A/N: Yay! First update of this year!

Gaahh! I'm lacking motivation these days T_T Come on girl! Write! Write! Write!

~~Levi Ackerman~~

I'm washing the dishes after dinner when my phone buzzes with a new text.

From: Shitty Glasses
Don't be mean to him!

Huh?! What the fuck does that mean?

It's probably that four eyes messing up the sender again. I shake my head, dismissing the matter, but not before punching out a reply.

To: Shitty Glasses
Idiot! Stop sending me other people's texts!

To: Shitty Glasses
And get new glasses since you obviously can't read with the ones you have!

Usually, it's followed by Hange sending a text saying sorry which they obviously don't mean. Or if I'm having a particularly bad day, I'm graced with Hange's incorrigible teasing instead of an apology which of course, makes my already sour mood even worse.

But today is different.

Today, Hange doesn't reply.

I find myself wondering why that is. What in the world could be keeping Hange fucking Zoe from making my life a living hell since that's what seems to be their sole mission in life. Then I realize with a grimace that I'm fussing over useless things, and it makes me feel even more annoyed with myself.

Within the next half an hour, I manage to pry Izzy off her phone and make her go to bed. Once that's done, I let out a sigh. Not frustrated or tired. Just feeling the relief of passing another not-so-bad day. A day without too much workload, without Izzy being difficult or rebellious. I'm not kidding. That young woman gets too much of those teenage hormones flooding her system sometimes, and I'm the one who ends up dealing with the consequences, which mostly consist of her rapid mood swings and a general disagreement to anything and everything I say.

Life of a thirty four years old single father can be quite complicated at times.

It's not until I get in the sanctuary of my own room that my phone starts ringing. I pick it up from the bedside table and squint at the unknown number.

Who the fuck is calling at this hour?

I have half a mind to ignore it or maybe reject the call. But then again, it could be someone I know. Not that I know a lot of people. But it could be an emergency and in that case I probably shouldn't be ignoring the call.

Tch! What the hell.

"Hello."

I'm met with dead silence.

"Hello!" I say again after a long pause.

This time, there's a gasp. So there is actually a human being on the other side. I was beginning to think someone accidentally dialed a wrong number and forgot their cell.

Who the fuck is this? Calling someone and then gasping into the phone.

What a creep!

"If you've got nothing to say, I'm hangin–"

"L-Levi!"

My breath hitches.

T-This voice!

It's been more than three fucking months since I last heard his voice. And yet, I recognize it immediately. The tone trudging just between childishness and adulthood, the breath which I know smells almost like fresh rain, the same nervousness in his voice when he says my name.

Memories of a certain teenager flood my mind, reminding me of a sun that is warm but not too warm. Of a home that is familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. Of vibrancy, courage and honesty. And suddenly my heart is beating so loudly that I'm afraid it might break out of my ribcage any second.

"Eren…?" it feels weird to call his name after all this time, and I curse myself for loving the way it rolls down my lips.

His reply is a muffled whimper.

I grip the phone tighter, pressing it so close that my ear hurts, but I don't give a damn. The sudden realization of how much I missed his voice – how much I missed him – overwhelms me and I have to lean against the wall because my knees are suddenly too weak to carry my weight.

For a long time, we say nothing.

But then I'm getting impatient to hear something – anything – other than just his harsh breathing and I'm opening my mouth to form the words, when my eyes fall on the picture.

It's sitting peacefully on the bedside table, right beside me.

Staring at me with obvious mockery.

A picture of me with Isabel.

I snap out of my daze, cursing inwardly at my apparent lack of self-control and tear the phone away from my ear. It rests on my palm as I watch it like it's some kind of venomous insect, ready to poison me with its sting.

On the other side, Eren Jaeger waits.

With a shaking hand I bring the phone up again, this time allowing it to barely touch my ear.

"How the fuck did you get my number?" I say between clenched teeth.

His resulting laugh is so heartbreaking and empty that I backtrack on my next retort.

"I told them you wouldn't wanna talk to me."

Them?

I close my eyes and punch the wall behind me out of sheer frustration.

Of course! Of course Hange gave him my number!

Now that absurd text I got is finally making sense.

Not that my sudden enlightenment is making the current situation any better.

I need to stop this. The reason I refused to give him my number in the first place was so I never have to face situations like this. This… this is dangerous.

"Levi…" he says when my silence is too prolonged.

Dangerous. Dangerous. Dangerous.

"We shouldn't be talk–"

"Please!"

His hushed scream startles me mid-sentence.

"Please Levi!" Why does he sound so fucking broken? "I p-promise this is the first and last time. I'll… I'll delete your number after this. I'll never bother you again! Just please! Don't hang up on me right now…"

He says all those words in one breath, nearly panicking. But the last sentence is barely a whisper, begging and pleading. As if he's afraid of something.

What in the world happened?

It's been three months already. Surely he's still not hung up on me, right? Shouldn't teenagers be wild and carefree and easily moving on? And even if it was about me, wouldn't it be more logical if he'd tried to contact sooner? While the memories were still fresh?

Why now?

"Levi…" his broken voice brings me back to present. "Talk to me… please!"

When I open mouth to speak again, what comes out instead of his name is the stupid nickname I gave him. "Brat…"

And he breaks into sobs.

It's as if I can physically feel the pain. My fingers itch with the need to do something. I feel this desperate need to pull the boy away from his miseries, no matter what they are. I want to hold him in my arms and hide him away from the rest of the world. I want to–

My own thoughts scare me. What the fuck is happening?! I can't be losing control so easily!

I slide down the wall and clench my fist over my lap, afraid I might lash out.

It's draining me inside out. The dilemma, the confusion. Anger and frustration at myself. And at the same time care and protectiveness for the boy. Conflicting emotions jumble together inside my head and for a moment all I wanna do is let go of everything and run!

But then, I hear him again.

The whimpers he's trying to muffle. The devastating wails that rip from his mouth. The rapid sound of air gushing in and out, as if he's hyperventilating. And nothing else matters anymore.

Other than this one precious green eyed boy.

"Sshh… it's okay. It's okay", I lower my voice and whisper softly. "I'm here Eren. I'm right here."

"D–Don't–"

"I won't hang up."

He exhales loudly. And by the muffled sounds I'm hearing, he's probably shoved his palm over his mouth to mask the noise.

"It's alright", I don't know what I'm doing anymore. All I know is that Eren is in pain, and I can't stand it. "You can cry. It's alright."

I take a harsh breath and pull my knees closer to bury my face between them. Because Eren has finally let go and every single sob, every single whimper is like physical torture to me. I grit my teeth and listen. My eyes are clenched shut. My knuckles have turned white from how tightly I'm gripping the phone. And I listen.

His anguish.

His pain.

His torment.

I hear all of it.

After what seems like ages, he slowly calms down. The loud sobs turn into soft sniffles and the whimpers give way to short sighs.

"Thanks", he says after clearing his throat.

The next words leave my lips so naturally that I'm not even able to process what the hell I'm saying before it's already out.

"I'd hold you in my arms if you were here."

… Fuck!

The other side goes unusually quiet, and I hold my breath.

Waiting.

"I'd like that", he says softly.

What am I doing? All this time of restraining my thoughts, and now I'm blurting out what I definitely shouldn't even be thinking.

Well, fuck that!

I'll think about those complicated things later, and maybe regret my words too. But now, at this moment, I'm gonna do everything I can to make this boy feel better.

Even if it means being honest to the deepest core.

"Of course you will, you spoiled little shit."

Perhaps the rational part of my brain has completely shut down, because my tone becomes light and playful, with an underlying hint of carefully hidden fondness.

Since when did I become such a sap?

He sighs loudly. Thankfully it sounds relaxed.

I get up on my feet and walk over to the bed, placing a pillow in front of the headboard and resting my upper body against it. The sound of even breathing continues on the other side. But no word is spoken.

The furrow between my brows creases further. What could have happened to make a loudmouth like him so quiet?

I don't press the issue. From what I can gather, he's most definitely tense and distressed about the whole thing. The last thing he needs is someone else pushing him even more.

I start talking for the both of us; and since I'm so glaringly pathetic at small talk, it turns into a monologue about my daily routine which is, needless to say, boring and dull compared to a seventeen year olds life.

He doesn't seem to mind though.

So I continue. Being talkative is not my strongest suit, especially when the topic is my own life. But I keep going anyway. I tell him how office was less irritating today since Hange was slumped with work and had little time to bother me. I tell him how Izzy was late to wake up and we had to rush to make her reach school in time. And how I didn't have time to prepare a lunch box for myself today which was a disaster because I obviously will in no circumstances eat in the office cafeteria which I strongly believe to be no less than a germ paradise. He chuckles at that and I can't help the little upturn of my lips. Then – for lack of a better topic – I talk about Erwin, about how he needs to get laid soon so he stops looking constipated every time Mike visits.

"Mike Zacharias?!" he asks, surprised. "Erwin likes him?"

Crap! I forgot how smitten this boy is with those band members.

"Yes. Now shut up. You never heard me say anything."

His voice sounds less serious and more amused when he says "Okay Levi". I don't point it out.

Eventually, my stock of words comes to an end and we again end up in silence. I lean my head back as far as I can and close my eyes.

"Feel better?" I ask quietly.

He stays silent for a long time, and I begin to think maybe this wasn't the right time to ask. But then–

"Yeah. Thanks." He replies in an equally quiet tone. And even then, I can sense the grief creeping back in his tone.

Fuck! I made him sad again.

"I… uh…" I'm at a loss. What do I say to make him feel better?

"It's alright Levi", his voice is unusually calm when he replies. Somehow, he's sensed my hesitation. "It's not like you can keep the thoughts away from me forever."

I want to though. I think stubbornly.

My mouth remains shut.

"Thanks for talking to me", he speaks again. "I… I don't think I could've handled this on my own right now. But you helped me out… and now…" he takes a breath, as if bracing himself for something. "I'm still scared… and… in denial too, I guess. But now… I have to stop running away from reality."

I listen quietly without interrupting him, even though hundreds of questions swim around in my head.

What reality?

What happened?

Why are you scared?

And then, his next words answer all of them.

"Levi, please pray for him. My dad… h-he was a really good man. I never really understood how important he is to me until I… until I lost him." He sighs, voice growing quieter and quieter. "I wish I'd realized it while he was still alive."

Huh?! What?

Wait. Does it mean…

"Eren–"

"Thanks Levi. Take care."

-Click-

I don't move for a long time. His words keep repeating themselves over and over in my ears.

Shit!

I don't think I've ever been this frantic to call Hange. My fingers are trembling as I frustratingly try to focus and search my phone for their contact. I almost end up calling Isabel accidentally – not my fault her contact is right below Hange's – but somehow manage to disconnect at the last moment.

I curse loudly and try again.

Hange picks up after one ring, as if they were expecting it.

Maybe they really were.

"Levi!" the cheerful and bubbly tone I'm used to hearing sounds resolute and calm. "I've already talked to Erwin. He'll come in the morning to pick Izzy up. She can stay with him until we come back."

Huh?

"Hange, wha–"

"Hold on!"

I hear distinct voices in the background, one of which sounds very much like that serious faced junior in office who follows around Hange. What's her name? Nifa… something.

I'm still in the middle of trying to remember her full name when Hange's back on line.

"Alright. I've settled things in the office. Everything will be taken care of while we're absent. Be ready within 7 tomorrow. I'll pick you up on the way."

"Wait a minute!" I growl. "What the hell is going on?! What's all this about?"

Hange becomes silent. "Levi…"

"What?"

"Didn't Eren call you?"

I suddenly remember why I called Hange in the first place. "Yes. He– That's why I–"

"I'm leaving for Shiganshina tomorrow morning", they cut me off. Then, a bit hesitantly add–

"You're coming, right?"

It all clicks then. Hange being all hasty, the talk about Erwin picking up Izzy, Nifa being there so late at night.

Of course Hange will go. This was a given. But… me?

Should I go? Or more importantly, do I want to go?

I close my eyes and remember Eren's phone call. His heart wrenching sobs. His broken and pained voice.

And the answer becomes obvious.

"Yes."

A/N: Levi is so badly stuck in his internal conflict! On one hand, his past experiences and his sense of responsibility towards Isabel holds him back. But on the other hand, he can't let go of Eren in his heart either. Poor guy!

Ah... finally we'll see more ErenXLevi interaction in the next chapter, and not over phone this time! You are welcome ;)

By the way, I got a new job recently and still trying to get used to it! So things are a bit... unstable for now. But don't worry! I'll be ready with the update next month!

Thanks for reading! ^_^