A/N.
Hey everybody! Welcome back.

Before anything else, I'm so sorry this was late! I've been busy with musical stuff in my town (a.k.a. Getting to be Grandma in The Addams Family. One of the best theater experiences I've had so far).

This chapter is actually a very special one, filled with a lot of sibling fluff, from a very different POV. This is a POV that I'm very excited about writing in, and have waited for a while to do.

Not much else to say. The chapter pretty much explains it. I really hope you all enjoy this chapter of Sissy, and once you're done, leave a review, favorite, follow, and as always…

Enjoy!

Chapter Five
Caged In The Mind.
(Donnie's POV).
Have you ever felt like you were trapped inside your own brain, with no way to escape?

For the last forty-eight hours now, that is exactly how I've felt.

Right now, I'm seeing myself for the first time. My new self. But it wasn't me. It was far from me. The creature that stared back in the mirror had seemed to melt into a narrow jaw, complete with rows of pearly fangs. The calm, olive green had been replaced by shocking, unnerving white, and my arms have actually been replaced by living, breathing, snakes! They seemed to have minds of their own. I could hear their thoughts, and they were all unintelligible, due to only having minds for about a day. My legs were entirely gone, switched out with a long tail that looked strong enough to crush someone, if it weren't broken at an angle. And as if all that wasn't alarming enough...it was my eyes that completed the picture. They were no longer the crimson I grew up looking back at...the pupils were small black slits, and the rest, was nothing but jade green, that seemed to glow like the mutagen.

This form was my worst nightmares, rolled into one. I could just barely communicate, and I was even having a bit of trouble moving! But the worst part of it all...something else seemed to take control every now and then. And there was no telling when it would strike next.

Yeah, not the best situation to be in.

I had been in continuous pain since the mutation. When it happened, I felt a little numb for a split second, and then it felt as if I were being burned alive, and stung to death at the same time. I had never, in my entire life, experienced pain like that. A few seconds afterwards, the pain on the outside, moved to the inside. But the new pain was more of a sharp jabbing. I knew what was happening. I had seen it enough times to know. My bones were shifting under my skin, changing with every passing moment. Something more animalistic was coming alive inside me, and I was defenseless. I couldn't be saved, not even if my loved ones tried.

Suddenly, the scariest sensation began. In a flash, I felt as if my consciousness was shrinking against its will, growing smaller and smaller, no matter how many times I tried to stop it. I tried to scream, but couldn't. My own body wouldn't let me. It had gained a mind of its own. A new one, that was bent on my self-destruction. As I was pulled further and further away from myself, no amount of fighting the mutagen would help. Mutagen couldn't be fought. I knew it, and so did everyone else.

I was no longer in control.

It was like watching the events through a window. Somehow, I managed to pull myself free from the vat, and slipped over the side. My eyes closed for a second out a pure exhaustion, and I thought I would feel the pain of colliding with the ground, but at the last second, someone caught me. I recognised the feel of the boney fingers, and I realized it was Master Splinter. "Donatello…" he muttered. I was shifted onto my back. "My child…"

Yes! Yes, Sensei! I'm here! Help me! I just wanted to shout those words to him, wanted him to reassure me like he always did. I needed him to free me from the prison my own mind had forced me into. But no. He couldn't hear my pleas for help. He may never hear them again.

Suddenly, the new, twisted mind that inhabited my body awoke, ready to kill. I had to watch myself attack my own family, I saw horror written all over their faces. In reality, I was begging for them to maintain this monster, for someone to release me. I was even fighting myself on the inside, shrieking for myself to stop, they were my family, they couldn't die! I was gonna hurt them. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks, and it hurt just as bad as the mutagen. If they weren't careful they were gonna end up dead. At the worst possible time, my other mind seemed to realize this as well...and it took it the wrong way.

Seconds later, my father was about to be crushed. No! This wasn't happening! Not my father!

I had to get through, somehow. I began willing myself to slowly ease through. My other mind faltered for a split second, and I was back! I took the opportunity gratefully, and tried speaking. Instead of my own voice however, I was sickened to hear a cold, raspy voice that was barely my own say in a slow slithering hiss, "…..Father…...?" At the very least, it seemed to work. Sensei gave a fleeting smile, to let me know that it was good that I recognized him.

At the last second, I was pulled back into my restraints, fighting myself the entire way. It was blurry for me on the inside. I heard the crashing of glass, and more pain blossomed all over my unfamiliar body. "No! Wait!" I heard Karai shout, but I couldn't stop. Everything was fading to black on the inside, but it wasn't like I was going unconscious. It was as if my other mind was shutting me away, swallowing me in blackness, letting me await the next time I could go free...if there was a next time.

A few more seconds, and I was cramped tightly in the never ending abyss of blackness. Well, it wasn't exactly all blackness. There were thread-like lines of blue light crisscrossing my consciousness, like spiderwebs. Everywhere I looked. It was like I was walking on open space, in mid-air, but there was nothing but black and the web-like stuff. This was what being a mindless mutant was like. I was hating every minute.

But it felt weird, too. Almost as if...in here, I was...myself again...wait…

When I looked down, I saw me. As a normal turtle. I gasped, surprised, but not too loudly. Yes. Everything looked normal. But I still felt as if I were moving, on the outside, still felt rain pattering down my skin. I couldn't feel my legs. I couldn't feel my hands. I couldn't see what I looked like on the outside. Something cut me as I fled by it, leave a nasty-feeling gash. Inside my mind, I yelped in pain, grabbing my arm where the cut was. On the outside, my hand felt like it had melted into a moving lump of skin, which I later identified as one of the snake heads. But on the inside, my hand looked like it always had, and it was surprisingly also bleeding in my mind. I couldn't fix it right now, but it didn't look too bad, so I would figure it out later.

With nothing else to do, I began moving around. It felt strange, like I was walking on air. The ground was non-existent, but existant, at the same time. I was still feeling what I wasn't seeing on the outside, but I couldn't dwell on that too long. I had another situation.

"Okay." I said to myself, inside my mind, of course. "Now what?"

I had no idea where to go from here. I was trapped. It didn't feel very pleasant. Here I was, with the mind of an animal that had absolutely no idea where it was going, and there was nothing anyone I could do about it. I didn't know if my loved ones were okay, or if they were at the mercy of the Shredder by now. It seemed as if my subconscious was intent on getting away from nothing in particular. My second mind didn't seem to think. It had no idea what it was even doing. And neither did I.

Wandering in the darkness wouldn't do me any good, and there was no getting through to get myself under control, so the best I could do was take a deep breath, and wait as calmly as I could.

I must have waited hours. On the inside, I was exhausted, but on the outside, I was still going. My newfound strength from the mutation must have been powerful, so I could continue to head towards...wherever I was going. I was still feeling every injury that I obtained on the outside. Cuts, bruises...the works. My scaly skin was being torn and smashed, and every time, I could hear myself hiss in pain. I must have been quite a sight on the outside. Well, I was already. At least, I think I was. In the pandamonium, I hadn't even seen myself. What I looked like now. I was hoping it wasn't too severe, but knowing our luck with mutagen, there was no such thing as not severe enough.

Then, at one point, my head crashed into something so hard that I nearly lost consciousness. I wanted to cry out in agony, but all I got was another strangled hiss. What on earth was I doing?! I had no idea, and wasn't able to dwell long, because the next thing I knew, more and more backness was descending on me, and I was falling unconscious…

I was relieved when I woke again to find that I was back in control.

"Donnie?" What? Had someone found me? They couldn't have followed me, I had been going way too fast for them to keep up! "Donnie, are you okay?" The voice sounded familiar, but everything was a little foggy. I spent a few seconds blinking away the mist, and saw...Karai? How in the world did she find me? "...Sissy?..." I managed to get out. I needed to know if this was real.

"Yeah. Sissy's here. Sissy's not going away."

The next half-hour was spent with her explaining a few things. First of all, my tail was broken. I didn't even look at it, too afraid to even see myself in such a warped state. We were stuck here for a while until I got better (here turned out to be an old farmhouse). Then, Karai called April and Casey to tell them I had been found. After that, more sleeping. And now I was awake, seeing my new self for the first time.

I was so grateful for Karai discovering where I was. But I still hadn't been saved. I needed to be rescued.

"You okay?"

I jumped, nearly slipping off the bed while doing so. Karai sat up in a flash, and her hand shot out to pull me back up. We both sighed in relief. That could have gone badly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." she said. I gave her a reassuring look, then glanced back in the mirror. We both gazed into it, just staring. It sure was bizarre. "Did you not see yourself yet?" asked Karai. How she can figure this stuff out on her own, I will never know. I nodded. She returned the nod with a sad smile. "Well, at the very least, you're not gonna look like that for long."

She had a point. Once we got home, we'll figure something out. Until then, we would just have to lay low here until everything (and everyone for that matter) cools off. With that, Karai slid off the bed and walked out the door, leaving me with my thoughts again. Which had turned to home.

I couldn't wait to get back home and see everybody again. Well, until they stopped being mad at Karai at least. She never did anything wrong in the first place. I had made the ultimate sacrifice for her, and they think it's her fault. Her fault for what I had done. Raph must have been livid. Of course he wouldn't take the time to understand. Raph always jumps to conclusions. Attacking before analysing has been his motto for years. On the other hand, Leo must be blaming himself. That's his worst fear; letting down the team. I felt a little guilty about that one, but it was my decision. He had nothing to do with it.

But the three people I really felt guilty about were April, Mikey, and Sensei.

Mikey must be broken, and traumatised by now. I'm his best friend, the one he always goes to when something's haunting his dreams, the one he goes to when he accidentally broke something, the one he went to when he just wanted company in general.

Something tells me that Sensei must have isolated himself by now. He's grieving for me. One of his two youngest babies, whom he raised and cared for from infancy. The one he's spent fifteen years motivating and reassuring that he's a beautiful indivudule in the eyes of his brothers, no matter what they say, and in spite of their occasional annoyance and anger.

And April...sweet April…

Ever since her dad got kidnapped the first time, I devoted myself to giving the girl her life back, even at the cost of myself. I was pretty lovestruck. She had completely changed me and my world of facts and equations forever. This funny, fierce teen was everything I had ever dreamed. Everything I thought I could never have. I couldn't believe it when I once heard her saying I had grown on her. I didn't tell anyone else, out of the risk of getting teased. But it was true. A fantasy of mine was just in my reach...then it had been tugged from my grasp just as quickly.

I don't know how my newfound mutation was gonna effect that now. How would she look at me now? Am I too out of control? Is every trait I had diminished? I wish I could tell her I'm still here. Donatello's still alive...he's just trapped inside his head. It's like being stranded on an island, with no contact to the outside world. Or even...like being taken back to my childhood, in the sewers, never seeing the outside until the day I turned fifteen.

Everything is constantly changing for me, and so fast that I can't even keep track. Nothing is going at a normal pace for me. And I know that the peace will never last forever. Danger is brewing under my surface, bubbling and ready to burst through the seams at any given moment. I know I'll lose control again, sooner or later. But for now, the primitive state seems to be biding its time. Hopefully, that'll buy us time. Enough time. I was not about to say goodbye to my family.

"WHAT?! NO!"

The sudden shout had startled me so badly that I found myself slipping off the bed once again, struggling to pull the limp, heavy lower half of myself up again. It was when I accomplished this that I really began to feel pain. A throbbing jolt shot up my tail and spin, and I yelped. Great. I had been trying not to move and cause more damage. Now it's even worse.

"HEY! STOP! COME BACK HERE!"

The roar of an engine sounded out the window and I strained my neck to look, due to my current position. Karai was chasing after a black pick-up truck that was flying down the dirt driveway, tires screeching and dust flying everywhere, all over and around my sister. But through the cloud it kicked up, I could see on the back, that there was a motorcycle with the symbol of the Foot Clan on it.

Karai eventually stopped to wave the dust away, and by the time it cleared, whoever had stolen our one way out of this place was gone.

We were both frozen in shock. Then Karai began throwing rocks, stomping around in the dirt, and screaming every horrible word she could think of and more at the the top of her lungs. If it had been any other situation, I would have laughed at the little tantrum she was displaying for me to see (which I don't think I was supposed to see). But now I was afraid. Now we really had nowhere to go. Which meant we had to put thoughts of home on hold.

After a good half-hour of throwing stones, and a steady stream of swears the entire time, Karai came trudging back into the house, scowling. "Oh, sure, I was stupid enough to not even think there could be thieves around here! Just perfect!" She flopped down next to me, covered in a good layer of dust, and sighed. "Donnie, I'm sorry. I should have known."

Well, I couldn't blame her. I mean, a person can't really see something like that coming, unless it's made entirely obvious. I put on my best stern face, crossed my arms, and looked her right in the eyes, thinking about what I would be mentally saying to her.

"Karai, it's not scientifically possible to make such a prediction. Only people with genetically enhanced minds, like someone created by the Kraang, could do that. It's not your fault, wipe that scowl straight off your face, and then we'll plan our next move. Happy?"

In real life, it only came out as a tiny hiss and a flick of my tongue.

The next thing we knew, both of us were laughing so hard that we were holding our sides, and tears were streaming down our faces. Oh well. And least she was in good spirits now.

"You're right, Donnie. I shouldn't be angry." she said. "Not if I'm gonna change for you and our brothers. You'll get the sister you always wanted." she said. "Hopefully, I can pull it off."

She had pulled it off more than she already knew. Already, my childhood memories of my imaginary Miwa were resurfacing. I had Miwa again, for good this time. It felt wonderful, like all the pain from the mutation was going away.

And if it's enough to pull through, then maybe I will be okay…

A/N.
Yes! We have some action from the 'Fellow-With-A-Way-With-Machines!'

We've got a new POV coming next chapter, plus a run in with some of the Foot Clan mutants, and a meeting with April and Sensei! Other than that, I hope you enjoyed this chapter of Sissy! Once you're done, leave a review, favorite, follow, and as always…

Stay tuned!;)