Chapter Eleven

Long Lost Dreams

The stage lights were blinding and raging hot.

A collective hush had fallen over the audience, waiting for her performance.

The dress was slightly too tight, just at the waist. Her mother hadn't had a chance to take it out to be tailored since her last performance.

Her heart was in her throat, pounding away in her ears, a roar of sound where there otherwise was none.

Her shoes clicked against the stage as she crossed from the wings to the piano and sat, back ramrod straight.

How many times had she done this before? Even so, the nerves of anticipation always came for a visit.

Still, no sound came from the audience as her fingers graced the ivories, just a fleeting touch.

Then, she played.

The dream was recurring, and, if Ashley was being honest with herself, it could go fuck itself.

How many times had Ashley had this same dream any time life got hard and she longed for the piano again? Throughout growing up the piano had always been that steady presence that she could go to to lose herself for awhile. It was her rock. It was only when she could no longer play and no longer had access to a piano that she picked up running in the first place.

Still, the dream, or any variation of it, always put a damper on her day, knowing that those days when she could play were past her now, and that it was no longer part of her life.

She'd even had the damnned dream the night before the went to Nikko National Park. Hiei probably thought she'd just been a bitch that morning -

Hiei.

Letting out a breath and rolling her eyes, there it was again: that longing to talk to a man who'd barely ever spoken to her by choice and still hadn't contacted her.

She'd promised herself a week previously that she wouldn't contact him, pissed off at his lack of communication or willingness to work with her and instead expecting her to do all the work. And she'd kept her promise. She hadn't contacted him.

That didn't mean that she didn't often sneak glances at her phone, always feeling the slight disappointment when no text from Hiei awaited her, and always feeling slightly guilty for wanting there to be one.

Hiei had made his intentions perfectly clear. He wasn't interested in her and their friendship was over.

So why was it that she still hoped he might change his mind? It shouldn't bother her; not this much. She knew that. She barely even knew him.

Knox, who seemed to know that she was distracted that morning with longings she shouldn't have, nudged her elbow, trying to flop her arm on top of his little body for scratches. The gesture was so Knox that she couldn't help but laugh. "You ready for your walk?" She asked him in English, and hauled herself out of bed.

She couldn't shake the dream all morning, however. It had left her feeling lighthearted and distracted. How it felt to play the piano on the rush of a competition was quite possibly the greatest feeling ever.

First class went okay. By lunchtime, and after some research on her computer, she had found that Mushiyori University had a music department.

The knowledge stilled her.

Did she dare try to play again?

After her second class, Ashley was arguing back and forth with herself on whether or not to stop by the music department and see if they had a piano she could play.

Of course, what reputable music department would allow a stranger to just play their enormously expensive instruments? Even if she was a staff member, they didn't know her.

Perhaps she could sneak in?

A thought occurred to her, then, that she was acting as if she was addicted and needed a fix. That brought a smile out, only to be extinguished with disappointment as she glanced at her phone for the time, only to feel the slight pang of disappointment of not having a text from Hiei.

This was a cycle she needed to break. Desperately.

By the end of her second class, and still having most of the afternoon free, Ashley snuck out of the foreign languages building, avoiding contact with anyone that could possibly stall her motivation to find the music department.

Thankfully, she encountered no one, and it was relatively easy to find. The two buildings sat fairly close to the foreign languages hall.

Ashley slipped into the two-story building that wasn't labeled as "Concert Hall," the door swinging closed on silent hinges behind her.

"Hello?" she tentatively called out.

There was no front reception desk. And no one was in the halls. Most of the lights were out. Maybe no one had classes in the building on Fridays?

Feeling very out of place, and very much like she was trespassing, Ashley shuffled through the hall quickly. If no one was around, that meant no one was around to tell her she couldn't find the nearest piano.

The entire building, she found out, was dark. A few practice rooms were lit and occupied, but their occupants all had their eyes on sheet music, headphones over their ears, and their respective instruments in their mouths or in their hands.

Ashley continued her search through the building, scampering down the hall until she found a room whose door was propped open. A few of the overhead lights were on inside, but they weren't blazing bright like the other practice rooms had been.

A piano waited for her inside, the keys sparkling beneath the dim lights.

Ashley's breath caught, and for a moment, she couldn't quite think. "Hello?" she called into the room. The room wasn't perfectly square, and instead had a hallway leading out from the other side. Likely a door was on the other side, but it wasn't visible from where Ashley stood.

No one replied. "Hello?" she called again, just in case whomever was using this room hadn't heard her, but the room remained silent. Sheet music was on the music rack, so someone had been here at some point. Of course, there was the possibility that they had just left their sheet music on the piano in whatever rush they had been to leave, but that wasn't likely. Ashley, at least, never forgot her sheet music while she had been playing. She'd done that only once at her instructor's house, and after a quick scare of him throwing it in the fireplace, Ashley had learned never to do that again. Plus, the fall board was pulled back exposing the keys. Likely, whomever had been using the piano before now had just stepped out for a moment.

She entertained the brief thought of leaving and finding another piano. But the room was empty. Surely it wouldn't hurt to play for just a moment.

Ashley approached the piano, which sat so innocently in the middle of the room. Around the edges, seats were arranged. It was likely a lecture hall. Whatever professor who used this piano would likely be pissed as shit if they knew another person had played it, but it was so close.

The memory of touching the ivories before her last performance resurfaced, clear as a spring day.

Once more, for the first time in four and a half years, Ashley's fingers hovered over the ivories. Time slowed, and her heart beat faster, like a tattoo in her chest.

Her heart was the only thing she could hear in her ears, the pressure and nerves of even pressing a key to hear the familiar tune of middle C nearly overwhelming.

The room tilted, the walls growing closer.

The door opposite banged open, sharpening Ashley's world back into focus.

Not waiting to see who it was, she turned tail, embarrassment flooding her cheeks in a hot rush, and disappeared back into the hallway, running back to the safety of the sidewalks outside the building where she could blend in with everyone else.

No, trying to pick up the piano where she had left off would be a terrible idea.

- End of Chapter Eleven -

Thank you to Kristy Himura, blueveins92, and WistfulSin for reviewing chapter ten! If you like what you read, please review! I know Hiei hasn't been in these last who chapters except in brief mention, but next chapter will be from his point of view.

I, personally, celebrate Yule, so here's a chapter a few days early as my gift to all of you. Thank you for following my little fic so far. I never ever thought anyone would enjoy it as much as I do, and honestly, anytime I see someone say how much they're enjoying it, a part of me is just dumbfounded. But, I guess that comes with sharing your story with other people. Like, I know I like it; but I'm writing it. I guess I never expected anyone else to like it, too. So, thank you. Thank you. So, for whatever you celebrate this holiday season, if you celebrate anything in particular, Happy Holidays. May your season be filled with love and happiness.

I do not own, in any way, the characters, places, or ideas of the Yu Yu Hakusho universe created by Yoshihiro Togashi. I only own my own characters and plot.