III

"How do you know?" His voice trembled. He was only able to say something as stupid as that question, although it was far for the most important thing.

"My mother and your family died on the same day and, more or less, in the same area. That's suspicious. Until now there was nothing to link these events, but once something is discovered, no matter how small, anyone would have noticed. The first night... you whispered her name in your dreams. I've know everything since then."

Jaune threw himself at her feet. Ruby stepped back out of surprise. If not, he would have licked her boots.

He fixed his gaze on the floor. Shame was a word that didn't even come close to what he was feeling.

"Forgive me, I beg you. Don't abandon me."

"Don't talk like that. And don't lower yourself, don't bow your head as if I was superior to you. As I told you before, we will always be together. No matter what happens. It's my own promise, and I value it as much or more than you value yours. I've been acting normally these last few days, even though I knew the truth. Isn't that enough proof that it doesn't change anything?"

"It should." He swallowed. "It was my fault that... Summer died."

"You were just a child. You couldn't have saved her no matter how hard you tried. Be reasonable with yourself, don't punish yourself for something inevitable. Because of my mother's decision."

"Yes, she made a decision. And I didn't listen to her. Instead of running... I thought I could help her. No, I didn't. I didn't think, and that's why..."

The past jumped to the surface of his mind. The last barrier between memories and his fragile heart was that Ruby didn't know the truth, and a moment ago it had been torn down. In other words, he was helpless.

He thought he was hearing something. A strange sound, for which words were not enough. Again and again.

He thought it was the sound his sanity made as it collapsed.

He could bear it no longer. He didn't want to go on living like this.

"I'm not going to lie to you," said Ruby softly, as if talking to someone on the edge of a precipice, preparing to commit suicide. "I wanted to hate you, to despise you, hoping to get rid of the pain inside of me. Because I haven't gotten over my mother's death. And I don't think that's possible in the first place. But..."

"But nothing. You're not wrong. I am a disgusting and despicable being, and I only deserve disgust and contempt." He lifted his head. He dared to look her in the eyes. "I'll kill myself, okay? But first you have to promise to forgive me, because without that security... I'm afraid I'll be too cowardly to do it."

Ruby slapped him.

This is only natural, he thought. Allowing her to vent her anger on me is the least I can do. But she wasn't angry. Ruby had burst into the tears.

She knelt down and hugged him tightly. Even in that position, he could see her small shoulders trembling. And at the same time, the force within her did not escape him. She seemed more alive that everything that surrounded her.

Jaune's lips drew a bitter smile. He, protect her? Who did he think he was?

"Why?" he muttered without energy. "Whatever you say, I am the reason for your sadness and suffering. Crying for me doesn't make sense. Hate me."

Ruby backed off. She looked at him very closely. He felt her warm breath on his skin.

He drank from that image. Her red face. The gleam of her eyes because of the tears. The trembling smile she tried to maintain, more for his sake than for herself. Ah, how could she be so beautiful?

"It seems that instead of believing that's what you deserve, you're begging me to play along with it. That's it, isn't it?" She nodded to herself twice. "You're not interested in things 'being as they should be,' whatever that means. You want to be judged."

Jaune stopped breathing for a second.

"Maybe you're right."

"As I was saying, it is true that a part of me wants to blame you, but I know I can't. That you're just another victim. You've suffered enough, all these years. It's clear. Besides, if what you deserve is hate, what about my mother, who sacrificed her life for a bunch of strangers instead of making sure she came home? Should she hate her too? "

"No, of course not. Life is not so simple, Jaune. Before you entered my life, all I had were unanswered questions and a void in my chest. But now I know that my mother died as she lived: sacrificing herself to protect others. And I am proud of that from the bottom of my heart. So I should thank you."

A second passed.

"I hope my death will be like hers."

Something he may have realized from the beginning went in and out of his mind. A simple but devastating thought.

"We have to talk," Jaune said.

Blake turned on her heels and, for a few seconds, looked at him in an attentive and calculating manner, as if preparing to fight him. Then she relaxed. She forced herself to relax, more like.

That kind of reaction indicated that her past was probably similar to his own.

He couldn't help but remember the smell of blood that he detected when she came to visit him in the infirmary and tensed himself. But it was not the time for his paranoia; she had probably cut herself during training or something.

"What do you want from me?" she asked. Although she was controlling himself, he couldn't hide the slight tension in his voice.

Beacon's students passed around them, going back and forth, avoiding both by a wide margin. They were alone in a sea of people. Of sound. But this was not the best place to talk.

"If you have something to say, just say it. Don't waste my time."

Jaune grimaced.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what? I can't remember, be more precise and do me the favor of refreshing my memory."

Jaune took a deep breath. He looked away. He tried to put his thoughts and feelings in the right order, but no coherent phrase occurred to him. He did not even know where to begin.

Blake grabbed one of his wrists and dragged him into an empty class.

"Don't bother thinking about it. You can't give me an answer. Now I'll tell you why. You're not being honest. What you are feeling is that Ruby scolded you, that's all. But I don't care. Even indifference is better than hate. And to recognize that the Faunus don't deserve to be treated that way... well, that's more than I can ask of many members of your species. I am not praising you. Don't misunderstand me. But I won't hold a grudge against you either."

"Your species?"

Blake pulled off her bow in one fell swoop, unceremoniously.

It took him several seconds to register that she had cat ears. In other words, Blake was a Faunus. But it couldn't be true. He had seen her countless times without the bow, and an extra pair of ears was not something that could be overlooked.

"Can I touch them?"

"I don't like it, but okay. If that's what it takes to convince you."

Jaune extended a hand towards her slowly, as if he were afraid to touch her. In doing so, he made sure that they were undoubtedly real ears.

Impossible as it seemed, he could not deny the reality before his eyes.

"I don't understand," Jaune muttered, insecure.

"Don't worry, it's very simple. If I were seen all the time with a bow, people would become suspicious sooner or later, obviously. So I periodically cut off my ears."

"What?"

"Our animal parts regenerate quite quickly, so it's just a small sacrifice."

"How can you just talk about something like that so easily?

Blake frowned. He leaned back, leaning his lower back against the professor's table and his hands on it.

"Well, it's nothing. Many of my kind do the same. Others can't hide their nature even if they're willing to make that sacrifice, so I'm lucky, in a way. But still, it's almost funny, you know? I wonder how many of the people I've had a civil conversation with here would look at me with disgust, hatred, and even fear if I went out like this. Just the way I am."

Blake smiled sadly.

"There it is. The regret."

"Jaune, do you love me?"

The question remained floating in the air and slipped through the silence. Jaune turned around so that he could look at Ruby in the eye. He had grown accustomed to having her in his bed, so he was not embarrassed. Not because of that, anyway. But that question, so suddenly, and on top of that while being about to fall asleep...

What kind of person would have managed to keep his composure?

If it was possible, it was only for a person with a stronger will than his own.

He was taking a long time to respond, but it seemed that Ruby was not bothered by the prolonged silence, even though he felt as if he were drowning. Her expression was indecipherable. At least, again, for someone like him.

"I don't even know what love is," he admitted, "I'm not trying to avoid answering, don't get me wrong. You are the only person I care about in this world. Does this mean that I love you? That the line between simple affection and true love can be drawn so easily, so cleanly? I don't know. You told me that life is not that simple, and I think you're right."

Of course she was.

Jaune had lived for a decade with everything clear in his head, without even looking back for a second. And now he wasn't sure of anything.

"And do you... desire me?"

Jaune swallowed.

He had heard wrong. Surely. He made the mistake of letting his imagination run wild and hearing only what he wanted to hear.

"What did you say?

"What you heard," Ruby smiled. "You have to be very shameless to force a girl to repeat something like that, but I'll do it. It can't be helped." She brought her mouth next to his ear and whispered, "Do you want me? Yes or no."

Jaune looked at her from top to bottom, but he already knew the answer. He had known it from the first time he saw her, though he had tried to hide that fact even from himself. He felt a knot in his stomach, the heavy chain of shame. In other words, yes, he wanted her with all his soul. Her beauty was otherworldly. Who would not desire her?

"You are all I desire."

Ruby blinked once. Then she moved with blinding speed, no, beyond that, much more, with a speed that was impossible to achieve without the aid of a Semblance, and she spun to straddle him.

Jaune tried to back off, but there was no room. Nor desire within him.

Ruby leaned over until he could feel her breath on his skin, until tufts of her hair brushed his nose, until he could feel her small breasts crushed against his chest.

It was incredible what perspective did. Her silver eyes, ordinarily only spellbinding and beautiful, became everything to him. Yes, everything. He could not look away. And her hair, cascading over her face, covering her like a soft curtain, seemed blacker than the darkness among the stars. And its red tips, as intense as lava tunnels.

"No, Ruby. I am not the person you want me to be. And there's no chance of me becoming it."

"I'm not asking you for the world, Jaune, not even your heart. Just... a small sacrifice."

"You mean a leap of faith."

"Call it what you will," she said slowly and after a while, and kissed him.

Jaune was paralyzed. He didn't know how to respond. Something was missing, no matter how much he wanted it not to, no matter how much Ruby said otherwise, something was missing. That is why he look for it within her. In her lips, warm and soft. In her tongue, just as clumsy as his. In her caresses full of desire. In her hands, nervous but skilful.

This, she, was what he wanted. But he didn't feel a bit different.

Perhaps salvation was beyond his reach. Or worse, it had not been in the past, but it was already too late.

"I'm scared." Jaune started crying. "I'm so scared."

"Let go of your fear. You'll never be alone again," she promised once more, squeezing one of his hands.

Hands, small and clearly feminine, came out of the darkness and stopped on his neck. The woman behind the darkness strangled him with them, her incredible strength took his breath away.

He opened his eyes wide.

He struggled to breathe, but that was the only resistance he could put up.

His body was like the toy of a child. And now that the girl had grown tired of him, he could easily be broken and disposed of. A life like his, shaped by another person's hands, was worthless and meaningless. So the world would lose nothing when he closed his eyes for the last time.

He just wanted to disappear.

At that very moment, the soul left his body and he could see everything from a different perspective. Himself, eyes wide open, a smile on his face and tears drying on his cheeks. And the woman. Summer. A living corpse. A nest of worms that did not conserve even a modicum of her former beauty.

Seeing that he would gratefully die, that he would welcome that with open arms, she let him go.

"Jaune, come on, wake up. It's time to go."

He opened his eyes. Where was he? What was going on?

He lifted his head, still half asleep. His eyes were blurred, he could only see shapes. The person in front of him must have been Ruby, because of the voice. He blinked several times. He wiped his tears with the back of his hands. Even then he could not see well enough, but just enough to know that he had fallen asleep in class. And that the others were gone.

He tried to remember what had happened before that, what the class was about and where they had to go now, if they had to. He was not able to.

He had a headache. His forehead was beaded with sweat.

"Jaune, are you all right?" Ruby asked, getting closer to him to take a good look at him.

His breathing got out of control, but only partly because of the closeness of the person he loved. He had the strange and overwhelming sensation that he was still asleep, that this was also part of the nightmare. There was something strange in Ruby's eyes. Something inhuman. And the walls, were they not writhing as if they were melting?

"You're scaring me."

Jaune took a deep breath. Everything slowly went back to normal.

"I'm fine. I just had a nightmare."

Ruby's heart dropped visibly. As if she was the one to blame for his suffering, and not the other way around.

She was such a kind and selfless person that it was possible that she had convinced herself that nonsense was true.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Don't be sorry. You're not to blame for anything."

"I know. But still, I'm sorry. You shouldn't be going through this. My mother was a good person until the end, but she left you a burden too heavy to bear, and I can't look away from that.

Jaune rose from his seat.

"Too much for a seven-year-old, perhaps. But I am already a man."

"But..."

"Please don't insist." He clenched his teeth. "Don't you understand that you're trying to snatch away the only thing that holds me up? Without my mission, I will fall into a deep abyss. And I may never feel the sunlight on my face again."

Ruby stroked his cheek.

"Isn't my love enough?"

Jaune forgot how to breathe properly.

"That was not what I meant."

"You remember what we did last night, don't you?" Ruby's face gained the same tone as his hood. "At that time, we were not a maiden and her knight, we were not students, not even friends. Just a boy and a girl. That's enough. It's proof enough that we can be connected without something like an old promise in between us."

Jaune closed his eyes.

What they did last night should be etched into his mind, but his memories of it were blurred and distant, like images of an old dream. He could say if it would be better if he had dreamed that or not.

"Jaune..."

He opened his eyes again.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe... maybe even now I deserve to be happy."

Ruby's smile widened. The glow returned to her silver eyes.

"Of course you do." She put his hands on his chest and squeezed, twisting the fabric of the shirt into a ball. "Of course you do," she repeated, her voice trembling. "You are human and you deserve to be happy. We deserve to be happy. Don't ever forget that."

They went out of class together, holding hands. Two young people in love. Two young people like any other. They were still attracting attention. Partly because of Ruby's beauty, partly because of the skill she must have had if she had entered Beacon two years earlier than normal, and partly because he didn't match, they weren't what you would call the perfect couple. They were nothing like each other.

She didn't care about their stares. Nor about what they'll think.

Two young, normal people in love.

In another time and another place, maybe that could have been their true story. A wonderful and beautiful place like a meadow inundated with sunlight. But he couldn't spend his life thinking about what might have been.

Which reminded him of a 'little' detail.

"Humm, Ruby?"

She looked at him with a big smile, which showed her teeth.

"What's up?"

Jaune scratched his left ear.

"Well, when we did that, I didn't... you know, and I finished inside. Do you think you'll be all right? You didn't notice anything strange?"

Ruby blushed.

"I don't know. I didn't feel sick this morning. There's no way of knowing if I'm... pregnant or not so soon, I think. But hopefully not. I don't want to have children." She lowered her head, went quiet. "At least not while I'm still at the academy."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't make that face, will you? I wanted it too. I got carried away too. And it was right and beautiful, a moment worth remembering. Let's leave it at that."

"All right."

Ruby squeezed his hand again.

"Yeah. Everything will be fine."

Jaune suddenly stopped. His instinct had informed him that something was wrong. Then his eyes went to work to find out what it was. Slowly and carefully, they passed through the faces of the people he could call friends, and the girl he loved.

There was silence at the table, but not a kind and warm silence, but a heavy one. Yes, something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. Could it be...?

"What's going on here?" Jaune asked in a quiet voice.

The occupants of the table moved their heads to look at him, they reacted as if they had just noticed his presence. Ruby did not move. Her head was bowed, eyes fixed on the table.

Something bad. Very bad.

A chill ran down his back.

Jaune sat down in his seat, leaving the tray on the table, trying hard not to notice his hands were trembling.

I am going to be a father. He thought the idea would bring him joy, or at least some sort of satisfaction. He was wrong. It only increased the intensity of his tremors, it only managed to weld his throat.

Someone like him as a father? What a bad joke.

"What's going on here?" The boy repeated a little more strongly.

Ruby finally looked at him. She opened his eyes wide. Until now, she hadn't realized he was there. Another bad sign. He tried to think of other possible explanations.

"Nothing. It's all right."

"Your eyes are not very convincing. And your friends aren't even trying to pretend that everything is fine. I suggest you follow his example. It would be best for everyone."

"Okay, something's wrong. But I won't tell you what it's all about."

"Just me?" He couldn't hide the pain in his voice.

"To nobody, but especially not to you."

Jaune was silent for a while, trying to process those harsh words and get closer to the truth. He had stopped deluding himself that Ruby was pregnant. The problem was different.

"You said we can be connected without an old promise in between us, and this is how you show it. If the only thing you're willing to give me is your body, let's end this. This is not what I wanted."

Someone hit the table.

He glanced sideways. Yang. As expected of her

"You did what?" She asked, clenching her teeth like a wild animal. "I'm going to kill you."

"Shut up, Yang," Ruby ordered. "Because of you everyone is watching. Don't make this harder for me than it already is, will you?" She looked at him again. "Every word I said, I meant it. I love you, Jaune, and I'm willing to give you anything. But I love you precisely because I know you very well. So my lips will remain sealed. I hope that, in time, you will come to understand it and be able to forgive me."

"You're the one who has to understand. Forgive you? I am not the kind of person who can reproach you for anything. Even if you betrayed me, even if you killed me with your own hands, I wouldn't even be able to feel anything like resentment toward you."

Ruby smiled sweetly.

"I know. That's the problem. "

Jaune put a hand to his head. It hurt. A lot.

"Tell me, what can I say to her?" he whispered, 'When someone finally kills me and these creatures drag me down to hell, what kind of excuse can I give her? That I was too weak? That I surrendered without resistance because what really matters to me is not duty, but to please you?"

Ruby bit her lower lip. She bowed his head.

"That's not fair."

"The truth is the truth. Justice, injustice, good and evil... It has nothing to do with that." He knelt at her feet, like a man waiting to be knighted, or like a knight before his princess, and took her hands in his own. "Someone has hurt you. And you don't want to tell me because you are afraid I will kill him, right?"

Ruby was quiet for a long time.

"That's right. Don't even try to pretend you wouldn't be able to. I know you too well."

"I would do it. And it wouldn't be the first time I've killed a being who's not a Grimm. But remember: I'm not free. To me, your word is law. All you have to say is "don't kill," whoever that person is, whatever they did, and I won't do it."

Ruby looked him in the eye for the first time since the start of this conversation.

"Cardin." She sighed. "Cardin and his team have been bullying me. For weeks now. Since... As you can imagine, since shortly after the fight you had with him."

Those words made his blood freeze. They were like a declaration of death. Not for those children, but for him.

Weeks, and he hadn't noticed anything.

Useless. You're fucking useless!

"Why? I know how strong, fast and skillful you are. Not even the four of them together can stand up to you."

Maybe it was a mistake to say that. Ruby gripped her skirt tightly. Her hands were shaking. Maybe because fear, maybe anger. Most likely it was both.

"I know. Do you think I don't know? It's humiliating. I'm not a child anymore. I don't live with fear and insecurity. I don't look to see if there's a monster under the bed every time I go to sleep. My job is to fight real monsters. I'm good at it. In fact, I'm better than most. And yet, when I have to face another human being... When I have to deal with teasing, pushing, and harsh voices, my legs tremble, my heart stops, and I can't say a word. And yet..."

Jaune wiped Ruby's tears with his fingertips. Affectionately.

He didn't feel like himself at all. He had the strange sensation that his body belonged to someone else and he was just borrowing it.

"Don't cry. And don't worry. I'll finish this today."

He looked around.

Cardin was looking at them.

Smiling openly, like a king watching the death of some homeless people by the side of the road. He believed he was in control.

That did not last long.

His horrible sense of satisfaction turned to concern. That was to be expected. He had seen his true face, one he had not even shown Ruby.

The face of an animal. A creature, much to his regret recently, no less brutal and savage than the Grimm.

Jaune stood and made his way to Cardin.

"What do you intend to do?" Ruby asked.

"Don't worry."

Cardin smiled crookedly and strode out to meet him. Jaune realized he was a little taller than he was, even if only by a little. This bothered him. He could feel his breath. This made him furious, for it meant he was still breathing. He did not deserve to live.

"What is it, Jauney boy?"

"Right after recess we have class with Goodwitch. Then you'll face me. If you're not only capable of hurting a girl who doesn't even want to fight you, that is."

Cardin's eyes narrowed.

"As you wish."

"I'll give you one last warning. I am a monster. There is no one who can stop me, much less someone like you. Whatever happens, I always stand back up. I just keep moving forward. So surrender. Kneel and beg for forgiveness. Stop the blustering, you know you don't have a choice; you'll only succeed in getting humiliated by me in public for the second time."

Cardin laughed. "Excuse me, so I have to humiliate myself to avoid humiliation? In what world does that make sense?"

"Your defeat will be more humiliating. I will make sure of that."

"Stop it already. It's pathetic how you're trying to intimidate me. It's not that simple, you know? I'm not a little kid, and ours isn't going to be a schoolyard squabble. I'm a monster, I'll kill you... Is that all you know how to say? For your information, I haven't been resting on my laurels in the last few weeks. I have prepared myself and..."

"Shut your mouth. Preparing? Is that what you call harassing a person who is too kind to give you what you deserve?"

Cardin frowned.

"Just so you know, I didn't do that because I thought I couldn't get back at you properly. Don't misunderstand me. That day, you made fun of me in every way, at no point did you fight seriously, and yet you were able to defeat me. It's the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me. I can't forgive you for that. And all the students in this academy know which button to push if they want to make you angry."

"I see. You know what? Congratulations, you've done it. The next time we meet, I'll crush you like the insect you are. I'll make sure you won't dare to raise your head in my presence anymore, that this fight, if you can call it that, will be the last one."

"It's as if you've read my mind, Jauney boy."

Author's Note

It has taken me longer than I thought, but I have finally reached the starting line of this story. This is kind of a spoiler, I suppose, but the next part will be a big turning point. I can't wait to write it.

Or rather, rewrite it. And then translate it. But well.

As I said —more or less— the last time I updated, I would appreciate it if any Beta Reader wanted to work with me on this project.