Well hi there. It's been awhile. Sorry for not updating for so long. College happened and kicked me in the ass :)

To whoever is left, thank you very much for waiting so long

Hae Soo

Large white cranes flew on the walls around a room where a man had once slept. The bed was made with fresh sheets, awaiting a new owner. The maids had cleaned everything, erasing any trace of the person that had inhabited the room for the greater part of a year.

Soo gazed around the bedroom So had stayed in, breathing softly as she imagined him spending his evenings there. The bed was barely larger than Mi's, the desk half of hers. There was little space for much, and for a moment, Soo wondered if So had gone jogging every morning to escape. Had that been her fault?

Not a single trace of him remained, wiped away or tossed out with the Thursday garbage, and that left Soo's heart feeling bare and hollow.

Birds chirped and sunlight spilled over the trees as Soo made her way to her shrines. The warmer weather meant she no longer had to wear thick coats to see her son, and flowers bloomed in the places their gardener let them grow.

Soo knelt in her usual spot and gazed over the three towers built by her own hands. She felt no need to pray; an emptiness filled her heart as, even a week later, she still mulled over the day she had forced So to leave.

She hated how things had ended up between them, and Soo still had no idea how to feel. At times, she blamed herself for being desperate enough to fall into the arms of a hitman, but then again, she had not known he was a hitman at the time. Sometimes she thought it apt that she had cheated on her husband with someone that killed people for a living.

Soo ached to think of the man she loved having blood on his hands. Her heart tore in two as she realized how much she cared for someone that eventually would have hurt her.

But he didn't hurt you, a voice in her head nagged. He was always kind and gentle. You entrusted your children to him. He had every chance to hurt you but he never did.

Everything made sense, and Soo detested that she had been unable to see. He had never lied to her—that much was true… at least, she hoped it was. Soo had no idea what to believe with So anymore. She recalled so many times when he had told her not to trust him. He had tried to warn her, but she had obstinately contradicted him and disagreed with any self-deprecating comments he had made.

I should have listened to him. He tried to tell me.

A shiver ran down her spine even though summer bloomed around her, and Soo refocused on the shrines she knelt before, reaching a hand to touch Lily's. "Mommy made a very big mistake, baby."

But what mistake? She wondered if it was her decision to sleep with So for petty revenge that had been a mistake. If she had never allowed him to touch her in both body and soul, would she have fallen for him so hard?

"I fell in love, Lily Flower. I fell for a bad man." Tears fell from her eyes at the memories that rushed through her mind. Soo remembered So holding her on rainy evenings when Wook was away. He played with her children and drove them around, cleaning up after their messes and smiling when they held onto his legs at the playground.

I love you. She could hear his voice so clearly in her mind declaring those three words to her over and over again. In the car, in her home, and anywhere they could just be together. He had so much love to offer. I love you.

"He's a bad man, but he's not, Lily Flower. He's a good person. He's kind. And he's been hurt so much."

Soo held a hand against her chest as it yearned for So again. The first time she had ever thought him gallant and kind had been when he had draped his coat over her shoulders as she prayed in the freezing wind.

"How desperate was I to have found comfort in the arms of a man that…" Soo could not bring herself to finish her sentence. There she sat, crying for a hitman. A person paid to kill others. Yet her heart ached for him and she yearned to see him once more. "It was only right that I break up with him. I couldn't let him stay… because he… he…"

Shame filled Soo's body and she hung her head, letting her tears drip off of her nose as her hair shrouded the sides of her face in a dark curtain. "He was hurt. He grew up so lonely and without a family… and I forced him away from us. I told him to leave."

She let her hand fall from Lily Flower's shrine as she pulled it close to clutch at her heart. Kneeling before a shrine meant for her child, she sobbed, too distraught to care about the pitiful sight she made.

Soo loved So with all her heart. She had been willing to leave Wook for him, but now she jumped between emotions as if each one would burn her if she stayed for too long. At times she grew angry that So had lied to her, but then she understood why he had omitted the truth. Sometimes she wondered if she was the wrong one, but then she remembered that she had sent a murderer away from her home.

But one fact remained prevalent even through her various moods. Shepined for Wang So, even if there was no place for him in her life. The person she had fallen for was not a hitman in her eyes. To her, he remained a kind bodyguard and sweet boyfriend.

Soo looked up as a pair of footsteps approached. For a split second, she wished it was So making his way across the lawn to join her whenever she took the time to visit her lost child. He would always kneel beside her and pay his respects, something she found endearing and too easy to love.

The heavy footsteps drew nearer, and with each pat the pair of shoes left in the grass around them, Soo lost more and more hope. She pressed a hand over her mouth to silence her anguish, but when Wook's arm went around her and his knees met the ground beside her, Soo hated herself for crying harder.

"I don't know who broke up with whom, but…" His voice was too calm, too soothing, and Soo did not fight as he pulled her into his arms and held her, letting her tears soak his clothes. Soo could hear his heart loud and clear against her ear and she grasped at his shirt, shame and embarrassment overtaking her at the situation she now found herself in.

"Sh… it's okay. Let it out, darling."

His words sent blows raining down upon her dignity, but Soo knew they were well-deserved, and she let his words hit her hard. She was the cheating wife who left her boyfriend and returned to her husband's arms for comfort.

She stopped crying as Wook's hand rubbed her back and his lips met her forehead. She turned her hands against his chest in an attempt to push away, but Wook's strength prevailed and Soo remained locked in his embrace, too tired to fight any longer. This was her husband. She lived a life envied by others for how outwardly perfect it seemed, but now Soo saw how twisted and ugly she and Wook were, and how even a hitman like So had a cleaner soul than she.

Perhaps it was only right that So be away from someone like her.

"I love you, Hae Soo," Wook said, finally opening his arms to let her go. Soo immediately leaned away from Wook, dizzy and nauseated at the very action of being held against him. But she knew she deserved the life she lived. Everything was falling back into place, and normalcy would return.

Wook seemed ever capable of reading her expressions for her emotions, and he lightly rubbed her arm, certainty overtaking any sympathy in his tone. "I love you and I'm not going anywhere. We can get through... whatever this is."

They stood together, and Soo stayed still as Wook held her waist and dragged her so that her side pressed against his. Her chest ached as she remembered a time when she had loved the way So pulled her flush against him and kissed her as if she was the only one that mattered.

Those days are gone, she thought to herself. You're back to normal now. So is gone and life will return to how it was.

Walking across the lawn, they left Lily and the other shrines behind. The soft grass folded beneath her ballet flats and Soo followed Wook's lead, too tired to pull away from him or do anything but move forward.

He held the door open for her and Soo entered their home without a word, slipping her shoes off and making for their bedroom. Fatigue overtook her and she wanted to lay down, too overcome by the past week's events to function normally any longer.

But fate deemed that she would not be allowed to rest. As Soo passed by the living room, Mi darted out from it and took her hand, eagerly pulling her toward where she and Chae Ryung had been spending time. Having discarded most of her school uniform in her bedroom, Mi ran about in pink stockings and her spring shirt. "Mommy, come sit."

Soo went with her daughter and Wook followed behind, sitting down onto the sofa before she did.

When Soo looked up, she saw Chae Ryung on the other sofa. On the nanny's lap, drinking from the sippy cup in her hands, was Yoon, wiggling her toes and opening her mouth to the bean bun Chae Ryung offered. The nanny glanced away from Soo when she noticed her staring.

You found us… but it wasn't you that tore us apart. Soo took her eyes away from Chae Ryung and opened her arms when Mi sat down onto her lap. Her daughter looked up at her with curious eyes, gauging her emotions, and Soo knew she had to pull herself together for Mi no matter how much turmoil she felt internally.

"How was school?" asked Wook. He reached for Mi's hand and Soo sat back against the sofa as her daughter smiled and clambered onto his lap.

"Kim Ah Rong and I painted today. It was fun. We had chicken stew for lunch. It was good. We had health day and got shots for spring. Look at my band-aid, Daddy!"

Soo found herself reciprocating her daughter's smile when Mi glanced her way. She touched the two long plaits she had braided Mi's hair into, listening to Wook marvel at the bandage on Mi's arm and ask how much she weighed.

"I'm in fourth place between the girls in my class! Ah Rong is seventh, though. And in the entire class, I'm in eighth place!"

"Mommy!" Soo looked up as Yoon pushed away from Chae Ryung and scurried over to her, opening her arms to be held. Obliging, Soo picked her little girl up and cuddled the three-year-old close, kissing her soft cheeks and hugging her as Mi continued chattering to Wook. Soo ignored Chae Ryung as she made her exit. Instead, she pressed her forehead against Yoon and softly smiled as her little girl snuggled against her.

"How come Mr. So isn't here anymore?" Mi asked, swinging her legs as she sat on Wook's lap. Soo's head jerked in Mi's direction, and she immediately met eyes with Wook, who smiled and gave their daughter a kiss.

"Because Daddy's going to protect you from now on," he declared, giving Mi's arms a squeeze. "Chae Ryung will drive you to and from school, okay, princess?"

Everything seemed to move in a blur and Soo let the happiness her family provided wash over her, trying to forget the man she desperately wished was by her side. Soo could not understand the emotions that clouded her judgement, yet as she watched her girls play and run about, Soo realized something crucial: Wang So would never have hurt her or her children, or even Wook. He was a gentle and kind soul, and she had called him a monster.

Sadness and shame overcame her, and Soo felt sick.