Warning: Mentions of abuse

Thank you so much to my amazing beta Krysyuy.

Wang So

So halfheartedly dragged his eyes over the blurred sentences inside his book as he thought about the past few hours.

They had done it. He still had trouble believing that for a small moment, Hae Soo had been his. He had held her in his arms and had sex with the woman that had perplexed and attracted him for months… and it had been amazing.

She was as soft, as delicious, and as gut-wrenchingly beautiful as he had ever imagined and more. He could still smell the roses on her skin and feel the touch of her hands.

After their first time, So had held her in his arms and kissed her, unwilling to let that moment end. He had expected her to send him away or even fire him on the spot, but she had remained with him, evening having lunch together. So remembered their second time having sex. It had been on the chaise and Soo had again refused to look at him, taking to her hands and knees or riding him with her back turned. Even still, he had seen stars.

Sighing, So read his book, wondering when he could return to Soo's room and see her. He had thought that sleeping with her would rid him of any attachment or emotions he felt towards his employer, but they had only increased. He wanted to hear her laugh; to have sex with her again; to speak with her; to take her burdens from her.

If Hae Soo had been single, he would have dated her in an instant, asking her to be his girlfriend and lover. Instead, she was married and he was just a paramour. But that had not stopped So from buying more condoms before he picked the girls up from school.

He had handed them over to Soo and told her to use them as she wished. So knew that he was offering his body to her for the duration of their stay at the hotel. He knew that she would probably leave him for her husband as soon as they returned to the house. No matter how much he wanted to look at Soo when they had sex, he knew that to look at him would only cause her pain.

After all, Soo had only come to him after finding out her husband had been cheating on her. And now she was cheating on Wook with him. From what So knew about Soo, he knew that their actions would only hurt her.

So pressed his lips into a thin line as he continued to skim his book.

Suddenly, there was a scream and a crash. So's head snapped up as Mi stared at him, her eyes round with fear. The little girl blinked, her mouth wide. "Yoon fell!" she shouted.

So threw his book aside when he heard a wail from behind the bed.

Rushing over to the crevice between the bed and the wall, he reached into the dark corner and extracted a bawling three-year-old, pulling her up and examining her for injuries. So's blood ran cold as he glanced over Yoon's arms, legs, and face. He sighed in relief when he found no marks on her, but bit his cheek when Yoon continued to cry.

Picking the little girl up, So held her in his arms and frowned, trying to remember how he had once quieted his baby brother. So racked his memory for a glimmer of what he had done twenty years ago as Yoon wailed. Before he could conjure up some memory of his abusive mother or crying brother, So remembered watching Soo put Yoon to sleep: how she had patted Yoon's back and gently rocked her, singing a nursery rhyme.

So copied what he had seen. Gently tapping Yoon's back with the flat of his palm, he swayed his hips, trying his best to calm the frightened child. "Sh," he whispered. "Sh, it's alright. You're alright."

He glanced at Mi and saw the little girl standing on the edge of the bed, trying to peek at her little sister. She held onto the hem of her school uniform and leaned over, her wide eyes searching for her sister's face. "Mr. So." Mi opened her arms and So paused to look at the older child.

As Yoon slowly calmed down, So took his hand away from her back and nodded to Mi, picking her up with his free arm. Sighing, he carried both children and watched as Mi took over calming her sister. "Butterfly, butterfly, come fly to me," she sang, her little voice carrying over to Yoon. "Stop crying; you're not hurt."

So listened to the little hiccups Yoon emitted as she clutched onto his shirt. He turned when the door opened and Soo rushed in wearing only a bathrobe. "Who's crying?" she asked. So could see the surprise written across her face when she laid eyes on him holding both of her children.

Soo pressed a hand to her mouth and laughed. She stepped forward and So felt her rest her hands on his arm. "Thank you," she sighed.

He could see her brushing Yoon's hair aside and nodding at her child. "Did you give Mr. So a hard time?" she teased, taking her daughter into her arms. So released Yoon while continuing to carry Mi. He watched as Soo held Yoon against her chest and sat down.

The front of her robe gently opened but Soo only stroked Yoon's hair and kissed where the little girl complained. "Elbow? Ok. Knee? Mhm."

"Mommy, I sang to Yoonie because she was crying!" Mi called. So felt her arms wrap around him and he walked over to where Soo and Yoon were. Oh so quietly, So found himself centered in a warm family moment.

He watched as Yoon stopped crying and giggled when Mi made a face at her. Soo patted her daughter's back and sighed, shaking her head. "Dinosaurs don't cry, remember?" she asked.

"I dinosaur," Yoon nodded. Soo wiped her daughter's eyes and kissed her cheeks. "Mommy!" The girl giggled, trying to push Soo's face away from hers. "No kissies!"

"Yes kissies, Baby Dinosaur!" Soo laughed, smothering her daughter with affection. So smiled and watched Soo play with her youngest. He saw the genuine happiness her children brought her, noting that she smiled widest when she was with her children.

They put the girls to bed together and So stood in front of Soo as she sat in between Yoon and Mi on a bed, reading them a story. The mother animated her voice and roared and meowed as the story progressed, making them laugh. Even So smiled as he listened to Soo read to her children.

Mi fell asleep in Yoon's bed and So carried her to the other one as Soo stepped away from the sleeping girls. When he turned around, he saw Soo closing her bathrobe after it had fallen open again.

He felt warm in that moment, caught beside a woman and her children. It felt almost comically normal for him to be there- as if he was their father.

In silence, they walked to their shared bedroom and So watched Soo enter the bathroom to draw a bath. He sat on the chaise longue, gazing out the window. The glimmering Seoul skyline made him crave a glass of soju and a cigarette.

The sound of running water caught his attention and So heard the door open.

He could hear Hae Soo's light footsteps as she approached him. "How did you become so good with children?" she asked. She remained a meter away from him, but So felt close to her.

Turning, he faced the barely clothed woman. As always, So replied with nothing but the truth. "When I was younger, my mother was… neglectful," he murmured. "I cared for my baby brother when she was unable to, but I couldn't remember what I did to make him stop crying, so I used what I learned watching you."

There was silence and So gazed at Soo as she stepped forward. The white cloth of her robe parted to reveal her chest, and her dark hair was loose around her cheeks. She looked so beautiful in the evening light. So wanted to stare at her forever, saving that moment for an eternity. The way the dim lights in the room shadowed her decolletage and illuminated her face. He could see her nipples just peeking out from her robe, and her skin shone.

"You must have had a very hard life," she said quietly, sitting on the coffee table. Their knees touched and So gave a small chuckle as he nodded.

"Relatively," he replied. "I grew up poor, but I managed to send myself to college and turn myself around." He watched as Soo stared at her bare feet.

"We're from such different backgrounds," she sighed. "I must be despicable to you. Born into a rich family… Never had to work for anything…"

Reaching forward, So placed his hand against Soo's knee and rubbed his thumb against her smooth skin. "I could never hate anything about you," he said.

His eyes trailed up Soo's chest until he met her gaze. Something about her lovely eyes drew him closer and So curled his hand through her hair, leaning to kiss her.

Soo's tongue met his and So tasted her. Her hands glided over his shoulders, her nails leaving light marks in his shirt. They sat there, gently exploring each other's mouths until Soo gasped away from him. "The water," she said abruptly. So sat back as she rushed back into the bathroom and shut the water off. He looked down at his feet and chuckled softly, running the pad of his thumb over his bottom lip.

So heard the water slosh and he knew Soo was in her bath.

Staring out at the vast skyline, So sighed and nodded to the flurries of snow. I'll only live once, he thought, sliding his necktie off. So unbuttoned his shirt and removed his pants. He folded his clothes onto the sofa and took his underwear off before standing and making for the bathroom.

Opening the door, So was greeted by a cloud of fog with mirrors whited out by steam. He walked toward the tub, his feet stepping over cold tile. A robe was discarded on the floor in a crumpled mess.

Soo sat in clear water, her cheek pressed to the outer rim of the tub. So knew she was aware of his presence. He noticed how her eyelashes fluttered with each of his steps even if she did not look at him.

When he slid into the scalding water, So took the spot behind Soo, spreading his legs and placing her between them. Almost immediately, she leaned back against his chest, her eyes closed. So felt her hands on his knees and he gazed over her hair to see her breasts just beneath the steaming surface.

He slid his hand beneath hers and laced his large fingers with her dainty ones, examining how much smaller her hand was compared to his. Unlike his clipped nails, hers were filed into perfect ovals and painted with a clear varnish. Compared to his tan skin and veiny, scarred forearms, there were no protruding veins or any signs of conflict on her milky wrists.

"You're not thinking of going back, are you?" So listened as his voice reverberated over tiles. He felt Soo's hand grasp his tighter.

Soo did not immediately reply and So pressed his lips to her hair, leaning his forehead against the back of her head. "I have to go back to my husband," she said. So wondered what she was feeling, what turmoil her mind might be going through. There she was, sitting in a bath with a different man while talking about her marriage. He ignored the twinge of jealousy that pulled at him when Soo mentioned her husband.

Instead, he leaned forward and used his hand to gently turn Soo's head towards him, his fingertips pressing divots into Soo's cheeks. Slowly, she faced him, her chin tilting upward to meet his gaze. Their lips were a breath away and So watched Soo close her eyes, her lashes fluttering shut. "Kiss me, please," she murmured. So could feel her breath against his lips and he obliged wholeheartedly.

Their wet bodies pressed close and the steam from the water clouded the entire bathroom in a thick fog as So brought Soo closer to him. One long, chaste kiss was followed by gentle pecks and he pressed his lips to Soo's cheeks and eyes, brushing the tip of her nose before returning to her mouth.

He held an arm around her shoulders and kissed her, his tongue entering the delicious cavern of her mouth. When she turned, So felt her chest against his and noticed her pert nipples pressing against his skin.

She wrapped an arm around him, her hand holding the back of his neck. Her other hand found its way to his chest and So reached to take a hold of her bottom, giving it a squeeze as their tongues lazily met between open lips. They had the entire night.

When Soo pulled away, So leaned back and gazed at her. Her head rested against his shoulder and she kissed his cheek and chin, her hand running over his torso. So dipped his hand into the water and gripped the back of Soo's thigh as it draped over his leg. He eyed the water as it stilled around them, lapping at their bodies.

They breathed quietly. Soo's forehead rested against his cheek and So held her close, her fingertips tracing his arms. There was no rush, no need to hurry. If they stayed still, it was almost as if time itself was frozen.

"Soo," So murmured. He felt her burrow closer to him in response, her nose gently poking his throat. "Come to bed with me," he said, twining a strand of her dry hair against his wet fingers. "I want you."

"Why?" she asked. So tilted his head against hers and raised his eyebrows. "Why do you want me? I'm married and have two children. I won't let you look at me when we… have sex. Why don't you leave?"

How much did Wook hurt you? So wondered. What did he say to you? How could I ever leave you?

"I want you because you're resilient and strong. You're a kind mother and a just employer. Why would I leave? I have no reason to."

So felt Soo move away from him. The second her chest left his, he felt a sense of loss and craved her contact again. He followed her out of the tub and watched as she wrapped a towel around her body. So dried himself off as Soo did the same.

Before Soo could leave the bathroom, So tied his towel around his waist and caught her by the wrist, pulling her towards him. "Who said you could walk?" he asked.

Soo yelped in surprise when So picked her up and cradled her in his arms. He chuckled when she began laughing at his antics. Carrying her out of the bathroom So laid Soo onto the newly made bed and moved on top of her, crouching over her flustered form.

Soo laughed and So grinned at her. Her hair was splayed out and So chuckled when she turned away and sneezed. She jerked within his grasp and he nudged his forehead to hers when she returned to her original position, rubbing her nose. Her towel had fallen open at her abrupt movements, revealing pebbled nipples to the cool air. He ran his thumb over one of her peaks, gently toying with the hardening bud. "Cold?" he asked jokingly.

So balanced himself against his elbows and blinked as Soo leaned upward to gently bite his bottom lip. "I can think of ways to get warm," she replied. Her words were vibrations against his lips and So felt his towel slowly unravel as Soo's hand met his waist. "Lay back," she murmured.

He did as commanded. So laid on the bed and leaned against a mountain of pillows, kissing Soo and watching as she moved to lay her head against his stomach so that they laid perpendicular to each other.

Soo's eyes raked over him and So reached to hold her hand. He stroked her knuckles and paused at the skinny ring on her fourth finger. The delicate gold hissed at him. "I've never seen anything as beautiful as your eyes," he said, ignoring the symbol of her marriage.

"I think yours are nicer than mine," Soo replied in a hushed voice. "You always look so deep in thought, but I can never know what you're thinking," she said, her fingers trailing up So's stomach. "Are you sad? Angry? Do you hate? Do you love?"

So did not reply and Soo kissed his hip. "Thank you for dealing with my children," she murmured against his skin. He felt prickles of electricity shoot throughout his body as she nipped and kissed at his waist and upper thigh. Slowly, So realized what Soo meant to do and he sat up, ignoring his semi-erect groin.

"Soo, if you're not comfortable don't-"

"Wang So, I'm not a virgin and you're not being courteous," Soo snapped, lifting her head from his waist. "If a woman offers to blow you, then shut up and lay down."

They stared at each other and So paused. He watched Soo blink in surprise at her own words. Then, they began to laugh.

So curled forward, clutching his waist as his shoulders shook. Beside him, Soo pressed her hands to her face and practically cried. He slung an arm around her and pulled her onto his lap as he tried to stifle his uncontrollable response to her outburst. "Hae Soo, you strange, strange woman," he huffed, hugging her close. He had never felt more attracted to her than when she was laughing with him.

So felt Soo's arms wrap around him and she kissed his ear. "I've been called many things," she replied. "You can't faze me. Lay down."

He felt her pushing him down and So toppled against the pillows, smiling as Soo beamed at him. She pressed a quick peck to his lips and So was content to follow orders and remain still.

She took him in hand and So watched as Soo let her hips sway. She stroked him and averted her gaze, opening her mouth and gently swirling her red tongue over the head of his length. So exhaled, raising a hand to grasp Soo's bottom. He pressed his fingertips into her soft flesh as she took him into her mouth.

This was a new sensation altogether and So grunted as her tongue ran over the sensitive skin of his groin, slowly bringing him up until he was fully erect. He watched as she swayed her hips and kissed him. "Ah, Soo."

The heat of her mouth left him panting and So sat up to reach for Soo's hair. He pulled her short waves back and felt himself smile when he saw her beautiful eyes and lovely features. Pulling back the curtain of hair revealed pale skin, long lashes, and pink lips.

She bobbed her head between his legs and So's hands curled into her hair. Using her hand, she stroked him while sucking at the head of his cock. Her eyes would occasionally glance up and meet his. So relished those fleeting moments when she looked at him.

Slowly, surely, she drew him closer to ruin.

"Soo, I'm- ah, going to cum," he hissed through his gritted teeth. So had no idea how Soo was going to deal with his release, but he could not bring himself to worry about that as he came.

Pressing a hand over his eyes, So felt his entire body shudder with ecstasy. His hips bucked and for a split second, his body was weightless.

When he opened his eyes, stars danced over his vision and So gradually focused on Soo as she pulled away from him, her mouth holding the majority of his release. He could not believe how sexy she looked, naked and sitting beside his legs. Her nails made gentle divots in his thighs and she wiped her lips on the back of her hand.

So's chest rose and fell as he breathed through the last of his climax. He reached over to the bedside table and pulled four tissues from the metal holder. Folding them together, he handed them to Soo.

She accepted them with a nod and So watched her press them to her chin, spitting. After emptying her mouth, she folded the paper basin in her hand and So tossed it into the trash for her, hearing the rustle of plastic and a dull flop as it fell onto their used condoms.

It might have been his own selfishness that made So wish she would have swallowed, but he did not dwell on those thoughts. Instead, he opened his arms and accepted Soo's body against his, kissing her and unmaking the bed so they could lay beneath the sheets.

"Would you like me to return the favor?" he asked as the cool blankets billowed around them. So raised his neck to look at Soo. His hair fell against his eyes and So watched Soo's fingers brush his fringe away. Her palm rested against his cheek and So leaned into her touch. "I can attest that I'm quite good with my mouth," he teased, kissing her wrist.

Soo giggled and shook her head. "I know that," she sighed. "Just hold me, please."

So held Soo against his chest and tangled his legs with hers, fiddling with her hair and dotting her with slow kisses. He loved how much he got to do that. So could not get enough of her sweet, sweet lips. He felt her skin pressed against his and wondered how she was so warm and soft.

Her touch lightly traced over the scars on his body. So felt her fingertips against his chest and arms, lining faded stripes and burns. Years of working as a hitman had left his body littered with the marks. "How did you get this?" she asked.

From where her hand was, So could tell it was from when he had tried to mediate a bar fight when he was working for the gang. It was one of his funnier scars. "I tried to stop a bar fight," he explained. "Some idiot ran at me with a broken bottle and I got nicked."

Soo sighed and smiled, tapping her fingertips against the line. So grinned with her. "I didn't need stitches so it wasn't bad. A shot of whiskey and a cigarette and I was alright," he chuckled. "It only scarred because I didn't put any medication on it."

"This?" Her hand found an old mark on his collarbone. A little circle so small and faint that it was only visible from centimeters away. So had almost forgotten about that mark. "It looks older than your other ones."

He paused.

"My… ah, my mother," he said quietly. So blinked as Soo's fingertip lightly traced the tiny mark. "I was six and I had gotten into a fight with my brother… We were being too loud. He managed to run away before he was punished but... I didn't run fast enough." So heard Soo's sharp inhale. He did not look down for fear of seeing pity in her eyes. He hated seeing anything but happiness on her face.

"What did she do to you?" Soo asked. Her voice wavered, but So still heard her resilience along with something different. He heard the voice she used to speak to her children. The voice that she used to calm them and reassure their safety.

Of the few memories of his childhood that remained, So clearly remembered that day. "She burned me with her cigarette," he murmured. He could smell the burning flesh, hear his six-year-old self screaming. Yo had been nowhere to be found and his mother had squeezed his arm to keep him from squirming, slapping his face and telling him to shut up. She had left him on the cold bathroom floor to repent, wailing in agony… but those memories were over thirty years old and all that remained was a little circle on his collarbone.

Swallowing, So closed his eyes when Soo's lips met the mark. He smiled as she removed her hands from his scars and moved them to the blank areas of his skin- as if touching his old wounds would reopen them. "I'm sorry none of my scars are happy," he said with a small chuckle.

"What scars are ever happy?" Soo asked, sighing. So raised his eyebrows and moved his hand to Soo's thigh, tracing the pale stripes against her hips and the faint marks on her stomach.

"These brought life, didn't they?" he asked. So listened to Soo chuckle. She did not deny his claim. He felt her hand take his and she guided it down to her left ankle. So frowned when he touched a divot on her Achilles tendon.

"I was climbing a tree with my brother, Baek Ah, when I was ten," she said. So smiled as Soo guided his finger up the length of her scar. He touched his forehead against hers and listened as she told her story. "I fell out and broke my ankle. I also scraped most of my skin off and was bleeding and crying. My brother carried me home because I couldn't walk. The maids threw fits and my mother fainted."

Their quiet chuckles intermingled and So felt his eyelids droop, slowly falling to the whims of his exhaustion. He noticed when Soo's touch met his collarbone again and when she kissed his scar once more. "I hope you're not in pain anymore," she murmured.

So wondered just how lucky he might be if he could do this every night with a woman like Hae Soo. To hold her, kiss her, speak with her.

He wanted her to himself, but she was no one's. She would never be his because she belonged to herself. He was just a place for her to rest her feet and heal her wounds before she left to go on her way once more.