A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.

The Warper News Network (the series)

February 2019

(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers.

"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing Erasa." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set.

Erasa sat in a business set priming herself before putting away the makeup.

"Hii…everyone. Sorry that your usual anchors are not here. They said something about all needing vacations…off-planet. So, it's just me here with the camera crew." Erasa said sweetly.

"And it's my time to shine!" Sharpner said sitting down next to her. "I can be more than the cameraman!"

"I do not think so!" Broly (the current and canon version) said grabbing Sharpner to throw off-screen. "Get back behind the camera. It is my first day on the job!"

Broly was all prim and proper in a suit that barely contained his physique and Erasa was shamelessly ogling him.

"I am Broly, and this is Warper News Network. We start off in exciting news in that the smash hit, Anime Confessions, is coming for a Season 3. Everyone's favorite barman, Ryo Blackthorn, had apparently decided to stay around for another season before leaving for Conton City citing concerns for his best friend's health. Apparently, Trunks and Mai caught Space Crabs." Broly said flatly.

"Space Crabs? Is it basically crabs?" Erasa asked confused.

Broly blinked and said, "Oh no, not like those crabs. It's a disease when someone gets from being in contact with a sick crab-like species, usually the Cerebrocrustaceans. You wound up growing crab like lumps around your legs, genitals, and arms. They pulsate and throb having pockets of electricity in them…it's unpleasant. My father got it once…wasn't pretty." Broly said sympathcially.

"Gross. In other news, prominent Mirai Yoshi has apparently been revealed to be suffering from burnout. Poor oracle had to be taken off active duty at the urging of his friends and family. Rest easy, young oracle." Erasa said. "And as for Ryo, we do not have confirmation who will show up, but he has confirmed that the first episode of the third season will star an old face from the last two seasons returning. And that Season 3 could be anywhere between 15-20 episodes long!"

"I'm betting that it's Goku coming back." Broly remarked.

"Why Goku? You'd think Android 18 has more reason to return? Or maybe Shinji?" Erasa remarked.

"Isn't Shinji dead?" Broly said.

"Actually, I'm a ghost." Ghost Shinji said appearing from nowhere. "And I'm haunting you."

Broly screamed and tried to blast Shinji, but he was a ghost. The blast phased through Shinji and blew a hole in the roof. A piece of it fall and conked Erasa on the head leaving fall on the ground bleeding from the head.

"….I guess I'll have to cut the broadcast off here to get Erasa to a doctor." Broly said cradling her and flying out through the hole.

"And I get to close out the show." Sharpner said getting in front of the camera only for the feed to cut out. "OH, SON OF AN EMERALD WHORE!"

(A/N: Short and sweet, and most of the newscast is in hiding. Seems our new enemy has shaken them. On the sweet side, Broly! He's now our newest newscaster! Seeing this was rather short, there may be a part 2 in the future. Later!)