. Someone.
The pool of blood beneath that person was in the shape of the shattered moon, which watched over everything from the heavens.
He gasped, suddenly woke up, standing up.
There was a stranger by his side, hand on his shoulder. She had said something to him. Jaune grunted and pushed her, surprising her to the point that she lost her balance.
"I'm sorry," he said, not understanding very well why he felt the need to apologize. "You scared me."
"No harm done," the girl said, and the most surprising thing is that she seemed to mean it. "I just wanted to tell you that the auditorium is empty. The others are gone."
Jaune blinked, looked around. It was true. He had lost sight of Ruby.
The girl who had woken him was taller than him, a redhead with a ponytail and wearing armor. It looked nothing like his, though. He recognized that style of armor, or at least he thought he recognized it, but he couldn't tell where it came from. Well, it didn't really matter. It was not worth the effort to remember. It was inevitable that they would see each other again, but surely they would never speak again.
Many would have called her beautiful. He simply wondered how he could get away from her as quickly as possible without causing a scene.
When he realized that he could not do such a thing, it was difficult to not show his irritation on his face.
"Thank you," he said. "You know where we have to go, don't you?"
"Sure." She nodded. "I'll be happy to guide you."
They started walking to... wherever they had to go.
"You couldn't sleep because of nervousness?" she asked him.
"What?"
"The night before, I mean."
Jaune snorted.
"Not at all. I was nervous, I'm still nervous. But not about coming here. And that didn't affect my sleep. I just don't sleep well. I haven't done it in a while."
"Why are you nervous?"
"That's a very private question, don't you think?" He added, "No offense."
"Then I'll start with a more appropriate one. What's your name?"
Shut up, he thought. Shut up now, can't you see I don't want to talk to you?
"Jaune Arc. And you?"
"Excuse me?"
"And you?" he repeated. Having to do so only increased his irritation. She, for some reason, seemed astonished.
"Pyrrha Nikos. Nice to meet you."
"Yeah." It was an ambiguous answer that she could interpret as she wished. He wasn't going to go so far as to allow "me too" to pass through his lips, of course not. He didn't like liars. He hadn't done it since always, even before...
Stop doing that, he screamed at himself. But that was as useless as trying to stop a tsunami with his hands. After all, entering Beacon was like digging up his past, only not slowly, little by little, chunk by chunk of earth, but all at once. Without giving him time to prepare for what he would find beneath, either a rotting corpse, or a bunch of bones. Or nothing but dust.
No, it was even worse than that. His past and his future, his destiny, were colliding. Destroying each other. And there was no way of knowing what would remain when the smoke dissipated.
"Jaune."
He winced.
"You were falling asleep again. Or so it seemed. You don't know me, do you?"
"Well, no."
"Are you serious?"
"I told you. No. Earlier I had to deal with a little girl who thinks the world revolves around her because of the prestige of her family name, so if you're like her, get lost."
"Don't get me wrong. It just... surprised me. In a good way."
"Yeah?" Maybe he shouldn't have been so dry, but she was testing his patience. In fact, it was near the boiling point.
"I'm a little famous," she explained as if I had asked her a question, "so I'm used to... well..."
"To people kissing the ground you walk on," Jaune offered. Anything to make her shut up faster.
"Yes, I didn't want to say it like that, but you're right."
"I can assure you that you won't have that problem with me, at least."
Pyrrha smiled.
"I can see that already," she replied in a soft voice.
At last they reached their destination, which turned out to be a ballroom. If he wasn't mistaken. He wasn't exactly a person who was used to attending dances.
He bid her farewell with a nod and began to look for a place to put his things and sleep when night came.
He couldn't help but notice that many eyes followed her movements, whispers and indiscreet comments. It seemed that this Pyrrha had lied to him. She was quite famous, not just a little. He would have to look for her name on his scroll. Just to be sure.
Protecting Ruby Rose was his job, but maybe Pyrrha was someone he wanted to have by Ruby's side to do it if he was not around for some reason.
Also, it was always worth knowing more about the people he would live with for four years that could be a threat.
At first he looked for a place near Ruby, but he had arrived too late, it seemed he would have to settle for the first spot he found. He could only blame himself for that. He knew it, but... he clicked his tongue.
He sat on the blanket, placed his back against one of the pillars. He look around. As if waiting for someone to come out of hiding and attack him. He shook his head, pulled out his scroll and searched the net for Pyrrha's name. That way he discovered that she was four times champion of some tournament in Mistral. That's what the armor reminded him of. Mistral.
It sounded like he hadn't made a mistake. She would be a convenient ally, it had been worth not following his first impulse. In other words, to tell her to fuck off. If he could get her to become Ruby's friend... at the very least arranging things so that she would end up on her team and wait for the two of them to do the rest, he'd be relieved.
But it was useless to think about that now, because he had no idea how the teams would be distributed. Maybe it was a matter of choice; maybe they did it at random. Who knows. Speculation was fine; he would even say it was healthy. But not when one didn't even have a shred of information.
He nailed his eyes on Ruby. Gathering the little courage possessed by a coward like him, he stood up and approached her. He had to fix things. If he left things like that until tomorrow... He didn't even want to think about how Ruby's opinion of him would solidify.
She was talking to her sister, Yang, about something. Couldn't say what it was. His ears were ringing. He felt like he was drowning. After his first meeting, he had felt even more attracted to her. But it had been foolish to think that he had left fear behind. It would never leave, not really.
He felt like he was drowning. After his first meeting, he had felt even more attracted to it. But it had been foolish to think that he had left fear behind. He would never leave, not really.
He made his way up to her. She stopped.
"Ruby?" He called her. The ringing went away, as if her name was a magic word.
She looked at him. She seemed surprised. And... and what else?
"Ah, hello Jaune." For some reason, her cheeks were very red. Was she ill? A knot formed in in his stomach just at the thought of it. "How are you?"
"I'm have no reason to complain. Hey, I wanted to tell you... I'm sorry. For acting like I did before, with Weiss. I just wanted to defend you, but I should have behaved differently. It's just that I, I..." He looked away, on the verge of tears.
"Is there bad blood between you and her?" Ruby softly suggested. "Or her family?"
Jaune nodded. It was a good excuse. Certainly better than anything that might have occurred to him in his state.
She carefully, tentatively, put a hand on his shoulder.
"I understand. Well, no, I do not understand. I don't even know you. But... I guess what I mean is that I get why you did that. Or so I think. "
She made him turn his head toward her. Her face became a mixture of shame and worry.
"Jaune, you are..."
"Sorry. I know it's silly, but..." He wiped his tears with his hands. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."
(please don't hate me!)
"Don't cry. No, there is nothing to forgive. Really, what did you do to me? Nothing. I should thank you. Well, I already did... but thank you again. You deserve it," she said so hurriedly that she ran out of breath. "Oh, I don't even know what I'm saying."
Jaune swallowed. He struggled to regain control of himself. How was he going to convince Ruby that he could protect her from anything if almost the first thing he had done in front of her was crumble like a baby?
Stupid. Stupid.
"Don't make that face," he whispered. "I'll be fine. I suppose it was because of all the excitement, the stress. You don't have to worry about me."
Ruby nodded slowly.
"Jaune?"
"What?"
She bowed her head.
"I'm sorry. For misjudging you. And thank you again."
Jaune was speechless. Is she apologizing to me? Did I hear right? Ruby Rose was too kind.
"No. Thank you. Well, I'll leave you..." he looked to the side. Yang was looking at him as if she didn't believe what just happened. And it wasn't surprising. After all, as far as she knew, he had met Ruby earlier today. He had not had time to feel attached to her. Certainly not to such an extent that he would cry in front of everyone because of her. "I'll leave you with your sister. Be well. Both of you."
He retraced his steps, collapsed on top of his blanket. He felt as if a great weight had been lifted from him, but not entirely. That wasn't surprising either. This, if he could call it anything, was only the beginning. The first day of the rest of his life. So to speak.
He took a deep breath. He looked at the sheet beneath him. White on the side he was sitting on, and with drawings of roses. The other was colored red.
He wondered how long he would be able to sleep tonight. And how he well he would do it.
He realized that he was dreaming, that what he felt and would feel was only part of a nightmare. But that didn't mean he could do anything about it. In fact, within his own mind he was weaker than in any other place or time.
He was short of breath.
The smell of blood floating in the stagnant air was strong enough to suffocate him.
The heat was unbearable. And the pressure of the...
He lacked the courage to finish that thought, even though he knew what it was about. But his mind didn't care what he was able to endure and what he wasn't, it didn't make those distinctions.
Of, of...
No.
Of the corpses.
He shrieked with all his strength, with all the air he was holding in his lungs. He stirred like mad, struggling to free himself. From the pressure and the heat and the blood. But no matter how much he moved, he could not escape. And part of him knew it. A part of him was aware that he would always be there.
(let me out!)
He felt like a bug that had been pierced with a stick and left on the ground to die, without being able to do anything about it, without knowing why he was even going to die. He raised his arms high, as if they could extend and go through the hazy roof. As if he could grasp something in the open sky on the other side of it.
Jaune.
A spider. That was the most appropriate name for him, because of how his arms, his whole body, was twitching.
Jaune, you have to calm down.
He also heard something, now that he thought of it. It resembled the voice of -, but it could not be true. It was only in his head.
(let me out!)
You have to calm down. It was just a nightmare, but you're awake now, everything will be fine.
Jaune made his way to the surface. His lungs filled with oxygen again. The world regained the shape it should have, the one he had seen last night. The violent colors returned to their place, completing the image of what turned out to be people, not creatures. Aspiring hunters. Like him. He was
(i'm not dead!)
destined to become one.
His face was warm. He had been crying, he was still crying, actually. His crooked, half-open mouth and strange posture told him that he had not only been screaming and twisting in dreams.
Ruby Rose was on top of him, hands on his shoulders. She had been trying to make him calm down all this time. She looked scared, but for once it wasn't because of him, it was for him. Her eyes were wide open. Her breathing agitated.
"Thank goodness," she murmured.
Jaune clutched to a side of her cloak and cried on her shoulder. He was still shaking, but the reason was very different. If she had previously surrendered to fear, now she surrendered to relief. To worship. If there was anyone in this world who could save him from himself, it was her.
Ruby hugged him tightly. He could not see the expression he had in the meantime. For a moment he wished to do so.
He heard the mocking and laughing, no doubt she did too. However, they both turned a blind eye to that.
"I am sorry," Jaune apologized again, walking with her and her sister to the lockers to collect their weapons. "I know you don't like to be the center of attention, but this is the second time I've pushed you there."
Ruby still had red cheeks. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye.
"Don't apologize. What kind of friend would I be if I had let you suffer alone?"
The gears in her brain stopped abruptly, clumsily.
"Are you serious? Do you consider me your friend?"
"Of course I do. Why shouldn't I? Unless you don't want me to be, of course. That you'd rather forget about me. I'd understand."
"...No, no, no, no, no. Of course I want to! That's great."
He couldn't believe it had been that easy, after worrying about it so badly and for so long.
Yang looked at her sister, winked at her. Ruby became even redder. It could get to the point where she would get confused with her cape, where no one would notice if her hood was on or off.
It was really worrying. Something was going on here.
They stopped suddenly.
"Well, I suppose this is where we split up," Jaune said. "My locker is a little further up the road. See you later.
"Wait," said Ruby, grabbing the sleeve of his shirt.
"What's the matter?
"I know what it feels like to have such horrible nightmares. I had them for years, they wouldn't let me sleep. So, you know, if you ever want to talk about it, or just vent to someone, you can always count on me."
It was very kind of her, but how could she possibly tell her the truth? If he did, she wouldn't look at him with kind eyes again. No one could be so kind-hearted. Not even her.
"Jaune?"
"It's nothing. I think... I think it's inevitable that I'll tell someone. And if I'm going to do it, it should be to you." He smiled. "My first and only friend."
"Hey, what I am, chopped liver?" Yang protested. "As far as I'm concerned, my sister's friends are also my friends."
"That's right," added Ruby. "She takes that very seriously."
He nodded. Anyone Ruby got along with was a person worth knowing, so he had no problem accepting that.
"Thank you. Well, I have to go."
"See you later, Jaune," said Ruby, cheerful and friendly as always.
"Yes, good-bye, Sir Juan."
"It's Jaune," he corrected her as he left. Without turning around. He didn't understand why she had felt the need to refer to him as sir, so he didn't comment on that.
He speculated that it was because he wore armor like that of an ancient knight. In fact, that's what it was. So in a sense it was an appropriate title for him. He would accept it. As long as I didn't call him Juan again. He didn't like the sound of that name.
On the way to pick up his sword, he found a pleasant surprise and an unpleasant one right next to the other. Pyrrha Nikos, the famous champion. And Weiss Schnee, better known as Snow White. And the icing on the cake? His locker was between those two.
Maybe I'm cursed, he thought, and he wasn't entirely joking.
Anyway. Onward and to the Ursa. Was that how they say it?
"...I'm sure anyone would like to join someone as strong and popular as you," he heard Weiss and couldn't believe that he ever thought she had a beautiful voice, even if only for a second. Ruby's was the real beauty, all the others paled before hers.
"I thought I should let the chips fall where they might," answered Pyrrha. Not a hint of irritation appeared on her face. He assumed he had practice with that, being who he was.
"Humm? Does that mean you know how teams will be assigned?"
"Not for sure. But I have my suspicions that it will be random. To a certain extent."
"That... that would be horrible."
Jaune silently moved between them. He inserted the key into the hole in the locker, turned it, opened it. There was his shield and his sword. Right where he had left them. He let out a sigh of relief.
They were known collectively as Crocea Mors, but he had no attachment to that name. What family heirloom? It was nothing more than a tool for killing.
"Hello again, Jaune."
He tied the sheath to his hip. He did not put the sword in, however, but lifted it high, holding it with both hands.
"A nice sword, don't you think? It's a family heirloom. It can cut anything, I can tell you that. Wood, steel, metal... " He stared intently at Weiss's neck. "Or skin. Just to give an example."
Weiss's expression became darker, but it was obvious that she didn't feel like fighting.
"You don't have to mess with me," her voice was shaky. "I understand, okay? I won't bother that girl again. Or you. And I hope you'll give me the same courtesy."
Okay, he was wrong. She still had some guts left.
"Don't doubt it," Jaune said, sheathing his sword. "I hope this is the last time our paths cross."
"Same to you."
Weiss turned on her heel, elegant as a dancer. And she walked away, clenching her fists in a poor attempt to contain her anger.
"I should just thank you," said Pyrrha, "but what happened there? What have you got against her?"
"I caught her assaulting a person I care deeply about," he replied simply. He had decided to be nicer to her because it was convenient, but that didn't mean he had to explain everything to her.
"That girl in red. What was her name... Ruby?"
She had found out. Of course, everyone had seen him break down and in front of who he had done it. And if not the first time, he was sure that on the second time everyone had been present and awake.
"Yes," he admitted.
"You must be very close. I know it's bad on my part, but I envy you for it."
Jaune refused to answer, to ask the question she wanted him to ask.
"Even so," said Pyrrha, "you didn't have to resort to violence. I didn't want to join her because of her attitude, but I don't think she's weak. She will probably pass the initiation test and become our companion as a hunter. We're all in this together, even her. We don't have to get along, but we should at least be civil."
He closed the lid of the locker abruptly.
"Pyrrha, no offense... But I don't remember asking for your opinion. I will handle her and people like her as I see fit." Although surprised, for some strange reason she seemed pleased with his brusque reply. Maybe it would be better to stay away from her, and keep her away from Ruby, after all. She was a very strange person. Not to mention she made him uncomfortable. Ruby was a normal person, and she had reacted to what he did to Weiss with fear, at least at first. Pyrrha, however, acted as if she hadn't seen him threaten to kill Weiss.
Before he met Ruby, that wouldn't have seemed strange to him. In the outside world, beyond the shared fantasy that could only survive within the walls of the kingdom's, human life had very little value. But now he could clearly see there was something wrong with her reaction. And it... worried maybe was too strong of a word, but he didn't like it.
It made him feel less human.
For some reason. He didn't even understand himself half the time.
"And I don't think she shares your opinion," he continued. "Good luck, Pyrrha. And goodbye."
Now that he was thinking about it, when they met she had been wearing her armor, hadn't she? Instead of the school uniform, like the rest of them.
What did that meant?
"May it follow you too," she replied. And watched him leave.
He retraced his steps. To Ruby, his savior. They had been talking about something, but they became silent as soon as they saw him approach. Jaune regretted not hiding to hear the conversation. If it turned out to be important... But it was too late to regret it.
He forced himself to smile. Hopefully it seemed natural, but he lacked practice, so he could not trust himself on that.
"So... Are you both ready?"
"Please." Yang snorted. "I was born ready."
"To kill Grimm?" Ruby said. "Yes, of course. To meet new people? Not at all."
"Don't worry," he replied. "I'll do what I can to ensure we end up on the same team. Then at least you'll have me by your side."
Ruby turned red. Okay, now he was convinced that something was going on. Was she sick? He approached her and put his hand on her forehead.
"Wh-what are you...?"
"Give me a second." She didn't have a fever. He looked at her from top to bottom. He decided to be a little more direct. "Are you all right?"
"Of course I'm fine. Why do you say that?"
"Well, you've been getting red too often. And you're worrying me. If you're sick, I'm sure the headmaster will give you another test as soon as you get better. You don't have to force yourself."
"No, no." She moved took his hand from his forehead and raised her hood over her head. "Seriously, I'm fine. Don't worry."
She wasn't very convincing with her cheeks burning even more intensely than before, but he let it go and nodded affectionately. If she wanted to face the initiation test when she was ill, there was nothing he could do to stop it. Anyway, it was admirable. Just what he expected of her.
Yang was struggling to contain her laughter, who knows why. Was Ruby the only sane person he had met in Beacon? This was getting ridiculous.
"If you're sure. Come on, then. It would be unpleasant to be punished or even expelled for not arriving on time."
Ruby nodded several times in a row. So quickly that his hood fell off and he had to tighten it again.
Jaune waited, standing on his assigned platform.
Ozpin was speaking, but he ignored his words. He had already heard everything he needed to know. The test would be in the Emerald Forest, teams of two were formed on the basis of first visual contact, in the middle of the trees there was a temple with relics and they had to retrieve them. That was surely how the teams would be completed.
As he had thought, it would be no problem for him. In fact, it would be almost relaxing.
He looked around, scanning the faces and bodies of those who might become his companions. Had any of them gone hunting in the land of the Grimm, with no one to depend upon, nobody that would save from their inexperience at the last moment? He doubted it. But he had done it, for him it had been a daily experience. He had been born again in
(let me out!)
that dirty darkness.
He looked at his hands. He moved them, squeezed them, cracked his knuckles. Yes. In comparison, this would be child's play.
He raised his head.
Ruby stood right beside him. She seemed worried, probably about the assignment of the teams. It crossed her mind that maybe she was thinking about him, his nightmares. That thought, at the same time, filled his chest with hope and a warm feeling that he could not identify and plunged him into absolute misery. The last thing he wanted was for her to suffer because of him.
He grabbed one of her hands and squeezed it tightly.
Ruby looked at him. Surprised.
He gave her a soft smile. And a firm nod. When he let go of her hand, she stood straighter. That made him smile.
The message he wanted to convey was simple. I am here for you. I will find you.
He heard the activation of the first of the platforms; saw how the student in question flew through the air. He took a deep breath, prepared for the launch. He really didn't like heights.
Within a minute, there was very little time left for his turn. A second after Ruby took to the air, wielding her personal weapon, a scythe, it finally arrived.
Shamefully, he was unable to suppress a scream.