His eyes held gravity. Those deep brown depths, stirring something within . How had I not noticed them before, for now I couldn't look away. The black, the brown the gold, almost blended , yet didn't.

'How had I never noticed that eyes held such beauty!'

Beauty I longed for, beauty I was ready to chase. The hollowness within craved for it, the coldness making me shiver, as I longed for warmth, that began pulling away, no sooner had I moved to examine it in detail and when he blinked the spell broke, yet I longed for more.

Grabbing him I brought him to me. Hand gripping his shirt, the other tangled in his hair.

And when my lips touched his, the gravity of the moment dawned upon me, yet the warmth that spread throughout my body was comforting.

I felt alive and already longed for more of it, but before it all, I wanted to look at him, see him and take him in, at the moment.

I saw him, his chin, his lips, his nose, the locks that lingered on his face and finally his eyes, mesmerizing the moment, calm as he, feeling as I was, I gave in to want.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I woke up feeling a bit too warm. Throwing the blankets that covered me I looked around the dark place, the incidents from before pouring into my mind causing a shiver to run up my spine, the soft touch on my shoulder, caused me to jump as I made frantic attempts to escape her!

A moment later the lights turned on and I saw Dimitri standing near the bed, looking mildly disheveled, worried and ( if I placed his expressions correctly) , slightly hurt.

"Rose its okay." He said.

His voice reminding me of what I'd done.

'Oh no! What had I done!'... 'He has a girlfriend.'... 'I kissed him'

'oh no no no!'... 'He won't help me anymore!

' What do I do?'

Several voices promoting in my head as I stared I him blankly, an, " I'm sorry ", being the only coherent reply I could come up with,as I clumsily got up and decided to leave.

His hands grabbing mine, stopped me.

"I'm sorry", I said. "Please let me go.What ever happened last I was awake, was the weakness of the moment, combined with my silliness. Please forgive me. "

"Rose you are forgiven, I'm sorry too , but I didn't mean to bring that up. I need to know what happened yesterday. What did you see?" He stated in all sincerity, but there was something in his tone that felt like he was pleading more than stating.

The silence that followed seemed to weigh down upon me. Upon us. He looked worried too.

'How did he even find me!'

'How am I even here!'

I could hardly recall those moments.

Just bits and pieces stuck, but apart from that, stuck the clear memory of the murder, and the tearing blank eyes of a dying man.

He gently pulled me back to the bed, made me sit, sat on the floor just in front and urged me to speak.

"It was an...an Erudite woman."I croaked, the scenes playing in my mind." ... She murdered a man..., killed him in cold blood... Killed him in front of me and I, I just stood there,... Frozen, struck, helpless..."

It was a while before I finished the story, and by the time I was done, Dimitri had this stone like expression on his face and I could hardly gauge his reaction at my revelations.

I had told him everything, all that I could could possibly recall and the details, described to the T.

I didn't realize how, but the moment I realized things had changed was when he stood up to console me, and I just hugged him, holding on to him for dear life. I was drifting away time and time again, carried away by this melancholy , and guilt and he was my anchor.

I knew I was not ready, knew that she would come for me, and knew that I had failed to help the man, who had hoped that I'd probably help him, and this knowledge scared me, it terrified me, it wrecked me on the inside.

Burrowing my head in his jacket, I cried, cried for all of it, the loss, my incapablity ,my cowardice, my foolishness, as he patiently stood, simply holding me, his words in a tongue unknown, cooing, soothing me, and his hands, patting my head calming me, the distinct pine like smell of his, comforting me.

The next time I woke up, the room was empty, and well arranged. The untouched cup of chocolate removed, the sheets on which Dimitri had previously been seated on the floor, neatly folded, hanging on the arm of the couch. A glass of water placed on the table beside the bed and a box with a note on it.

'Please eat this. I'll be back soon. Please don't leave the place. I'll tell you all when I return.'

-DB.

The box contained a donut and two sandwiches.

Washing my face multiple times, and throughly rinsing my mouth with water. I tried to eat bits and pieces of the food in front of my, it was hard but I had to keep working, grow stronger, the next time, (which I hoped would arrive soon) , I was determined to face this adversary, confront her in the best way possible instead of running away. I was determined to help and stand up for the ones that needed help. I was determined not to be weak.

It was my responsibility to care for Lissa, but that didn't mean, I'd stop caring for, others.

Sitting alone it was now I realized, being dauntless wasn't about being fearless, it was more about challenging yourself to overcome this fear.