A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.

(A/N: Warning, minor references as usual to my other works.)

The Warper News Network (the series)

Late July 2019

(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers, who's lately been rather reserved.

"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing Kale and Male Kale." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set.

The set actually looked rather nice and was completely repaired. However, it was obvious that they were not in the usual locations, and the heat was getting to them.

"Greetings, warpers from our new location in sunny West City." Broly said chipper.

Kale was not so much and said, "It's so hot…."

Kale was basically close to doing the newscast naked as she was down to her lacy underwear and makeup.

"Kale, you shouldn't be doing the newscast like this." Broly said sweating a bit of sweat off.

Kale got off and walked up off the set to change leaving Broly to go on his own.

"In recent bounty news, the rising star 10th rank warper, Desmond Bishops, has risen to 31,000,000 for a rather rare set of complaints. Combating the sex trafficking that warpers go through to get their pleasured delight. While he is not the first to do so, he is the first 10th level warper to actively take part in efforts." Broly said as Kale returned to desk in a red micro-bikini.

"Is Desmond intending on making himself a target for everyone to maim him and who he loves?" Kale said dryly. "Is he suicidal?"

Broly is politely trying not to stare at Kale as he gestured to one of their reporters at Planet Creation with Warper Elite Council. The camera swapped to said location and it was chaos. Poor Kasumi II looked like she wanted to hide as she was bombarded with questions. Cheelai stepped forward.

"Ahem, I'm Cheelai from Warper News Network. What is your stance given that a tenth rank warper has gotten involved in this mess?" She asked.

Kasumi got up and asked who. Once Cheelai gave her the name, Kasumi twitched as her warper energy flared strong enough to repel everyone back. She got up, told open a open, and it was clear to everyone that she was going to "talk" to him.

"Well I guess she's going to talk to him." Jeremy said quietly. "So, we're taking no more questions?!"

"But what about the rash of attacks by Pinkamena?" Another reporter asked. "Are they being brushed aside?"

"Actually no…Pinkamena's is not going to be an issue for a while. Apparently caught….cancer of the ass" Bat-Mite said dryly.

The camera cuts back to the studio to the shocked Broly and Kale. Kale just broke down laughing as Broly tried speaking only for her to keep laughing harder. After a few minutes, Kale got up to her chair and wiped a tear from her eye.

"But Kale, we can cure cancer now." Broly said. "So, it's not for long."

"True, but anal cancer is a bit more painful to deal with. Plus, it is expensive to treat." Kale remarked. "So, Broly? Can we wrap this up?"

"FUCK!" Caulifla spat as the soot covered and naked Saiyan walked on camera. "The AC is broken."

"Why are you naked?" Broly asked with twitching eyes.

"It's too hot to wear anything in this heat, and besides not like none of our viewers haven't went up to look up lewd pictures of me anyway. Oh, and I forgot to mention that Adrian Jase has apparently made Megan Blackthorn (nee Griffin)'s home universe to make it a brothel enslaving most of the women of note." Caulifla said before walking off.

"Wait, since she's a part of the Blackthorn clan, doesn't that make verse Blackthorn turf?" Broly asked.

"Technically, no. It is under common law, but given the fact that the Outsiders are a spacefaring bunch, they didn't stay long enough to claim it. Plus, the Jase family was actually there first. Jerome could possibly raise issue with it as he is the heir, but as long as Adrian lives, Jeremy can't legally do anything about it." Kale said dry like the air. "Now we end this broadcast. See ya space warpers!"

The camera cuts out.

(A/N: Better late than never. Desmond is in definite trouble as he's got Kasumi wanting to knock him into next week! Will he live through that? Find out in DSX62415's Evangelion: You Shall (not) Win This Time.)