"Dimitri", the word took quite an effort to be spoken.
I hadn't really realised the extent upto which I'd simply become Belikov, until this moment.
It had been years, three, perhaps even four, since I'd been identified as Dimitri . I hadn't kept a count.
Dimitri now, appeared to be a different man from a different time, with different ideals, with a set of morals far away from mine. A stranger, a past.
The mere name brought back a spectrum of not only memories but also a variety of emotions. Mama's voice uttering it with an ever present affection, Vika's voice uttering it with awe, everytime I helped her. Karo's annoyed scream when I swiped away a part of her desert. Babushka's authoritative call, Sonya's earpiercing scream complaining that I borrowed her books without permission.
Nostalgia struck me like a brick, as I stood frozen on spot. Unable to pay attention to Rose's reactions.
Little did I see her smile, her awe. By the time I gained control of the situation, Rose sat on the couch. All too quiet.
I guess she had been equally surprised at my revelation. I didn't know what caused me to make up my mind - was it her staying for me or simply being there in my distress? Was it her attitude that made me feel accepted or the unending jokes that she kept throwing my way just to lighten the mood around us?
She wasn't obligated to do anything but train with me, but she made an effort to keep the time interesting for our sake. She offered me my much needed space and respected my distance without prodding which was a blessing in disguise.
I never even realized when Rose's company had started becoming a solace for me. Our short training sessions, something I eagerly looked forward to.
Little did I realize that this little abnegation had wriggled her way into my divergent heart.
It wasn't right, I knew it, but something had changed today. We had established a trust, she had followed me without question and now carried the knowledge of my identity.
It felt liberating, to say it out loud and to hear her speak.
"Dimitri?!" She uttered softly, her voice as if a gentle caress, causing goosebumps to erupt on my skin.
"Dimitri." She iterated, as if testing the way it sounded coming from her, the way the word rolled off her tongue.
It was a precious moments of realization, I didn't know I had been craving, until I heard her speak. Besides Ivan and Adrian nobody really knew my name. I was Belikov to one and all.
But here she stood repeating it like. A prayer, making the name memorable, while I sat drinking in the memory, trying to etch this moment in my mind wishing that it never fade away. It was a moment I wanted to treasure.
Unawares, my mind conjured images of her in my arms, speaking the very words, while my head nestled in the crook of her neck placing soft kisses there.
"Your name is Belikov Dimitri?That's weird!" She said almost talking to herself, bringing me out of the reverie.
No sooner had she realized that the words had been spoken out loud, she went on the defensive, " not that it's weird, just different, and you know being different isn't really bad. It good, being different is fabulous, different from the common mass..." on realizing that she was nervously blabbering , I interrupted her monologue.
"Its okay. I'm Dimitri Belikov." I said calmly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." She apologised not meeting my gaze.
" No offence taken." I said politely, waiting for her to look up once again. The silence that reigned for the while was awkward, as we waited for the other to start.
Patience, I knew wasn't one of her strong suits, so it wasn't surprising when she perked up expressing her curiousity.
"So what now Dimitri? What are we going to do with Lissa's situation?... Was it this that had you riled up?... Can I help you in any way?.. Did you know about...?"
Question upon question paved way to the unknown, a plan simultaneously forming itself in my mind. Her voice soothing enough to calm my deranged mind and jangled nerves, leaving behind only tiredness and mild frustration.
I had lost a track of her words, thinking about the plan, and she had noticed it, and thus eagerly waited for me to elaborate. She understood, the twinkle in her eye, expressive enough for me o get her.
We were too easy a read for the other.
"I'll inform you later. For now I'll rest." I said, watching her visibly deflate, but soon gaining control of herself, she stood straight.
"Sure!" she exclaimed a with a bit of forced cheerfulness,"I'll see you later Cov-man!"
Before I could stop or question her, she sprinted out the door like a flash of lighting . And I turned to see my reflection smiling at me,from the mirror beside the bed.
'Its finally time for bed.' I thought, seconds before plopping down on the mattress and losing myself to the darkness.
XXXXXXXXXXX
The darkness faded, as I opened my eyes, waking up from a restful slumber.
Entering the crowded common hall I was surprised to see the crowds gravitating towards a boards. Following the crowd, I saw the notice hung from the board informing in bold words.
'Training from first half. Initiation begins next week.'