Chapter 47 Kaname
Back at the Mansion, Hanabusa just watches Kaname with Ai. How she is growing up so fast. Looking more and more like both her mother and father. Kaname just dotes over her. Spending as much time with her as he possibly could. She was all he had left. Hanabusa saw how Kaname wasn't the same man as he was before. He was colder and empty. Even more then before, when he was around Yuki he was alive. You could see some joy in his heart. Now he only had that with Ai. The rest of the time he seemed like a lost soul just wondering around figuring out why he was here. Hanabusa thought if it wasn't for Ai, he could see Kaname putting himself to sleep for a very long time. He so how alone, sad he was on the inside and out.
"My lord, will you be going out today?" Hanabusa asks. "No, There is no need. I will stay home with Ai and do work from home. The Council is still on my case with how this happened. How could I let a pureblood kill themself in my home? My own wife. Didn't I see the signs? She was so young to want to take her life. Most Purebloods live decades before wanting to do so. I am so freaking tired of hearing it. NO, I didn't see the signs. I know. I screwed up but I never expected that. I thought in time we would get over it. That she would forgive me like she always has in the past. Not, This! It's like the Counsel thinks I killed her." Kaname growls.
"I am so sorry my lord. I know the last eight months have been very hard on you. I know how much you loved her. I don't think any of us saw this coming. She just couldn't handle being a pureblood. She was used to being human. The Counsel just needs to look into every side. I am sure, they know better than you would do this." Hanabusa states. "Really? It wasn't only that. We both know it. Yes, she hated being a pureblood at times due to restrictions. But it was him! All she thought about was him. I still can't get it out of my head, her coming home. Reaking of that bastard in my home. IT was all over her. There wasn't a piece of her body he didn't touch. Didn't she think that would hurt me? I about lost my mind with rage and anger. I saw nothing but red. And even after this time, it's not better for me. I still can smell him here. If the council knew anything about that night, it would only make them think. I did it more. It would give me a reason to. " Kaname hisses.
"I don't know what to say to that Kaname. She was lost when you took her here. It was a lot for her to get used to. She tried. She did whatever you wanted for those years. She tried to hide how she really felt, but you knew. " Hanabusa answers. "Yes, I knew she wanted him. Missed him. She would drink from me but it was never enough to sate her. I know I should have been here more with her. I know when she asked for more attention I should have done it. Its what pushed her away from me more. Made her think of him more. I was busy, I had real work to do. She never seem to understand that. All I did was so she and our child could live peacefully. She left me and our child. She didn't even think about how this would affect Ai. She needs a mother." Kaname shouts. "I know she does. We don't know what she was thinking at the end. We just have to move on. All this hatred inside of you isn't going to make things better." Hanabusa replies. "I stay here in this house, seeing her everywhere. Taking care of our child we had together. As he gets to move on with his life. He moved to China. To start over. How can I start over?" Kaname spats throwing the papers on his desk all over the floor.
"I am sure he is very upset as well. It takes time. I know you hate him, but he is suffering also. He loved her very much. He wouldn't have wanted this." Hanabusa responds. "Maybe its good he did leave. I don't have to see him anymore at the association, or anywhere for that matter. I just don't see how I can live forever without her. She was supposed to be here with me. We were supposed to have a family and grow. Be like our parents. It's all I ever wanted." Kaname states.
Hanabusa just stands there not sure what to say. Just knowing if he ever finds out the truth, he will flip a lid. His anger towards Zero never stopped just grew. He blamed him for everything. Even things he had nothing to do with. Just because. The thing was they both really loved her. It wasn't a lie on either of their parts. Both would give their life to her. Just she could only pick one.
At first, she thought Kaname was that one, Feeling just like he did, it's what their parents wanted. Always feeling this closeness towards him. Just still always feeling he was better than her, too good for her. She couldn't equal him in any way.
She always felt more at ease with Zero. Playing around, doing normal things. Zero a normal person. Even when he did act like a fool. She was just used to him and knew he had gone through so much. It was just Zero. She saw how much she really loved him. She felt like they shared more, could understand the other much better. She just realized when it was a bit late. Now having to do all this to be with him. And hurting Kaname more than she ever thought she would. Which in a way hurt her as well. This wasn't what she really wanted.