Still here for U

Switch- 6lack

It was eight, or nine o'clock it didn't matter at this point. The drinks in his system were hitting him worse than he could remember or tried to remember. The red ambiance from the bar lights he had been focusing on helped him stay awake. Its constant buzzing was putting him in a lull.

The bartender, worked at a glass just as long as he was staring at the lights about his establishment. His balding hair and smokey grey eyes shot him a hollow annoyed look when Shadow rapped his knuckles on the bar top. He didn't look at the bartender he just kept his eyes on those buzzing lights. The bartender knew what he wanted, there was no reason to break his focus on something so intriguing.

He scoffed at him then finally put down the glass. "Don't you think you've had enough?" His voice suggested that that was a statement more than a question. Then again it was ten minutes after closing and he was the last customer.

Shadow looked to the man, though he could barely feel it his jaw clenched in agitation. When he let out a breath Shadow could feel it melt away, the alcohol in his system mellowed him out. His body was a little bit too loose to be getting so worked up. Besides, the last time he was at a bar he got the shit beat out of him.

So he said. "Thoo," Shadow shook the alcohol from his tongue. "You are correct sir, please," he pulled his card out and slid it to him. "Close my tab."

This time when he left the bar he wasn't being kicked or beaten. Instead, he made his way down the sidewalk. Hands in his coat pocket and the sounds of his black and white chuck taylors skidding off the pavement. It had rained earlier. You could still smell the rain in the air, its wet aroma filling his nose and lungs. The fresh air helped him to get his internal boat to stop rocking. He really did indulge himself in too much alcohol. This was more apparent when he stumbled into a trash can that he would have easily avoided if sober. The loud crashing of the trashcan sent a wave of pain through his head that blinded him.

"You will wake the alley cats with all that ruckus."

Shadow had to rub has his eyes before he could get himself together. When he did look up he was shocked to see his friend. More so with the way she was dressed.

She was dressed in an oversized blue hoodie with a golden star on its chest. Shadow almost thought she wasn't wearing anything below her hoodie until she moved and he saw the blue shorts. The light is shown down on her like an opening act for a play, the spotlight was all for her.

Shadow shook his head to make sure she wasn't some construct of his drunken state, clearly, it didn't work because she was now crossing arms at him with a scowl on her face she had been having since he returned back to Beach city.

Somehow that look on her face was enough to sober him up pretty good. Or it might have been the memory of her beating him up in an alleyway after he had already gotten beaten up in that same alley. Regardless of the circumstance that was his first encounter with the gem.

"You are making me scared with that look on your face. Even more so the attire you're wearing. I think I've only seen you in normal clothes twice? I think?" Shadow held back a beer flavored belch with a fist. He could taste the bile rising up threatening to be another surprise tonight.

Pearls scowl disappeared and were replaced with concern. Even that quickly vanished. "Jasper was worried about you. Her behavior quickly turned for the worse and I was forced to volunteer to find you… for her sake." The way she trailed off wasn't so odd. Jasper was known to blow things out of proportion, especially when it came to him. He shouldn't have left without telling her. Honestly, Shadow just needed a drink, to cool his nerves.

"Walk with me Shadow." Her voice was soft like silk when she spoke.

Shadow wished he wasn't as drunk so he didn't look like a fool when was with her. He never liked her seeing him like this, weak. "I apologize for making you worried."

"I was not worried." Her voice went from silk to stone.

This made him frown, drunk agitation must have shown on his face because her own began to match. Pearl put a hand on her hips. "You're assumptions are without proof. I don't believe you have any facts to prove that I was worried about you Shadow." Even with how dark it was he could still see her cheeks light up a shade of blue.

Even for a gem, their holographic bodies betray them. Seeing as how Shadow was half gem he himself, his body was just the same. Shadow walked towards her, this time in a straight line without hitting any trash cans. When he got close enough to her he could see her hair put up in a bun, a few strands escaping to fall loosely, touching her lips delicately. "Come on then Pearl. You gonna tie me up for old times sake?"

His words only made her blush more. She took a step back. "N-no," she stuttered, clearly taken back by his words. "You are being inappropriate Shadow." Pearl turned away from him to hide her face. "I only wanted to make sure you weren't getting yourself killed, or worse."

The last part made him chuckle. It was either the alcohol or just his stupidity to think of old memories he wishes he could forget. "Or worse." The words echoed back to him again, this time in Jasper's voice. His back began to ache first, thoughts of Holly Blue Agate and the torture she put him through still fresh like it happened yesterday. Like before his hands started to shake so he put them in his pocket.

Pearl must have noticed cause her face changed to worry again. "I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."

"Now who's the one who is making assumptions." The tone in his voice did little so he faked a smile that did little to convince her judging from her body language. Pearl was to smart for her own good, he was too stubborn for his. Shadow stepped to the side of her, he gestured to her to link arms with him. When she didn't he nodded his head in insistence. "Come on, I don't bite that hard."

Pearl looked like she wanted to say something but again her body betrayed her. Her face lit up a blazing blue. Still, she linked her arm with his. "I assume you have something in mind?"

Shadow smiled. "I got something in mind."

Shadow spread his arms out with a big smile. "Welcome to the theatre." A big goofy smile on his face made him look like a child.

Pearl wanted to laugh but she thought it would be rude. So instead she said, "don't you mean a movie theater? When you say theatre you make it sound as if we are going to see a classical showing of some sort."

Shadow rolled his eyes. He still wasn't sober enough for her smart corrections. Especially for the anxiety, he was feeling. The last time he had gone to the movies he almost died. Shadow must have been lost in thought because she was suddenly staring at him. Those pools called eyes seemed to search his soul. He could feel himself drowning.

"Hey uhh why don't we skip this? I'm not feeling so comfortable." He coughed awkwardly. Pearl glared at him.

Pearl put her hands in her pockets. "You're acting weird Shadow." How she sounded both irritated and worried baffled him, nevertheless he was giving himself away.

"Shadow why were you even at that establishment." Pearl pointed to a bench next to them. "Sit," she commanded, "tell me what is going on me."

Shadow took a deep breath and sighed. When he didn't move fast enough he could see a flash of annoyance in her eyes. "Alright alright," he said irritated himself. He sat like the good dog he was. "I just wanted some time for myself Pearl, don't overthink things."

Pearl leaned against a tree across from him. She chuckled behind her sleeve. "This is coming from the man who uses lightning to turn the room light on."

"Hey what's the point of having cool powers if you can't turn a simple light bulb on. Besides the switch was too far away."

"It is right above your head. That is clearly within arms reach." Pearl sounded serious but the smile on her face showed him otherwise.

Shadow leaned back. He was done with trying to hold back his real feelings with Pearl. He trusted her, there was no reason for pride to be in the way of being honest. "Look just relax." Shadow ran a hand over his stubble, as much as he tried to keep his face clean shaven he was doing a bad job as of late. "You're right I have been overthinking. About the war, the war that is coming."

Pearl finally stopped looking at him in that way she did. Instead, she sat down next to him, proper like.

"So that's what the big bad Shadow is worried about," Pearl stifled another laugh. Those eyes looked at him, amusement dripping from them. "I like to feel like I've known you for a long time. You fought a gem with me, I have seen you grow into something that I've never seen before."

Shadow wished he had a drink in his hand cause he wasn't in the mood to be sober for this type of conversation. Nevertheless, he responded. "Grow into what?"

She blinked, something in her eyes changed, then she said: "Someone broken." Her tone once again soft as silk.

That made his heart jump. "Broken huh," Shadow shook his head in his hands. "You know Pearl I really don't think this right now." The anger in his voice to her back.

Pearl grabbed his wrist as he was standing up. Pearl wasn't so strong as to really hold him back but it was just enough to get him to stop moving. "Don't leave Shadow I-"

"Was making a healthy observation?" He cut through her voice like butter.

Shadow turned to fully face her. "Tell me, Pearl. What is healthy about being tortured? Have you ever been chained up by your arms? Whipped till your mind just starts to go numb from the pain?" She didn't say anything, only a look of shock on her face was his reaction, and that pissed him off. "Did I tell you what they did to me on homeworld? Every single day they made me fight other gems, warrior gems. I was beaten and put into a cage where I couldn't even see the light. They made me fight gems for sport, I killed… so many gems for their entertainment."

When he clenched his fists he could almost feel the crumbles of those gems between his fingers again. Their remnants disappearing into nothing in that fighting pit surrounding by the conglomerate gem society.

When he was done talking he realized that his whole body was tense. Pearl still, stared at him with those damn eyes. So different from Jaspers that it made him worry that he would drown again.

"Please," Pearl slid a hand into his, "sit down and relax."

Shadow clenched his fist but abruptly let go. He wasn't going to continue to put Pearl through any more bullshit. So he sat down, again. There was a long awkward silence that he didn't know how to break through.

Suddenly Pearl grabbed his hand. One hand brushed his face lightly so that he would look at her. "I didn't mean to cause offense Shadow. No, I've never been put in that situation. I cannot imagine what they put you through Shadow or that pain. That does not mean I do not understand that no matter how much courage you display, or how many blows you take for your friends, that underneath all of that bravado you are only just a human." Pearl smiled at him. It warmed his heart.

"Pearl I.." Shadow wasn't really good at apologies but he still said, "I'm sorry. My attitude toward you was rude. And-" Shadow had to take a deep breath before he continued. "And I'm sorry that I betrayed you. You Pearl, you saved me when I had no hope left. I was in a dark place and felt that the answer to fixing it was to kill myself. You saved me from making a mistake I wouldn't have come back from. Then I come back here with the very same person that caused that pain on me in the first place. I can understand how that would make you feel." Before she could object he wrapped his arms around her, he took a deep breath and the smell of the ocean and vanilla filled his nose. He didn't realize that Pearl smelled so good.

Pearl returned the gesture to his surprise and hugged him back. "You're my friend Shadow. The only way you could have betrayed me if you didn't come back to us, no matter what happens in the future you return to me- to us. Just come back." Pearl trembled in his arms so he hugged her tighter.

Shadow wanted to say something reassuring but he didn't. He knew himself, he didn't know what was coming in the future. So he made no promise, only a silent prayer to God that he could meet Pearls expectations. Even that he could not promise.

"Come on let's get back. I think all this mopping sobered me up." Shadow said to her, chuckling at how much better he felt knowing she didn't hate him.

Pearl smiled at him. She stood up and outstretched a hand to him. "Why don't we head back. Let go show the family that you're alright."

He took her hand. "Only if you promise to have a drink with me." Shadow laughed, Pearl didn't. So instead he started to run, he knew Pearl and from experience, he knew if he didn't go with her the solution was a first class ticket on the pain train.

Behind him, Pearl yelled at him to stop but he didn't. He only laughed as she did when he teased her, Shadow wasn't ready to go back just yet. Not when the night was still so young. Not when his heart felt a little bit more fuller.