Chapter Four
Impossible Thoughts
"Ashley mentioned you two had gotten together for coffee," Yukina called over her shoulder as Hiei slipped into Yukina and Kuwabara's second bedroom to retrieve his katana. They'd gotten the two bedroom two bath apartment as a way to tempt him to stick around more, he was sure of it. He never actually used the bedroom, however, for anything more than a storage space when he needed it, like today. Human world hated strange people dressed in black to be carrying a katana in open view, Hiei had quickly learned several years prior.
The mention of the human girl did nothing to phase him except bring back the annoying memory of her persistence to form some sort of communication between them. If he had to, he could at least say she'd been determined. Why, however, he could not say. "Are you going to see her again?" Yukina's voice drifted in from the living room. She'd been reading in an armchair with Kuwabara across from her studying some sort of papers that had been spread about in front of him. A bottle of ibuprofen sat next to Yukina on a table; she must have been suffering from a headache.
Hiei nearly snorted at the thought. "No, not likely," he said, leaving the spare room and joining them briefly in the living room before he left again. Yukina, he noted, had the distinct look of disappointment in her eyes, as if he had just told her she couldn't get a puppy for Christmas. The look was there and gone again in a flash. Too quick for any normal person - human or demon - to catch.
"Eh, it's just as well, I guess," Kuwabara began, not bothering to look up from his studies in front of him. "Not like Ashley would've liked you very much anyway."
There it was: Kuwabara's jibe. He always had one up his sleeve.
Hiei's irritation rose. "Is that why you tried setting us up, then?" He snapped.
That caught Kuwabara's attention. "Hey!" he shouted, finally looking up and jabbing his pencil in Hiei's direction. "We were trying to help you out! It's not like you could get a girlfriend and keep her, anyway!"
The implied meaning behind his words lashed at him like a blade. To anyone who knew his reputation, Hiei was nothing except cold, strong, and emotionless. A reputation he liked to keep. Still, assuming he couldn't even find a partner hit him like a ton of bricks, especially from one he counted as a friend.
He had long since had the idea that the oaf felt this way, but it had never been brought to light. Kuwabara was in a committed relationship with Yukina. So was Yusuke with his human female, Keiko. Only he and the fox were the ones not to venture that way, but it wasn't for lack of wanting. Having a partner would be a nice reprieve to the loneliness that sometimes visited him at night, but not necessary to survival. In the world as it was now, it would likely be a hindrance more than anything. His enemies, no doubt, if they found out he had a partner, would try to use her against him.
Still, the words sank their teeth into his heart. His bored and slightly irritated mask never failed.
Before he had a chance to retort, however, Yukina spoke up, her usually demure voice hard as crystals.
"Kuwabara," she began, slipping a finger between the pages she was currently reading to hold her place as she closed it on her lap. "Remember, it does take two to have a relationship. If Hiei met with her and they talked and they both realized that it wasn't a good fit, then that's their decision. Now, can you both not fight today? Please?"
Not wanting to cause her any more pain than what she was already having to suffer, they both instead shot daggers at each other over Yukina's head until Hiei turned on his heel and disappeared out the door.
It was Saturday before Ashley heard from Hiei again.
Knox had started pawing at the door, right as dinner was about to come out of the oven, and right as rain had started to fall outside.
"Hold on, hold on!" Ashley muttered under her breath as she removed the shepherd's pie from the oven and quickly grabbed Knox's leash and a rain jacket. Praying dinner wouldn't cool too quickly, Ashley rushed Knox outside into the soft rain.
As he relieved himself, Ashley took a look around. The apartment building had set up a small park with a swing set for children and a garden for the residents to enjoy. It was a nice sort of thing. Under the rain, however, no children were playing on the swing set and no one was out to enjoy the flowers today.
A shadow caught Ashley's eye, black as night, from just over her shoulder.
As she turned, she caught Hiei's crimson gaze across the garden from her.
He didn't wear a rain coat or use an umbrella, however the constant drizzle didn't seem to bother him.
Ashley didn't bother to call out a hello. After their parting words three days prior, or lack thereof, she didn't owe him anything.
Eventually, Knox realized they had company, finished his business, and whined at Hiei, trying to reach him and tugging on his leash. Hiei's gaze flicked to him.
"He likes you," Ashley finally stated. "I can't imagine why."
Hiei paused. "I've changed my mind."
As surprised as Ashley was to hear those words after his abrupt dismissal of her on Wednesday, she wasn't ready to let him off the hook just yet. "I'm sorry, you what?"
Hiei replied, "I changed my mind."
"About what?" Ashley asked, pretending to be dumbfounded. Knox decided to sit on the wet grass at the end of his leash and look back at her, tongue lolling.
Glowering, Hiei looked like a partially-drowned cat. The rain slowly picked up to a steady downpour, and as fun as it was to play with him, Knox would be a mess to clean up if he got any wetter. Going inside was the only option she could see at this point.
"I've got dinner ready," she finally said as the rain increased in intensity. "Are you hungry?"
When he didn't respond, Ashley turned to jog back under the awning of her building, Knox on her heels, not caring if Hiei followed her or not. When she looked back over her shoulder, however, he was behind her, having followed her out of the rain. His usually spiky black hair was falling flat. Any longer outside and he would have been drenched.
Ashley faced him, fully, now that Knox was out of the rain. Pushing the hood of her rain jacket out of her face, she said, "The only way you're coming up, however, is if you apologize. I'm not going to take your bullshit attitude in my home."
He stood over her five foot five frame by a few inches, and while he wasn't burly like Kuwabara, he was lean muscle. Even beneath his cloak that was obvious. It should have intimidated her, but Oliver stood at nearly six feet and could barely fit into a suit without it being tailored. Having grown up with him as a teenager, few things frightened her anymore.
He clenched his jaw; it was likely that he wasn't used to someone bossing him around, especially someone he barely knew.
Ashley, however, didn't back down.
"I… apologize," he ground out, not looking away from her steely gaze.
"For?" she prompted. She didn't move.
"Do I really need to spell it out for you? Isn't my apology enough?"
She hadn't managed to run him off yet, so he must be sincere enough that he was willing to stand before her and say it and not just dismiss her and disappear like he did last time.
Without a word, Ashley turned from him and led him through her building back up to her flat. He followed her on her heels silently, but once they made it through her door she said, "Hold him?" She handed Hiei Knox's leash without waiting for his acceptance and disappeared through her flat to get some towels.
Returning, she handed one to Hiei who accepted it without a word, then bent to rub the extra water off Knox.
"What made you change your mind?" Ashley asked, glancing up to Hiei as he removed his cloak and patted the water from his skin.
"Kuwabara never knows when to keep his mouth shut," Hiei responded. "He never has."
Hiei wasn't a very open person, Ashley noted. If the last time they saw each other was any indication, he didn't like to share himself or his reasons behind things. Apparently that went for his answer to her now, as well.
"You need to prove yourself or something?" Ashley asked, standing and taking his towel and cloak which dripped every few seconds on the floor. "I'm going to hang this in the tub to dry."
He nodded once as she disappeared into the bathroom and said, "Just the opposite. I don't need anyone's approval and I don't need to prove myself." Ashley came back out of the bathroom and crossed to the stove where her shepherd's pie still sat waiting. "But the oaf needs to shut his mouth."
A small smile slipped onto Ashley's lips. Just from meeting Kuwabara the few times she had she could see him accidentally stepping over the boundary of what to say and what not to say and when to say it.
She took two plates from her cupboard and served the shepherd's pie. "Do you want anything to drink?" Looking over her shoulder, Hiei still stood awkwardly in her doorway.
"You know, you don't have to be so tense," she said, pouring a glass of water for herself. "I'm not going to murder you or anything." She smiled, trying to let Hiei know he was free to relax, but even though he moved to a few feet behind her, he was still as tightly wound as a spring. "I try to make my flat feel a little more British, you know? Just to keep a piece of home around me. Have you ever had this before?" She held out the plate for Hiei to take.
"Can't say I have," he replied as he took it and looked at the concoction of meat, potatoes, carrots, and celery. "What on earth is this?" To someone who had never seen a shepherds pie it would likely seem a little odd to cover the lamb with mashed potatoes, but to Ashley, it was home.
"Mum used to make this for me and my siblings when Dad was away, way back when I was little." She went ahead and poured him a glass of water since he never actually said what he wanted to drink. Everyone liked water, right? "Reminds me of home, you know?"
Hiei didn't say a word, but rather followed her to the kontatsu where Knox was already waiting.
As he sat, he looked at the plate of food questioningly. "Go ahead," Ashley encouraged. "Tuck in!"
Hiei still sat there, and quickly Ashley realized where the cultural gap was coming from. "Itadakimasu!" She said. "Sorry, we don't say that before we eat in England. But we can also say grace if you want."
Rather than replying to her, he also said, "Itadakimasu," under his breath and lifted the fork to his mouth. Ashley watched him chew for a moment before taking her own bite. Spices and flavors of home filled her mouth as she watched him.
"This is good," he finally said before his second bite.
"Thank you," Ashley replied, letting her gaze fall back to her own plate. Trying to be discreet, she watched the stranger in her home. He seemed to enjoy the food at least, and slowly seemed to relax while taking in her apartment. Knox roamed from Hiei to Ashley when he realized Hiei wouldn't be giving up his food for him. Ashley ran a hand down Knox's coat.
"Have you read all those?" He asked and nodded to the books that lined her shelves.
"I have," she replied. "I couldn't bare to leave them behind. I think I should have majored in books, honestly; I love to read." When his gaze snapped back to her, she fell silent, not sure if she should continue.
The only sound in the little flat was the pouring rain outside her window and the intermediate cracks of lightning, which she loved.
"Leave them behind," he said aloud, mulling over the words as Ashley took another bite. "You're here from England, correct?"
Once she chewed and swallowed, she replied, "Yes, from London. I'm here teaching English."
"Tell me about it." It sounded less like a request and more like a demand, and honestly, Ashley was confused what exactly he wanted her to tell him. She voiced her question and Hiei replied with a low scoff, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "About England, or London. Whichever."
"Well," Ashley began, wiping her lips and setting down her fork. How to tell a complete stranger about the beauty that was her city? "London itself is quite small, and it's been around for centuries. Which means that the architecture is gorgeous, and it's got so much history, you know? But I'm sure you do; everyone knows how London looks. I mean, yeah, London's got it's problems, but every place does. It's an incredible city with people who are pretty incredible, themselves. Some of the nicest people I've ever met have come from London."
She paused and glanced up, catching Hiei's gaze. "Do you miss it?"
"Well, yeah," Ashley replied. "It's home. It's the place I grew up, and all my friends are there. And my family's there."
"Your family?" he prompted, taking another bite and listening to her talk. Or perhaps he was pretending to listen to her talk. He didn't look particularly interested.
Ashley nodded anyway. She'd direct questions back to him soon enough. Maybe what he needed was someone else beginning the conversation to get started, himself.
"My Mum and Dad live there. Dad's got the company, which he's training my brother, Oliver, to take over one day. Oliver's about to be married to Emily, like I said the other day, and Emily's got her son, James, who's nine, from her first marriage. You can tell, though, that Oliver loves James like his own," Ashley replied easily with a smile. It was always easy to talk about her family. "Dad thinks I'd be good at the company, too. Apparently, I've got some natural knack for technology or something - can you believe it? Me, who'd rather have my nose in a book? - and my sister, Sophia, is essentially going to inherit the House." At Hiei's questioning look, Ashley continued. "The House is… how do I explain the House?
"It's been on my Mother's side of the family for generations," she continued, finally just deciding to barge on through the explanation. That was really the only way not to bore people. "It's just a wee bit south of London in a tiny village of Pluckley. We've owned that house for decades and decades. It's got about four ghosts I think, unless the number has risen some recently." At Hiei's slightly concerned look, Ashley defended, "Well, my Aunt is about to pass on and when she does, Sophia will inherit it. If Aunt Cathy's got any lingering issues, she'll probably stick around, too, with how attached she is to it. And then Sophia is about to marry Daniel, who is the brother of my best friend, Isla. Speaking of which, I need to call her back." Ashley, not wanting to get up from the kontatsu at that moment and break their conversation, as one-sided as it was, decided to make a mental note to call Isla later. Hiei looked slightly lost. "You need a family tree, don't you?" Ashley teased with a smile as she took another bite.
"Now, I know you probably are bored listening to me talk. How about you?" she encouraged. "I mean, I know you didn't want to talk about your family before, but where did you grow up?"
He paused, hesitating. "I grew up all over; never really in one place."
Ashley decided to try to coax his replies out, even though it hadn't worked so well just a few days ago. "Was your family in the military? Or oil?"
She could feel him grow tense next to her. It took a few long seconds but he eventually ground out, "I was alone for most of it."
That was like a kick in the shins. Great job, Ashley, she internally criticized herself. He was in the foster system. Great way to bring up possibly painful memories. No wonder he didn't want to talk about it.
Quickly, she changed the subject. "What do you like to do in your free time?" When he paused, she continued, "You know I like to read, obviously; what do you like to do?"
He shifted. "I enjoy training," he said. All his responses seemed measured somehow, like he was trying to find the best way to answer her without answering directly. It was almost like there was a second meaning behind all his words. "I don't have time for much else."
"So, like, martial arts? Or do you lift?" Ashley eyed his toned arms again, now fully visible since he removed his cloak. He wore black pants and a shirt that had the sleeves cut off. One arm was wrapped from wrist to elbow, as if he was injured somehow.
"I am skilled in sword fighting and hand-to-hand combat," Hiei replied. When he didn't try to continue with details, Ashley motioned to his right arm and the wrap.
"Did you hurt yourself?" Hiei looked confused for a moment until Ashley motioned again to his arm.
His eyes leveled in understanding. "No," he said with a brief shake of his head. "This has to do with part of my training."
Again, no details were given, but Ashley didn't pry, just changed the subject. "So what's your favorite type of food? You said you traveled a lot, right? Surely you've gotten to try lots of things." Slowly but surely, Hiei opened up for Ashley in his strangely measured responses.
Their conversation continued at their awkward pace for the next hour or two, until their plates were clean and the rain let up enough for Hiei not to get drenched as he left.
"Oh, Hiei!" Ashley called over her shoulder at the kitchen sink as Hiei shrugged on his cloak. "If you'd still like to do this, would you please get a phone and give me your number? This'll be loads easier if we can communicate directly rather than through Yukina or hoping you show up in the flowerbeds."
She said it so seriously and kept her face so devoid of the laughter she felt bubbling up within her, in hopes to make Hiei crack a smile. It didn't succeed. "That's fine; I can do that," he replied, not even acknowledging her attempt at a joke.
As he slipped out the door which clicked shut behind him, she turned to Knox who was ignoring her at that moment and instead sniffing around the kontatsu for crumbs. Ashley sighed and muttered, "What on earth have I committed myself to?"
- End of Chapter Four -
I apologize this chapter is late. One week ago today I learned there was a little tropical depression growing in the Gulf of Mexico. I started stocking up on supplies. Over the few days that led to Friday, that little tropical storm grew into the worst hurricane that the United States has seen in over a decade and the worst storm that has hit my area in decades, plural. Over the weekend I could barely write, trying to keep up with the weather without succumbing to my growing anxiety. Today has been the first day I've been able to concentrate on something other than Possible Impending Doom. Even now, we have notice to watch the Bayou levels that are less than a mile from my apartment. The river levels are still rising, but for now I am safe and dry.
The sun is out and Harvey has passed us, but there's still flooding everywhere. Ambulances still wail and wake us and disappear again. Military and coast guard helicopters still pass by low overhead. The rivers still overflows. Evacuations are still being ordered and rescues are still being performed. Roads still collapse under the weight of constant water. Homes are still lost to the continually creeping waters.
So many people have been displaced. It's so much worse than what the news says. If you can, donate your time, funds, prayers, food, items, anything you can spare. I am safe and dry, but I have friends and immediate family who are not.
Thank you to BreakingSerenity0629, Ne Quittez Pas, WistfulSin, Ikara-o-Kage, Totidem Verbis, destinyswindow, and Star Charter for reviewing Chapter Three. I apologize I have not replied to your beautiful reviews yet.
I do not own, in any way, the characters, places, or ideas of the Yu Yu Hakusho universe created by Yoshihiro Togashi. I only own my own characters and plot.