Chapter Two: One Life, Now Two

I went for a run in the morning just before the sun made its way over the horizon. It was a daily habit of mine, partly to clear my head, and partly to keep fit. Maybe a few days from now it wouldn't matter; maybe I wasn't even going to be a Marine anymore after this.

The thought was unimaginable to me, as the Corps had quite literally been my life thus far. If they found me guilty, a dishonorable discharge was a distinct possibility. More likely, though, I figured I'd be looking at a demotion to lieutenant colonel or even major, and maybe a reassignment or a form of professional purgatory at a desk job for the rest of my days. If that happened, I was done as soon as my contract was up - I couldn't live that way and still wear the uniform.

Too many unsavory possibilities awaited me. Of course I worried, and the nervousness and anxiety about what might happen was always in the back of my mind. But I never let it get to the forefront, and I never let the thoughts take over. Wringing my hands about it all wasn't going to help, and it wouldn't change the outcome, whatever that might be. So, it was best to let go, and try to keep myself as healthy and as up on my training as I could, just on the off-chance things actually worked out.

That almost made me chuckle.

I went for six miles this morning instead of my usual eight, as I had to get ready to meet with Willis and our respective attorneys later. Lawyers were sure getting a lot of work out of my family lately.

Dripping in sweat, I finished the run with the sun now gently warming the ground. Rather than take a route through the base, as I often did, and stop at the track for calisthenics, I'd instead run through the city suburbs, coming to a halt at one of the many small parks in the neighborhood. I recognized it because I brought my kids here on occasion. It gave them a place to release their pent-up energy when they were with me, and made them smile for a while rather than brood over their father and I's breakup.

I knew this was harder on them than me - even though the pain was unfathomable. I still loved Willis, and it hadn't been easy to admit we needed this time apart. But to my kids, the rug had been pulled out from under them unexpectedly when we got home, and their whole world had been torn apart. All they'd ever known was me and Willis together, and their parents being in love.

We still were, but it was different, broken somehow, and I truly hoped this separation would fix it. But nothing was certain, and an equally likely scenario was that this was just a pit-stop on the way to divorce - that that fracture would never become whole again. So, to not get their hopes up, Willis and I had both decided it was best to treat this as the full break that it was, and not lead them on that we'd get back together someday.

I paused in the sunlight to take a drink of water from the bottle strapped to my hip, then sat down in the grass for a moment. After a five-minute break, it was on to a series of sit-ups and push-ups, and then I made my way over to the pull-up bar in the corner, adjacent to the kids' play area.

Twenty minutes and many reps later, I was spent, but feeling great. The high from the endorphins was nice.

But I knew that unfortunately, it wouldn't carry over into the rest of the day's activities.

Once I got home, I immediately stripped off my PT clothes and jumped in the shower. After that I pulled on fresh underclothes and socks, and started to put on my battledress uniform. It was nice to wear it again, as I was currently on paid administrative leave at half pay until my hearing. A vacation from my usual job on base, in other words...but not a welcome one.

I put my shoulder-length brown hair up in a bun per regulations, and then sat down again to pull on my combat boots - different from the civilian ones I'd worn to the range last night. Once I was satisfied in my appearance, I collected my keys and my datapad, and walked out the door.

I took a transport to the meeting place, as the law office I was headed to was downtown, and not easily reached on foot from here. I arrived with fifteen minutes to spare, so I ducked into a nearby café for a quick coffee.

Afterward I checked my watch. Just five minutes left. I proceeded into the main lobby of the large building. The outside was imposing, with several stories of reflective glass - more conspicuous and self-important looking than the usual nondescript buildings on base. Inside, it was even more impressive, with a giant seal in gold on the white, glossy stone floor reading, "The Law Offices of O'Marty, LeMar, and Tellerman" as you walked in. I was definitely not in Kansas anymore.

"Rethinking your occupation, Colonel? You seem a little star-struck."

I turned at the sound of the voice to see my lawyer. She was petite and dressed in a smart white business suit with a dark blue blouse and matching dark blue pumps. It reminded me a little of my older brother Mark's Navy dress whites. She had short black hair and shining eyes, bright with excitement, and looked to be a good ten years younger than me.

New and inexperienced, in other words.

I gave her a tight smile. "No. Too cushy and fancy for my tastes, I'm afraid."

She giggled. Actually giggled. "That's okay! You'll get used to it, ma'am." She stuck out her hand. "I'm Cindy Tellerman, junior attorney here. You must be Natalie Cooper."

"Yes," I answered flatly. I felt like I had to do something to counteract her buoyancy. "You do know we're meeting for my separation, right? Like from my marriage?"

"Oh, yes! Fourteen years this June, right? That's impressive! Especially considering you both survived the War."

"Right, but we're not together anymore..."

"We'll get the details down later. Let's get upstairs. The meeting's about to begin."

I had no choice but to follow her up.

We took the elevator and not surprisingly, it was made of transparent glass, with a view of the lobby as you virtually floated up. It came to a gentle halt at the fifth floor, and we stepped off.

"Right this way, Colonel," the woman said brightly. "We'll be holding this in the conference room down on the end. It's a corner office space. Great view!"

Yes, I thought to myself. I'm taking the first step to potentially dissolving my marriage, and I'm oh so worried about the view we'll have.

Tellerman walked into the room first after going down the narrow corridor. When I came in behind her, I saw Willis sitting in his own battledress uniform on the other side of a large table - with an older male lawyer at his side.

My breath caught. I hadn't seen Willis face-to-face since Puget. Once we'd loaded up on our ship to come home, we'd had separate quarters on separate decks, and no real reason to see each other in person. In fact, I felt it'd been part of the process not to. We'd corresponded via text when necessary - mostly as we got closer to getting home, as we thought about what we'd say to the kids, how we'd go about deciding on living arrangements, and the like. Since then, I'd always gone to pick up the kids at his parents' house on my days. That had been awkward at first, but we'd reasoned earlier that not seeing each other for a while would give us more space and some time to reflect.

But seeing him here, now, and knowing what we were here for...the emotions resurfaced all at once, and it was all I could do to take in a deep, calming breath to swallow them down.

"Ms. Tellerman," Willis's attorney nodded to her as she sat.

"Mr. Goldberg," she returned.

I sat down next to her, right across from Willis, and our eyes met. His expression was serious, and just as quickly as we looked at one another, he turned away.

"Shall we begin?" Goldberg asked, and Tellerman nodded, surprisingly more composed now.

"Let's."

"All right. Well, we've got quite a bit to get through here...but this doesn't look nearly as complicated as some couples. Only one property to divvy up, a joint checking and savings account, some investments, and a custody agreement for four children." He glanced up from skimming the file on his datapad. "That sound correct?"

"Yes."

Goldberg nodded. "Okay. We'll start with my client's list of demands, then. With regards to the shared property - a five-bedroom, four-bath, two-story family home in Desmond - Major Hawk would like - "

"Let him have it," I said, and the whole table instantly fell silent. Tellerman looked at me with barely concealed shock.

"Ma'am, you realize you're forfeiting your rights to all ownership of the property, including any profits in a sale of the home which you co-own, and have invested considerable - "

"I know what I'm doing. He can have the house." I looked over at Goldberg and Willis in turn. "It was supposed to be our forever home for our kids, a place to set down some roots for them on our home planet after years of moving around. I'm not interested in it being sold, nor any money I'd make from its sale. It's his."

Tellerman seemed reluctant to let it go, while on the other side, Goldberg coughed.

"All right, then. Moving on...as to the liquid assets shared by the couple, in the event of a dissolution of marriage, Major Hawk would like to suggest they be divided in half. Is that agreeable to your client, Ms. Tellerman?"

I nodded, and she said, "Yes."

"Very well." Goldberg glanced at Willis for a moment, with a look of surprise over how quickly this was going. "With that, we're at our last but certainly most important consideration. Major Hawk would like to establish joint custody of their four children - Gabriel, Liam, Olivia, and Logan Hawk. He would like both legal and physical custody to be shared equally with the colonel."

Again I nodded, and Tellerman affirmed my decision to her colleague.

"Have you come up with a schedule?" she asked me and Willis then, and we finally looked at each other again.

Willis cleared his throat before facing me. "What if we keep it the same as now?"

"Alternating days?" I asked, and shook my head. "No. It may have worked out recently, but that's not a long-term plan. It's too disruptive. They need more stability." Especially if their father and I don't get back together, I thought.

"Okay. Alternating weeks, then?"

"No. It's too long to go without the kids. I'd want to see them more often, as I'm sure you do, too."

Willis threw his hands up in mild frustration. "Fine. Then you tell me, Cooper."

I swallowed hard again at his tone. Apparently the time apart had not endeared ourselves to one another.

Maybe we'd been wrong about that. Maybe it'd just made old wounds fester, rather than make us miss each other.

I thought for a while before I finally said, "I don't know, Will. I don't really have a better solution. I guess I just - "

"I'm going to butt in here, guys," Tellerman said, and once again surprised me with her professional tone. "I've seen something similar with many couples I've worked with in the past. They want 50-50 custody, but can't agree on how to split up that time. Everyone wants more time with their kids, am I right?"

I sat there listening, wondering how she could possibly know what it felt like to be separated from her children when she'd never had to go through what we had. I'd had to do it over and over again on deployment, as had Willis; when we got home, all we wanted was to see our kids. To have that taken away once we were safely back in garrison, too, was monumental to both of us. Splitting the short time we already had had been...unfathomable at first, and was still very difficult to do now.

But I supposed that somehow, an accord had to be reached.

Tellerman didn't wait for an answer. "Here's what I've seen proposed, and take what you will from it. There's almost an infinite number of combinations of schedules you can use, but what it sounds like you two may want to consider is trading off every three days, rather than every day, or every week. Perfect in-between, yeah?"

"That still leaves one day a week," Willis noted, but Tellerman had an answer for that as well.

"Correct, Major. Each week, say in the middle, you'll have one night where the other spouse gets the children. You alternate weeks for this extra day. How's that sound?"

"It's...a little complicated," I said, glancing down at the table. Then I lifted my head again. "But it could work."

Tellerman looked to Willis then. "Major Hawk?"

"I guess that's the best answer. Thank you for suggesting it." He looked over at me. "I'm in."

"Okay. Let's do it."

"Great," Tellerman replied, practically beaming. "Then I assume our meeting here is concluded?"

Goldberg held up a hand. "Give us a moment, please."

Tellerman nodded, and Willis and his attorney turned their backs to us. We did the same, out of courtesy.

"This has been so easy!" she said to me in a low voice. "Whatever made you two separate, you'll sure have a quick and very amicable divorce!"

Wonderful, I thought to myself. I'm sure there'll be no feelings involved at all, or hurt children.

Goldberg gestured to us when they were ready, and he straightened in his chair.

"Right. So there's one more issue my client would like to touch on," he said. "Given the considerable upkeep of your sizable property for your four children, and Colonel Cooper's notably higher income relative to the major's...Major Hawk would also like to request spousal support."

"How much?" Tellerman asked.

Goldberg wrote down a number on a notepad, then slid it across the table for my attorney and I to see. Tellerman raised an eyebrow, then looked at Goldberg again.

"Monthly?"

"Yes."

She glanced at me then, and I released a sigh. After my hearing, I might not even have much of an income anymore to give. Or even any at all. I'd already had my pay halved at the moment, and was renting out a three-bedroom apartment on my own. Money, for the foreseeable future, would likely be tight, despite the considerable sum I made under normal circumstances. But so long as things remained the same, it wasn't something that was out of reach, or unreasonable.

"You can have it," I said, and I looked right at Willis.

Beside him, Goldberg practically glowed. "Excellent. This has been very productive. Thank you both for your speed and ease in settling this matter." He placed his datapad on the table. "This is your agreement. We just need your signatures, and your separation is binding and legal, as are the conditions you have agreed to here today. Should you decide to file for divorce in the future, everything will already be in place, and it'll be quick and painless."

Quick and painless, I thought, as Willis was the first to sign the document. Then he passed it over to me, and I signed.

It's not how I would have described the end of my family, and the great love of my life.